History Funny / AssassinsCreedOrigins

-->'''Lyre Description:''' Imagining a stirring solo, you grab the lyre and pluck a few chords. [[RealityEnsues But you don't know how to play it]], so instead, you return it to your bag with a melancholy sigh.

-->'''Lyre Description:'''Imagining a stirring solo, you grab the lyre and pluck a few chords. [[RealityEnsues But you don't know how to play it]], so instead, you return it to your bag with a melancholy sigh.
-->'''Lute Description:'''[[RageQuit You're not even going to bother with this one.]] Especially not after the Lyre Incident...
-->'''Tambourine Description:'''You can't possibly mess up the tambourine. Or can you?

-->'''Sasobek:''' [[AnguishedDeclarationOfLove Teta, I love you!]]\\

* The description for the Leather Bag VendorTrash: "Recursion at its finest."

** Similarly, Roman guards who see one of their companions die will occasionally shout "irrumabo!", a Latin curse word that is often translated as "fuck" but is actually [[TakeOurWordForIt far more graphic and far more specific.]]

** Similarly, Roman guards who see one of their companions die will occasionally shout "irrumabo", a Latin curse word that is often translated as "fuck" but is actually [[TakeOurWordForIt far more graphic and far more specific.]]

** Gets even weirder in one mission, which requires Bayek to protect a Bastet worshipper, who ha a small gang of cats following him as well.

* For [[BilingualBonus anyone who knows Greek]], walking through Alexandria is hilarious. There is nothing quite like hearing all sorts of insults to your intellect and lineage in the Greek equivalent of Sakespeare English.

'''Teta:''' [[BigWhat What?]]\\

'''Teta:''' [[RuleofTwo WHAT?]]\\
'''Bayek:''' WHAT?!

'''Bayek:''' WHAT?!\\

-->'''Khemu:''' Papo, what is best in life?
-->'''Bayek:''' To seek justice and truth. To live with honor. To protect the weak and poor. And to love your mother.
-->'''Khemu:''' My friend Kenon said it was to ''(adopts a snarling voice)'' [[Film/ConanTheBarbarian1982 "Crush our enemies, and hear the lamentations of their women!"]]
-->'''Bayek:''' We are ''Medjay'', son. Not barbarians.

** The Osiris constellation has Bayek recounting how Osiris was chopped into pieces, and his wife couldn't recover a [[GroinAttack certain part]] as it was eaten by a fish, but declines to say which. Then Khemu asks "this means he couldn't make babies anymore, right?" Bayek responds, "You are growing up way too quickly."

-->'''Bayek:''' Here! Here! And here is your nobody![proceed to bash out the man that killed his son.]
* When sneaking Cleopatra in to speak with Caesar, rolled up in a carpet, Aya wonders if she's doing okay.
-->'''Cleopatra:''' [muffled] I'm fine.

--->'''Aya:''' Could we take them?
--->'''Bayek:''' Of course we can. We have better gods.
--->'''Cleopatra:''' ''(still in the carpet)'' Are we there yet?
* In the modern-day portions, the player can read Layla's emails and hear some of her personal audio recordings. One of the things she's done is [[EvilIsPetty reprimand Otso Berg for using her parking space]], and then [[DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu send him a patchwork piece ordered from Deanna's "Bitches 'n' Stitches" site]]. Berg's reaction to the latter is the icing on the cake; he admits that he's going to keep it because the craftwork is amazing, which leads the the beautiful image of a professional desk at Abstergo with an F-bomb sitting next to the monitor.

* For the Final Fantasy tie in missions, Ardyn just shows up in his Eos clothes, Bahamut appears, and they both leave. There is no context, no speaking, just a weird guy in a hat and 2000 years ahead in fashion.

-->'''Klaudios:''' All the women I ever tried to f-
-->'''Bayek:''' ''Shut up!'' Please!

-->'''Bayek:''' ''(under his breath)'' Are you Sekhmet, sent here to test me?
-->'''Kara:''' What was that?
-->'''Bayek:''' Nothing.

** And after the quest, if Bayek speaks to Kara again, she'll ask if he's come to be her bodyguard full time. Bayek responds in terror that he isn't, he's just passing through, until the girl laughs and says he's quite gullible.

* After assassinating the Hippo, you get the bathhouse towel Bayek wore as an outfit. If you toggle the hood on it? A second towel appears draped over his head like a hood.

-->'''Bayek:'''Here! Here! And here is your nobody!

* Because no one understands the Apple of Eden, Bayek and the Order of the Ancients end up using it as [[ImprobableUseOfAWeapon a bludgeon to smash each other's heads in]].

** The Osiris constellation has Bayek recounting how Osiris was chopped into pieces, and his wife couldn't recover a [[GroinAttack certain part]], but declines to say which. Then Khemu asks "this means he couldn't make babies anymore, right?"

"Oh mourn this outmost foolishness!"

-->'''Bayek:''' To seek justice and truth. To live with honor. To protect the weak and poor. And to love you mother.