History Funny / CriticalRoleMarchOfTheRedMoon

'''Campaign 3 (Bell's Hells)''': [[Funny/CriticalRoleShadesOfBlack 1-22]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleTheSandsAndTheBoughs 23-38]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleApproachingApogee 39-51]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleScattered 52-64]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleElementsOfChaos 65-80]] | '''81-'''\\

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Episode 95: Gathering of Needs]]
* Just like the Mighty Nein, Bell's Hells immediately get way too personal with Essek, asking him where he's from and what he did to become a fugitive of the Dynasty before asking Astrid a single question.
-->'''Essek:''' ''(annoyed)'' I am not the target of this interrogation.
** The reason they know Essek is a fugitive is because Astrid brought it up. As soon as Laudna starts to pry, Essek shoots a DeathGlare at Astrid, who just gives him a shit-eating grin back.
** Fearne comments on the fact that Essek floats, only for Matt to realize that he ''wouldn't'' be floating because there's still an Antimagic Field in the room. She then corrects it to saying that Essek just has a floaty vibe, while Liam - in his Caleb voice - tells the room that Essek is super short when he's not floating.
** The Hells roll high on a group Persuasion check.
--->'''Matt:''' For all the goofiness that you sometimes present...\\
''(everyone starts snickering)''\\
'''Travis:''' "Sometimes."
** Before the Hells leave, Chetney gives Astrid a parting gift: a small wooden disk with the phrase "Farts are funny" carved into it. She looks ''profoundly'' unimpressed.
--->'''Astrid:''' [[SarcasmMode I will treasure it always]].
*** Right after this, Chetney asks if she has any questions for them, since they've been to the moon. She looks down at the coin, then at Essek (who just shrugs), then says "Sure", clearly not believing a single word.
* On their way out of Chastity's Nook, Chetney buys a copy of Tusk Love. The asking price is 1 gold and 5 silver, but he pays two gold. Imogen immediately asks if the owner can throw in another book for that price.
-->'''Travis:''' Laura Bailey, shining through.\\
'''Laura/Imogen:''' You don't give a tip on a ''book!''\\
'''Travis/Chetney:''' Do you have some erasers you can throw in? Some paperclips?\\
'''Robbie/Dorian:''' Oh, that's a book, it's called "Just The Tip", right here!
** Fearne asks if the owner has any porn books with pictures.
--->'''Travis:''' Fearne has never seen porn.
* The longer the group take to buy some books, the more irritated "Seth" gets. With Matt describing him impatiently tapping his foot at the doorway, and Fearne apologizes for the delay.
* Both Fearne and Imogen roll natural 20s during the buying of porn books. Marisha points out how hilarious it would be if they roll nat 1s on very important checks later, having blown all their good rolls on buying pornography.
* While discussing what they need to buy in Zadash, Ashton lists "group therapy" among their needed supplies.
** Ashton also apologizes to the group and says that they're probably going to need to have a shopping episode, followed by Taliesin clarifying that that was 100% in character.
--->'''Ashton:''' I phased out and there was this magical fourth wall for a second, I don't know what it... ''(stares into the camera)'' God, I can see you all!
* Dorian decides to back-seat a crafter to help put a new outfit for him together. He even offers a drawing of himself for reference, which is crudely drawn like a young child's work. The worker stares a bit too long and thinks just as long for a descriptor word for Dorian.
--> '''Worker:''' An impressive piece of.. ''amateur'' work.
* Bell's Hells meet Pumat, or rather, his three simulacra, since Pumat Prime is out. The players are delighted, the characters (plus Robbie) are ''deeply'' confused.
-->'''Ashton:''' This is what the inside of my head is like ''all the time'' right now. [[SirSwearsALot But with more swearing]].
** The Hells realize the Pumats are created using the same spell that created "Snow-dinus" from episode 75.
--->'''Laudna:''' Are you made of snow?!\\
'''Pumat-2:''' Technically... Yeah.\\
'''Laudna:''' ''(gasps)''\\
'''Pumat-2:''' Well, as part of the initial enchantment process, and should any of us be disenchanted or destroyed we would probably return to snow, but that's not a thing we like to think about often, because it sends us into an existential spiral, and that's a real dark place to go for things that were created and crafted from nothing and will return to the nothing... ''(brief ThousandYardStare)'' Anyway!\\
'''Pumat-3:''' Were we the first...?\\
'''Pumat-2:''' I don't know, Pumat... I don't know how many Pumats there've been...\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Pumat-3:''' ANYWAY!
** While examining the Ruidian blade, Pumat-1 tries to pull in Pumat-2 for a second opinion, but realizes mid-sentence that that won't help since they're the same person.
** Laudna pulls out a fan for dramatic effect, only to learn it apparently also says "Hot Boi" in-universe.
* Imogen abruptly realizes that the fact that the moon is no longer visible from over Wildemount would have been perfect proof for F.C.G. that Exandria isn't flat. Ashton morosely points out that F.C.G. had already graduated to "pancake theory" (Exandria is flat, but both sides are inhabited).
* Chetney buys a magical harp from Pumat's, which functions as a shortbow and imbues anyone with the ability to play it. The rest of the Hells immediately demand a performance.
-->'''Ashton:''' Do you know [[Music/LedZeppelin Stairway to the Astral Realm]]?
* Liam asks if Essek is floating, but Matt says he's not, because he's in disguise as Seth. Liam then gets upset because "I want him to float and I want him to be purple", while Matt argues back that the Hells don't know Essek can float yet. This then leads into a conversation about how skinny Essek's legs would be if he never walks, and the mental image of Essek doing squats to build up leg muscle whenever he's alone.
* Essek does not feel like bunking up with the Hells, and tries to separate from them as soon as they arrive at the tavern. Imogen tries to convince him, but he is resistant... until a burlesque show starts up on the main stage, at which point Essek says he'd actually ''love'' to head upstairs immediately. Unfortunately for him, everyone except Imogen immediately runs off to see the burlesque show instead.
** A few patrons are talking during the show, so Laudna whirls around to them and hisses at them to appreciate the performance, while using Unsettling Presence. One man immediately jumps up and runs out of the tavern [[BringMyBrownPants while holding the back of his pants]].
** Dorian is cheerfully clapping along to the music and looking back to Chetney excitedly to see his reaction. Chetney somehow got a baguette and some wine as he watches the show.
* During the burlesque show, the emcee announces "Madame Feathered-Face" from Hupperdook. The cast immediately assumes it's an adult Kiri.
-->'''Matt:''' ''(exasperated)'' Not everything is connected!\\
'''Robbie:''' Everything is a cameo!
* Fearne asks Ashton if she can have his old belt to add to her outfit. Ashton gives it to her, on the condition that she gives him something too. Fearne asks him what he wants... but Ashton tells her that he'll just steal it from her later.
** True to form, nearly an hour later, Ashton spontaneously goes in for a hug.
--->'''Fearne:''' Look at you, you're a little pink in the cheeks!\\
'''Ashton:''' A little bit. [[BrickJoke Sleight of hand check]].
** Ashton's Sleight of Hand ''narrowly'' beats Fearne's Perception, and they end up tearing off a large chunk of lace. Fearne hears the tearing, and turns around faster to help them rip it.
* Near the end of Essek's conversation with Ashton, Chetney bursts into the room yelling that Madame Feathered-Face gave him a feather.
-->'''Dorian:''' I told him she probably gives a feather to everyone at every show but he won't listen!\\
'''Chetney:''' The goddess! She noticed me!\\
'''Imogen:''' ''(dryly)'' He's a special boy.\\
'''Fearne:''' Yeah, it's just for you, Chet.\\
'''Ashton:''' Your hayfever is gonna kick in any second.\\
'''Chetney:''' ''(holds it out to Dorian)'' Smell it!\\
'''Dorian:''' I've smelt it three times already!\\
'''Fearne:''' What's it smell like?\\
'''Dorian:''' ''A feather!'' What do you want me to say, cloaca?!
* Essek is amazed at Ashton's dunamantic rage abilities... the first two times. The third time, he just tells them to stop showing off.
* Essek admits that he is partially responsible for Ashton's dunamantic brain.
-->'''Imogen:''' You're kinda like his dad.\\
'''Ashton:''' No you are ''not.''\\
'''Essek:''' Oh, do not put that on me, please.
* Essek's description of Caleb is incredibly heartwarming, but does not entirely match with his actual stats.
-->'''Essek:''' ''(wistfully)'' He is kind, he is smart... he is ''so strong''.\\
'''Liam:''' ''(makes a so-so hand motion)'' [[SquishyWizard Eh]].\\
'''Essek:''' ...of heart.
* As Essek leaves the room, the Hells finally catch him floating. Imogen immediately gets jealous and casts Fly on herself, and spends a while just floating around the room. Noticing this, a drunk Dorian also casts Fly on Chetney and sends the gnome screaming into the air.
* Laudna starts to panic a bit about not getting everyone's clothes finished on time. Marisha compares it to the night before [=ComicCon=]. Later on, Marisha admits that Laudna's projects were a bit "over-ambitious".
* Dorian finally finds out that Pâté, previously dead, is now a very much alive creature. He initially thinks Laudna has just gotten better at the ventriloquism until he realizes that Pâté is now just like ''that''.
--> '''Dorian:''' Is he nice??\\
'''Laudna:''' ''Yes''!\\
'''Dorian:''' That sounded like a lie!
** As Dorian plays with Pâté by tickling him, Pâté ends up scurrying around (or even into) Dorian's clothes and tickling him in kind. Dorian seems very conflicted over the entire event.
* The ''extremely'' tense standoff scene at the end is mitigated slightly by the fact that Chetney slept through all of it and keeps loudly snoring.
** Fearne and Imogen constantly kicking Chetney awake as the old man continues to barely stay up each time.
* After finishing up his look over Otohan's blade, Chetney passes it back... and immediately throws up.
--> '''Ashton:''' Next time, do it in the bathtub!

--->'''Ashton:''' See you up there in a little bit.\\
'''Fearne:''' Yeah, I'll see you up there in a little bit. Look at you, you're a little pink in the cheeks!\\

-->'''Matt:''' ''(exasperated)'' Not everything is connected!

* As Essek leaves the room, the Hells finally catch him floating. Imogen immediately gets jealous and casts Fly on herself, and spends a while just floating around the room. Noticing this, a drunk Dorian also casts fly on Chetney and sends the gnome screaming into the air.

* Bell's Hells meet Pumat, or rather, his three simulacra, since Pumat Prime is out. The players are delighted, the characters(plus Robbie) are ''deeply'' confused.

[[folder:Episode 95]]

* Keyleth approaches Fearne to ask how she's doing, and Fearne keeps insisting that she's fine, with Keyleth continuing to probe her about her wellbeing. It's not until Keyleth comments that she looks exhausted that Ashley remembers that Fearne currently has ''three levels of exhaustion''.

* Bell's Hells meet Pumat, or rather, his three simulacra, since Pumat Prime is out. The players are delighted, the characters are ''deeply'' confused.

** The reason they know Essek is a fugitive is because Astrid mentioned it in the last episode. As soon as Laudna starts to pry, Essek shoots a DeathGlare at Astrid, who just gives him a shit-eating grin back.

* As Essek leaves the room, the Hells finally catch him floating. Imogen immediately gets jealous and casts Fly on herself, and spends a while just floating around the room.
* Laudna starts to panic a bit about not getting everyone's clothes finished on time. Marisha compares it to the night before [=ComicCon=].

* Fearne and Imogen constantly kicking Chetney awake as the old man continues to barely stay up each time.

--> '''Dorian:''' Is he nice??

--> '''Laudna:''' He's very friendly!\\
'''Dorian:''' (''forced cheerfulness'') I don't believe that!