History Funny / BlastphamousHD

* ( '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSDekzbdoPc BHD Storytime #66 - How I ACCIDENTLY Flashed My Balls To My Family]]'''. Just that title tells you everything you need to know, but to summarize: [[spoiler:A female friend of Maurice's was having trouble shaking a creepy guy who wouldn't take no for an answer. Maurice gets the idea to take a picture of his balls and send it to the guy, both to gross him out and to convince him that she already has a boyfriend. Maurice takes the picture but finds that he doesn't know how to text it to her, eventually hitting the screen-share button by mistake. Which puts the image on the ''giant Bluetooth TV in the other room''.'''[[FromBadToWorse That his entire family is currently watching]]'''. When his family confronts him (not realizing that it's him doing it) his only response is that [[BlatantLies the picture on TV is not a pair of balls]] while frantically spamming the buttons on his phone (currently hidden in his pocket) to end the screen-share. The highlight of the video is at the end, when Maurice's brother Christian realizes that it was him and goes wide-eyed in shock, forcing Maurice to beg him not to say anything]].

( '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSDekzbdoPc BHD Storytime #66 - How I ACCIDENTLY Flashed My Balls To My Family]]'''. Just that title tells you everything you need to know, but to summarize: [[spoiler:A female friend of Maurice's was having trouble shaking a creepy guy who wouldn't take no for an answer. Maurice gets the idea to take a picture of his balls and send it to the guy, both to gross him out and to convince him that she already has a boyfriend. Maurice takes the picture but finds that he doesn't know how to text it to her, eventually hitting the screen-share button by mistake. Which puts the image on the ''giant Bluetooth TV in the other room''.'''[[FromBadToWorse That his entire family is currently watching]]'''. When his family confronts him (not realizing that it's him doing it) his only response is that [[BlatantLies the picture on TV is not a pair of balls]] while frantically spamming the buttons on his phone (currently hidden in his pocket) to end the screen-share. The highlight of the video is at the end, when Maurice's brother Christian realizes that it was him and goes wide-eyed in shock, forcing Maurice to beg him not to say anything]].

* Most if not all of his BHD Storytimes (if not TearJerker). It's even better when you know the fact that ''each and every one of them are real and actually happened to him.''
** Special mention has goes to the sheer ''absurdity'' of his story at the end of the first part of #44. Just when he thought that he was getting away with stealing, he sees [[spoiler:a ''huge'' man running towards him and outright tackling him, before hogtying him with cuffs and casually dragging him back into the K-Mart]].

* [[https://youtu.be/2-RCowIFRoo?t=6m59s While taking the "Would You Survive a Zombie Outbreak" quiz with Randy]], Maurice has to choose between various ways to kill a zombie. He is discussing each item on the list with Randy.
-->'''Maurice''': ..."Blow it's limbs off". Dude, I cannot muster anywhere near enough oxygen in my lungs to blow anyone's limbs off. (begins inhaling and blowing air on Randy several times) Can you imagine that shit? Zombie comes up, "Nyehhhh!", and you're like, "No, guys, hold on, I got this." (blows on the camera) It would [[JumpCut cutscene to you being eaten alive]]. Or [[TooDumbToLive just dead]]. And no one would help you, because [[Series/TheWeakestLink you are the weakest link]].
-->'''Randy''': Do you - do you know that they mean 'by an explosion'? Or 'with a gun'?
-->(Maurice falls unusually silent)
-->'''Randy''': (continuing) To shoot its limbs off, or blow it's limbs off with an explosion of any type? Were you aware of that when you said that?
-->'''Maurice''': (picking up where they left off in the list) "Shoot or stab it in the heart"...
* Maurice and Randy postulate that if zombies tried listening to their mixtape, they'd probably try to kill themselves. The entire conversation gets derailed when Maurice [[EpicFail decides to try freestyling]] in the middle of the video to prove that he can rap. Randy joins in by spitting out nonsense phrases. Maurice thinks it's corny as hell, but rolls with it and becomes the hype man, reacting to Randy's bars as if they're amazing. Watch it [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-RCowIFRoo&feature=youtu.be&t=7m47s here]].
* Maurice, Randy, and Chavez [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mPT-VsUhSM&t=798s reading weird comments on YouTube]] includes the following gems:
** An argument about whether motorboating and humming on someone's balls is the same thing.
** Several viewers asking Maurice to tell the "dildo in [his] butt story" and Maurice vehemently denying any knowledge of it.
** Chavez reading someone's detailed transexual vampire goth wet dream.
** Viewers commenting on Maurice's shiny bald head and commenting that he looks like "a talking Milk Dud"... and Maurice agreeing with them.
** Maurice reading a particularly raunchy limerick left by one commenter:
-->'''Maurice:''' Blast and Jill went up the hill, so he could lick her candy.
-->'''Chavez:''' (nods) Okay.
-->'''Maurice:''' But Blast [was] shocked with [[spoiler: a mouthful of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was ''Randy''!]]
-->(Maurice and Chavez howl with laughter as [[spoiler: Randy]] angrily shakes his finger and protests in the background)
** Maurice getting a request to watch an obscene parody of ''{{WesternAnimation/Frozen|2013}}'''s "Let It Go", and starts looking it up to the horror of Randy and Chavez.
** Maurice reads a viewer's simple but seemingly mean-spirited comment, "I hope you fail", and the flack that ensues from it. As it turns out, the viewer really meant that [[spoiler: he hoped that Maurice would fail the Try Not to Laugh or Grin challenge (by laughing).]]

* Maurice and Chavez are [[https://youtu.be/v2gE8W_-zto playing a scary game]] in which they are being [[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys chased by an animatronic monster]] in an empty house in the middle of the night.
-->'''Maurice''': Obviously, we have decided to burgle the wrong house, my nigga! We are fuckin' up. These niggas have the most securest of security!
* Any time that Maurice introduces Randy as "Dr. J and the Women", Randy makes spirit fingers across his face. Maurice thinks it is lame as hell, so in some videos, Maurice tries to avoid saying it... but Randy will do it at the moment he would have anyway.
* Any time Maurice literally leaps out of his chair when playing a scary game or watching a scary video, even for a cheap jump scare. He has broken his headphones doing this.
* In [=BlastphamousHD=]'s horror skit, [[https://youtu.be/I34SQGWIGcA "Buy My Mixtape.......OR ELSE!"]], Rudan, Randy, and Chavez are preparing to defend themselves from a madman (Maurice). Randy and Rudan are armed with plastic butter knives, but Chavez inexplicably has a sword.
-->'''Randy:''' Where'd you get a sword from?\\
'''Chavez:''' I ain't no bitch.\\
'''Randy:''' Can I have one too?\\
'''Chavez:''' [[LittleNo No.]]
** ''Todd'' has Rudan trapped under the stairs. As the scary music plays Todd walks down a few stairs. Than back up. Than back down, than up, than down for real.
** Chavez is tied to a chair by ''Todd'', And panics because "''Todd's bald''".
--> Todd: Ho ho ho nigger.
** Randy: He was trying to get me buy his mix tape.
--> Chavez: It can't be that bad.
--> Randy: He made it in his car.. He doesn't even have a car, who's car was he in!?

* In one video, Maurice backtracks on a sexual joke when he realizes who is likely watching him:
--> '''Maurice:''' ... the link will be down in the description ''below me''... haha, get it? "Blow me"? ... [[OhCrap Aww fuck... y'all are probably kids...]] ... I'mma edit that out.

* Maurice goes through a slideshow which shows cropped images whose meanings change entirely when uncropped. He finds one image of cleavage in a bra and gets excited, believing it is a woman's breasts. Then the image is uncropped, revealing that it's a baby's bottom covered in a bra. Cue Maurice groaning and asking aloud, "What monster does this?!"

* This perfectly timed gag in "Five Night's At Chuck E. Cheese":
-->'''BHD:''' (While searching for Chuck E on the cameras) Fuck [[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys Freddy Fazbear's]]! Chuck E. Cheese is where all the fuck-shit happens apparently. (Spots Chuck E.) [[OhCrap Oh nigga!]] See, ever since I was a kid, I knew there was something wrong with that god damn rat!
--> ([[SpeakOfTheDevil Literally the second he finishes speaking Chuck E. jumpscares him]].)

* Maurice's reactions to ''To Catch a Predator'' videos, where he laughs at the squirming and excuses that predators make when they are caught by Chris Hansen. One memorable moment is his long bout of hysterical laughter in the video [[https://youtu.be/5C1iBMSQKvg?t=198 "Adult Shows Up To Meet Teenager | Cries When Chris Hansen Walks Out"]]

--> ([[SpeakOfTheDevil Literally the second he finishes speaking Chuck E. jumpscares him]].)

-->'''BHD:''' (While searching for Chuck E on the cameras) Fuck [[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys Freddy Fazbear's]]! Chuck E. Cheese is where all the fuck-shit happens apparently. (Spots Chuck E.) [[OhCrap Aww]] see, ever since I was a kid, I knew there was something wrong with that god damn rat!

([[SpeakOfTheDevil Literally the second he finishes speaking Chuck E. jumpscares him]].)

* "5 SCARY Ghost Videos That Will FREAK You OUT" has one moment in particular where Blast screams in terror after the ghost in the video comes bounding down the stairs at a pair of paranormal investigators. While the video is legitimately [[NightmareFuel terrifying]], the stuttering scream that Blast makes (which he aptly compares to Popeye's laugh) [[NightmareRetardant flips it]] from scary funny.

* Maurice goes through a slideshow which shows cropped images whose meanings change entirely when uncropped. He finds one image of cleavage in a bra and gets excited, believing it is a woman's breasts. Then the image is uncropped, revealing that it's a baby's bottom covered in a bra. Cue Maurice groaning and asking aloud, "What monster does this?!"

** Maurice getting a request to watch an obscene parody of ''Disney/{{Frozen}}'''s "Let It Go", and starts looking it up to the horror of Randy and Chavez.

** Randy: He was trying to buy his mix tape.

** Randy: He made it in his car.. He doesn't even have a carm, who's car was he in!?

** -->: Randy: He made it in his car.. He doesn't even have a carm, who's car was he in!?

**
-->: Randy: He made it in his car.. He doesn't even have a carm, who's car was he in!?

** Everything said by Maurice as Todd.
--> Todd: Ho ho ho nigger. Buy my fuckin mix tape.

** ''Todd'' has Rudan trapped under the stairs. As the scary music plays Todd walks down a few stairs. Than back up. Than back up. Than down for real.

** ''Todd'' has Rudan trapped under the stairs. As the scary music plays Todd walks down a few stairs. Than back up. Than back uo. Than down for real.

** Chavez is tied to a chair by ''Todd'', And panics because "''Todd's bold''".

** ''Todd'' has Rudan trapped under the stairs. As the scary music plays Todd walks down a few stairs. Than back up. Than back down. Than down for real.

** Chavez is tied to a chai4 by ''Todd'', And panics because "''Todd's bold''".

** Chavez is tied to a chaie by ''Todd''. And panics because "''Todd's bold''".

** Chavez is trapped tied up by ''Todd''. And panics because "''Todd's bold''".

** Chavez is tied to a chair by ''Todd''. And panics because "''Todd's bold''".
--> Todd: Ho,ho,ho, buy my fuckin mix tape.

** Chavez is trapped tied up by ''Todd''. And panica because "''Todd's bold''".
--> Todd: Ho,ho,ho, by my fuckin mix tape.

* Maurice and Chavez are [[https://youtu.be/v2gE8W_-zto playing a scary game]] in which they are being [[Franchise/FiveNightsAtFreddys chased by an animatronic monster]] in an empty house in the middle of the night.