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** ''(as thugs armed with wooden stakes break into the apartment'' "Watchtower~" ''(stakes PC and woman he was with)'' "GAH! Talk about morning wood! Heh, did that joke for Rex and Weevil."

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** ''(as thugs armed with wooden stakes break into the apartment'' apartment)'' "Watchtower~" ''(stakes PC and woman he was with)'' "GAH! Talk about morning wood! Heh, did that joke for Rex and Weevil."
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** ''(as thugs armed with wooden stakes break into the apartment'' "Watchtower~" ''(stakes PC and woman he was with)'' "GAH! Talk about morning wood! Heh, did that joke for Rex and Weevil."
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* "I think we should go with the 'sexy' vampire, [[TedBaxter that way I won't have to do much actual roleplaying]]."

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* "I think we should go with the 'sexy' vampire, [[TedBaxter [[MrFanservice that way I won't have to do much actual roleplaying]]."
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* In Part 6, Marik enters the house of Mel Gibson. Many [[TakeThat Take Thats]] ensue, but every time he does so, something terrible happens, and he desperately tries to appease Gibson's spirit.

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* In Part 6, Marik enters the house of Mel Gibson. Many [[TakeThat Take Thats]] ensue, but every time he does so, something terrible happens, and he desperately tries to appease Gibson's spirit.spirit.
*Most of the descriptions for the vampire classes, whether they're ShoutOuts like "The [[Disney/{{Tarzan }} Disney's Tarzan]] vampire, complete with soundtrack by PhilCollins," or the "[[MemeticMutation haters gonna hate]]" vampire.
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-->'''Marik''': [[SarcasmMode Wow, it's nice to see that the vampire society didn't spare me any expense in my accomodations!]] ''(looking at the [[{{Squick}} stained bedclothes]])'' And oh hey! My bedclothes are ''covered in urine! They '''shouldn't have!''''' Something tells me that "Jack" guy had something to do with this. ''(imitating Jack)'' "''(gibberish)'' come here to piss on yer bed! ''(gibberish)''" And what's with all these freaking notes?! I have a computer--it's right there! Just email me! What is this, the Dark Ages?! I know you're vampires and all, but come on! ''(sits at a laptop with a primitive looking command line OS)'' And oh good! My laptop is apparently on loan from the 1980's! ''(imitating a monotone computer voice)'' "[[{{Wargames}} Hello, Mr. Ishtar. Would you like to play a game?]]" I fee like frigging [[HomestarRunner Strong Bad]] here...''(reading)'' "Mercurio will contact you when you get to San--" yeah, maybe Mercurio can run over here and de-urinate my freaking bed, huh? How about that?! ''(reading an "enlarge your penis" spam e-mail)'' Hey Bakura! I think I got some of ''your'' e-mail by mistake!

to:

-->'''Marik''': [[SarcasmMode Wow, it's nice to see that the vampire society didn't spare me any expense in my accomodations!]] ''(looking at the [[{{Squick}} stained bedclothes]])'' And oh hey! My bedclothes are ''covered in urine! They '''shouldn't have!''''' Something tells me that "Jack" guy had something to do with this. ''(imitating Jack)'' "''(gibberish)'' come here to piss on yer bed! ''(gibberish)''" And what's with all these freaking notes?! I have a computer--it's right there! Just email me! What is this, the Dark Ages?! I know you're vampires and all, but come on! ''(sits at a laptop with a primitive looking command line OS)'' And oh good! My laptop is apparently on loan from the 1980's! ''(imitating a monotone computer voice)'' "[[{{Wargames}} Hello, Mr. Ishtar. Would you like to play a game?]]" I fee feel like frigging [[HomestarRunner Strong Bad]] here...''(reading)'' "Mercurio will contact you when you get to San--" yeah, maybe Mercurio can run over here and de-urinate my freaking bed, huh? How about that?! ''(reading an "enlarge your penis" spam e-mail)'' Hey Bakura! I think I got some of ''your'' e-mail by mistake!
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-->'''Marik''': [[SarcasmMode Wow, it's nice to see that the vampire society didn't spare me any expense in my accomodations!]] ''(looking at the [[{{Squick}} stained bedclothes]])'' And oh hey! My bedclothes are ''covered in urine! They '''shouldn't have!''''' Something tells me that "Jack" guy had something to do with this. ''(imitating Jack)'' "''(gibberish)'' come here to piss on yer bed! ''(gibberish)'' "And what's with all these freaking notes?! I have a computer--it's right there! Just email me! What is this, the Dark Ages?! I know you're vampires and all, but come on! ''(sits at a laptop with a primitive looking command line OS)'' And oh good! My laptop is apparently on loan from the 1980's! '''(imitating a monotone computer voice)'' "[[{{Wargames}} Hello, Mr. Ishtar. Would you like to play a game?]]" I fee like frigging [[HomestarRunner Strong Bad]] here...''(reading)'' "Mercurio will contact you when you get to San--" yeah, maybe Mercurio can run over here and de-urinate my freaking bed, huh? How about that?! ''(reading an "enlarge your penis" spam e-mail)'' Hey Bakura! I think I got some of ''your'' e-mail by mistake!

to:

-->'''Marik''': [[SarcasmMode Wow, it's nice to see that the vampire society didn't spare me any expense in my accomodations!]] ''(looking at the [[{{Squick}} stained bedclothes]])'' And oh hey! My bedclothes are ''covered in urine! They '''shouldn't have!''''' Something tells me that "Jack" guy had something to do with this. ''(imitating Jack)'' "''(gibberish)'' come here to piss on yer bed! ''(gibberish)'' "And ''(gibberish)''" And what's with all these freaking notes?! I have a computer--it's right there! Just email me! What is this, the Dark Ages?! I know you're vampires and all, but come on! ''(sits at a laptop with a primitive looking command line OS)'' And oh good! My laptop is apparently on loan from the 1980's! '''(imitating ''(imitating a monotone computer voice)'' "[[{{Wargames}} Hello, Mr. Ishtar. Would you like to play a game?]]" I fee like frigging [[HomestarRunner Strong Bad]] here...''(reading)'' "Mercurio will contact you when you get to San--" yeah, maybe Mercurio can run over here and de-urinate my freaking bed, huh? How about that?! ''(reading an "enlarge your penis" spam e-mail)'' Hey Bakura! I think I got some of ''your'' e-mail by mistake!
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-->'''Marik''': Hahaha!

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-->'''Marik''': Hahaha!Hahaha! Man, I think this laptop has [[TechMarchesOn over 8MB of RAM]]!

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* When he's being briefed on his new life:
-->'''Jack''': Now you're half beast, half man--\\
'''Marik''': [[OhCrap Wait, I'm a furry too]]?! Oh, god! [[ItGotWorse this day just gets worse and worse!]]



-->'''Bakura''': [[EvilLaugh *Laughs*]]

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-->'''Bakura''': [[EvilLaugh *Laughs*]]''[[EvilLaugh (laughs)]]''



-->'''Marik''': [[SarcasmMode Wow, it's nice to see that the vampire society didn't spare me any expense in my accomodations!]] ''[looking at the [[{{Squick}} stained bedclothes]]]'' And oh hey! My bedclothes are ''covered in urine! They '''shouldn't have!''''' [...] ''[sits at a laptop with a primitive looking command line OS]'' And oh good! My laptop is apparently on loan from the 1980's! ''[muffled]'' "Hello, Mr. Ishtar. [[{{Wargames}} Would you like to play a game?]]" [...] ''[reading an "enlarge your penis" spam e-mail]'' Hey Bakura! I think I got some of YOUR e-mail by mistake!

to:

-->'''Marik''': [[SarcasmMode Wow, it's nice to see that the vampire society didn't spare me any expense in my accomodations!]] ''[looking ''(looking at the [[{{Squick}} stained bedclothes]]]'' bedclothes]])'' And oh hey! My bedclothes are ''covered in urine! They '''shouldn't have!''''' [...] ''[sits Something tells me that "Jack" guy had something to do with this. ''(imitating Jack)'' "''(gibberish)'' come here to piss on yer bed! ''(gibberish)'' "And what's with all these freaking notes?! I have a computer--it's right there! Just email me! What is this, the Dark Ages?! I know you're vampires and all, but come on! ''(sits at a laptop with a primitive looking command line OS]'' OS)'' And oh good! My laptop is apparently on loan from the 1980's! ''[muffled]'' "Hello, '''(imitating a monotone computer voice)'' "[[{{Wargames}} Hello, Mr. Ishtar. [[{{Wargames}} Would you like to play a game?]]" [...] ''[reading I fee like frigging [[HomestarRunner Strong Bad]] here...''(reading)'' "Mercurio will contact you when you get to San--" yeah, maybe Mercurio can run over here and de-urinate my freaking bed, huh? How about that?! ''(reading an "enlarge your penis" spam e-mail]'' e-mail)'' Hey Bakura! I think I got some of YOUR ''your'' e-mail by mistake!
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-->'''Marik''': Wait, what am I supposed to be doing? So...to summarize, vampires exist, and they like to hold really ineffectual club meetings in theaters under cover of darkness...and most of them live in California--man, these aren't vampires, they're actors who can't get work!

to:

-->'''Marik''': Wait, what am I supposed to be doing? So...to summarize, vampires exist, and they like to hold really ineffectual club meetings in theaters under cover of darkness...and darkness--and most of them live in California--man, California...man, these aren't vampires, they're actors who can't get work!
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-->'''Marik:''' Oh, what good are you?!

to:

-->'''Marik:''' Oh, what good are you?!you?!
* In Part 6, Marik enters the house of Mel Gibson. Many [[TakeThat Take Thats]] ensue, but every time he does so, something terrible happens, and he desperately tries to appease Gibson's spirit.
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It's LittleKuriboh! It is a guarantee that this page exists!
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-->'''Marik:''' What good are you?!

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-->'''Marik:''' What Oh, what good are you?!

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-->'''Marik''': But wait, what am I supposed to do with that dead body I left in the parking lot? Seriously, Bakura, you killed lots of people. Do you have any advice?

to:

-->'''Marik''': But wait, what am I supposed to do with that dead body I left in the parking lot? Seriously, Bakura, you killed kill lots of people. Do you have any advice?



-->'''Marik''': [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]]! Come back Mr. Tweetums! [[CallBack Come back Artax]], stupid horse!

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-->'''Marik''': [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]]! Come back Mr. Tweetums! [[CallBack Come back Artax]], stupid horse!horse!
** Marik laments the vampire's lack of a reflection.
-->'''Marik:''' Dammit, how am I supposed to know if I'm good-looking or not? [[HoYay Bakura, tell me I look sexy!]]
-->'''Bakura:''' (panicked) Guh - no!
-->'''Marik:''' What good are you?!
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-->'''Bakura''': -EvilLaugter-

to:

-->'''Bakura''': -EvilLaugter--EvilLaughter-
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-->'''Marik''': Well I'ma let you finish, but [[KanyeWest Dracula was the greatest vampire of all time!]] OF ALL TIME!

to:

-->'''Marik''': Well I'ma let you finish, but [[KanyeWest Dracula was the greatest vampire of all time!]] OF ALL TIME!TIME!
* In Part 5:
-->'''Marik''': But wait, what am I supposed to do with that dead body I left in the parking lot? Seriously, Bakura, you killed lots of people. Do you have any advice?
-->'''Bakura''': Well, what I usually do is drive out into the desert and I bury them beneath your treehouse.
-->'''Marik''': I thought you said you were building sandcastles.
-->'''Bakura''': No, just sand-mausoleums, I'm afraid.
-->'''Marik''': [[CallBack Is that what happened to]] [[MoralityPet Mr. Tweetums?]]
-->'''Bakura''': -EvilLaugter-
-->'''Marik''': [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]]! Come back Mr. Tweetums! [[CallBack Come back Artax]], stupid horse!
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* The entire battle in the apartment after Marik picks up a stray car stereo. From beating a thug that looks like John Cena to the string of pop culture references and IncrediblyLamePun firing squad when taking out the trash:

to:

* The entire battle in the apartment after Marik picks up a stray car stereo. From beating a thug that looks like John Cena JohnCena to the string of pop culture references and IncrediblyLamePun firing squad when taking out the trash:
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* The entire battle in the apartment after Marik picks up a stray car stereo. From beating a thug that looks like John Cena to the string of pop culture references and IncrediblyLamePun firing squad when taking out the trash:
-->'''Marik''': ''(after wailing on some thugs with a baseball bat)'' Hey, check it out--vampire ''bat''! HA! It's funny because I broke his legs.
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* When he finally gets control for the first time:
-->'''Marik''': Wait, what am I supposed to be doing? So...to summarize, vampires exist, and they like to hold really ineffectual club meetings in theaters under cover of darkness...and most of them live in California--man, these aren't vampires, they're actors who can't get work!
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* "...well it's your own fault becoming a vampire, for wearing your shirt in such a ''douchey'' manner!"

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* "...well you know, it's your own fault becoming for being bitten by a vampire, for wearing because you wore your shirt in such a ''douchey'' manner!"

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* I think we should go with the "sexy" vampire, [[TedBaxter that way I won't have to do much actual roleplaying]].

to:

* I "I think we should go with the "sexy" 'sexy' vampire, [[TedBaxter that way I won't have to do much actual roleplaying]]."
* "...well it's your own fault becoming a vampire, for wearing your shirt in such a ''douchey'' manner!"
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* I think we should go with the "sexy" vampire, [[TedBaxter that way I won't have to do much actual roleplaying]].
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-->'''LaCroix''': If Mister Rodriguez would let me finish...

to:

-->'''LaCroix''': -->'''La Croix''': If Mister Rodriguez would let me finish...
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--> '''Guy''': This is the least accurate production of Hamlet I've ever seen!

to:

--> '''Guy''': This is the least accurate production of Hamlet I've ever seen!seen!
* This bit's hilarious as well
-->'''LaCroix''': If Mister Rodriguez would let me finish...
-->'''Marik''': Well I'ma let you finish, but [[KanyeWest Dracula was the greatest vampire of all time!]] OF ALL TIME!
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--> '''Guy''': This is the worst version of Hamlet I've ever seen!

to:

--> '''Guy''': This is the worst version least accurate production of Hamlet I've ever seen!
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-->'''Marik''': No, [[BodyHorror your penis is poking through your side.]]

to:

-->'''Marik''': No, [[BodyHorror your penis is poking through your side.]]]]
* Marik dubbing over the voices in the execution scene in the theatre
--> '''Guy''': This is the worst version of Hamlet I've ever seen!
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* Foxy boxes...

to:

* Foxy boxes...boxes...
* Mercurio has been wounded and is lying on his couch
-->'''Mercurio''': What is this lump? Is this my rib?!
-->'''Marik''': No thats your penis.
--> '''Mercurio''': My rib is poking through my side!
-->'''Marik''': No, [[BodyHorror your penis is poking through your side.]]
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-->'''Marik''': Hahaha!

to:

-->'''Marik''': Hahaha!Hahaha!
*Foxy boxes...
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-->'''Marik''': Wow, it's nice to see that the vampire society didn't spare me any expense in my accomodations! ''[looking at the [[{{Squick}} stained bedclothes]]]'' And oh hey! My bedclothes are ''covered in urine! they '''shouldn't have!''''' [...] ''[sits at a laptop with a primitive looking command line OS]'' And oh good! My laptop is apparently on loan from the 1980's! ''[muffled]'' "Hello, Mr. Ishtar. [[{{Wargames}} Would you like to play a game?]]" [...] ''[reading an "enlarge your penis" spam e-mail]'' Hey Bakura! I think I got some of YOUR e-mail by mistake!

to:

-->'''Marik''': [[SarcasmMode Wow, it's nice to see that the vampire society didn't spare me any expense in my accomodations! accomodations!]] ''[looking at the [[{{Squick}} stained bedclothes]]]'' And oh hey! My bedclothes are ''covered in urine! they They '''shouldn't have!''''' [...] ''[sits at a laptop with a primitive looking command line OS]'' And oh good! My laptop is apparently on loan from the 1980's! ''[muffled]'' "Hello, Mr. Ishtar. [[{{Wargames}} Would you like to play a game?]]" [...] ''[reading an "enlarge your penis" spam e-mail]'' Hey Bakura! I think I got some of YOUR e-mail by mistake!
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->'''Marik''': Man, I can't believe on my first day as a vampire, [[AccidentalInnuendo I sucked off a hobo!]]
->'''Bakura''': [[EvilLaugh *Laughs*]]
->'''Marik''': What's so funny?!
->'''Bakura''': What you just said.. HAHAHAHA...
->'''Marik''': Ehhh, I don't get it!

to:

->'''Marik''': -->'''Marik''': Man, I can't believe on my first day as a vampire, [[AccidentalInnuendo I sucked off a hobo!]]
->'''Bakura''': -->'''Bakura''': [[EvilLaugh *Laughs*]]
->'''Marik''': -->'''Marik''': What's so funny?!
->'''Bakura''': -->'''Bakura''': What you just said.. HAHAHAHA...
->'''Marik''': -->'''Marik''': Ehhh, I don't get it!



->'''Marik''': Wow, it's nice to see that the vampire society didn't spare me any expense in my accomodations! ''[looking at the [[{{Squick}} stained bedclothes]]]'' And oh hey! My bedclothes are ''covered in urine! they '''shouldn't have!''''' [...] ''[sits at a laptop with a primitive looking command line OS]'' And oh good! My laptop is apparently on loan from the 1980's! ''[muffled]'' "Hello, Mr. Ishtar. [[{{Wargames}} Would you like to play a game?]]" [...] ''[reading an "enlarge your penis" spam e-mail]'' Hey Bakura! I think I got some of YOUR e-mail by mistake!
->'''Bakura''': Piss off, Marik!
->'''Marik''': Hahaha!

to:

->'''Marik''': -->'''Marik''': Wow, it's nice to see that the vampire society didn't spare me any expense in my accomodations! ''[looking at the [[{{Squick}} stained bedclothes]]]'' And oh hey! My bedclothes are ''covered in urine! they '''shouldn't have!''''' [...] ''[sits at a laptop with a primitive looking command line OS]'' And oh good! My laptop is apparently on loan from the 1980's! ''[muffled]'' "Hello, Mr. Ishtar. [[{{Wargames}} Would you like to play a game?]]" [...] ''[reading an "enlarge your penis" spam e-mail]'' Hey Bakura! I think I got some of YOUR e-mail by mistake!
->'''Bakura''': -->'''Bakura''': Piss off, Marik!
->'''Marik''': -->'''Marik''': Hahaha!

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