History Film / TheLongestYard

* TheOldConvict: Pop. Skitchy in the remake. Also Unger in the remake.

* TheOldConvict: Pop

* HoistByHisOwnPetard: Only one black player agrees to play in the game. The guards see this one player as a threat and taunt him with racist comments and other bullying while he cleans up in the library, hoping he will strike a guard and not be able to play, eliminating him as a threat. However, other black inmates witnessed the harassment this one player received at the hands of the guards and, wanting to get back at the guards, agreed to play with Crewe, thus giving Crewe a much better chance of winning than he'd had with just the original black player.
** Another player joins after a guard screws him out of the last 15 minutes of his TV time.
* HonorBeforeReason: About halfway through the film, Crewe challenges inmate Deacon Moss (played by former NFL all-pro wide receiver Michael Irvin) to a one-on-one basketball game, upon seeing he and a few other inmates shooting hoops on their side of the yard. If Crewe wins, Deacon joins the inmate football team. Deacon wins, Crewe walks away and doesn't bother them anymore about being on the team. During the game, Moss commits numerous fouls that would get you thrown out of the game in a drop of a hat, at any level of organized basketball. Crewe never calls for the violation (the game is deemed "Call your own fouls," meaning if you think you were fouled, you have to say so) on any of Deacon's cheap shots. Eventually, Deacon actually receives interference on his behalf by Cheeseburger Eddy, who spikes Crewe's shot into the bleachers after Crewe had beaten Moss and had an easy layup. Then, to top it all off, on the "Next point wins" possession with the ball in Moss' hands, Crewe strips him cleanly (as can be seen by the slow-motion closeup), and Deacon calls a foul. Crewe relinquishes possession despite the horribly fallacious foul call, and doesn't bother to defend Moss on the final shot, knowing that there was no way he could possibly win. Moss ends the game with an emphatic slam dunk-- Crewe can't even watch as the nail is put in the coffin.
** In this case, it works. Since Crewe took the beating and just kept coming, Earl Meggett joined Crewe's team, wanting to see what he could do in a contact sport, considering the beating that Crewe had taken (and while refusing to argue or complain about it).

* UpToEleven: Swatowski, a very large, very strong inmate who's more GentleGiant than ScaryBlackMan (see ScaryBlackMan above), participates in a strength drill in which the inmates run full force into a heavy bag, attempting to move it as much as possible. Most of the inmates can move it somewhat, but none of them stand out. Swatowski lines up, charges at the bag, and rips it off the chain and carries it for about three or four more steps as the entire structure collapses behind him.

* HonorBeforeReason: In a one-on-one basketball game between Crewe and inmate Deacon Moss (played by Michael Irvin), Moss commits numerous fouls that would get you thrown out of the game in a drop of a hat, at any level of basketball. Crewe never calls for the violation (the game is deemed "Call your own fouls," meaning if you think you were fouled, you have to say so) on any of Deacon's cheap shots. Eventually, Deacon actually receives interference on his behalf by Cheeseburger Eddy, who spikes Crewe's shot into the bleachers after Crewe had beaten Moss and had an easy layup. Then, to top it all off, on the "Next point wins" possession with the ball in Moss' hands, Crewe strips him cleanly (as can be seen by the slow-motion closeup), and Deacon calls a foul. Crewe relinquishes possession, and doesn't bother to defend Moss on the final shot, knowing that there was no way he could possibly win the game. Moss wins with an emphatic slam dunk.
** In this case, it works. Since Crewe took the beating and just kept coming, Earl Meggett joined Crewe's team, wanting to see what he could do in a contact sport.

* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep: Cheeseburger Eddy and Caretaker. Cheeseburger Eddy's Mean Machine uniform literally has "Cheeseburger Eddy" on the back.

* GagPenis: Battle in the remake. Battle jokes he could probably kill a guy by hitting him over the head with that "hammer", and his specially ordered jockstrap is the subject of a memorable visual gag.

-->Caretaker: I can get you anything you want.
-->Paul: A beautiful woman.
-->Caretaker: I'll see what I can do, but you'll have to lower your standards in terms of "beautiful" and "women" (points at the "girls" table, one of them says "Heeeeey").
-->Paul: We'll just stick with the cheeseburgers.
-->Caretaker: You might say that now, but in a couple months, they'll start looking like Beyonce.

* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep: Cheeseburger Eddie and Caretaker.

* TheDreaded: Connie Shokner in the original, a huge lunatic who killed five people, ''then'' learned karate.
* DumbMuscle: Remake's Swatowski.

* AllStarCast: While not as grand as some examples, the remake is loaded with professional wrestlers and hip-hop artists.

** To sat nothing of the gay inmates.

'''''The Longest Yard''''' is a 1974 movie starring BurtReynolds, that was later remade in 2005 starring AdamSandler. It combines the two things men care the most about: prisons and football.

* Gag Penis: Remake's Battle, who's legendary member has been called "the hammer" and his "pet iguana".

* RuleOfCool: Remake's Battle is number 10 for Mean Machine. His number is represented as the roman numeral X.

* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep: Cheeseburger Eddie and Caretaker.
* UnnecessaryRoughness: Oh yeah.