History Funny / BaldursGate

--> '''Jaheira:''' Edwin, in some another time... some other place, [[TeethClenchedTeamwork such a comment would get you a beating of mythic proportions.]] [[ImpliedDeathThreat It may yet.]]

** Jan also really enjoys messing with Keldorn and Anomen, and they both [[TheComicallySerious fall for it hook, line, and sinker]]. Particularly amusing is Jan's story of "Ano the Dung Orc" and his "[[CouldSayItBut apology]]" in [[VideoGame/BaldursGateIIThroneOfBhaal ToB]].

-->'''Maple Willow Aspen:''' DIRECT...um...d-d-irections? You mean you don't...well then, *cough* What can I help you with?

* When talking to Maple Willow Aspen will get a funny exchange:

-->'''Lester:''' Call me a fiend, will you? I've never seen such a cheap funeral in my life! You sold my clothes and kept the casket closed! You picked the flowers this morning from near the swamp! And you gave a drunken priest of Talos a few coppers to slur some lines of profanity to pass for a eulogy! The outrage! The sheer outrage!

* When wandering around the Bridge District in the second game, you're treated to this exchange if you speak to a certain little girl:

* Speaking of scalps, you don't have to be given the quest to start collecting bandit scalps. It's funny to just imagine the character just taking scalps from corpses just for the hell of it and being given the quest afterwards. Even funnier if you're playing a Paladin or other Lawful Good character.

** Jan also really enjoys messing with Keldorn and Anomen, and they both [[TheComicallySerious fall for it hook, line, and sinker]]. Particularly amusing is Jan's story of "Ano the Dung Orc" and his "[[ICouldSayItBut apology]]" in [[VideoGame/BaldursGateIIThroneOfBhaal ToB]].

** Jan also really enjoys messing with Keldorn and Anomen, and they both [[TheComicallySerious fall for it hook, line, and sinker]]. Particularly amusing is Jan's story of "Ano the Dung Orc" and his "[[FloweryInsults apology]]" in [[VideoGame/BaldursGateIIThroneOfBhaal ToB]].

-->'''Kobold shaman:''' We live in sewer, stupids! Stinky not funs! You sit and have realm. Stupid number three new leader. I go beaches and golds. Bye bye.

--> '''CHARNAME:''' Well, it's been so much easier since I discovered all the Slayer really wants is a sandwich.

* In Baldur's Gate II, exploring a certain area of sewers below the slums presents you with a side-quest to track down several different items: a severed hand, a lover's ring from two dead lovers, the blood of a carrion crawler, and the staff of a kobold shaman. When you go after the staff, you can offer the shaman 2000 gold pieces for it; he immediately stops his speech about trouble glories and hands it over. When the rest of his tribe protests, he points out that they live in a nasty, dirty, smelly sewer, and 2000 gold pieces is more than enough to go get a nice little hut on a beach somewhere. Then veers into BlackComedy when the shaman's tribemates kill him for his treachery.

* There's a truly brilliant conversation if you have Keldorn and Imoen in the same party. Imoen tries to pick Keldorn's pocket. Keldorn catches her, and she pretends she is attracted to him. "I j ust can't keep my hands off you!" And he gets all flustered, saying "Good lord Imoen! My daughters are almost your age!" And finally she says, "Oh forget it, Keldorn, here's your ring back." in a tone that shows she just thinks of him as such an old fuddy-duddy.

** In the final decision of ''Throne of Bhaal'', all your party members will give their say. This is Jan's advice:

** Jan also really enjoys messing with Keldorn and Anomen, and they both [[TheComicallySerious fall for it hook, line, and sinker]]. Particularly amusing is Jan's story of "Ano the Dung Orc" and his "[[FloweryInsults apology]]" in ToB.

* In ToB, Aerie will ask Imoen about life as a Bhaalspawn. At first, it's fairly serious:

-->'''Player:''' I am Dinklemus Littlelog and I have come in search of the holy groundhog!

** You can't go back to any of the places recruitable party members are found (e.g., the Copper Coronet) in the expansion, but you ''can'' use your power to teleport any of them (who are still alive) across the continent and into your Pocket Plane to join you. While they don't get any warning whatsoever and some of them aren't happy at being yanked away from whatever they were doing, Jan is surprisingly unsurprised.
-->'''Jan:''' Oh, is it that time already?\\

* Having good and evil aligned PCs in your party will be short lived, but the lines they snipe at each other with are hilarious.

* In Baldur's Gae II, exploring a certain area of sewers below the slums presents you with a side-quest to track down several different items: a severed hand, a lover's ring from two dead lovers, the blood of a carrion crawler, and the staff of a kobold shaman. When you go after the staff, you can offer the shaman 2000 gold pieces for it; he immediately stops his speech about trouble glories and hands it over. When the rest of his tribe protests, he points out that they live in a nasty, dirty, smelly sewer, and 2000 gold pieces is more than enough to go get a nice little hut on a beach somewhere. Then veers into BlackComedy when the shaman's tribemates kill him for his treachery.

--> '''Imoen:''' Ill-effects? What kind of ill-effects? Irritableness, nausea, tone deafness, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers sudden cravings for pasta in the middle of the night]]? That sort of thing?

'''Cernd''': I mean, if I say how [[FreudWasRight the great cycle fells the mighty oak, yielding to the furrows and valleys of a more subtle landscape]], is it my fault if you take offense?\\

--> '''Aerie''': Grr, you impossible!

* One Unfinished Buisness quests involves Boo being kidnapped. Minsc desperately tries looking for Boo and is reduced to tears. Aerie, [[{{Wangst}} of all people]] will offer her sleeve if you have her in the group.
* In ToB, Aerie will ask Imoen about life as a Bhaalspawn. At first, it's fairly serious, with Imoen talking about how the taint "says awful things and I almost want to scream to shut them out."

--> '''Imoen:''' Well... other than that time I got up in the middle of the night to snatch a bag full of cinnamon cookies, heck no.

--> '''Imoen:''' Ill-effects? What kind of ill-effects? Irritableness, nausea, tone deafness, sudden cravings for pasta in the middle of the night? That sort of thing?

* The RantInducingSlight in ''BaldursGate''.

--> '''CHARNAME:''' Well, it's been so much easier since I discovered all the Slayer really wants is a sandwich.

Aerie then gets somewhat indignant at Imoen for joking at a time like this, especially if CHARNAME puts in his/her two cents:

* One Unfinished Buisness quests involves Boo being kidnapped. Minsc desperatly tries looking for Boo and is reduced to tears. Aerie, [[{{Wangst}} of all people]] will offer her sleeve if you have her in the group.

* A snobbish nobleman in Baldur's Gate will complain that the iron frame to his mirror broke and goes on like it's the worst that could happen in the world. You can tell him that there are more important things in the world than his vanity, he replies "no, there isn't!" It's rare finding a self-aware snob.