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* TelecomTree: One of the retired Mafia members uses the fact that he has kept in touch with every other former Mafioso to have retired to the greater Miami area to gather a posse to raid the base of a crime lord who had kidnapped the daughter of another member of the group. This leads to a hilarious scene where a freighter owned by a drug lord is attacked by a busload of gun-toting senior citizens.
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-->''(Olivia glares at [[spoiler:Steve]])''

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-->''(Olivia glares at [[spoiler:Steve]])''gives [[spoiler:Steve]] a "WTF" look)''
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* DirtyCop: [[spoiler:Olivia's ex-boyfriend Steve is working for the cartel.]]

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* DirtyCop: [[spoiler:Olivia's ex-boyfriend Steve is working for the cartel.Ventana.]]



* StalkerWithACrush: Steve, Olivia's ex-boyfriend and fellow officer, won't leave her alone and keeps trying to seduce her and gets involved in one of her cases. [[spoiler:Since he's a DirtyCop working for Ventana, a Drug Lord, he's either putting on an act to deflect attention from himself or he's just plain stupid and won't take a hint. Considering he went on the run in a brand-new and highly visible ''yellow'' Porsche, it could be the latter.]]

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* StalkerWithACrush: Steve, Olivia's ex-boyfriend and fellow officer, won't leave her alone and keeps trying to seduce her (while eyeing other women) and gets involved in one of her cases. [[spoiler:Since he's a DirtyCop working for Ventana, a Drug Lord, he's either putting on an act to deflect attention from himself or he's just plain stupid and won't take a hint. Considering he went on the run in a brand-new and highly visible ''yellow'' Porsche, it could be the latter.]]



** Steve shouldn't have been [[spoiler:blatantly stealing evidence and classifying reports related to an active criminal case; which drew Olivia's suspicion.]] Not to mention, he really should have avoided Olivia and handled things from the background.
** Steve really should've dumped the conspicuous yellow Porsche Boxter after he was [[spoiler:outed as a DirtyCop and went on the run. Que a half-a-dozen squad cars led by his ex-girlfriend chasing him down.]]

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** Steve [[spoiler:Steve shouldn't have been [[spoiler:blatantly blatantly stealing evidence and classifying reports related to an active criminal case; which drew Olivia's suspicion.]] suspicion. Not to mention, he really should have avoided Olivia and handled things from the background.
background.]]
** Steve [[spoiler:Steve really should've dumped the conspicuous yellow Porsche Boxter after he was [[spoiler:outed outed as a DirtyCop and went on the run. Que a half-a-dozen squad cars led by his ex-girlfriend chasing him down.]]
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* NeverMyFault: Ventana blames Miguel's stupidity for [[spoiler:kidnapping Steve since he was on Ventana's payroll.]] However, Ventana clearly had kept his underlings out of the loop as we see [[spoiler:Steve]] was reporting directly to him. Even if Miguel did know, they had to grab him along with the others anyway or they'd blow his cover. Upon seeing him, he could've just taken Miguel out of the room and explained then separated him under a pretense. But he wasn't wrong about Miguel being stupid when he blurts out the connection in front of an ''honest'' cop in ''plain English''.

to:

* NeverMyFault: Ventana blames Miguel's stupidity for [[spoiler:kidnapping Steve since he was on Ventana's payroll.]] However, Ventana clearly had kept his underlings out of the loop as we see [[spoiler:Steve]] was reporting directly to him. Even if Miguel did know, they had to grab him along with the others anyway or they'd blow his cover. Upon seeing him, he Ventana could've just taken Miguel out of the room room, told him who he was and explained then separated him from the group under a pretense. But he wasn't isn't wrong about Miguel being stupid when he blurts out the connection in front of an ''honest'' cop in ''plain English''.
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* CrazyEnoughToWork: Their plan to stay at the hotel is to fake a murder using a dead body with its head blown off with an untraceable weapon. The murder would scare the younger tenants into moving out while the landlord lowers his rent to keep the foursome from leaving. In his narration, Bobby concedes that their plan is crazy. But, given the alternative is to end up on the streets, it was better than nothing. Dumb Luck aside, it even ''works''.

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* CrazyEnoughToWork: Their plan to stay at the hotel is to fake a mob-style murder using a dead body with its head blown off with an untraceable weapon.off. The murder would scare the younger tenants into moving out while the landlord lowers his rent to keep the foursome from leaving. In his narration, Bobby concedes that their plan is crazy. But, given the alternative is to end up on the streets, it was better than nothing. Dumb Luck aside, it even ''works''.
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* CrazyEnoughToWork: Their plan to stay at the hotel is to fake a murder using a dead body with its head blown off with an untraceable weapon. The murder would scare the younger tenants into moving out while the landlord lowers his rent to keep the foursome from leaving. In his narration, Bobby concedes that their plan is crazy. But, given the alternative is to end up on the streets, it was better than nothing. Dumb Luck aside, it even works.

to:

* CrazyEnoughToWork: Their plan to stay at the hotel is to fake a murder using a dead body with its head blown off with an untraceable weapon. The murder would scare the younger tenants into moving out while the landlord lowers his rent to keep the foursome from leaving. In his narration, Bobby concedes that their plan is crazy. But, given the alternative is to end up on the streets, it was better than nothing. Dumb Luck aside, it even works.''works''.



* NeverMyFault: Ventana blames Miguel's stupidity for [[spoiler:kidnapping Steve since he was on Ventana's payroll.]] However, Ventana clearly had kept his underlings out of the loop as we see [[spoiler:Steve]] was reporting directly to him. Even if Miguel did know, they had to grab him along with the others anyway or they'd blow his cover. Upon seeing him, he could've just taken Miguel out of the room and explained then separated him under a pretense. But he wasn't wrong about Miguel being stupid when he blurts out the connection in front of an ''honest'' cop in plain English.

to:

* NeverMyFault: Ventana blames Miguel's stupidity for [[spoiler:kidnapping Steve since he was on Ventana's payroll.]] However, Ventana clearly had kept his underlings out of the loop as we see [[spoiler:Steve]] was reporting directly to him. Even if Miguel did know, they had to grab him along with the others anyway or they'd blow his cover. Upon seeing him, he could've just taken Miguel out of the room and explained then separated him under a pretense. But he wasn't wrong about Miguel being stupid when he blurts out the connection in front of an ''honest'' cop in plain English.''plain English''.



-->'''Bobby Bartellemeo:''' Now, as bad news goes, this was "start your car and it goes boom" bad.

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-->'''Bobby Bartellemeo:''' ''(narrating)'' Now, as bad news goes, this was "start your car and it goes boom" bad.
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* StalkerWithACrush: Steve, Olivia's ex-boyfriend and fellow officer won't leave her alone and keeps trying to seduce her and gets involved in one of her cases. [[spoiler:Since he's a DirtyCop working for Ventana, a Drug Lord, he's either putting on an act to deflect attention from himself or he's just plain stupid and won't take a hint. Considering he went on the run in a brand-new and highly visible ''yellow'' Porsche, it could be the latter.]]

to:

* StalkerWithACrush: Steve, Olivia's ex-boyfriend and fellow officer officer, won't leave her alone and keeps trying to seduce her and gets involved in one of her cases. [[spoiler:Since he's a DirtyCop working for Ventana, a Drug Lord, he's either putting on an act to deflect attention from himself or he's just plain stupid and won't take a hint. Considering he went on the run in a brand-new and highly visible ''yellow'' Porsche, it could be the latter.]]
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* StalkerWithACrush: Steve, Olivia's ex-boyfriend and fellow officer won't leave her alone and keeps trying to seduce her and gets involved in one of her cases. [[spoiler:Since he's a DirtyCop working for Ventana, a Drug Lord, he's either putting on an act to deflect attention from himself or he's just plain stupid and won't take a hint. Considering he went on the run in a brand-new and highly visible ''yellow'' Porsche, it could be the latter.]]
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* CrazyEnoughToWork: In his narration, Bobby concedes that their plan is crazy. But, given the alternative is to end up on the streets, it was better than nothing. Dumb Luck aside, it even works.

to:

* CrazyEnoughToWork: Their plan to stay at the hotel is to fake a murder using a dead body with its head blown off with an untraceable weapon. The murder would scare the younger tenants into moving out while the landlord lowers his rent to keep the foursome from leaving. In his narration, Bobby concedes that their plan is crazy. But, given the alternative is to end up on the streets, it was better than nothing. Dumb Luck aside, it even works.
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-->''(Cuts to Ventana, who quietly puts on his sunglasses while his two underlings are sitting across from him visibly having their own OhCrap moment. Then we see they are sitting exactly where they were last night in the yard with the now-smoldering ruins of his house in the background.)''

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* CrazyEnoughToWork: In his narration, Bobby concedes that their plan is crazy, but given the alternative is to end up on the streets it was better than nothing. Dumb Luck aside, it even works.

to:

* CrazyEnoughToWork: In his narration, Bobby concedes that their plan is crazy, but crazy. But, given the alternative is to end up on the streets streets, it was better than nothing. Dumb Luck aside, it even works.


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-->'''Bobby Bartellemeo:''' Now, as bad news goes, this was "start your car and it goes boom" bad.
-->''(We then see the other OhCrap reactions, except for Mike, who finds the whole thing hilarious.)''
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* NeverMyFault: Ventana blames Miguel's stupidity for [[spoiler:kidnapping Steve since he was on Ventana's payroll.]] However, Ventana clearly had kept his underlings out of the loop as we see [[spoiler:Steve]] was reporting directly to him. Even if Miguel did know, they had to grab him along with the others anyway or they'd blow his cover. But he wasn't wrong about Miguel being stupid when he blurts out the connection in front of an ''honest'' cop.

to:

* NeverMyFault: Ventana blames Miguel's stupidity for [[spoiler:kidnapping Steve since he was on Ventana's payroll.]] However, Ventana clearly had kept his underlings out of the loop as we see [[spoiler:Steve]] was reporting directly to him. Even if Miguel did know, they had to grab him along with the others anyway or they'd blow his cover. Upon seeing him, he could've just taken Miguel out of the room and explained then separated him under a pretense. But he wasn't wrong about Miguel being stupid when he blurts out the connection in front of an ''honest'' cop.cop in plain English.
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* CrazyEnoughToWork: In his narration, Bobby concedes that their plan is crazy, but given the alternative is to end up on the streets it was better than nothing. Dumb Luck aside, it even works.
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* LockedOutOfTheLoop: Ventana's inside man apparently only speaks directly to Ventana and not his underlings as none of them recognize him.


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* NeverMyFault: Ventana blames Miguel's stupidity for [[spoiler:kidnapping Steve since he was on Ventana's payroll.]] However, Ventana clearly had kept his underlings out of the loop as we see [[spoiler:Steve]] was reporting directly to him. Even if Miguel did know, they had to grab him along with the others anyway or they'd blow his cover. But he wasn't wrong about Miguel being stupid when he blurts out the connection in front of an ''honest'' cop.
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* PrivateInvestigator: Bobby hires a private detective to look for his long lost daughter. The man is unable to find much information, and tries to convince Bobby not to spend more of his money on an effort that is so unlikely to succeed.
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** Olivia's legs and feet are particularly shown off in a brief scene.

to:

** Olivia's legs and feet are particularly shown off in a brief scene.



** Steve really should've dumped the conspicuous yellow Porsche Boxter after he was [[spoiler:outed as a DirtyCop.]]
** Steve also shouldn't have been [[spoiler:blatantly stealing evidence and classifying reports related to an active criminal case; which drew Olivia's suspicion.]] Not to mention, he really should have avoided Olivia and handled things from the background.

to:

** Steve really should've dumped the conspicuous yellow Porsche Boxter after he was [[spoiler:outed as a DirtyCop.]]
** Steve also
shouldn't have been [[spoiler:blatantly stealing evidence and classifying reports related to an active criminal case; which drew Olivia's suspicion.]] Not to mention, he really should have avoided Olivia and handled things from the background.background.
** Steve really should've dumped the conspicuous yellow Porsche Boxter after he was [[spoiler:outed as a DirtyCop and went on the run. Que a half-a-dozen squad cars led by his ex-girlfriend chasing him down.]]
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* EvenEvilHasStandards: Bobby is an old school gangster and has no love for people who make money dealing drugs.

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* MsFanservice: Ferris/Maureen is introduced while dancing in her underwear at a strip club and sports a tight minidress in a later scene.

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* MsFanservice: MsFanservice:
**
Ferris/Maureen is introduced while dancing in her underwear at a strip club and sports a tight minidress in a later scene.scene.
** Olivia's legs and feet are particularly shown off in a brief scene.
* OhCrap:
** The morning that the foursome find out that the body they used to orchestrate the fake murder was Ventana's father.
-->'''Bobby Bartellemeo:''' ''(reading the newspaper)'' Louis Ventana, father of reputed South American Drug--''father of reputed South American Drug Lord...''
** When Bobby reads the latest paper and finds that Ventana's house also burned down.
-->'''Bobby Bartellemeo''': ''Drug Lord's house?!''


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* SpitTake: Bobby literally spits out all his medications when he reads the headline about the body that they planted at their apartment building was the father of a South American Drug Lord.
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-->'''Miguel:''' [[spoiler:''(surprised and in English)'' He's working for us?]]

to:

-->'''Miguel:''' [[spoiler:''(surprised and in English)'' [[spoiler: He's working for us?]]



-->''(Olivia kicks him in the face with her left foot)''

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-->''(Olivia kicks him in the face with her left foot)''foot, Matrix-style,)''



-->''(Olivia kicks him in the face again, Matrix-style, knocking him over on his back)''

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-->''(Olivia kicks him in the face again, Matrix-style, knocking him over on his back)''



-->'''Ventana:''' ''(with an "are you kidding me" look)'' Get him out of here!

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-->'''Ventana:''' ''(with an "are you kidding me" look)'' ''(exasperated)'' Get him out of here!

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* DirtyCop: [[spoiler:Olivia's ex-boyfriend is working for the cartel.]]

to:

* DirtyCop: [[spoiler:Olivia's ex-boyfriend Steve is working for the cartel.]]]]
-->'''Miguel:''' [[spoiler:''(surprised and in English)'' He's working for us?]]



** Steve also shouldn't have been [[spoiler:blatantly stealing evidence and classifying reports on an active cases, which drew Olivia's suspicions.]] Not to mention, he really just avoided Olivia and handled things from the background.

to:

** Steve also shouldn't have been [[spoiler:blatantly stealing evidence and classifying reports on related to an active cases, criminal case; which drew Olivia's suspicions.suspicion.]] Not to mention, he really just should have avoided Olivia and handled things from the background.



* WrongGenreSavvy: Olivia's ex-boyfriend cop theorizes that the person responsible for killing the Drug Lord's father and burning down his home is a psycho from abroad who watched Scarface one too many times. Than again, ''no one'' could've thought that Ventana's involvement was due to dumb luck.

to:

* WrongGenreSavvy: Olivia's ex-boyfriend cop Steve theorizes that the person responsible for killing the Drug Lord's father and burning down his home is a psycho from abroad who watched Scarface one too many times. Than again, ''no one'' could've thought that Ventana's involvement was due to dumb luck.

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* OpenMouthInsertFoot: Olivia's ex-boyfriend literally does this with Olivia's foot in an attempt at seduction. It falls flat on its face when she confronts him with evidence that he was cheating on her while her big toe is in his mouth. Also, she hates the foot thing.

to:

* OpenMouthInsertFoot: Olivia's ex-boyfriend Steve literally does this with Olivia's foot in an attempt at seduction. It falls flat on its face when she confronts him with evidence that he was cheating on her while her big toe is in his mouth. Also, she hates the foot thing.



** Olivia's ex-boyfriend really should've dumped the conspicuous yellow Porsche Boxter after he was [[spoiler:outed as a DirtyCop.]]

to:

** Olivia's ex-boyfriend Steve really should've dumped the conspicuous yellow Porsche Boxter after he was [[spoiler:outed as a DirtyCop.]]]]
** Steve also shouldn't have been [[spoiler:blatantly stealing evidence and classifying reports on an active cases, which drew Olivia's suspicions.]] Not to mention, he really just avoided Olivia and handled things from the background.

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** For a dreaded Drug Lord, Ventana and his underlings are really dumb. His henchman Miguel can't even tie a knot (which turns an intimidating moment into a funny one). Ventana's security is completely lacking despite his boast to the contrary. On top of which, they should know better than to kidnap [[spoiler:the DirtyCop that was working for them, put him in the same room with his honest-cop ex-girlfriend and then ''flat-out'' saying that he works for them (in Spanish and ''then Miguel blurts it out in English)'']].

to:

** For a dreaded Drug Lord, Ventana and his underlings are really dumb. His henchman Miguel can't even tie a knot (which turns an intimidating moment into a funny one). Ventana's security is completely lacking despite his boast to the contrary. On top of which, they should know better than to kidnap [[spoiler:the DirtyCop that was working for them, put him in the same room with his honest-cop ex-girlfriend and then ''flat-out'' saying ''flat-out say'' that he works for them (in Spanish and ''then then Miguel blurts ''blurts it out in English)'']].



-->[[spoiler:''(after Olivia kicks him in the face twice, Matrix-style)'']]

to:

-->[[spoiler:''(after Olivia -->''(Olivia glares at [[spoiler:Steve]])''
-->[[spoiler:'''Steve:''']] Baby, come on--
-->''(Olivia
kicks him in the face twice, Matrix-style)'']]with her left foot)''
-->[[spoiler:'''Steve:''']] Ow! Baby, you think that I--
-->''(Olivia kicks him in the face again, Matrix-style, knocking him over on his back)''


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-->'''Ventana:''' ''(with an "are you kidding me" look)'' Get him out of here!

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** For a dreaded Drug Lord, Ventana and his underlings are really dumb. His henchman can't even tie a knot (literally). Ventana's security is completely lacking despite his boast to the contrary. On top of which, they should know better than to kidnap [[spoiler:the DirtyCop that was working for them, put him in the same room with his honest-cop ex-girlfriend and then ''flat-out'' saying that he works for them (in Spanish and ''then the henchman says it in English)'']].
-->'''Henchman:''' ''(after Ventana reprimands him in Spanish)'' [[spoiler:''(in English)'' He's working for us?]]

to:

** For a dreaded Drug Lord, Ventana and his underlings are really dumb. His henchman Miguel can't even tie a knot (literally).(which turns an intimidating moment into a funny one). Ventana's security is completely lacking despite his boast to the contrary. On top of which, they should know better than to kidnap [[spoiler:the DirtyCop that was working for them, put him in the same room with his honest-cop ex-girlfriend and then ''flat-out'' saying that he works for them (in Spanish and ''then the henchman says Miguel blurts it out in English)'']].
-->'''Henchman:''' ''(after Ventana reprimands him in -->'''Ventana:''': ''(in Spanish)'' [[spoiler:''(in Miguel, why are you so stupid? Why? [[spoiler:Because this guy is working for us.]]
-->'''Miguel:''' [[spoiler:''(surprised and in
English)'' He's working for us?]]



-->'''Olivia:''' Still like my foot, dear?

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-->'''Ventana:''' Hey, come on!
-->'''Olivia:''' Still like my foot, dear?honey?

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-->'''Henchman:''' ''(after Ventana reprimands him in Spanish)'' [[spoiler:''(in English)'' He's working for us?

to:

-->'''Henchman:''' ''(after Ventana reprimands him in Spanish)'' [[spoiler:''(in English)'' He's working for us?us?]]
-->[[spoiler:''(after Olivia kicks him in the face twice, Matrix-style)'']]

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** For a dreaded Drug Lord, Ventana and his underlings are really dumb. His henchman can't even tie a knot (literally). Ventana's security is completely lacking despite his boast to the contrary. On top of which, they should know better than to kidnap [[spoiler:the DirtyCop that was working for them, put him in the same room with his honest-cop ex-girlfriend and then ''flat-out'' saying that he works for them (in Spanish and ''then the henchman says it in english)'']].

to:

** For a dreaded Drug Lord, Ventana and his underlings are really dumb. His henchman can't even tie a knot (literally). Ventana's security is completely lacking despite his boast to the contrary. On top of which, they should know better than to kidnap [[spoiler:the DirtyCop that was working for them, put him in the same room with his honest-cop ex-girlfriend and then ''flat-out'' saying that he works for them (in Spanish and ''then the henchman says it in english)'']].English)'']].
-->'''Henchman:''' ''(after Ventana reprimands him in Spanish)'' [[spoiler:''(in English)'' He's working for us?
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** For a dreaded Drug Lord, Ventana and his underlings are really dumb. They should know better than to kidnap [[spoiler:the DirtyCop that was working for them, put them in the same room and then ''talking'' about it in front of his Cop ex-girlfriend]].

to:

** For a dreaded Drug Lord, Ventana and his underlings are really dumb. They His henchman can't even tie a knot (literally). Ventana's security is completely lacking despite his boast to the contrary. On top of which, they should know better than to kidnap [[spoiler:the DirtyCop that was working for them, put them him in the same room with his honest-cop ex-girlfriend and then ''talking'' about ''flat-out'' saying that he works for them (in Spanish and ''then the henchman says it in front of his Cop ex-girlfriend]].english)'']].
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* TooDumbToLive: PlayedForLaughs
** For a dreaded Drug Lord, Ventana and his underlings are really dumb. They should know better than to kidnap [[spoiler:the DirtyCop that was working for them, put them in the same room and then ''talking'' about it in front of his Cop ex-girlfriend]].
-->'''Olivia:''' Still like my foot, dear?
** Olivia's ex-boyfriend really should've dumped the conspicuous yellow Porsche Boxter after he was [[spoiler:outed as a DirtyCop.]]


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* WrongGenreSavvy: Olivia's ex-boyfriend cop theorizes that the person responsible for killing the Drug Lord's father and burning down his home is a psycho from abroad who watched Scarface one too many times. Than again, ''no one'' could've thought that Ventana's involvement was due to dumb luck.
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* OpenMouthInsertFoot: Olivia's ex-boyfriend literally does this with Olivia's foot in an attempt at seduction. It falls flat on its face when she confronts him with evidence that he was cheating on her while her big toe is in his mouth. Also, she hates the foot thing.
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* MsFanservice: Ferris/Maureen is introduced while dancing in her underwear at a strip club and sports a tight minidress in a later scene.


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* TrueCompanions: The four main characters spent years as partners in crime in New York before retiring to the same Florida community.
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[[quoteright:300:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/the_crew_dvd_cover.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:300:The Black Market, Just Turned Grey!]]

''The Crew'' is a 2000 crime comedy film directed by Michael Dinner, and written by Barry Fanaro.

The titular Crew is a group of four [[TheMafia wiseguys]]: Bobby Bartellemeo ({{Creator/Richard Dreyfuss}}), Joey "Bats" Pistella ({{Creator/Burt Reynolds}}), Mike "The Brick" Donatelli (Creator/DanHedaya), and Tony "Mouth" Donato (Seymour Cassel). Except that, instead of the glory days of the '50s, they are now senior citizens living in Miami. Worried that they may lose their apartment rooms due to a landlord raising rent for the new, young tenants, the Crew gets the idea to fake a mob hit in the lobby...only to find out that the corpse they used was the father of [[TheCartel a drug cartel's boss]]. Things quickly get quite crazy for the men as they try to avoid not only the Cartel's wrath, but also avoid the ongoing police investigation...which just happens to be led by Bobby's long-lost daughter.

Not to be confused with [[ComicBook/TheCrew the comic series]] or [[VideoGame/TheCrew the racing game]].

----

!!This film makes use of the following tropes:

* TheCartel: The film's major threat.
* DamnItFeelsGoodToBeAGangster: How the Crew felt about their old jobs.
* DirtyCop: [[spoiler:Olivia's ex-boyfriend is working for the cartel.]]
* IronicNickname: "Mouth", who rarely talks. An exception, it turns out, is right after he has sex.
* LongLostRelative: Due to his ex-wife remarrying while he was in jail, Bobby hasn't seen his daughter Olivia for about 30 years.
* AMatchMadeInStockholm: Pepper Lowenstein ends up falling for "Mouth" after the Crew decides to just kidnap her instead of kill her.
* RetiredOutlaw: The titular Crew all worked for TheMafia.
** RetiredBadassRoundup: And the climax involves them calling all their old coworkers for help.
* RuleOfThree: At three points does "Bats" get knocked on the head, almost drown, and have a clever idea when revived.
* WickedStepmother: Inverted; a wicked stripper wants the Crew to off her stepmom. They end up making amends in the end.
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