History Funny / CSI

* "In Vino Veritas": A French winemaker's ArsonMurderAndJaywalking opinion of the disasters his family's business has survived: war, drought, pestilence, and [[TakeThat California]] [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Merlot]].

* The whole EpicFail attempt by the gang-bangers in "4x4" to rob the taco man counts as both a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome and a SugarWiki/{{Funny|Moments}} at the same time. The gang-bangers pull out their knives and threaten the taco man, [[SeenItAll who's not impressed]]. He stabs one of them with a carving knife and whacks the other one in the face with a pan of hot grease, causing them to run away. When Grissom asks the taco man why he didn't report it to the police, the taco man replies that the police have enough things to do, and this incident wasn't even worth bothering them. When he establishes that one of the gang-bangers carjacked a couple's Humvee to run over the taco stand for revenge, only to drive the wrong way down a one-way street and run over another car instead, Gil's face and now-legendary response are priceless: "[[StupidestThingIveEverHeard I think this is the dumbest thing we've ever heard.]]"
** Just the way Brass sums up their hare-brained scheme: "[[LetMeGetThisStraight Let me get this straight]], Larry: [[NeverMessWithGranny an old man]] [[WhenEldersAttack refuses to let you steal his money]], so you [[DisproportionateRetribution jack a Hummer and try to run over his taco stand?]]"

* "In Vino Veritas": A French winemaker's ArsonMurderAndJaywalking opinion of the disasters his family's business has survived war, drought, pestilence, and [[TakeThat California]] [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Merlot]].

* "The Last Ride": Sara and Finn are trying to speak to a person of interest who drives up in a really nice car. He rudely brushes them off, as he's on the phone, so Sara gets his attention by deliberately bumping into his car and setting the alarm off.

!!Since this is a Moments page, [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff all spoilers are unmarked per policy]]. Administrivia/YouHaveBennWarned.

** Later, the culprits [[spoiler: turn out actually to be the aforementioned parrot and cat]]. Brass's expressions during the NecroCam flashbacks are priceless.
--->'''Brass:''' So, [[spoiler:[[WesternAnimation/SylvesterTheCatAndTweetyBird Sylvester and Tweety]]]] whacked their owners.

** Sara's reaction to what happened to the wrinkled-skin guy. The victim's friend, a rural gas station owner, explains that [[spoiler: the victim was gored by a deer the two were trying to dress, only to have it turn out NotQuiteDead. He then tries to [[TooDumbToLive clean out the wound with a high-pressure air hose]], but the nozzle gets stuck and, well, he ''inflates'' himself to death. The gas station owner dumped the body because having a corpse around would be bad for business, and besides the deer that started the whole mess was out of season.]] The FlatWhat expression on Sara's face as she hears this litany of common sense fail is priceless.

** At the end of the episode the three siblings are still fighting over ownership of the house. The sister (who is the OnlySaneMan of the family ''despite'' being [[spoiler: the one who stole the house in the first place]]) is trying to get her brothers to stop fighting, and one of them replies that she's "not even their real sister anymore", since it was discovered during the episode that she has a different father than her brothers. Her exasperated "We have the same mother, you ''idiot''!" was hilarious.

'''[[HollywoodNerd Greg]]''': Me?\\

** Earlier, the football coach wakes up heavily bleeding, yet continues his morning routine such as brushing his teeth, eating breakfast, and picking up the newspaper, oblivious to his severe injury, until he drops dead in front of a passing police officer. Turns out this is due to bone fragments destroying the part of the brain that controls thought and reason, but the part that controls instincts and rituals remained intact, leaving him in a zombie state.
-->'''Nick:''' They never seem to get that right in zombie movies.
** "The Lost Girls": In an otherwise serious episode about women being sex trafficked, Langston and Brass investigate a pimp awards show, the Golden Pimp Awards for Daddy of the Year, with the nominees all dressed in stereotypical PimpDuds.

* The main case of "Field Mice" has Hodges and Wendy bringing two high school students to the lab to study an old case. What makes it funny is that the case is being told as if Hodges and Wendy were the main investigators, so everything is told from the point of view of the analysts. So Brass gets turned into a guy who likes drinking, Doc Al Robbins becomes a corner who likes watching cat videos and taking the credit from David, and Langston is now the trace analyst.

* In the final part of "Toe Tags", Brass interviews the soon-to-be-ex-wife of one of the deceased men. The impending divorcee had been cutting up furniture that he was going to lose in the divorce with a chainsaw.

* In "Unshockable", [=Jay DeMarcus=] of Music/RascalFlatts fame suffers an electric shock on stage, giving him IdentityAmnesia as a result and he starts to hate CountryMusic and love HipHop, "In Da Club" by Music/FiftyCent in particular. His memories eventually returns, and he starts to rap in his next appearance, before seguing into their song "unstoppable".

* In "Unshockable", Jay DeMarcus of Music/RascalFlatts fame suffers an electric shock on stage, giving him IdentityAmnesia as a result and he starts to hate CountryMusic and love HipHop, "In Da Club" by Music/FiftyCent in particular.

* "Working Stiffs": This episode ends with a meek office worker successfully robbing a casino safe, and evading police and getting away with the money, only to reveal that it was AllJustADream and he actually got [[CruelAndUnusualDeath bisected by the safe door]].

** The first victim of the episode's death turns out to be like something from Series/OneThousandWaysToDie. He was trying to kill his [[SitcomArchNemesis long-standing nemesis]], "Raccoon-Zilla", by luring it to the bottom of a pipe, pumping in flammable gas, and tossing in a match. Unfortunately, the gas was pooled at the bottom of the pipe, and the match would always go out before reaching it, so the guy decided to just shoot the raccoon. The resulting explosion launched both man and raccoon through a nearby window, with the raccoon attached to his face as it went in for one last defiant bite. Dissatisfaction

** Earlier, the football coach wakes up heavily bleeding, yet continues his morning routine such as brushing his teeth, eating breakfast, and picking up the newspaper, oblivious to his severe injury, until he drops dead in front of a passing police officer.

** The first victim of the episode's death turns out to be like something from Series/OneThousandWaysToDie. He was trying to kill his [[SitcomArchNemesis long-standing nemesis]], "Raccoon-Zilla", by luring it to the bottom of a pipe, pumping in flammable gas, and tossing in a match. Unfortunately, the gas was pooled at the bottom of the pipe, and the match would always go out before reaching it, so the guy decided to just shoot the raccoon. The resulting explosion launched both man and raccoon through a nearby window, with the raccoon attached to his face as it went in for one last defiant bite.

* "Working Stiffs": This episode ends with a meek office worker successfully robbing a casino safe, and evading police and getting away with the money, only to reveal that it was AllJustADream and he actually got [[CruelAndUnusualDeath bisected by the safe door.

** Earlier, the football coach wakes up heavily bleeding, yet continues his morning routine such as brushing his teeth and picking up the newspaper, oblivious to his severe injury, until he drops dead in front of a passing police officer.

** Hodges's numerous daydreams about Wendy Simms in various ridiculous scenarios, all set in episodes of ''Astro Quest'', with Hodges being the Kirk expy and Simms the Uhura and Shahna expies.

** Hodges's numerous daydreams about Wendy Simms in various ridiculous scenarios, all set in episodes of ''Astro Quest'', with Hodges being the Kirk expy and Simms the Uhura expy.

** Hodges's numerous daydreams about Wendy in various ridiculous [[{{Expy}} "Astro Quest"]]-type scenarios.