History Film / UnitedPassions

The official description reads “A group of passionate European mavericks join forces on an ambitious project: the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA). An epic, untold story that brings to life the inspiring saga of the World Cup and the three determined men who created it. Driven by their vision and passion, Jules Rimet, João Havelange, and Sepp Blatter, overcame their doubts and fought obstacles and scandals to make the World Cup a reality. Spanning the tumultuous 20th Century, this timeless saga celebrates the game that, despite it all, became not just a worldwide sport, but an expression of hope, spirit, and unity.”

A hagiography of the suits behind world soccer, past and present, it premiered at the 2014 Cannes Festival, but was released in the US the week after the major FIFA corruption arrests, and the ''same day'' Sepp Blatter stepped down. [[note]]A few weeks later he insisted he was still in charge while a call for elections to choose a new president of FIFA was made. He left for good in February 2016.[[/note]] Cost $30 million to make, $25 million of which came from FIFA's own coffers, and earned $900 in its opening weekend.

* StockFootage: Of some moments from various notorious matches in the World Cups including, amongst others, the 1970 final (Brazil 4-1 Italy), the "hand of God" by Maradona in 1986, the missed penalty by Roberto Baggio in the 1994 final, and, in the final credits, footage of a Women's World Cup and the 2010 World Cup moments of Spain scoring the goal in the final and Iker Casillas celebrating it.

A hagiography of the suits behind world soccer, past and present, it premiered at the 2014 Cannes Festival, but was released in the US the week after the major FIFA corruption arrests, and the ''same day'' Sepp Blatter stepped down. [[note]](Sorta, kinda, since a few weeks later he insisted he was still in charge while a call for elections to choose a new president of FIFA was made. He left for good in February 2016.)[[/note]] Cost $30 million to make, $25 million of which came from FIFA's own coffers, and earned $900 in its opening weekend.

* CharacterShilling: TheMovie. The film went out of its way to lionize FIFA executives...during a corruption scandal involving said principals.

-->'''[[http://www.phillysoccerpage.net/2015/06/30/i-watched-united-passions-so-you-dont-have-to/ Review]]:''' The movie opens on a big dirt field in the middle of some imaginary city. It looks like the city was built by Coca-Cola executives for the purpose of creating commercials for Coca-Cola.

-->'''Review:''' Because Havelange is Brazilian, he is played by Sam Neill, a New Zealand native born in Northern Ireland. Neill chooses to use an accent that varies from scene to scene between "American cowboy", "Russian", and "how an alien from outer space might talk." It is unclear to me whether Neill has ever spoken to a person from Brazil.

* StealthParody: The film's director, Frédéric Auburtin, [[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-27868764 claimed]] that he inserted "ironic parts" into the film. ESPN's [[https://www.espn.com/soccer/fifa-world-cup/4/blog/post/2485653/united-passions-fifa-funded-film-is-terrible review]] notes that Uruguay winning the right to host the World Cup and Argentina's 1978 World Cup victory were hinted as being bribery and match fixing.

* StealthParody: The film's director, Frédéric Auburtin, [[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-27868764 claimed]] that he inserted "ironic parts" into the film.

A group of passionate European mavericks join forces on an ambitious project: the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA). An epic, untold story that brings to life the inspiring saga of the World Cup and the three determined men who created it. Driven by their vision and passion, Jules Rimet, João Havelange, and Sepp Blatter, overcame their doubts and fought obstacles and scandals to make the World Cup a reality. Spanning the tumultuous 20th Century, this timeless saga celebrates the game that, despite it all, became not just a worldwide sport, but an expression of hope, spirit, and unity.

That's the official description. ''[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS6E18AStarIsBurns A Burns for All Seasons]]'' was less self-aggrandizing.

A hagiography of the suits behind world soccer, past and present, it premiered at the 2014 Cannes Festival, but was released in the US the week after the major FIFA corruption arrests, and the ''same day'' Sepp Blatter stepped down. [[note]](Sorta, kinda, since a few weeks later he insisted he was still in charge while a call for elections to choose a new president of FIFA was made. He left for good in February 2016.)[[/note]] Cost $30 million to make, $25 million of which came from FIFA's own coffers, and earned $900 in its opening weekend. That's not millions or even thousands, that's ''nine hundred dollars''. One theater grossed $9, meaning ''one'' person saw it.[[note]](''Film/ZyzzyxRoad'' remains the lowest-grossing film ever at $20. Bear in mind, that film was shown ''once'', in ''one'' theater, in order to secure distribution rights.)[[/note]] The only place where it made any sort of (minor) dent was its $220,000 box office in Russia, not coincidentally the host nation of the 2018 World Cup.

->''"[Sepp] Blatter is apparently good at finding money."''
-->--The film's most accurate statement.

->''"The slightest breach of ethics will be severely punished [by FIFA]."''
-->--The film's [[BlatantLies least accurate statement]].

->''"Blatter is apparently good at finding money."''
-->-- The film's most accurate statement.

-->-- The film's [[BlatantLies least accurate statement]].

A group of passionate European mavericks join forces on an ambitious project: the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA). An epic, untold story that brings to life the inspiring saga of the World Cup and the three determined men who created it. Driven by their vision and passion, Jules Rimet, João Havelange and Sepp Blatter, overcame their doubts and fought obstacles and scandals to make the World Cup a reality. Spanning the tumultuous 20th Century, this timeless saga celebrates the game that, despite it all, became not just a worldwide sport, but an expression of hope, spirit, and unity.

No, really. That's the ''official description''. ''[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS6E18AStarIsBurns A Burns for All Seasons]]'' was less self-aggrandizing.

A hagiography of the suits behind world soccer, past and present, it premiered at the 2014 Cannes Festival, but was released in the US the week after the major FIFA corruption arrests, and the ''same day'' Sepp Blatter stepped down.[[note]]Sorta, kinda, since a few weeks later he insisted he was still in charge while a call for elections to choose a new president of FIFA was made. He left for good in February 2016.[[/note]] Cost $30 million to make, $25 million of which came from FIFA's own coffers, and earned $900 in its opening weekend. That's not millions or even thousands, that's ''nine hundred dollars''. One theater grossed $9, meaning ''one'' person saw it.[[note]]''Film/ZyzzyxRoad'' remains the lowest grossing film ever at $20; bear in mind, that film was shown ''once'', in ''one'' theater, in order to secure distribution rights.[[/note]] The only place where it made any sort of (minor) dent was its $220,000 box in Russia, not coincidentally the host nation of the 2018 World Cup.

* AlternateDVDCommentary: Slate Magazine's Hang Up and Listen podcast [[https://www.slate.com/articles/sports/hang_up_and_listen/2015/06/united_passions_reviewed_watch_fifa_s_propaganda_alongside_slate_s_hang.html has posted]] their own commentary track, which they describe as a "[[BileFascination Hate Watch]]". [[invoked]]
* CharacterShilling: TheMovie. The film went out of its way to lionize FIFA executives -- during a corruption scandal involving said principals.

* AGodAmI: At one point João Havelange explicitly compares the good he and FIFA have done in the world to acts of God.

* {{Hypocrite}}: The film's climax revolves around Sepp Blatter forcing the other FIFA executives to back his campaign to stamp out corruption in the organization... by blackmailing them.
* ProductPlacement: FIFA, obviously, but Sepp Blatter's securing of Coca-Cola and Adidas sponsorships are also made into an important plot point, with both brands prominently displayed throughout.

* RealityIsUnrealistic: Downplayed; Sir Stanley Rous actually did lose the role of FIFA president to João Havelange primarily because of his blatant racism and open support for Apartheid. However, the fact that the film for some reason chooses to give a HistoricalVillainUpgrade to someone whose views would already be considered morally repugnant by modern standards, while also lionising a successor who was himself a very flawed man, ends up making Rous's faults look comically overblown by comparison.

* StealthParody: The film's director, Frédéric Auburtin, [[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-27868764 claimed]] that he inserted "ironic parts" into the film.
* StockFootage: Of some moments from various notorious matches in the World Cups, including, amongst others, the 1970 final (Brazil 4-1 Italy), the 'hand of God' by Maradona in 1986, the missed penalty by Roberto Baggio in the 1994 final, and, in the final credits, footage of a Women's World Cup and the 2010 World Cup moments of Spain scoring the goal in the final and Iker Casillas celebrating it).
* WhatTheHellIsThatAccent: Creator/SamNeill as João Havelange. Doubles with WTH Casting Agency casting a New Zealander as a Brazilian.

!!Tropes:

-->'''Review:''' Because Havelange is Brazilian, he is played by Sam Neill, a New Zealand native born in Northern Ireland. Neill chooses to use an accent that varies from scene to scene between “American cowboy,” “Russian,” and “how an alien from outer space might talk.” It is unclear to me whether Neill has ever spoken to a person from Brazil.

[[caption-width-right:350:Everything you heard is true - it's ''that bad''.]]

-->--The film's most accurate statement.

-->--The film's [[BlatantLies least accurate statement]].

* AlternateDVDCommentary: Slate Magazine's Hang Up and Listen podcast [[http://www.slate.com/articles/sports/hang_up_and_listen/2015/06/united_passions_reviewed_watch_fifa_s_propaganda_alongside_slate_s_hang.html has posted]] their own commentary track, which they describe as a "[[BileFascination Hate Watch]]".

No, really. That's the ''official description''.

* WhatTheHellIsThatAccent: Sam Neill as João Havelange. Doubles with WTH Casting Agency casting a New Zealander as a Brazilian.
-->'''Review:''' Because Havelange is Brazilian, he is played by Creator/SamNeill, a New Zealand native born in Northern Ireland. Neill chooses to use an accent that varies from scene to scene between “American cowboy,” “Russian,” and “how an alien from outer space might talk.” It is unclear to me whether Neill has ever spoken to a person from Brazil.

-->'''Review:''' Because Havelange is Brazilian, he is played by Sam Neill, a New Zealand native born in Northern Ireland. Neill chooses to use an accent that varies from scene to scene between “American cowboy,” “Russian,” and “how an alien from outer space might talk.” It is unclear to me whether Neill has ever spoken to a person from Brazil.