History Funny / DickFigures

* Red in general. He's such a LovetoHate asshole that everything that comes out of his mouth is usually comedy gold.

-->''(...[[EroticEating she slowly puts it in her ear]]...)''

-->'''Red''': L O A F.

-->'''Stacy''': Oh, hi dad. ''(she grabs a candlestick...)''

-->''(...she vigorously eats it...)''

-->''(Red beats Stacy to death)''

-->'''Red''': Oh, yeah, let's go eat some chips in BLUE'S bed!

* Red literally scaring the shit out of Blue in ''Cannibalism Marks the Spot.''

* Red's reaction to using up 99% of the internet to find the perfect sandwich.

** His debut appearance in "Role Players". It leads to Red chopping his penis off.

* In "Happy Birthday", eating terrible Mexican food leaves Red and Blue having to take a massive crap. After finally getting home to poop, they're greeted with a surprise party and end up [[BringMyBrownPants making a human centipede].

* In "Happy Birthdump", eating terrible Mexican food leaves Red and Blue having to take a massive crap. After finally getting home to poop, they're greeted with a surprise party and end up [[BringMyBrownPants going in their pants]].

-->''(...[[EroticEating she slowly puts it in her mouth]]...)''

-->'''Red''': THE WHOLE LOAF.

-->'''Stacy''': Oh, BABY. ''(she grabs a candlestick...)''

-->''(...she vigorously licks it...)''

-->''(Red and Stacy proceed to embrace and make out all over the table)''

-->'''Red''': Oh, yeah, let's go have sex in BLUE'S bed!

* Red literally scaring the shit out of Blue in ''Sex Marks the Spot.''

* Red's reaction to using up 99% of the internet to find the perfect boobs.

** His debut appearance in "Role Playas". It leads to Red chopping his head off.

* Red in general. He's such a LovetoHate asshole who becomes crazier and crazier each season. Everything that comes out of his mouth is usually comedy gold.

* Red in general. He's such a LovetoHate asshole. Everyone has a friend like Red, so it makes funny because it's true. But the fact he becomes crazier and crazier each season just makes him a quotable, scene stealing, joy of a watch.

* Red in general. He's such a LovetoHate, scene stealing, asshole. That everything coming out of his mouth is just gold. Espically with how he becomes crazier and crazier each season.

* In "Happy Birthdump", eating terrible Mexican food leaves Red and Blue having to take a massive crap. After finally getting home to poop, they're greeted with a surprise party and end up [[BringMyBrownPants going in their pants]].

* "Boom, headshot! Killing spree! Death riot! Killtacular! I'm Batman!"

-->''(...[[FreudWasRight she vigorously licks it]]...)''

-->'''Racoon:''' (clearly offended) [[FlatWhat What]].

-->''(Red and Stacey begin looking seductively at each other. He opens up the oyster...)''

-->''(Stacey slowly pulls out an entire loaf of bread...)''

-->'''Stacey''': Oh, BABY. ''(she grabs a candlestick...)''

-->''(...and then blows it out, causing some nearby flowers to catch fire randomly)''

-->''(Red and Stacey proceed to embrace and make out all over the table)''

-->'''Stacey''': OH, TAKE ME HOOME!!!!!

* "#''Pizza, pizza, mo meatsa, banana fana fo''#CANNIBALISM."

'''Red:''' Dude, everyone here is poor!

'''Red:''' Dude, everyone here is poor!
* Basically every single joke in {{The Movie}} was funny, but this scene was especially funny:
-->'''Blue:''' I'M a loser?! I once caught you masturbating to {{Animal Planet}}!
-->'''Red:''' That was ONE TIME! You're just racist against elephants!
* Red ''actually does something nice'' for Blue at the end of the movie, saying it's for his friend.
-->'''Blue:''' ([[DeadpanSnarker utterly deadpan]]) "I must be dead."
* In {{The Movie}}, when it it revealed that [[spoiler: [[DramaticUnmask Lord Takagami is the Raccoon's father]] ]], The Raccoon immediately has a flashback from his childhood
-->Father-San/[[spoiler:Lord Takagami]]: If you ever want to fight evil, you MUST keep your elbows straight!
-->Raccoon: Father! One day, I want to go to America!
-->Father-San/[[spoiler:Lord Takagami]]: [[LampshadeHanging That is NOT a country yet!]]

-->'''Blue:''' ([[DeadpanSnarker utterly deadpan]]) "I must be dead."

-->'''Blue:''' Konichiwa.

-->'''Red:''' That was ONE TIME! You're just racist against elephants!

* "#''Pizza, pizza, mo meatsa, banana fana fo''#CANNIBALISM."

-->''Pink:'' I didn't know you speak French. That's so cultural.
-->''Blue:'' Konichiwa.
-->''Racoon:'' (clearly offended) [[FlatWhat What]].

* Lord Tourettes. Just Tourettes. Especially his story in Bros Night.

-->"''Only'' 99%?!"

* "WAIT I CAN'T FLY" (cut to outro)