History Funny / BioShock

Each [=BioShock=] work has their own page:
* Funny/{{BioShock|1}}
* Funny/BioShock2
* Funny/BioShockInfinite
* Funny/BioShockRapture

[[AC:VideoGame/{{BioShock 1}}]]
* The "Lady Smith" splicer's funny rants. "You're worthless, you're nothing!" "There's proper folk, here. You don't fit in!" Check out [[http://bioshock.wikia.com/wiki/Lady_Smith her quotes]].
-->'''Lady Smith:''' You call that tenderloin? If you serve that in any respectable hotel in New York, they'd laugh you out of town!
-->'''Lady Smith:''' CHARLES? [[ValuesDissonance The Negro cook's been stealing again!]]
* While many of the Splicer rants across both games are great examples, this example from Doctor Grossman has got to be one of the best:
--> '''Dr. Grossman:''' THERE'S SEMEN ON EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!
** Another one:
--> '''Dr Grossman:''' When is a fever not a fever? WHEN I SAY IT ISN'T!
* When you first get the Electro-Bolt plasmid in the first game, it's a very scary scene. However, the mood is lightened when Atlas says "Steady now! Your genetic code is being rewritten! Just hold on, and everything will be fine!" Dark humor on the level of ''Portal'', but also creepy in how normal that kind of thing ''is'' to Rapture citizens.
* Waders: He offered you salvation, and you SHIT on him!
* When you use the Enrage plasmid to make enemies fight each other, it's always a gas, especially when they're angrily cursing each other out. Also funny if you use it to make a lone splicer lash out at a Big Daddy. HilarityEnsues.
* Sander Cohen. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrdEbWH54js&feature=related THAT]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBTzIy8AQbQ&feature=related IS]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pd9-Iw-V51E&feature=related ALL.]]
* Getting two Big Daddies to duke it out.
* Dr. Suchong's very KarmicDeath.
-->Suchong: "Get AWAY, you filthy little shit!" [Slap! little sister cries]
-->[Big Daddy growls]
-->[[spoiler:Suchong: "NO! NO! GET AWAY! ''AGH!''"]]
* In Fort Frolic, you fight out a boss battle against many, many Spider Splicers...to the tune of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDwgK9JKUiw Waltz of the Flowers.]]
* If you steal the candy bar next to a Little Sister in [[spoiler:Tenenbaum's safe house]], this is her response:
-->'''Little Sister:''' That's mine!
* The Breadwinner Splicer: "GET OUT OF MY FUCKIN' OFFICE!!!"
* Yeah, Steinman's freaky as all get out, but still - "STOP CROWDING ME! LOOK IN A MIRROR! LOOK IN A MIRROR!"
** Even better is the recording you get after his death: "Not What She Wanted." It points out the explicit moment that he fully went off the deep end.
-->'''Steinman:''' I never realized how much her face... sags. Scalpel.
* Atlas's Irish accent can either be charming or flat out [[NarmCharm hilarious.]]
--> ''Goddam SPLOICERS!!!''
** Atlas' outburst from the first game when [[spoiler: Ryan kills Julie with poison gas]] is rather darkly humorous.
---> '''Atlas''': Every toime we get a yahd ahead, Roian goes and moves the goal posts down to the other end of the field!
** And, of course, "Fistful O' Loitnin'" when you get the Electro-Bolt Plasmid.
* "Now would you kindly head to Ryan's office and kill the son of a bitch?" Admit it, [[spoiler:[[FridgeHorror before you found out its true significance]],]] you chuckled a bit at this line.
** Also, "Go get stepped on by a Big Daddy, would you kindly?"
* When you're going after Hector Rodriguez for Cohen (the Nitro Splicer who continuously runs from you), make use of the Hypnotize Big Daddy plasmid and watch the thing go thundering down the hallways after him. It'll be a hilarious chase that will go halfway across Fort Frolic before Rodriguez finally gets beaten down.
* When [[spoiler:Fontaine realizes that "would you kindly" isn't effective at controlling you anymore, after asking you in vain two or three times to "Go get stepped on by a Big Daddy, would you kindly?" Something about the increasingly confused and irritated tone of his voice was just hilarious. It then stopped being funny and became really unpleasant when he reveals he knows another code phrase. One that gradually ''stops your heart.'']]
* Julie Langford's vocal impressions of people in her audio diaries are quite hilarious. Listen to her deep-voiced impression of Andrew Ryan, and the classic "Harness the flame, harness the mist!", and try not to laugh. It's not easy.
** Julie Langford is voiced by the same woman who voices the "Ladysmith" Splicers. The woman is a master of having every word out of her mouth sound like it has air quotes around it.

[[AC:VideoGame/{{BioShock 2}}]]
* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPgX7YaRIOs&feature=related Brute Splicer.]] Homophobic as he might be, he will make you laugh until you pass out, guaranteed.
-->'''Brute Splicer:''' The wind be whistlin'. Bye bye, lovah.
* As with [[VideoGame/BioShock1 the original]], getting two Big Daddies to fight each other is very funny.
* One of the fortunes by the Fortune Telling Machine:
-->'''Fortune Telling Machine:''' Look at it this way: at least it'll be quick and painless.
* Immediately after finding the Incinerate Plasmid in an amusement park, a prerecorded announcement suggests lighting the fireplace for an animatronic couple. If you do, [[spoiler:the fire travels along a trail of oil and engulfs the couple in flames]].
** In further MundaneUtility hijinks, the next announcement suggests you light someone's cigarette with your newfound power. However, close examination of the next animatronic setup shows that all of the dummies have been charred to a crisp: was the plasmid too powerful, or were the previous takers just ''really'' bad shots? Either one's hilarious.
* In the end credits: "53,596 zombies were killed in the making of this game." It is a reference to the then-popular idea of developers trying to one-up each other in how many zombies are killed in a game, from ''VideoGame/DeadRising'' to ''VideoGame/{{Left 4 Dead}}'' to ''VideoGame/{{Prototype}}''.
* In the finale. [[spoiler:After you rescue Eleanor and get her a Big Sister suit you get a plasmid that lets you summon her to help you in fights. What does the plasmid's description say? "It's Bring Your Daughter to Work Day!"]]
* "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed57rJvSv3s What the hell?!]]" (About 10 seconds in.)
** If you choose to shoot the guy, the splicer prostitute screams [[OhNoNotAgain "Not again!"]]
* In the Fontaine Futuristics level, [[spoiler:"Alex The Great"]] has this to say when you hack a vending machine:
-->"Well done! You won a battle of wits with a HOME APPLIANCE!"
* Gilbert Alexander is the height of CrazyAwesome. Honorable mentions go to preventing you from entering a locked office ''by singing the Fontaine Futuristics jingle'' so loudly it interferes with the voice lock, and introducing the first Alpha Series with "I think one of your old co-workers wants to welcome you back to the office".
** "How dare you try to buy me out with this-this bribe, this pittance, this sublime... God damn you, Delta!"
* Any time you shoot someone with a rocket spear.
* The sheer number of traps you can set. Trap rivets, trap spears, proximity mines, remote turrets, even a whirlwind trap plasmid... that you can charge with other plasmids! If you've got a full inventory you can literally fill the entire area with traps while guarding a little sister and just stand there and watch the carnage.
* The steps to getting the secret achievement "9-Irony". [[spoiler: In Ryan Amusements, after the Journey to the Surface ride becomes open to you, you will see an animatronic Andrew Ryan ready to greet you at the entrance. Leaning against the wall behind him is a golf club. You have Telekinesis. What follows is a [[GolfClubbing nice]] ContinuityNod.]]
* Sometimes carrying the Little Sisters around in VideoGame/BioShock2 leads to some amusing commentary:
-->(After setting a splicer on fire) [[InappropriateHunger Mmmm... Marshmallows!]]
-->(After upgrading a weapon at Power to the People Machine) Even Daddy's toys have toys!
-->(After setting down a decoy) No candy for spooky Daddy.
-->(After electrocuting a splicer): Look Daddy, he's dancing!
* During the [[TeleportSpam teleportation bit]] after you grab the Unstable Teleport Plasmid, one of the things you randomly teleport to is the sight of the Plasmid floating through the air, apparently chasing some poor Splicer who is screaming in terror and running from it as fast as he can.
* Poole's comparing Lamb not charging admission to Dionysus Park in Rapture to "some kinda naturist camp where everybody wears pope hats and nothing else!"
* The Ryan Amusements audio tour. "BUT THE PARASITES SAY [[{{Narm}} NOOOOO!"]]
* In Minerva's Den, the Spider Splicers wear ''horn rim glasses''.

[[AC:Literature/BioShockRapture]]
* Dr. Tenenbaum trying to get a sperm sample from someone (who mistakenly thought that they were going to do something else):
-->''Perhaps she'd thrust the needle into his gonad rather too vigorously. But for him to run screaming from the lab, naked from the waist down, with a syringe dangling from his groin, trailing blood and shrieking "That crazy bitch put a spike in my goddamn nuts!" seemed like an overreaction.''
* One of Gorland's past aliases is "[[MasterOfDisguise Wang]]". It's even funnier if you played the original game and recall [[spoiler:Fontaine's boast about having spent six months as a "chinaman"]].

* As with [[VideoGame/BioShock the]] [[Funny/BioShock original]], getting two Big Daddies to fight each other is very funny.

* Sometimes carrying the Little Sisters around in BioShock 2 leads to some amusing commentary:

* One of Gorland's past aliases was "Wang". It's even funnier if you played the original game and recall [[spoiler:Fontaine's boast about having spent six months as a "chinaman"]].

-->''Perhaps she'd thrust the needle into his gonad rather too vigorously. But for him to run screaming from the lab, naked from the waist down, with a syringe dangling from his groin, trailing blood and shrieking "That crazy bitch put a spike in my goddamn nuts!" seemed like an overreaction.''

** Julie Langford is voiced by the same woman who voices the "Ladysmith" Splicers. The woman is a master of having every word out of her mouth sound like it has air quotes around it.

* When you first get the Electro-Bolt plasmid in the first game, it's a very scary scene. However, the mood is lightened when Atlas says "Steady now! Your genetic code is being rewritten! Just hold on, and everything will be fine!" Dark humor on the level of ''Portal''.
** This humor is similar to Fight Club's where at first it's funny, but then realizing how normal this kind of situation is to the people of Rapture is just downright creepy
* Speaking of which, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPgX7YaRIOs&feature=related Brute Splicer.]] My God, homophobic as he might be, that British bastard will make you laugh until you pass out, guaranteed.
-->'''Brute Splicer:''' The wind be whistlin'. Bye bye, lovah.

* When you use the Enrage plasmid to make enemies fight each other, it's always a gas, especially when they're angrily cursing each other out.
** Also funny if you use it to make a lone splicer lash out at a Big Daddy. HilarityEnsues.

* Getting two Big Daddies to duke it out in either game.

* In ''BioShock 2'', one of the fortunes by the Fortune Telling Machine:
-->'''Fortune Telling Machine:''' Look at it this way: at least it'll be quick and painless.
* Darkly hilarious moment in ''Bioshock 2''. Immediately after finding the Incinerate Plasmid in an amusement park, a prerecorded announcement suggests lighting the fireplace for an animatronic couple. If you do, [[spoiler: the fire travels along a trail of oil and engulfs the couple in flames.]]
** In further MundaneUtility hijinks, the next announcement suggests you light someone's cigarette with your newfound power. However, close examination of the next animatronic setup shows that all of the dummies have been charred to a crisp: was the plasmid too powerful, or were the previous takers just ''really'' bad shots? Either one's hilarious.
* In the end credits of ''Bioshock 2'': "[[DeadRising 53,596 zombies were killed in the making of this game.]]"
** Also a reference/{{Take That}} to Left4Dead, which one-upped Dead Rising's achievement for killing 53,594 zombies with its own achievement for killing 53,595 Infected.
** Might actually be referring to one of the developers earning the Trail of Corpses achievement in [PROTOTYPE], which is for killing 53,596 zombies.
* In ''Bioshock 2'' [[spoiler: After you rescue Eleanor and get her a Big Sister suit you get a plasmid that lets you summon her to help you in fights. What does the plasmid's description say? "It's Bring Your Daughter to Work Day!"]]
* In Bioshock 1, you fight out a boss battle against many, many Spider Splicers...to the tune of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDwgK9JKUiw Waltz of the Flowers.]]
** Doubly hilarious if you actually dance circles around the staircase while fighting them.
* "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed57rJvSv3s What the hell?!]]"
-->(It's about 10 seconds into the video.)
** If you choose to shoot the guy, the splicer prostitute screams "Not again!"
* In the Fontaine Futuristics level of ''Bioshock 2'', [[spoiler:"Alex The Great"]] has this to say when you hack a vending machine:
-->"Well done! You won a battle of wits with a HOME APPLIANCE!"
* Gilbert Alexander's the height of CrazyAwesome. Honorable mentions go to preventing you from entering a locked office ''by singing the Fontaine Futuristics jingle'' so loudly it interferes with the voice lock, and introducing the first Alpha Series with "I think one of your old co-workers wants to welcome you back to the office".
** "How dare you try to buy me out with this-this bribe, this pittance, this sublime... God damn you, Delta!"
* Any time you shoot someone with a rocket spear.
* The sheer number of traps you can set. Trap rivets, trap spears, proximity mines, remote turrets, even a whirlwind trap plasmid... that you can charge with other plasmids! If you've got a full inventory you can literally fill the entire area with traps while guarding a little sister and just stand there and watch the carnage.
* I think the steps to getting the secret achievement "9-Irony" qualify here.
** [[spoiler: In Ryan Amusements, after the Journey to the Surface ride becomes open to you, you will see an animatronic Andrew Ryan ready to greet you at the entrance. Leaning against the wall behind him is a golf club. You have Telekinesis. Following me? Good. Now, ask yourself: Are you a man, or a slave?]]
* Sometimes carrying the Little Sisters around in BioShock 2 leads to some amusing commentary:
-->(After setting a splicer on fire) [[InappropriateHunger Mmmm... Marshmallows!]]
-->(After upgrading a weapon at Power to the People Machine) Even Daddy's toys have toys!
-->(After setting down a decoy) No candy(?) for spooky Daddy.
-->(After electrocuting a splicer): Look Daddy, he's dancing!
-->(From BioShock 1, in Dr Tenenbaum's hideout there's a candy bar next to a Little Sister. If you pick it up): That's mine! >:(
* "GET OUT OF MY FUCKIN' OFFICE!!!"
* During the [[TeleportSpam teleportation bit]] after you grab the Unstable Teleport Plasmid, one of the things you randomly teleport to is the sight of the Plasmid floating through the air, apparently chasing some poor Splicer who is screaming in terror and running from it as fast as he can.

** Even better is the recording you get after his death: "Not What She Wanted." It points out the explicit moment that he went off the deep end.
--> '''Steinman:''' I never realized how much her face... sags. Scalpel.

* Poole's comparing Lamb not charging admission to Dionysus Park in Rapture to "some kinda naturist camp where everybody wears pope hats and nothing else!"
* The Ryan Amusements audio tour. "BUT THE PARASITES SAY [[{{Narm}} NOOOOO!"]]
* From the novel ''[[Literature/BioShockRapture BioShock: Rapture]]'', Dr. Tenenbaum trying to get a sperm sample from someone (who mistakenly thought that they were going to do something else):
-->''Perhaps she'd thrust the needle into his gonad rather too vigorously. But for him to run screaming from the lab, naked from the waist down, with a syringe dangling from his groin, trailing blood and shrieking "That crazy bitch put a spike in my goddamn nuts!" seemed like an overreaction.''
* In Minerva's Den, the Spider Splicers wear ''horn rim glasses''.
* "Now would you kindly head to Ryan's office and kill the son of a bitch?" Admit it, [[spoiler: before you found out its true significance,]] you chuckled a bit at this line.

* This troper couldn't help but have a self-satisfied laugh when [[spoiler: Fontaine realizes that "would you kindly" isn't effective at controlling you anymore, after asking you in vain two or three times to "Go get stepped on by a Big Daddy, would you kindly?" Something about the increasingly confused and irritated tone of his voice was just hilarious. It then stopped being funny and became really unpleasant when he reveals he knows another code phrase. One that gradually ''stops your heart.'']]

* Julie Langford's vocal impressions of people in her audio diaries are quite hilarious. Listen to her deep-voiced impression of Andrew Ryan, and the classic "Harness the flame, harness the mist!", and try not to laugh. It's not easy.

* This troper couldn't help but have a self-satisfied laugh when [[spoiler: Fontaine realizes that "would you kindly" isn't effective at controlling you anymore, after asking you in vain two or three times to "Go get stepped on by a Big Daddy, would you kindly?" Something about the increasingly confused and irritated tone of his voice was just hilarious. It then stopped being funny and became really unpleasant when he reveals he knows another code phrase. One that gradually ''stops your heart.'']]

* When you're going after Hector Rodriguez for Cohen (the Nitro Splicer who continuously runs from you), make use of the Hypnotize Big Daddy plasmid and watch the thing go thundering down the hallways after him. It'll be a hilarious chase that will go halfway across Fort Frolic before Rodriguez finally gets beaten down.

* From the novel ''{{BioShock}}: Rapture'', Dr. Tenenbaum trying to get a sperm sample from someone (who mistakenly thought that they were going to do something else):

* When you first get the Electro-Bolt plasmid in the first game, it's a very scary scene. However, the mood is lightened when Atlas says "Steady now! Your genetic code is being rewritten! Just hold on, and everything will be fine!" Dark humor on the standards of Portal.

** Also, "Go get stepped on by a Big Daddy, would you kindly?"

* From the novel ''{{BioShock}}: Rapture'', Dr. Tenenbaum trying to get a sperm sample from someone (who mistakenly thought that they were going to [[{{Nudge}} do something else]]):

* Darkly hilarious moment in ''Bioshock 2''. Immediately after finding the Incinerate Plasmid in an amusement park, a prerecorded announcement suggests lighting the fireplace for an animatronic couple. If you do, [[spoiler:the fire travels along a trail of oil and engulfs the couple in flames.]]

** And, of course, "Fist Full O' Loitnin'" when you get the Electro-Bolt Plasmid.

---> '''Atlas''': Every toime we get a yahd ahead, Roian goes and moves the goal posts down to the other end of the field!