History Funny / AssassinsCreedValhalla

* A pair of World Events in Snotinghamscire involves Eivor assisting in the efforts of a band of vigilantes engaging in efforts to combat the Pict insurrection, what he calls his "band of merry rogues and knaves". The fun starts immediately when their leader, Ryce Sherwin, demonstrates his archery skills and the mission his group follows to ensure "the poor get richer and the richer get poorer." while they make base in a woodland hideout, Sherwood. The other members of the group? A man in priestly robes named Tuck, a slow-minded giant of a man named Little John, and a battle-ready Saxon woman pushing the group to learn archery. [[RobinHood Sounds familiar, right?]]

* When Eivor is first given the Hidden Blade and is told that it's normally worn on the inside of the arm, they take one look at the removed ring fingers Hytham and Basim have and refuse to do so, making the point that they won't make the same "mistake" they did.

* Eivor and Petra's MushroomSamba experience. They're trying to find Wallace, who has been gone a suspiciously long time on a routine trip to a nearby town, and ingest some stew they found at his potential campsite. What follows is chasing a white elk, Petra discovering the ability to teleport, and attempting to ask rabbits if they had seen Wallace. Thankfully it wears off just in time for Wallace to catch up with them and inform him about the weird mushrooms he had found and made into a stew and how he had to trudge back to Ravensthorpe, in the nude no less, and then set out to find them.

-->'''Anglo Saxon Woman:''' Well? Have you nothing to say after such a forceful breaking of wind?
-->'''Eivor:''' ''(coughing, choking)'' It blew me away!

--> '''Note to Raiders from Eydis:''' We are never safe. Keep your eyes and ears sharp. Keep your body strong. And keep your heads in the battle, even in moments of peace. Never let your guard down, for that is when they strike. And whoever keeps leaving their sweat soaked wraps in the Box with the clean ones, I will find you, and I will send you to Hel myself.

-->'''The Builder:''' Delicious! Your lips are two pillows on a bed of reinrose petals.
-->'''Loki-as-Freyja:''' And yours are cold and rough as unpolished stone.
-->'''The Builder:''' What trickery is this? Her voice...it's hideous!
-->'''Loki-as-Freyja:''' I have been told it has a seductive quality.

* Odin's creative insult to Loki during The Builder quest:

-->'''Eivor:''' Are you sure that's what Ceowulf wants?
-->'''[[AxCrazy Ivarr]]:''' Mm, [[LoopholeAbuse he left it open for interpretation.]]

--->'''Eivor:''' She's more your type, I think.
--->'''Sigurd:''' No, no, this is ''your'' challenge.

-->'''Basim/Loki''': This is a lot, I know. I'm in the same situation.
-->'''Rebecca''': [[NoJustNoReaction No, no, you're on your own here, man]].

* Exploring Walden it's possible to find a series of increasingly irate notes from a local priest regarding the locals and their, uh, "[[TooDumbToLive fondness]]" for playing around with the jars of explosive oil they've got. They go from annoyed, to irritated to locking up all the jars because people won't stop messing with them, to finally declaring "ScrewThisImOutOfHere".

* A world event in Essex has Eivor run into a man who does riddles. He asks Eivor to challenge him in exchange for cake, only afterwards to reveal there was no cake, leading to a almost tearful Eivor asking "So... [[VideoGame/{{Portal}} the cake was a lie?"]] His reaction even suggests Eivor was ''pouting''. They really wanted that cake...

* A world event in Essex has Eivor run into a man who does riddles. He asks Eivor to challenge him in exchange for cake, only afterwards to reveal there was no cake, leading to a almost tearful Eivor asking "So... the cake was a lie?" His reaction even suggests Eivor was ''pouting''. They really wanted that cake...

* Striking up a conversation with Orri the dwarf merchant in one of the shelters has him recount his family history, and it's a story in pitch-black comedy. His father was crushed by a cow... which fell off a cliff. His mother got some bird poop in her face, and then wound up getting run over by her own cart. And his uncle lost his razor and tried shaving [[TooDumbToLive with his axe]].

* Odin's creative insult to Loki after The Builder quest:

* A woman in the sewers of Ledecestscire requests viper eggs from Eivor. After Eivor hands them over, the woman unleashes a fart so rancid that it causes the people above ground to clear out in disgust.

* A woman in the sewers of Ledecestscire requests viper eggs from Eivor. After Eivor hands them over, the woman unleashes a fart so rancid that it causes the =NPCs= above ground to clear out.

* A woman in the sewers of Ledecestscire requests viper eggs from Eivor. After Eivor hands them over, the woman unleashes a fart so rancid that it causes the NPCs above ground to clear out.

* It's possible to find none other than ''Reda'' in Odin's memories, in the first dwarf shelter, finally giving an explanation for how he keeps popping up: He was a student of Loki, and apparently borrowing some Sage tech.

* An armor set found in one of the dwarf hideouts is cursed so that anyone who takes it will slowly and painfully die. Odin's reaction? ''Steal it anyway.'' Yep, the king of an ancient pre-human civilization is your typical RPG player when it comes to loot.

* In ''Dawn of Ragnarok'', one of the Dwarves in Distress quests has Havi saving a dwarf from a bear. Why is the bear attacking him? Well, this dwarf was just camping when he decided it was a good idea to make some bacon. The dwarf's name is [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Frodri]], by the way. And he's on a "quest" to destroy a curséd ring (emphasis his) this passing witch gave him... Havi decides to accompany him on this "quest". Moments later, despite having said the bear's attack stopped him being hungry, he decides to eat these funny blue mushrooms he sees. Finally, when they reach the crack where he plans to destroy the ring, he manages [[EpicFail to trip and fall into the lava]]. By this point, Havi's only reaction is an apathetic "oh, well."

** Spare the turkey, and his owner admits she's already killed four members of his family trying to teach them to fly... but at least they were delicious. And a later quest has this turkey joining in a hunt, even fighting against a ''cougar'',