History Funny / GoldenEye

-->'''Q''': Need I remind you, 007, that you have a licence to kill, not to break the traffic laws.[[note]]The French dub has Q admonish him with "not to drive the wrong way on the highway."[[/note]]

-->'''Q''': Three clicks ''(clicks the pen thrice)'' arms the device, another three ''(does so)'' disarms it.\\

-->'''Q:''' Don't say it...\\

-->'''Q''': Don't touch that!\\

-->'''Bond''': ''[[FlatWhat Muffy?]]''\\

--> '''Wade''': Wanna hand me that hammer, there, Jimbo... ''(Bond reaches for a ballpene hammer)'' No, the bigger one, the sledge.

--> '''Valentin:''' My knee....aches every single day. Twice as bad when it is cold. Do you have any idea how long the winter lasts in this country? Tell him, Dmitri.
--> '''Dmitri:''' Well, it depends--
--> '''Valentin:''' SILENCE!

-->''James Bond. Charming, sophisticated secret agent. "Shaken, but not stirred." Ha ha!''

-->''For an ex-KGB agent you surprise me, Valentin. I'm sure someone of your stature must have realised that the skill was not to hit your knee but, uh... miss the rest of you.''

--> '''Bond''': Standard operating procedure. [[IronicEcho Boys with toys.]]
--> '''Natalya''': Maybe ''I'' should take care of transportation for our trip to Cuba.
--> '''Bond''': Uh uh... [DoubleTake] ''Our'' trip?

--> '''Natalya''': What ''is'' it with you and moving vehicles?

* Natalya [[KickTheSonOfABitch utterly beating the shit out of Boris]] in the control room. Even Trevelyan smirks.

** Similarly, Bond's sauna encounter with Xenia strikes a good balance between sex, action, humour and slight hints of NightmareFuel; for all that it is a pretty solid fight - with Xenia shrugging off Bond's attempts at escape - and that it is both sexy and slightly nightmarish because of Xenia's killing method, there is something funny about elements of it, including Bond's eventual method of escape... And the fact that Creator/PierceBrosnan's '[[NarmCharm pain]][[MemeticMutation face]]' is on full display when he's at Xenia's mercy.
*** And then there's the poor fool who ([[AmbiguousSituation apparently]]) misunderstands the situation and charges at Bond, only to get a face full of bucket.
*** Perhaps funniest is the commentary track; director Creator/MartinCampbell thoughtfully remarks on the set and the use of doubles, but as Xenia snatches Bond up to crush him on the bench jovially states he knows people who've paid money to have it done ''rather like that''; even more hilariously, this is TruthInTelevision as there are a number of reenactments and homages to Xenia starring fetish models and the like, paid for by fans from that community.

--->'''"Mission Failure: Unacceptable non-military casualties!"'''

--->'''"Mission Failed: Unacceptable non-military casualties!"'''

* This exchange, referencing when Natalya was held at gunpoint on the train:\\
''[Alec threatens James with a gun after it's discovered Natalya had reprogrammed the Goldeneye satellite.]''\\
-->'''Natalya:''' Go ahead. Shoot him. [[IronicEcho He means nothing to me]].\\
-->'''James:''' ''[Gives an expression that screams "Well, I deserved that one..."]''

'''Natalya:''' Go ahead. Shoot him. [[IronicEcho He means nothing to me]].\\
'''James:''' ''[Gives an expression that reads, "Well, I deserved that one..."]''

'''Alec Trevelyan:''' Do it!\\

* Bond's new car has stinger missiles housed behind the headlights, to which Bond muses, "Just the thing to unwind after a long day at the office."
-->'''Q''': Need I remind you, 007, that you have a licence to kill, not to break the traffic laws.
** In French he specifies: "Not to drive the wrong way on the highway."
* Q shows off the exploding pen grenade:

** Let's not forget the FunnyBackgroundEvent, where an assistant enters a phone box while 007 and Q are discussing one of the gadgets, only to be shoved against the side by an airbag once he picks up the phone. The box is later wheeled off, with the assistant still trapped inside.
* One for Q as he notices Bond inspecting a large sandwich:

* [[TemptingFate "YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!"]]...followed by tanks of liquid nitrogen exploding and turning him into a HumanPopsicle.

-->'''Q''': Need I remind you, 007, that you have a license to kill, not to break the traffic laws.

* "YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!"...followed by tanks of liquid nitrogen exploding and turning him into a HumanPopsicle.

* "YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!" [[spoiler:Cue liquid nitrogen tanks exploding and freezing Boris solid.]]

* Moments after shooting Alec in the head, Ourumov repeats his order for Bond to surrender, as if he expects Bond to give up moments after Ouromov demonstrated he had no intention of sparing them.

* The [[EyeTake perplexed look on Ourumov's face]] after Xenia has [[ImmodestOrgasm way too much fun]] killing the staff of Severnaya, which seems to say, "Really? Trevelyan has me ''allied'' with this sociopath?!"

** "Who's strangling the cat?"

** Gets even better when you consider that Creator/MinnieDriver, who plays Irina, can actually sing.

** Similarly, Bond's sauna encounter with Xenia strikes a good balance between sex, action, humour and slight hints of NightmareFuel; for all that it is a pretty solid fight - with Xenia shrugging off Bond's attempts at escape - and that it is both sexy and slightly nightmarish because of Xenia's killing method, there is something funny about elements of it, including Bond's eventual method of escape... And the fact that Brosnan's '[[NarmCharm pain]][[MemeticMutation face]]' is on full display when he's at Xenia's mercy.

*** Perhaps funniest is the commentary track; director Martin Campbell thoughtfully remarks on the set and the use of doubles, but as Xenia snatches Bond up to crush him on the bench jovially states he knows people who've paid money to have it done ''rather like that''; even more hilariously, this is TruthInTelevision as there are a number of reenactments and homages to Xenia starring fetish models and the like, paid for by fans from that community.

* Natalya asks Bond if he destroys every vehicle he gets into. Not a silly questions since at that point she's witnessed the destruction of a military helicopter, a tank and a heavily armoured train.

* And then after they almost get landed on by a plane:

* "YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!" [[spoiler:Cue liquid nitrogen tanks exploding and freezing Boris solid.]]

* Bond dropping in on the guard in the bathroom: "Beg your pardon. Forgot to knock." ''[punches the guard out cold]''

* "YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!" [[spoiler:Cue liquid nitrogen tanks exploding and turning Boris into a HumanPopsicle.]]

--> '''Valentin:''' My knee....aches every day. Twice as bad when it's cold. Do you know how long winters last here? Tell him, Dmitri.

-->'''M:''' [[TakeThat Unlike the Americans, we prefer not to get our bad news from]] Creator/{{CNN}}.

* Natalya asks Bond if he meant it when he told Alec to kill her, and that she meant nothing to him.
-->'''Bond''': [[BluntYes Yes.]] Basic rule. Always call their bluff. ''[starts laughing, Natalya whacks him with a pillow]''