History Film / TheLongestYard

--> '''Swatowski:''' ''[effortlessly carrying the heavy bag back towards Crewe and Caretaker]'' [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments I'm sorry... I broke-ed-ed your toy...]]

--> '''Caretaker:''' Oh, they ugly now, but in eight months, she gonna like Beyonce.

* {{Bowderlize}}: The TV version of the BringMyBrownPants moment is replaced with “I think he broke his freakin’ neck”, but [[OrphanedPunchline keeps the “diaper” jab]].

** This isn't the first time James Cromwell [[Film/TheGreenMile has played a prison warden]] (though the one from the previous film was much kinder and fairer).

[[FallenHero Former NFL quarterback Paul "Wrecking" Crewe]], who had been kicked out of football for shaving points off a game, finds himself on the wrong side of the law and is sent to a state penitentiary (Citrus State Prison in the original film, Allenville in the remake). The prison is known for having a semi-pro football team made up entirely of prison guards, but their team has fallen on hard times. The warden wants Crewe to help turn things around, by assembling a [[RagtagBunchOfMisfits team made up of fellow inmates]] to serve as a tune-up game for the guards.

** Wrestling/StoneColdSteveAustin's character takes a '''HARD''' clothesline during the final game, which was [[WrestlerInAllOfUs just another day at the office]] in his previous line of work. [[note]]For [[GeniusBonus bonus points]], Austin's character is carried off in a neck brace, and Switowski's line of "I think I made him shit himself" (and the accompanying echoes[=/=]replies) in the remake is changed from the original's "I think I broke his fucking neck." An in-ring neck injury was what precipitated Austin's early retirement from pro wrestling, which probably had a lot to do with why Austin was available to play the role in the first place.[[/note]]

* CripplingTheCompetition: the warden orders Crewe give the guards a 21-point advantage or he will frame him for involvement in a murder. Crewe agrees provided the warden will have the guards not injure the prisoners. The warden agrees, then double crosses Crewe by later telling the head of the guards once they have a 21-point advantage to "inflict as much physical punishment on the prisoners as humanly possible."

* TheManTheyCouldntHang: According to Caretaker, three attempts at using the electric chair to execute inmate Turley (played by wrestler Dalip Singh Rana, AKA "The Great Khali") were all failures.

--> '''Swatowski:''' ''[effortlessly carrying the heavy bag back towards Crewe and Caretaker]'' [[FunnyMoments I'm sorry... I broke-ed-ed your toy...]]

* DistractedByTheSexy: When they march onto the football field for the game, all the convicts (bar Paul and Nate) stop the march to chat up the guards cheerleaders (before being warded off at gunpoint by the guards). Justified as they have been in jail for God knows how long and haven't seen a woman (as in an actual woman rather than [[CampGay crossdressing effeminate men]]) in ages, let alone a group of attractive, scantily-clad women like the cheerleaders.

* PluckyComicRelief: The remake has Brucie, an [[TheNapoleon angry little man]] who can't play very well.
** His lack of playing talent, however, helps the Mean Machine get the ball back after one of his lousy kicks was tipped by a guard and became a live ball. The Cons recovered and that set up the final drive of the game.

* PsychopathicManchild: Turley in the remake

** Burt Reynolds, who starred in the original, as Nate Scarborough in the remake-- an unusually large part for this trope.
*** He even wears #22, the same number jersey he wore in the original.

* RichBitch: Lena.

On 4th and 22, Crewe utilizes a QB draw and manages to beat the entire guards' team single-handedly to pick up a first down [[{{Badass}} (without his helmet, no less)]]. He takes a hard hit after gaining around 25 yards, when he could have easily let the team punt the ball away, and his redemption is earned.

* CoolOldGuy: Nate Scarborough and Skitchy. Of the latter, Scarborough claims "He's been here so long, he knows where everything is."

'''''The Longest Yard''''' is a 1974 movie starring Burt Reynolds, that was later remade in 2005 starring Creator/AdamSandler. It combines the two things men care the most about: prisons and football.