History Funny / LawAndOrder

---> '''ADA Jack [=McCoy=]''': I'm playing legal tiddlywinks with them, when [[CoolAndUnusualPunishment I'd prefer to take them out to Battery Park and hang them by the scrotum.]]

---> '''ADA Jack [=McCoy=]''': BeavisAndButthead.

* Season 1, Episode 6, "Everybody's Favorite Bagman": A suspect is fleeing down an alleyway, with Greevey in pursuit. Logan is lying in wait around the corner, gun drawn, but reconsiders. He holsters the gun and clotheslines the suspect with a trash can lid instead.

---> '''Det. Green''': [[{{Mook}} Biscuits and Books.]] Those dumb bastards.

* In Season 14, Episode 19, "Nowhere Man", A DA who was being blackmailed into clearing a pair of mobsters because he wasn't who he claimed to be was murdered, but left a work permit in the file. The permit was a clue to the murderers, whose alibi was that they were on a construction jobsite. A blend of RefugeInAudacity and TooDumbToLive, because they hid the body inside the concrete they were pouring for the job.

--> '''[[DeadpanSnarker Ben Stone]]''': Yours or your client's?

--> '''Connie Rubirosa''': I don't care, I'd be better off in prison!

* Season 2 Episode 8 has a good one from a college student. Mike Logan asks a question which is quite offensive and the rebuttal of the student is simple brilliant. "Does they give you guys insensitivity-seninars?" Before she continues to explain,. This trooper simply loved that putdown.

** From the same episode: Lennie's inspired impersonation of MisterEd.

* 4x17, Mayhem, has a scene where Mike Logan and Lennie Briscoe run from their current crime scene to the basement when a woman is screaming there. In the basement laundry room they meet the very high Omar Cabases, who is brandishing an indeterminate object at them.

--> '''Mike''': Put the burrito down senor.

* From Season 10, Episode 9 "Sundown"

* From Season 20, episode 4, "Reality Bites"

--> '''Connie Rubirosa''': I am going to kill you, and then, I'm gonna kill McCoy.

* A slightly morbid example in "Cradle to Grave" 2x18. A horrid landlady is complaining about the rent laws begin responsible for her pushing out tenants leading to the death of a 10-month-old baby. She then start heavily implying that an important witness will change his mind to Stone's utter disbelief...with her lawyer trying to get her out of the room and to shut her up while saying none it counts. It's better watched.
** When getting evidence with Robinette the cop's undercover cop gets stuck in traffic and with time running short Logan gets Robinette to change jackets with him (The man had already seen the cops). After Robinette gets the evidence Logan immediately demands his jacket back.

* Season 18. Episode 11, "Betrayed": Fueled by a dose of MoodWhiplash. Ed 'reads' a suspect her medical record, causing her to freak out and confess to the murder of the suspect. When confronted by Lt. Van Buren that reading her medical file was illegal, Ed reveals the 'file' to be a signup sheet for a blood drive, a sketch for the suspect of a peeping case and take-out menus.

--> ''Connie Rubirosa''': What?

--> ''Connie Rubirosa''': I am going to kill you, and then, I'm gonna kill McCoy.

--> ''Connie Rubirosa''': I don't care, I'd be better off in prison!

--> '''Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers''': Free javelins.

** The arraignment sequence in this episode is something that must be seen to be believed as it stacks multiple defendants in sequence, with the judge's reactions and two of them staging their own hijinks.

* 4x17, Mayhem, has a scene where Mike Logan and Lennie Briscoe run to the basement when a woman is screaming there after discovering their suspect has just been shot dead in his apartment. There, they meet the very high Omar Cabases, brandishing an indeterminate object at them.

--> '''Mike, to the husband''': Can I hug her?

* 7x19: "Double Down": A defendant tries to hide behind a deal he forced McCoy to take, but when McCoy found the deal was a trick the whole time, he tries to circumvent the deal while keeping the information the defendant gave him. During an evidentiary hearing, Curtis was asked why McCoy didn't realize that the defendant's partner was killed by the defendant, despite it being the logical explanation for a district attorney to come up with. Curtis's reply was "For a cop? Sure. For a DA? I've found sometimes they're not all that bright." Even McCoy was amused at this backhanded reply. When the hearing leads to allowing the defendant to be tried, Curtis asks McCoy, "What would have happened if I had told them you told us to shut up?" McCoy's reply: "It would have hurt. Hey, look at it this way. At least you got to duck the question by calling me an idiot." Curtis grinned. "Yeah. There is that."

** When getting evidence with Robinette the cop's undercover cop gets stuck in traffic and with time running short Logan gets Robinette to change jackets with him (The man had already seen the cops). After Robinette gets the evidence Logan immediately demands his jacket back.

* Season 14, Episode 1 ("Bodies"): a legal aid defense attorney takes on a serial killer, and DA Branch has a... [[UnderStatement less than favorable opinion of him.]]

* A slightly morbid example in "Cradle to Grave" 2x18. A horrid landlady is complaining about the rent laws begin responsible for her pushing out tenants leading to the dead of a 10-month-old baby. She then start heaverly implying that an important witness will change his mind to Stone's utter disbelief...with her lawyer trying to get her out of the room and to shut her up while saying none it counts. It's better watched.

* 7x19: "Double Down": A defendant tries to hide behind a deal he forced McCoy to take, but when McCoy found the deal was a trick the whole time, he tries to circumvent the deal while keeping the information the defendant gave him. During an evidentiary hearing, Curtis was asked why McCoy didn't realize that the defendant's partner was killed by the defendant, despite it being the logical explanation for a district attorney to come up with. Curtis's reply was "For a cop? Sure. For a DA? I've found sometimes they're not all that bright." Even McCoy was amused at this backhanded reply. When the hearing leads to allowing the defendant to be tried, Curtis asks McCoy, "What would have happened if I had told them you told us to shut up?" McCoy's reply: "It would have hurt. Hey, look at it this way. At least you got to duck the question by calling me an idiot." Curtis grinned. "Yeah. There is that."

-->'''Arthur''': Ok, what's dumber than stupid?

* 14x09 "Compassion": During a discussion with a laboratory doctor, he picks up a test rabbit and moves it to another cage. Ed Green then sticks his finger through the bars to try and pet the rabbit and the doctor slaps his hand to stop him while continuing to talk as though nothing is happening.

'''Briscoe:''' ''[Clearly with no intention of helping out]'' That's fascinating. I think you missed a spot.

* Season 7, Episode 7 ("Deadbeat"): Lennie getting hit on by an old woman. Curtis points out the woman's attraction as they leave. Lennie states that he should play his cards right.

* Season 10. Briscoe. "If I was kidding you, I'd be wearing a fez and no pants."

* In one later season episode, the cops find that a victim's body has been cremated and his ashes have been incorporated into an artificial gem. Desperately, they go to TheCoroner and ask if there is anything she can tell from it. At that, she holds the gem and wryly notes, "Well, he has many facets."

* Season 18. Episode 11, "Betrayed": Fueled by a dose of MoodWhiplash. Ed 'reads' a suspect her medical record, causing her to freak out and confess to the murder of the suspect. When confronted by Lt. Van Buren that reading her medical file was illegal, Ed reveals the 'file' to be a signup sheet for a blood drive, a sketch for the suspect of a peeping case and take-out menus.