History Funny / LawAndOrder

* 8x23, "Tabloid," Upon learning that a ImmoralJournalist was shot three times and killed, a group of bystanders break out into [[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing applause.]]

** In the same episode, Jason Bregman's kidnappers reveal that Jason himself was in on it, and they have a videotape to prove it. Jason Bregman was dumb enough to ''stage his own kidnapping.''

* One episode involves Ben Stone attempting to negotiate a favourable plea agreement for a witness who is facing a lengthy federal prison term for serious drug smuggling charges, and the federal prosecutor is reluctant to allow a plea agreement. He eventually concedes to three years on each charge for a total of nine years, which Stone thinks the witness would never go for. Next scene is a meeting between Stone, the witness and his lawyer, where the witness smugly says he'll testify, but only if Stone gets him a deal of... three years for each charge, nine years total. Stone somehow manages to keep a straight face.
** It gets better; in order to make it look convincing, Stone claims that he'll have to talk to the federal prosecutor and it won't be easy. Cut to Stone and Robinette... enjoying a coffee break and letting the witness sweat a bit. And then when they're done Stone walks back into his office with the most hilariously convincing and serious "I've just had to bust my balls and you better be grateful" look on his face.

* In one later season episode, the cops find that a victim's body has been cremated and his ashes have been incorporated into an artificial gem. Desperately, they go to TheCoroner and ask if there is anything she can tell from it. At that, she holds the gem and wryly notes, "Well, he has many facets."

* 4x12, "Snatched": After dealing with nearly a whole episode's worth of witnesses [[BeAsUnhelpfulAsPossible completely unable to describe one suspect]], Lennie and Mike Logan are questioning an old black couple. The wife can't describe the suspect either and both detectives are nearly at wit's end... when she reveals she did neighborhood watch training and instead has the suspect's license plate number, which is ''much'' more useful.

--> '''Judge''': "Bail's set at a million dollars."
--> '''Richard Billings: ''(to Jamie)'' "A million bucks? He must like the cut of your skirt."
--> '''Jamie''': ''(deadpan)'' "From what I hear, he'd prefer yours."

'''Briscoe:''' ''[Clearly with no intention of helping out]'' That's fascinating. I think you missed a spot.

-->Stone opens it up and pulls out an assortment of kink gear.
-->'''Ben Stone''': (deadpan) What were you hoping ''for''?
-->Fade to black.

* 1x21, "Sonata For a Solo Organ" has this gold-nugget dropped from Max: "The Garbage has constitutional rights?"

--> '''Mike, to the husband''': Can I hug her?

-->''*They turn to leave*''

** After dealing with nearly a whole episode's worth of witnesses [[BeAsUnhelpfulAsPossible completely unable to describe one suspect]], Lennie and Mike Logan are questioning an old black couple. The wife can't describe the suspect either and both detectives are nearly at wit's end... when she reveals she did neighborhood watch training and instead has the suspect's license plate number, which is ''much'' more useful.
--> '''Mike, to the husband''': Can I hug her?

* 4x01, "Sweeps": Ben Stone is debating with the defense attorney; she is angry because he's trying to have information presented in the courtroom that she thinks is confidential.

* Season 8, Episode 1, "Thrill": A pair of teenagers kill a delivery driver, yet are covering themselves by pointing the finger at one another. The law seems to be protecting them, to Adam Schiff's frustration.

* Season 8, Episode 8 "Shadows": When it appears that a random guy is about to make a call on a pay phone he and Curtis are staking out, Briscoe gets him off it by pretending to be a drunk who misidentifies and manhandles him.

* In "True North" (Season 9, episode 9), Briscoe and Curtis confront a guy in his apartment and find about a half-kilo of coke. Later on, talking Carmichael and [=McCoy=], the guy denies he's a drug dealer. Carmichael says, "Right, you just collect rare cocaine."

* From Season 10, Episode 9 "Sundown":

* Season 11, Episode 13, "Phobia": A man has been murdered, his baby kidnapped, a ransom demand phoned in. The cops follow a bike messenger and then rush in, grabbing the messenger and the man he's giving the ransom to. Turns out the ransomer had already left and it was just a random guy. His wife comes out of the coffee shop holding a pair of lattes and sees him handcuffed and surrounded by cops, guns drawn. "I told you not to double park."

* Season 13 Episode 23--Couples--- is a marching band of black comedy moments:

* 14x09 "Compassion": During a discussion with a laboratory doctor, he picks up a test rabbit and moves it to another cage. Ed Green then sticks his finger through the bars to try and pet the rabbit and the doctor slaps his hand to stop him while continuing to talk as though nothing is happening.
* Season 14, Episode 1 ("Bodies"): a legal aid defense attorney takes on a serial killer, and DA Branch has a... less than favorable opinion of him.

* In Season 14, Episode 19, "Nowhere Man", A DA who was being blackmailed into clearing a pair of mobsters because he wasn't who he claimed to be was murdered, but left a work permit in the file. The permit was a clue to the murderers, whose alibi was that they were on a construction jobsite. A blend of RefugeInAudacity and TooDumbToLive, because they hid the body of the victim the DA was investigating inside the concrete they were pouring for the job.

* In "Ain't No Love" (Season 15, episode 13), a CD is one of the early pieces of evidence. Fontana and Green give it to CSU and CSU officer Beck classifies the music before playing it for them. The only thing funnier than Fontana's reaction to gangster rap is Green's reaction to his partner's obvious disdain.

* Season 18. Episode 11, "Betrayed": Fueled by a dose of MoodWhiplash. Ed 'reads' a suspect her medical record, causing her to freak out and confess to the murder. When confronted by Lt. Van Buren that reading her medical file was illegal, Ed reveals the 'file' to be a signup sheet for a blood drive, a sketch for the suspect of a peeping case and take-out menus.

* Pretty much the entire first third of "Rapture" (Season 19, episode 14), which involves Bernard, Lupo and Van Buren investigating a murder confession in an email supposedly triggered by the Rapture. Yeah, [[CaughtUpInTheRapture that rapture.]] Despite the fact that it's a homicide investigation, the detectives at some points visibly struggle to keep a straight face while dealing with a suspect who's bewildered the Rapture apparently ''hasn't'' happened. One exchange while Bernard interrogates one of the suspects:

* From Season 20, episode 4, "Reality Bites":

* 4x01, Sweeps: Ben Stone is debating with the defense attorney; she is angry because he's trying to have information presented in the courtroom that she thinks is confidential.

* 4x17, Mayhem, has a scene where Mike Logan and Lennie Briscoe run from their current crime scene to the basement, following a woman's screams. In the basement laundry room they meet the very high Omar Cabases, who is brandishing an indeterminate object at them.

* 4x16, "Big Bang": the murder has to do with theories in physics. When Schiff asks what they're talking about, Kincaid tells him it has to do with the idea that "protons eventually fall apart." Schiff looks at her and asks, "Is this something I need to be ''worried'' about?"

* Season 6, Episode 11, "Corpus Delicti": Jack deliberately disobeys a judge so as to provoke a mistrial. The case was highly circumstantial and he didn't want the suspect to walk. A few weeks later, physical evidence turns up, allowing Jack to try the case successfully. Of course, if the defense can prove he deliberately provoked a mistrial for this purpose, he could be disbarred. Deadpan, Jack says, "It wasn't like that at all. You know how emotional I get."
** From the same episode: Lennie's inspired impersonation of Series/MisterEd.
* Season 6 episode "Hot Pursuit" has Briscoe and Curtis searching for a man and woman who killed several people in a short time frame. Upon being called to a corner store with two individuals resembling the couple, they find a couple...of frightened, Catholic school uniform-clad preteens who were detained by the cashier for stealing disposable cameras. The detectives were not pleased:

* Season 7, Episode 7 ("Deadbeat"): Lennie getting hit on by an old woman. Curtis points out the woman's attraction as they leave. Lennie states that he should play his cards right.
* 7x19: "Double Down": A defendant tries to hide behind a deal he forced [=McCoy=] to take, but when [=McCoy=] found the deal was a trick the whole time, he tries to circumvent the deal while keeping the information the defendant gave him. During an evidentiary hearing, Curtis was asked why [=McCoy=] didn't realize that the defendant's partner was killed by the defendant, despite it being the logical explanation for a district attorney to come up with. Curtis's reply was "For a cop? Sure. For a DA? I've found sometimes they're not all that bright." Even [=McCoy=] was amused at this backhanded reply. When the hearing leads to allowing the defendant to be tried, Curtis asks [=McCoy=], "What would have happened if I had told them you told us to shut up?" [=McCoy's=] reply: "It would have hurt. Hey, look at it this way. At least you got to duck the question by calling me an idiot." Curtis grinned. "Yeah. There is that."
* In "Corruption", where Jamie Ross and a few other detectives investigate a cop's locker, Jamie finds a lingerie catalog, and correctly deduces that a certain code on the catalog means that the cop has ordered from the company multiple times. When the detective suspiciously remarks that Jamie knows so much about the catalog, she points to a certain page - presumably with a scantily dressed model - and says, "I'm wearing '''this''' right now." Cue detective's shocked expression.

* Season 1 Episode 21 - Sonata For a Solo Organ has this gold-nugget dropped from Max: "The Garbage has constitutional rights?"
* From Season 1, Episode 17, "The Secret Sharers"
--> '''Shambala Green''': I'm going for temporary insanity.
--> '''[[DeadpanSnarker Ben Stone]]''': Yours or your client's?
* Season 1, Episode 6, "Everybody's Favorite Bagman": A suspect is fleeing down an alleyway, with Greevey in pursuit. Logan is lying in wait around the corner, gun drawn, but reconsiders. He holsters the gun and clotheslines the suspect with a trash can lid instead.
* "Prisoner of Love" involves BDSM. At one point in the episode, Ben Stone searches a suspect's home to find evidence she was involved, and comes across a chest at the foot of her bed.

-->'''Stone''': (deadpan) What were you hoping ''for''?

* Season 2 Episode 8 has a good one from a college student. Mike Logan asks a question which is quite offensive and the rebuttal of the student is simple brilliant. "Does they give you guys insensitivity-seminars?" Before she continues to explain.
* A judge gets one during the filing of an indictment in "Star-Struck".

* A slightly morbid example in "Cradle to Grave" 2x18. A horrid landlady blames the rent laws for her pushing out tenants, leading to the death of a 10-month-old baby. She then starts heavily implying that an important witness will soon change his mind, to Stone's utter disbelief... with her lawyer trying to get her out of the room and shut her up while saying none of it counts. It's better watched.

* Season 3, episode 10, "Consultation": Briscoe and Logan are questioning a Nigerian immigrant, who begs them not to "flog" him. Briscoe can see the guy is terrified and will tell them whatever they want to know, so he threateningly says, "Okay, we won't flog you... ''this'' time."

* 4x01, Sweeps: Ben Stone is debating with the defense attorney; she is angry because he's trying to have information presented in the courtroom that she thinks is confidential
--> '''Attorney''': This procedure is ourageous! I don't know how you can still look into a mirror.
--> '''Ben''': I'm a Catholic; I can feel guilty about ''anything''.

* In "Big Bang" (Season 4, episode 16), the murder has to do with theories in physics. When Schiff asks what they're talking about, Kincaid tells him it has to do with the idea that "protons eventually fall apart." Schiff looks at her and asks, "Is this something I need to be ''worried'' about?"

* The police finally track down a kidnap victim and her kidnapper to their location. They knock on the door, announce themselves as the police, and prepare for resistance... only for the kidnapper, on seeing them, to yell "Thank God! This way!" and run back into the house. Turns out the kidnap victim has gone into labor.