History Funny / CriminalCase

---> '''Honorable Dante:''' I sentence you to 25 years in prison. You're to be assigned to the prison's garbage disposal team. The worst job there is!\\

---> '''Priya''': <Name>, this sample is of the victim's blood! But there's evidence from your killer mixed in it too!
---> '''Luke''': [[DeadpanSnarker Wow, did you get all that by sniffing it? Like, with your werewolf nose?]]
---> '''Priya''': No, Luke. I am a scientist, and I use highly specialized scientific instruments.

---> '''Gwen''': Sir, have you consumed an illicit substance today?

---> '''Dolly:''' Sorry but WHAT?! Vampire blood? I don't know what drugs you're on, lady! But vampires don't exist! And I don't think I wanna leave my doggy with you!

* Also in ''Marked for Death'', Alex [[spoiler: has a date with Cathy, [[OverprotectiveDad Chief King's]] granddaughter.]] When he discovers this, he is not pleased.

* In Case 31, we get this gem from Chief Scott:

* In Case 2, a giant bull skull lands on top of Luke's head and gets stuck on him.

* In Case 5, Luke calls Fabien "Fabien de la Creep" after the latter keeps trying to hit on him.
* In Case 8, while Gwen is doing a recap of their investigation, a spider crawls into her hair, causing her to freak out.
* In Case 9, Felix puts on a Hannibal Lecter-esque mask to try and scare Luke, only to have it get stuck to his face, causing him to freak out.
* In Case 10, we learn that Arthur Darkwood and Zeke Davis are both scared of the dark, which becomes hilarious with the revelation that [[spoiler:both of them are demons in disguise.]]
* Zeke Davis' first appearance in Case 6, where he's trying to look for a "celadon dragon" lizard. [[LiteralMinded Gwen mistakes this for an actual dragon]], prompting this line.

* In the middle of Case 11, a werewolf sighting happens at the holiday market, causing mass panic among the crowd. Said "werewolf" turns out to be (the real) Santa Claus's reindeer, Rupert, wearing a derpy werewolf mask that he had tried pranking the victim with.
* During Case 17, Felix is harassed by a demented man [[InsaneTrollLogic who is thoroughly convinced that he is an alien because of the jacket he wears]]. What drives the scene home is Felix's response to Gwen suggesting he takes it off to save himself. ''And it works''.
* Luke's embarrassment when he realizes he was romantically involved with Fabien after drinking a love potion in Case 18. Everyone in the team ([[TheStoic even Jacob]]) teased him about it at the end of the Additional Investigation.

* In case 19, the team comes to the aid of Dolly Hale's dog, who has eaten some poisonous berries. Priya informs the team that the way to help the dog is to inject him with vampire blood. Dolly reacts thusly:

* During one of the analyses in Case 23, the player and Gwen walk in on Priya making out with Zander, the latter running off when they get caught.
* During Case 25, poor Mathison keeps getting spooked by the victim's ghost, with his hair standing on end just like Jones's did.
* In case 28, when Gwen and Pierce reconcile and share a BigDamnKiss, Gregg jumps in and tells them to get a room.

* At the beginning of Case 2, because Carrie is still rusty at French, she messed up saying "Merci beaucoup" to a baker and accidentally said she had a nice butt. This made her panic because she needed to learn how to apologize in French.

* In Case 7, Emilie getting so panicked about his date that he ends up passing out in front of Enzo.

* Gauthier's reaction about learning his dad was a former drag queen in Case 8 is a chuckle.
* Enzo's attempt at winning a date with Carrie is chuckle-worthy, notably how it only backfires and annoys her.
* Enzo getting himself stuck on the trapeze in case 10 and had to be rescued. He was so embarrassed that he pleased with the player not to tell Carrie.
* In case 12 where Carrie has to slap Emile to snap him out of his behavior. His reaction towards it is worth a chuckle also.
* Case 16: To memorialize [[spoiler:Antoine Macaron]], two mobsters shoot into the air while shouting "Love live the Pigeons and Rats!". A pigeon promptly drops dead at their feet. Their expressions are priceless.

Erhi: What is this parchment? It is so lifelike! It is EXACTLY the foreigner's face! How did you capture his likeness so precisely? And what is he wearing?\\
Jack: Um... <Name> is a talented, and creative, artist. DO you know where we can find the man in the image?

* At the end of 26, seeing the camel resting lovingly on Kai's shoulder as he is confused and uncomfortable about if it on the time machine.

* In ''Moscow Mole'', during the autopsy, Angela shows Jack and the player a matryoshka doll of Dupont. Jack finds it disturbing and tells Angela to get back to the less disturbing dead body.

** Another way Lars became "more Australian" during this case is he tried to make Carmen eat veggiemite, which she describes as nasty.

-->'''Jack:''' What?! Bro, no! The guru has no points at all! Zero points! <player> discovered that he's taking money from his followers! If the guru isn't scamming them, then I'll eat my...uh, I don't have a hat...but I'll try to take a bite out of my sunglasses!

-->'''Jack:''' Uh, <player>, ...little help?!

--> '''Jack:''' CARMEN! It's your old buddy, Jack! I was te-phe-loning to let <player> know I'm ok and I'm ready to catch the killer!

* The very first case's Additional Investigation has one when Jones and the player tries to get information about a gang from one of it's members, [[{{BaitAndSwitchComment}} only for them to troll Jones instead.]] [[{{DelayedReaction}} It actually took Jones a moment to realise what he just heard, as well.]]

* Jones [[LampshadeHanging lampshading]] his HypocriticalHeartwarming treatment of [[PoliceAreUseless Ramirez]] in one side-quest in Case 7, after having snapped at a suspect who insulted Ramirez for mishandling some much-needed information (which Jones himself has criticized Ramirez for previously).

* Jones' reaction to the elderly Lydia Holly's crush on him during a side-quest in Case 8, where you and he have to repair and return a set of binoculars that she accidentally dropped. Your character is implied to have asked (jokingly) if Jones intends to ask her out.

* Jones' reaction, in Case 11, to your having found several critical clues in the sewers while managing to stay dry on the sewer walkways, while he himself went sewer-water-diving and found nothing.

* In episode 13, where you have Alex analyze a disarmed bomb.

* The beginning of episode 16

* At the beginning of Case 20, you get a package sent to you, to Jones' excitement.

* For a case full of NightmareFuel, Case 26 has some rather funny moments in it.

* In Case 28, Ramirez plays a prank on Jones while you and the latter are investigating a supposed HauntedHouse.

* At the end of Case 37, Jones decides to get into the spirit of geekdom by cosplaying. Unfortunately for him, he decides to wear a Wonder Woman-esque costume, for some reason thinking it's a man's costume. Despite all the snide comments he receives from his peers, he doesn't get it until he's flat out told he's wearing a woman's costume.

* In case 39, [[spoiler: Mikhail Levin]] has escaped from prison. How did he do it? [[spoiler: By ''dressing up as a cheerleader'' to get past the security cameras. The game even shows a picture of him in costume and calls him "Miss Mikhail Levin."]]
* Also in case 39, Alex [[spoiler: has a date with Cathy, [[OverprotectiveDad Chief King's]] granddaughter.]] When he discovers this, he is not pleased.

* Yet again in case 39, when you find out that the killer uses a permanent marker, Jones gets reminded of a commercial about a unicat singing the "EVERMARK" jingle. Jones' face and Nathan's reaction make this even funnier.

* It's both hilarious and ''satisfying'' when you arrest [[spoiler:Alden Greene]] again in the final case. When you arrested him for the first time, [[http://criminalcasegame.wikia.com/wiki/File:21_aldenjail.png he looks angry]] and it looks like he's shouting something like ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections[=/=][[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney Money!]]. But then he's been freed for no apparent reason other than (possibly) aforementioned "connections" and/or money. So once you arrest him again, it's very satisfying to see [[http://criminalcasegame.wikia.com/wiki/File:AG.jpg his desperate look]] which looks like he fully realizes his connections and money won't help him escape anymore this time.

* Near the end of Case 9, the murderer attempted to get his sentence reduced by pleading guilty for a much lesser crime, i.e. threatening a turtle belonging to Pacific Bay PD Officer Frank Knight.

* Russell's method of analyzing "non-psychology-related" evidence when Hannah was temporarily absent:

* In Case 14, it's mentioned that at Frank's last St. Patrick's Day, [[NoodleIncident he apparently locked himself in a detention cell.]]
** At the end of Chapter 3, Frank opens up a can of beer, only to get sprayed in the face.
* In Case 26, Honorable Dante can't stop thinking that the killer killed Juan Rodrigo because of his leotard.
* After having Russell analyze a riddle left by the killer in Case 34, Frank wonders if the message implicates that the killer is a poet. Russell responds that anyone could've written such simple lyrics and came up with one of his own -- obviously not missing the opportunity to insult Frank in the process.

* In Case 47, the killer (who murdered the Mayor of Innovation Valley to prevent her from giving robots rights and putting humans out of work) certainly has a reaction to his sentence.

* Jack getting attacked by a pigeon in Case 1.

* For Case 10, Jack walking like an Egyptian.
* Case 11 has a suspect named Vanna Alabama, who is a very obvious parody of Miley Cyrus. When questioned about the victim's infidelity to both her and his wife, she says that he "destroyed her like a wrecking ball."

* In Case 13, during the autopsy, Angela shows Jack and the player a matryoshka doll of Dupont. Jack finds it disturbing and tells Angela to get back to the less disturbing dead body.

* In Case 14, one of the suspects, a fortune-teller, attempts to get herself off the hook by being "possessed" by the victim and telling the Bureau that he deserved to die and that the suspect had nothing to do with him. It's so over the top that Marina and the player don't buy it at all.
* In Case 15, Lars decides to literally play Santa Claus and ends up getting stuck in the chimney while trying to enter the victim's house. Angela and the player have to help him out, then the two of them reminisce about how they met in college through the same situation.
* In Case 21, Jack calls the corpse the grossest thing he's ever seen "And I once walked in on my parents."

* In Case 23, Angela and Lars's renewal of vows are this and a SugarWiki/{{Heartwarming Moment|s}}, particularly when their kids interrupt the ceremony.

* For Case 24, upon seeing the corpse, Jack's reaction is to promptly throw up.

* In Case 29, when the player sees Jonah after his analysis he is revealed to have been playing hide-and-seek with one of the triplets. When she picks up a grenade, the normally stoic Jonah makes a priceless "OhCrap!" face.
* In Case 31, Jack meets Professor Marshall Metcalf, who had turned himself blue due to self experimentation. And sure enough, Lars turns himself blue later in the case.
* In Case 33, a monkey steals Jack's shades and tries to wear them. Jack then demands the shades back because "they're part of his flirting technique."
* Something similar happens in Case 37; as soon as the team steps foot into the Madagascan forest, Jack is seen with a lemur hugging his face.

* In Case 39, Jack meets a rich kid who looks and acts like him; when he criticizes him for wearing sunglasses indoors and leaving his shirt partially unbuttoned, [[HypocriticalHumor the player calls him out on his hypocrisy.]]

* In Case 41, Carmen and the player walk in on Elliot...singing loudly with his headphones on. When they get his attention, he denies having ever done so.
* Case 42 is a serious, dramatic case dealing with The Bureau mole. It also has Jack completely sloshed with a NecktieHeadband. Interestingly enough, Jack doesn't wear a tie, and it looks like Dupont's
* Case 44 returns Lars to The Bureau following [[spoiler: Angela's arrest.]] While it quickly turns depressing because [[spoiler: He starts moping that his whole life is a big joke]], it starts out hilarious, with Lars completely plastered and Jack acting as CloudCuckoolandersMinder.
* Case 45's AI has Sanjay playing the guiro, and Elliot showing disdain at it. When Elliot starts telling Sanjay what he thought of as good music, Sanjay reveals that he knows of Elliot secretly listening to ''Vanna Alabama'' when he thought no one was looking, to which Elliot simply blushes and starts stuttering.
* In Case 47, Michelle tries her hand at telling jokes. Here's her sample.

* In Case 50, Jack is dared by a suspect to prove he's a master of disguise by trying to pass off as a girl. His resulting meeting with Lars is hilarious, with Lars even asking to write a poem about "her".
* In Case 52, Jack [[spoiler:is hospitalized due to being shot by the killer]], and the first thing he does when he recovers is call Carmen while completely stoned on painkillers.

* In Case 53, Sanjay teases Elliot about listening to Vanna Alabama again, to the latter's dismay. In the AI, Sanjay decides to get Elliot her autograph, but he also ends up secretly giving her his phone number as well. Elliot only finds out at the very end of the case.

* Case 6 has Richard high on mushrooms during autopsy.
* Case 7 introduces us to drunken Maddie.

* In Case 26, Constable Ramirez mistook a luminescent Dick for a ghost.

* In case 59, we find Dora Umbright’s hand-knit sweater-vest for our victim. It’s horribly tacky, covered in floating hearts. Predictably, he rejects her.

* Case 1, Jones screaming at a snake.
* In Case 8, Jones learns he has to encounter Constance Bell again... and he's not happy at all.
* In Case 9, reporter Louis Leroux completely character assassinates the victim's "prowess" just to go viral in a particularly scathing fashion.

* In Case 11, the team celebrates the Chief’s birthday... with strippers... and then Ramirez pops out of a cake... naked. Jones is understandably mortified.

* In Case 15, in order to better understand the killer's psyche, Gabriel ends up getting high off of a drug called Scrappy Snacks and professes his love for the player.
* In the Additional Investigation of Case 21, we are treated to a lecture by Ray Parker... that Jones ends up falling asleep to.
* In Case 25, Jones loses his footing and falls into some dirty water. When he resurfaces, there is a frog on his head which starts nuzzling his hair. When Jones says that he wants to get himself cleaned up, the frog is actually shown ''throwing its arms up in frustration.''
* In Case 26, Gloria and the player are looking for a suspect's missing pug. Shortly after the player puts together a Frisbee, said pug comes out of nowhere and bites it while it's still in Gloria's hand.

* In Case 30, after calming down an angry mob that resulted from [[spoiler:the mayor's murder]], Jones remarks that he hadn't been that nervous since he played a donkey in a school nativity play.
* In Case 47, [[spoiler:Christian Bateman's]] suspect profile titles him as "Wealthy Psychopath."

* Pay attention to Amity Malone's therapy axolotl in case 49. His expressions either hilariously mimic his neurotic owner - except for when even he's exasperated with her hysteria.
* In Case 51, Ramirez has Rita try some pico de gallo in order to see how spicy it is. This is her [[https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/criminal-case-grimsborough/images/2/27/Rita-C282-3-....png/revision/latest?cb=20190105021945 reaction]] upon eating some.

* In Case 55, Jones and the player find a pile of clothes next to the van used to transport Carter. Said clothes belong to James Savage, who shows up behind a bush, naked.

* In Case 6, Jack gets high ''again'' since ''World Edition'', this time on marijuana-laced cookies.
* In Case 14, Theo, Zara, and Kai get caught intimate by the team.
* In Case 15, Leonardo Da Vinci is finally able to use his notes to create a working time machine prototype, and tests it by going ten minutes into the future while Kai and the player watch. It works, but right before he appears Kai has a slight FreakOut:

* After the killer is caught in Case 16, the team can't hand them over to the authorities [[spoiler:because they're wanted criminals in this timeline.]] They end up detaining the killer by ''[[ItMakesSenseInContext trapping them in Chief Scott's bathroom.]]''

* Luke's embarrassment when he realizes he was romantically involved with Fabien after drinking a love potion. Everyone in the team ([[TheStoic even Jacob]]) teased him about it at the end of the Additional Investigation.

* Because Carrie is still rusty at French, she messed up saying "Merci beaucoup" to a baker and accidentally said she had a nice butt. This made her panic because she needed to learn how to apologize in French.

* Emilie getting so panicked about his date that he ends up passing out in front of Enzo.

* Gauthier's reaction about learning his dad was a former drag queen is a chuckle.

* The Case 11, the team celebrates the Chief’s birthday... with strippers... and then Ramirez pops out of a cake... naked. Jones is understandably mortified.

* In Case 55, Jones and the player character find a pile of clothes next to the van used to transport Carter. Said clothes belong to James Savage, who shows up behind a bush, naked.