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Dewicking per TRS decision.
Deleted line(s) 16 (click to see context) :
* BiTheWay: Maggie is first seen making out with another woman, and ends up dating Santos.
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Changed line(s) 10,11 (click to see context) from:
For reasons unknown to anyone in the Catholic Church, there have been a rash of attacks on lesbians by vampires, and to make matters worse, they're now immune to sunlight (the vampires, not the lesbians). There can be only one solution - to get Jesus from his [[HesJustHiding hiding place]], and take on the vampires, including the [[LesbianVampire lesbians they've turned into more vampires]]. Along the way, he'll have to enlist the help of Mexican wrestler El Santos, "Apostle to the Apostles" Mary Magnum, and... learn to do a snazzy musical number?
to:
For reasons unknown to anyone in the Catholic Church, there have been a rash of attacks on lesbians by vampires, and to make matters worse, they're now immune to sunlight (the vampires, not the lesbians).lesbians, although it probably won't kill them either). There can be only one solution - to get Jesus from his [[HesJustHiding hiding place]], and take on the vampires, including the [[LesbianVampire lesbians they've turned into more vampires]]. Along the way, he'll have to enlist the help of Mexican wrestler El Santos, "Apostle to the Apostles" Mary Magnum, and... learn to do a snazzy musical number?
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Deleted line(s) 10,11 (click to see context) :
Okay, a little more explanation, because we care.
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spoiler spaces and zero context
%%
%%Zero-context examples are not allowed on pages. Please add context before removing the comments. Even this movie needs context. Sorry.
%%
%%Zero-context examples are not allowed on pages. Please add context before removing the comments. Even this movie needs context. Sorry.
%%
Changed line(s) 13 (click to see context) from:
* AntiVillain / HarmlessVillain: The thrift store clerk is working with the vampires but is fairly harmless and for the most part fairly lazy about his villany.
to:
* AntiVillain / HarmlessVillain: AntiVillain: The thrift store clerk is working with the vampires but is fairly harmless and for the most part fairly lazy about his villany.
Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
* BigBad: Dr. Praetorious, the MadScientist making vamps immune to the Sun.
to:
* BigBad: Dr. Praetorious, the MadScientist making vamps immune to the Sun.sun.
Changed line(s) 22,23 (click to see context) from:
* EasilyForgiven: Dr. Praetorious is offered a LastSecondChance by Jesus despite all of the evil he's done. Justified because it's ''Jesus''. [[spoiler: He refuses, and is killed shortly after.]]
* EliteMooks: The atheists have them.
* EliteMooks: The atheists have them.
to:
* EasilyForgiven: Dr. Praetorious is offered a LastSecondChance by Jesus despite all of the evil he's done. Justified because it's ''Jesus''. [[spoiler: He [[spoiler:He refuses, and is killed shortly after.]]
* %%* EliteMooks: The atheists have them.
Changed line(s) 27 (click to see context) from:
** To a certain extent Maxine Shrek and Johnny Golgotha [[spoiler: and possibly Father Eustace]] count as well, as Father Eustace mentions that both were do-gooders heavily involved in the Catholic Church before they were turned into vampires. [[spoiler: Maxine gets turned back into a human like Mary does (as does the woman that El Santos liked), but Johnny and Father Eustace are killed out right]]
to:
** To a certain extent Maxine Shrek and Johnny Golgotha [[spoiler: and [[spoiler:and possibly Father Eustace]] count as well, as Father Eustace mentions that both were do-gooders heavily involved in the Catholic Church before they were turned into vampires. [[spoiler: Maxine [[spoiler:Maxine gets turned back into a human like Mary does (as does the woman that El Santos liked), but Johnny and Father Eustace are killed out right]]
Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
* GroinAttack: On ''Jesus''.
to:
* GroinAttack: On Done to ''Jesus''.
Changed line(s) 40 (click to see context) from:
* LeftForDead
to:
Changed line(s) 48,49 (click to see context) from:
* MookChivalry
* TheMusical
* TheMusical
to:
Changed line(s) 51 (click to see context) from:
* NinjaPirateZombieRobot
to:
Changed line(s) 54 (click to see context) from:
* OffTheShelfFX
to:
Changed line(s) 60 (click to see context) from:
* RoleCalled
to:
Changed line(s) 62,64 (click to see context) from:
* SpyCatsuit: Mary.
* ThisIsForEmphasisBitch
* VampireHunter: Jesus.
* ThisIsForEmphasisBitch
* VampireHunter: Jesus.
to:
* VampireHunter:
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Added DiffLines:
* HollywoodAtheist: {{Played for laughs}}: a bunch of atheists attack Jesus out of nowhere. They pile out of a single car, get beaten by Jesus, and then disappear. Many atheist watchers find this hilarious.
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Changed line(s) 17,19 (click to see context) from:
* ClownCar: How many atheists fit into a single car? LampshadeHanging applied: When the second wave attacks, Jesus throws his hands up in confusion.
* CoconutSuperpowers: The makers of this low-budget film had a problem: Vampire films necessitate a lot of nighttime scenes, which means nighttime shooting, which means a lot of expensive lights, power concerns, fire hazards, etc. How to get around this problem? Make the movie about vampires gaining the ability to walk in daylight. Suddenly, a budget constraint becomes a story element!
* DeusExMachina: Obviously. Reaches its logical conclusion when Jesus is off fighting vampires, Dr. Praetorius is watching it on TV, and suddenly, Jesus burst into the room...
* CoconutSuperpowers: The makers of this low-budget film had a problem: Vampire films necessitate a lot of nighttime scenes, which means nighttime shooting, which means a lot of expensive lights, power concerns, fire hazards, etc. How to get around this problem? Make the movie about vampires gaining the ability to walk in daylight. Suddenly, a budget constraint becomes a story element!
* DeusExMachina: Obviously. Reaches its logical conclusion when Jesus is off fighting vampires, Dr. Praetorius is watching it on TV, and suddenly, Jesus burst into the room...
to:
* ClownCar: How many atheists fit into a single car? LampshadeHanging applied: When when the second wave attacks, Jesus throws his hands up in confusion.
* CoconutSuperpowers: The makers of this low-budget film had a problem:Vampire vampire films necessitate a lot of nighttime scenes, which means nighttime shooting, which means a lot of expensive lights, power concerns, fire hazards, etc. How to get around this problem? Make the movie about vampires gaining the ability to walk in daylight. Suddenly, a budget constraint becomes a story element!
* DeusExMachina: Obviously. Reaches its logical conclusion when Jesus is off fighting vampires, Dr. Praetorius is watching it on TV, and suddenly, Jesusburst bursts into the room...
* CoconutSuperpowers: The makers of this low-budget film had a problem:
* DeusExMachina: Obviously. Reaches its logical conclusion when Jesus is off fighting vampires, Dr. Praetorius is watching it on TV, and suddenly, Jesus
Changed line(s) 65,66 (click to see context) from:
* WorstNewsJudgmentEver: "CRITICAL LESBIAN SHORTAGE" (Fringe festival threatened!)
* YouDontLookLikeYou: About a few minutes into the movie, Jesus stops looking like Jesus. He gets haircut, gets a shave, and get his ears pierced for apparently no reason. Then slightly later, he stops wearing his robe and starts looking like a 70s exploitation movie star.
* YouDontLookLikeYou: About a few minutes into the movie, Jesus stops looking like Jesus. He gets haircut, gets a shave, and get his ears pierced for apparently no reason. Then slightly later, he stops wearing his robe and starts looking like a 70s exploitation movie star.
to:
* WorstNewsJudgmentEver: "CRITICAL LESBIAN SHORTAGE" (Fringe festival threatened!)
threatened!).
* YouDontLookLikeYou: About a few minutes into the movie, Jesus stops looking like Jesus. He gets a haircut, gets a shave, and get his ears pierced for apparently no reason. Then slightly later, he stops wearing his robe and starts looking like a 70s exploitation movie star.
* YouDontLookLikeYou: About a few minutes into the movie, Jesus stops looking like Jesus. He gets a haircut, gets a shave, and get his ears pierced for apparently no reason. Then slightly later, he stops wearing his robe and starts looking like a 70s exploitation movie star.
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Changed line(s) 24 (click to see context) from:
* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin
to:
* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTinExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: It's Jesus Christ and he fights vampires. That's pretty darn accurate.
Changed line(s) 33 (click to see context) from:
* {{Homage}}: Maxine Schreck is named after the leading actor in ''Film/{{Nosferatu}}'', Max Schreck. Dr. Praetorius is named for a character in ''Bride of Frankenstein''. Santos is based on the legendary Mexican masked wrestler [[Wrestling/ElSanto Rodolfo "El Santo, The Silver Masked Man" Guzmán Huerta]], who you may recall from the ''[[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 MST3K]]'' treatment of "Film/SamsonVsTheVampireWomen"
to:
* {{Homage}}: Maxine Schreck is named after the leading actor in ''Film/{{Nosferatu}}'', Max Schreck. Dr. Praetorius is named for a character in ''Bride of Frankenstein''. Santos is based on the legendary Mexican masked wrestler [[Wrestling/ElSanto Rodolfo "El Santo, The Silver Masked Man" Guzmán Huerta]], who you may recall from the ''[[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 MST3K]]'' treatment of "Film/SamsonVsTheVampireWomen""Film/SamsonVsTheVampireWomen".
Changed line(s) 37 (click to see context) from:
* KungFuJesus
to:
* KungFuJesusKungFuJesus: The son of the Lord isn't afraid to fight hand-to-hand.
Changed line(s) 56 (click to see context) from:
* ProtagonistTitle
to:
* ProtagonistTitleProtagonistTitle: Yup, Jesus is the main character.
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Changed line(s) 4,5 (click to see context) from:
A delightfully schlock-filled B-movie from Canada, ''Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter'' is pretty much [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly what it sounds like it would be about]] - [[{{Jesus}} Jesus Christ]] has returned, and he's fighting vampires.
to:
A delightfully schlock-filled B-movie from Canada, ''Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter'' is pretty much [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly what it sounds like it would be about]] - [[{{Jesus}} [[UsefulNotes/{{Jesus}} Jesus Christ]] has returned, and he's fighting vampires.
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* BiTheWay: Maggie is first seen making out with another woman, and ends up dating Santos.
* BigBad: Dr. Praetorious, the MadScientist making vamps immune to the Sun.
* BigBad: Dr. Praetorious, the MadScientist making vamps immune to the Sun.
* ProtagonistTitle
Changed line(s) 56 (click to see context) from:
* SecondComing
to:
* SecondComingRoleCalled
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Changed line(s) 1,3 (click to see context) from:
->''The Power of Christ impales you! ''
-->-- {{Tagline}}
-->-- {{Tagline}}
to:
[[caption-width-right:275:''[[{{Tagline}} The Power of Christ impales
-->-- {{Tagline}}
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Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
** To a certain extent Maxine Shrek and Johnny Golgotha [[spoiler: and possiblyFather Eustace]] count as well, as Father Eustace mentions that both were do-gooders heavily involved in the Catholic Church before they were turned into vampires. [[spoiler: Maxine gets turned back into a human like Mary does (as does the woman that El Santos liked), but Johnny and Father Eustace are killed out right]]
to:
** To a certain extent Maxine Shrek and Johnny Golgotha [[spoiler: and possiblyFather possibly Father Eustace]] count as well, as Father Eustace mentions that both were do-gooders heavily involved in the Catholic Church before they were turned into vampires. [[spoiler: Maxine gets turned back into a human like Mary does (as does the woman that El Santos liked), but Johnny and Father Eustace are killed out right]]
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Changed line(s) 57 (click to see context) from:
* ShoutOut: The Virgin Mary says, about lesbians, "Oh, God loves them. They get so much done in a day, don't you think?" This is a paraphrase of a line from a TheKidsInTheHall sketch.
to:
* ShoutOut: The Virgin Mary says, about lesbians, "Oh, God loves them. They get so much done in a day, don't you think?" This is a paraphrase of a line from a TheKidsInTheHall Series/TheKidsInTheHall sketch.
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Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
* MaskedLuchador: El Santos, CaptainErsatz to legendary Mexican luchador ElSanto.
to:
* MaskedLuchador: El Santos, CaptainErsatz to legendary Mexican luchador ElSanto.Wrestling/ElSanto.
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Changed line(s) 31 (click to see context) from:
* {{Homage}}: Maxine Schreck is named after the leading actor in ''Film/{{Nosferatu}}'', Max Schreck. Dr. Praetorius is named for a character in ''Bride of Frankenstein''. Santos is based on the legendary Mexican masked wrestler [[Wrestling/ElSanto Rodolfo "El Santo, The Silver Masked Man" Guzmán Huerta]], who you may recall from the ''MST3K'' treatment of "Film/SamsonVsTheVampireWomen"
to:
* {{Homage}}: Maxine Schreck is named after the leading actor in ''Film/{{Nosferatu}}'', Max Schreck. Dr. Praetorius is named for a character in ''Bride of Frankenstein''. Santos is based on the legendary Mexican masked wrestler [[Wrestling/ElSanto Rodolfo "El Santo, The Silver Masked Man" Guzmán Huerta]], who you may recall from the ''MST3K'' ''[[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 MST3K]]'' treatment of "Film/SamsonVsTheVampireWomen"
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Changed line(s) 31 (click to see context) from:
* {{Homage}}: Maxine Schreck is named after the leading actor in ''Film/{{Nosferatu}}'', Max Schreck. Dr. Praetorius is named for a character in ''Bride of Frankenstein''. Santos is based on the legendary Mexican masked wrestler [[Wrestling/ElSanto Rodolfo "El Santo, The Silver Masked Man" Guzmán Huerta]], who you may recall from the ''MST3K'' treatment of "SamsonVsTheVampireWomen"
to:
* {{Homage}}: Maxine Schreck is named after the leading actor in ''Film/{{Nosferatu}}'', Max Schreck. Dr. Praetorius is named for a character in ''Bride of Frankenstein''. Santos is based on the legendary Mexican masked wrestler [[Wrestling/ElSanto Rodolfo "El Santo, The Silver Masked Man" Guzmán Huerta]], who you may recall from the ''MST3K'' treatment of "SamsonVsTheVampireWomen""Film/SamsonVsTheVampireWomen"
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Changed line(s) 50 (click to see context) from:
* ObviousStuntDouble: While the shot's convincing in the movie proper, the outakes in the credits show the double for [[ActionGirl Mary Magnum]]'s motorbike stunts without ''[[CrosscastRole his]]'' helmet on (but wearing the, presumably padded, catsuit).
to:
* ObviousStuntDouble: While the shot's convincing in the movie proper, the outakes in the credits show the double for [[ActionGirl Mary Magnum]]'s motorbike stunts without ''[[CrosscastRole his]]'' helmet on (but wearing the, presumably padded, catsuit). That said, while the stunt double's ''gender'' is pretty well hidden in the film, the fact that the double's catsuit is a completely different shade of red makes it obvious when he's in the shot.
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Changed line(s) 17 (click to see context) from:
* DeusExMachina - Obviously. Reaches its logical conclusion when Jesus is off fighting vampires, Dr. Praetorius is watching it on TV, and suddenly, Jesus burst into the room...
to:
* DeusExMachina - DeusExMachina: Obviously. Reaches its logical conclusion when Jesus is off fighting vampires, Dr. Praetorius is watching it on TV, and suddenly, Jesus burst into the room...
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Changed line(s) 13,17 (click to see context) from:
* AntiVillain / HarmlessVillain: the thrift store clerk is working with the vampires but is fairly harmless and for the most part fairly lazy about his villany.
* ChristianityIsCatholic - When Jesus shows up to help Christians fight vampires, guess which denomination he shows up among? That said, it is one ''swingin[='=]'' Catholic Church.
* ClownCar - How many atheists fit into a single car?
** LampshadeHanging applied: When the second wave attacks, Jesus throws his hands up in confusion.
* CoconutSuperpowers - The makers of this low-budget film had a problem: Vampire films necessitate a lot of nighttime scenes, which means nighttime shooting, which means a lot of expensive lights, power concerns, fire hazards, etc. How to get around this problem? Make the movie about vampires gaining the ability to walk in daylight. Suddenly, a budget constraint becomes a story element!
* ChristianityIsCatholic - When Jesus shows up to help Christians fight vampires, guess which denomination he shows up among? That said, it is one ''swingin[='=]'' Catholic Church.
* ClownCar - How many atheists fit into a single car?
** LampshadeHanging applied: When the second wave attacks, Jesus throws his hands up in confusion.
* CoconutSuperpowers - The makers of this low-budget film had a problem: Vampire films necessitate a lot of nighttime scenes, which means nighttime shooting, which means a lot of expensive lights, power concerns, fire hazards, etc. How to get around this problem? Make the movie about vampires gaining the ability to walk in daylight. Suddenly, a budget constraint becomes a story element!
to:
* AntiVillain / HarmlessVillain: the The thrift store clerk is working with the vampires but is fairly harmless and for the most part fairly lazy about his villany.
*ChristianityIsCatholic - ChristianityIsCatholic: When Jesus shows up to help Christians fight vampires, guess which denomination he shows up among? That said, it is one ''swingin[='=]'' Catholic Church.
*ClownCar - ClownCar: How many atheists fit into a single car?
**car? LampshadeHanging applied: When the second wave attacks, Jesus throws his hands up in confusion.
*CoconutSuperpowers - CoconutSuperpowers: The makers of this low-budget film had a problem: Vampire films necessitate a lot of nighttime scenes, which means nighttime shooting, which means a lot of expensive lights, power concerns, fire hazards, etc. How to get around this problem? Make the movie about vampires gaining the ability to walk in daylight. Suddenly, a budget constraint becomes a story element!
*
*
**
*
Changed line(s) 24,26 (click to see context) from:
* ExpositoryThemeTune - the closing theme, "Everybody Gets Laid Tonight".
* FaceHeelTurn - [[spoiler: Mary Magnum gets turned, but Jesus turns her back]].
** To a certain extent Maxine Shrek and Johnny Golgotha [[spoiler: and possibly Father Eustace]] count as well, as Father Eustace mentions that both were do-gooders heavily involved in the Catholic Church before they were turned into vampires. [[spoiler: Maxine gets turned back into a human like Mary does (as does the woman that El Santos liked), but Johnny and Father Eustace are killed out right]]
* FaceHeelTurn - [[spoiler: Mary Magnum gets turned, but Jesus turns her back]].
** To a certain extent Maxine Shrek and Johnny Golgotha [[spoiler: and possibly Father Eustace]] count as well, as Father Eustace mentions that both were do-gooders heavily involved in the Catholic Church before they were turned into vampires. [[spoiler: Maxine gets turned back into a human like Mary does (as does the woman that El Santos liked), but Johnny and Father Eustace are killed out right]]
to:
* ExpositoryThemeTune - the ExpositoryThemeTune: The closing theme, "Everybody Gets Laid Tonight".
*FaceHeelTurn - [[spoiler: Mary FaceHeelTurn: [[spoiler:Mary Magnum gets turned, but Jesus turns her back]].
** To a certain extent Maxine Shrek and Johnny Golgotha [[spoiler: andpossibly Father possiblyFather Eustace]] count as well, as Father Eustace mentions that both were do-gooders heavily involved in the Catholic Church before they were turned into vampires. [[spoiler: Maxine gets turned back into a human like Mary does (as does the woman that El Santos liked), but Johnny and Father Eustace are killed out right]]
*
** To a certain extent Maxine Shrek and Johnny Golgotha [[spoiler: and
Changed line(s) 28,29 (click to see context) from:
* FlatEarthAtheist - a couple dozen, who all attack Jesus for no particular reason.
* GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere - the atheists, as above, pouring out of an impossibly small car circus clown style.
* GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere - the atheists, as above, pouring out of an impossibly small car circus clown style.
to:
* FlatEarthAtheist - a FlatEarthAtheist: A couple dozen, who all attack Jesus for no particular reason.
*GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere - the GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere: The atheists, as above, pouring out of an impossibly small car circus clown style.
*
Changed line(s) 32,34 (click to see context) from:
* {{Homage}} - Maxine Schreck is named after the leading actor in ''Film/{{Nosferatu}}'', Max Schreck. Dr. Praetorius is named for a character in ''Bride of Frankenstein''. Santos is based on the legendary Mexican masked wrestler [[Wrestling/ElSanto Rodolfo "El Santo, The Silver Masked Man" Guzmán Huerta]], who you may recall from the ''MST3K'' treatment of "SamsonVsTheVampireWomen"
* ImportantHaircut - Jesus starts looking like depicted most often nowadays, with hippie hair, but that changes.
* ImprobableWeaponUser - Jesus manages to fight off vampires with bad breath - justified, in that he specifically ate a schawarma with extra garlic sauce. Also, Dr. Praetorius fights with [[BloodyHilarious somebody's organs]].
* ImportantHaircut - Jesus starts looking like depicted most often nowadays, with hippie hair, but that changes.
* ImprobableWeaponUser - Jesus manages to fight off vampires with bad breath - justified, in that he specifically ate a schawarma with extra garlic sauce. Also, Dr. Praetorius fights with [[BloodyHilarious somebody's organs]].
to:
* {{Homage}} - {{Homage}}: Maxine Schreck is named after the leading actor in ''Film/{{Nosferatu}}'', Max Schreck. Dr. Praetorius is named for a character in ''Bride of Frankenstein''. Santos is based on the legendary Mexican masked wrestler [[Wrestling/ElSanto Rodolfo "El Santo, The Silver Masked Man" Guzmán Huerta]], who you may recall from the ''MST3K'' treatment of "SamsonVsTheVampireWomen"
*ImportantHaircut - ImportantHaircut: Jesus starts looking like depicted most often nowadays, with hippie hair, but that changes.
*ImprobableWeaponUser - ImprobableWeaponUser: Jesus manages to fight off vampires with bad breath - justified, in that he specifically ate a schawarma with extra garlic sauce. Also, Dr. Praetorius fights with [[BloodyHilarious somebody's organs]].
*
*
Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
* LesbianVampire - justified, as lesbians are marginalized by society and thus easier prey.
to:
* LesbianVampire - justified, LesbianVampire: Justified, as lesbians are marginalized by society and thus easier prey.
Changed line(s) 42,44 (click to see context) from:
* MaleGaze - Especially aimed at Mary Magnum, and ''especially'' during the air-duct scene.
* MaskedLuchador - El Santos, CaptainErsatz to legendary Mexican luchador ElSanto.
* MaskPower - El Santos is able to ''cure vampirism'' with a mask (well, and Jesus' help).
* MaskedLuchador - El Santos, CaptainErsatz to legendary Mexican luchador ElSanto.
* MaskPower - El Santos is able to ''cure vampirism'' with a mask (well, and Jesus' help).
to:
* MaleGaze - MaleGaze: Especially aimed at Mary Magnum, and ''especially'' during the air-duct scene.
*MaskedLuchador - MaskedLuchador: El Santos, CaptainErsatz to legendary Mexican luchador ElSanto.
*MaskPower - MaskPower: El Santos is able to ''cure vampirism'' with a mask (well, and Jesus' help).
*
*
Changed line(s) 48 (click to see context) from:
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast - Johnny Golgotha, Maxine Shreck.
to:
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast - NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: Johnny Golgotha, Maxine Shreck.
Changed line(s) 50 (click to see context) from:
* NoOneCouldSurviveThat - To be fair, Jesus has a track record of prevailing even when being killed.
to:
* NoOneCouldSurviveThat - To be fair, NoOneCouldSurviveThat: [[JustifiedTrope Jesus has a track record of prevailing even when being killed.]]
Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
* OurVampiresAreDifferent - Specifically, they can walk around in daylight because they're [[{{Squick}} wearing the skin of virgin women]].
to:
* OurVampiresAreDifferent - OurVampiresAreDifferent: Specifically, they can walk around in daylight because they're [[{{Squick}} wearing the skin of virgin women]].
Changed line(s) 56 (click to see context) from:
* {{Retraux}} - Although certain things (such as cell phones and the date on the clothing store) make it clear that it was ''supposed'' to be set in what was then the present day (2001), the whole movie gives off a distinct '70s vibe.
to:
* {{Retraux}} - {{Retraux}}: Although certain things (such as cell phones and the date on the clothing store) make it clear that it was ''supposed'' to be set in what was then the present day (2001), the whole movie gives off a distinct '70s vibe.
Changed line(s) 58,59 (click to see context) from:
* ShoutOut - The Virgin Mary says, about lesbians, "Oh, God loves them. They get so much done in a day, don't you think?" This is a paraphrase of a line from a TheKidsInTheHall sketch.
* SpyCatsuit - Mary.
* SpyCatsuit - Mary.
to:
* ShoutOut - ShoutOut: The Virgin Mary says, about lesbians, "Oh, God loves them. They get so much done in a day, don't you think?" This is a paraphrase of a line from a TheKidsInTheHall sketch.
*SpyCatsuit - SpyCatsuit: Mary.
*
Changed line(s) 62,64 (click to see context) from:
* WholesomeCrossdresser - in a pretty clear Good Samaritan recreation.
* WorstNewsJudgmentEver - "CRITICAL LESBIAN SHORTAGE" (Fringe festival threatened!)
* YouDontLookLikeYou - About a few minutes into the movie, Jesus stops looking like Jesus. He gets haircut, gets a shave, and get his ears pierced for apparently no reason. Then slightly later, he stops wearing his robe and starts looking like a 70s exploitation movie star.
* WorstNewsJudgmentEver - "CRITICAL LESBIAN SHORTAGE" (Fringe festival threatened!)
* YouDontLookLikeYou - About a few minutes into the movie, Jesus stops looking like Jesus. He gets haircut, gets a shave, and get his ears pierced for apparently no reason. Then slightly later, he stops wearing his robe and starts looking like a 70s exploitation movie star.
to:
* WholesomeCrossdresser - in WholesomeCrossdresser: In a pretty clear Good Samaritan recreation.
*WorstNewsJudgmentEver - WorstNewsJudgmentEver: "CRITICAL LESBIAN SHORTAGE" (Fringe festival threatened!)
*YouDontLookLikeYou - YouDontLookLikeYou: About a few minutes into the movie, Jesus stops looking like Jesus. He gets haircut, gets a shave, and get his ears pierced for apparently no reason. Then slightly later, he stops wearing his robe and starts looking like a 70s exploitation movie star.
*
*
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Changed line(s) 19,21 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Praetorius''': How can you be here? I thought you were at the junkyard!
-->'''Jesus''': I'm ''EVERYWHERE!''
* DoubleStandard: [[spoiler: all of the named female vampires get turned back into humans, but all of the male vampires get killed]]
-->'''Jesus''': I'm ''EVERYWHERE!''
* DoubleStandard: [[spoiler: all of the named female vampires get turned back into humans, but all of the male vampires get killed]]
to:
-->'''Praetorius''': How can you be here? I thought you were at the junkyard!
-->'''Jesus''':junkyard!\\
'''Jesus''': I'm''EVERYWHERE!''
* DoubleStandard: [[spoiler: all of the named female vampires get turned back into humans, but all of the male vampires get killed]]''EVERYWHERE!''
-->'''Jesus''':
'''Jesus''': I'm
* DoubleStandard: [[spoiler: all of the named female vampires get turned back into humans, but all of the male vampires get killed]]
Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
* GroinAttack - On ''Jesus''.
to:
* GroinAttack - GroinAttack: On ''Jesus''.
Changed line(s) 36 (click to see context) from:
* JesusWasWayCool - And totally cool about gay people.
to:
* JesusWasWayCool - JesusWasWayCool: And totally cool about gay people.
Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:
* LastSecondChance - Jesus allows Dr. Praetorius one of these, because [[EasilyForgiven "Not even this separates you from My Love!"]] Praetorius doesn't take it.
to:
* LastSecondChance - LastSecondChance: Jesus allows Dr. Praetorius one of these, because [[EasilyForgiven "Not even this separates you from My Love!"]] Praetorius doesn't take it.
Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
* MadeOfPlasticine - the vampires are ''extremely'' easy to stake. Johnny Vegas gets a few kills in with some ''darts'', and our Lord and Saviour uses toothpicks.
to:
* MadeOfPlasticine - the MadeOfPlasticine: The vampires are ''extremely'' easy to stake. Johnny Vegas gets a few kills in with some ''darts'', and our Lord and Saviour uses toothpicks.
* MenAreTheExpendableGender: All of the named female vampires get turned back into humans, but all of the male vampires get killed.
Changed line(s) 61 (click to see context) from:
* VampireHunter
to:
* VampireHunterVampireHunter: Jesus.
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* ObviousStuntDouble: While the shot's convincing in the movie proper, the outakes in the credits show the double for [[ActionGirl Mary Magnum]]'s motorbike stunts without ''[[CrosscastRole his]]'' helmet on (but wearing the, presumably padded, catsuit).
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Changed line(s) 13 (click to see context) from:
* ClownCarBase - How many atheists fit into a single car?
to:
* ClownCarBase ClownCar - How many atheists fit into a single car?
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* FakeUltimateMook: The atheist kung-fu monk did much more showing off than actual fighting and went down in one kick.
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* LooksLikeJesus: Gradually inverted until Jesus completely stops looking like Jesus.
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One quote will suffice.
Deleted line(s) 4,6 (click to see context) :
->''So... yeah. [[SoBadItsGood This is pretty much the best movie of all time]].''
-->-- A Website/{{Youtube}} commenter
-->-- A Website/{{Youtube}} commenter
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* EasilyForgiven: Dr. Praetorious is offered a LastSecondChance by Jesus despite all of the evil he's done. Justified because it's ''Jesus''. [[spoiler: He refuses, and is killed shortly after.]]
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Can you really call it self-insert fic when Phil Caracas neither wrote nor directed?
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For reasons unknown to anyone in the Catholic Church, there have been a rash of attacks on lesbians by vampires, and to make matters worse, they're now immune to sunlight (the vampires, not the lesbians). There can be only one solution - to get Jesus from his [[HesJustHiding hiding place]], and take on the vampires, including the [[LesbianVampire lesbians they've turned into more vampires]]. Along the way, he'll have to enlist the help of Mexican wrestler El Santo, "Apostle to the Apostles" Mary Magnum, and... learn to do a snazzy musical number?
to:
For reasons unknown to anyone in the Catholic Church, there have been a rash of attacks on lesbians by vampires, and to make matters worse, they're now immune to sunlight (the vampires, not the lesbians). There can be only one solution - to get Jesus from his [[HesJustHiding hiding place]], and take on the vampires, including the [[LesbianVampire lesbians they've turned into more vampires]]. Along the way, he'll have to enlist the help of Mexican wrestler El Santo, Santos, "Apostle to the Apostles" Mary Magnum, and... learn to do a snazzy musical number?
* GoodSamaritan: In a modernized twist, the wounded Jesus is ignored by a clergyman and a police officer (who "stopped caring at 6PM"), but is rescued by a WholesomeCrossdresser.
Changed line(s) 31 (click to see context) from:
* {{Homage}} - Maxine Schreck is named after the leading actor in ''Film/{{Nosferatu}}'', Max Schreck. Dr. Praetorius is named for a character in ''Bride of Frankenstein''. Santos is based on the legendary Mexican masked wrestler Rodolfo "El Santo, The Silver Masked Man" Guzmán Huerta, who you may recall from the ''MST3K'' treatment of "SamsonVsTheVampireWomen"
to:
* {{Homage}} - Maxine Schreck is named after the leading actor in ''Film/{{Nosferatu}}'', Max Schreck. Dr. Praetorius is named for a character in ''Bride of Frankenstein''. Santos is based on the legendary Mexican masked wrestler [[Wrestling/ElSanto Rodolfo "El Santo, The Silver Masked Man" Guzmán Huerta, Huerta]], who you may recall from the ''MST3K'' treatment of "SamsonVsTheVampireWomen"
Changed line(s) 33 (click to see context) from:
* ImprobableWeaponUser - Jesus manages to fight off vampires with bad breath - justified, in that he specifically ate a sandwich with extra garlic sauce. Also, Dr. Praetorius fights with [[BloodyHilarious somebody's organs]].
to:
* ImprobableWeaponUser - Jesus manages to fight off vampires with bad breath - justified, in that he specifically ate a sandwich schawarma with extra garlic sauce. Also, Dr. Praetorius fights with [[BloodyHilarious somebody's organs]].
* PintSizedPowerhouse: Jesus is quite short, as is pointed out in the film. But he can still kick ass.
Changed line(s) 59 (click to see context) from:
* YouDontLookLikeYou - About a few minutes into the movie, Jesus stops looking like Jesus. He gets haircut, gets a shave, and get his ears pierced for apparently no reason. Then slightly later, he stops wearing his robe and [[SelfInsertFic pretty much becomes the actor playing Jesus]], [[MarySue but with super powers]].
to:
* YouDontLookLikeYou - About a few minutes into the movie, Jesus stops looking like Jesus. He gets haircut, gets a shave, and get his ears pierced for apparently no reason. Then slightly later, he stops wearing his robe and [[SelfInsertFic pretty much becomes the actor playing Jesus]], [[MarySue but with super powers]].starts looking like a 70s exploitation movie star.
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Condensing out those bullet point conversations...
Deleted line(s) 16,19 (click to see context) :
** Of course, Catholicism is your go-to anti-vampire denomination.
*** [[HellsingUltimate Protestants beg to differ]].
**** Please, which denomination is known for still performing exorcisms?
***** [[ComicallyMissingThePoint The Amish?]]
*** [[HellsingUltimate Protestants beg to differ]].
**** Please, which denomination is known for still performing exorcisms?
***** [[ComicallyMissingThePoint The Amish?]]
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namespace
Changed line(s) 5,11 (click to see context) from:
-->-- A YouTube commenter
A delightfully schlock-filled B-movie from Canada, ''Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter'' is pretty much [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly what it sounds like it would be about]] - [[{{Jesus}} Jesus Christ]] has returned, and he's fighting vampires.
Okay, a little more explanation, because we care.
For reasons unknown to anyone in the Catholic Church, there have been a rash of attacks on lesbians by vampires, and to make matters worse, they're now immune to sunlight (the vampires, not the lesbians). There can be only one solution - to get Jesus from his [[HesJustHiding hiding place]], and take on the vampires, including the [[LesbianVampire lesbians they've turned into more vampires]]. Along the way, he'll have to enlist the help of Mexican wrestler El Santo, "Apostle to the Apostles" Mary Magnum, and... learn to do a snazzy musical number?
A delightfully schlock-filled B-movie from Canada, ''Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter'' is pretty much [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly what it sounds like it would be about]] - [[{{Jesus}} Jesus Christ]] has returned, and he's fighting vampires.
Okay, a little more explanation, because we care.
For reasons unknown to anyone in the Catholic Church, there have been a rash of attacks on lesbians by vampires, and to make matters worse, they're now immune to sunlight (the vampires, not the lesbians). There can be only one solution - to get Jesus from his [[HesJustHiding hiding place]], and take on the vampires, including the [[LesbianVampire lesbians they've turned into more vampires]]. Along the way, he'll have to enlist the help of Mexican wrestler El Santo, "Apostle to the Apostles" Mary Magnum, and... learn to do a snazzy musical number?
to:
-->-- A YouTube Website/{{Youtube}} commenter
A delightfully schlock-filled B-movie from Canada, ''Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter'' is pretty much [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly what it sounds like it would be about]] - [[{{Jesus}} Jesus Christ]] has returned, and he's fightingvampires.
vampires.
Okay, a little more explanation, because wecare.
care.
For reasons unknown to anyone in the Catholic Church, there have been a rash of attacks on lesbians by vampires, and to make matters worse, they're now immune to sunlight (the vampires, not the lesbians). There can be only one solution - to get Jesus from his [[HesJustHiding hiding place]], and take on the vampires, including the [[LesbianVampire lesbians they've turned into more vampires]]. Along the way, he'll have to enlist the help of Mexican wrestler El Santo, "Apostle to the Apostles" Mary Magnum, and... learn to do a snazzy musicalnumber? number?
A delightfully schlock-filled B-movie from Canada, ''Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter'' is pretty much [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly what it sounds like it would be about]] - [[{{Jesus}} Jesus Christ]] has returned, and he's fighting
Okay, a little more explanation, because we
For reasons unknown to anyone in the Catholic Church, there have been a rash of attacks on lesbians by vampires, and to make matters worse, they're now immune to sunlight (the vampires, not the lesbians). There can be only one solution - to get Jesus from his [[HesJustHiding hiding place]], and take on the vampires, including the [[LesbianVampire lesbians they've turned into more vampires]]. Along the way, he'll have to enlist the help of Mexican wrestler El Santo, "Apostle to the Apostles" Mary Magnum, and... learn to do a snazzy musical
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* AntiVillain / HarmlessVillain: the thrift store clerk is working with the vampires but is fairly harmless and for the most part fairly lazy about his villany.
to:
* AntiVillain / HarmlessVillain: the thrift store clerk is working with the vampires but is fairly harmless and for the most part fairly lazy about his villany.
Changed line(s) 26,27 (click to see context) from:
* DoubleStandard: [[spoiler: all of the named female vampires get turned back into humans, but all of the male vampires get killed]]
* EliteMooks: The atheists have them.
* EliteMooks: The atheists have them.
to:
* DoubleStandard: [[spoiler: all of the named female vampires get turned back into humans, but all of the male vampires get killed]]
killed]]
* EliteMooks: The atheists have them.
* EliteMooks: The atheists have them.
Changed line(s) 29,30 (click to see context) from:
* ExpositoryThemeTune - the closing theme, "Everybody Gets Laid Tonight".
* FaceHeelTurn - [[spoiler: Mary Magnum gets turned, but Jesus turns her back]].
* FaceHeelTurn - [[spoiler: Mary Magnum gets turned, but Jesus turns her back]].
to:
* ExpositoryThemeTune - the closing theme, "Everybody Gets Laid Tonight".
Tonight".
* FaceHeelTurn - [[spoiler: Mary Magnum gets turned, but Jesus turns her back]].
* FaceHeelTurn - [[spoiler: Mary Magnum gets turned, but Jesus turns her back]].
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* FlatEarthAtheist - a couple dozen, who all attack Jesus for no particular reason.
to:
* FlatEarthAtheist - a couple dozen, who all attack Jesus for no particular reason.
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* {{Homage}} - Maxine Schreck is named after the leading actor in ''[[{{Film/Nosferatu}} Nosferatu]]'', Max Schreck. Dr. Praetorius is named for a character in ''Bride of Frankenstein''. Santos is based on the legendary Mexican masked wrestler Rodolfo "El Santo, The Silver Masked Man" Guzmán Huerta, who you may recall from the ''MST3K'' treatment of "SamsonVsTheVampireWomen"
to:
* {{Homage}} - Maxine Schreck is named after the leading actor in ''[[{{Film/Nosferatu}} Nosferatu]]'', ''Film/{{Nosferatu}}'', Max Schreck. Dr. Praetorius is named for a character in ''Bride of Frankenstein''. Santos is based on the legendary Mexican masked wrestler Rodolfo "El Santo, The Silver Masked Man" Guzmán Huerta, who you may recall from the ''MST3K'' treatment of "SamsonVsTheVampireWomen"
Changed line(s) 41 (click to see context) from:
* LeftForDead
to:
* LeftForDead LeftForDead
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* MookChivalry
* TheMusical
* TheMusical
to:
* MookChivalry
MookChivalry
*TheMusical TheMusical
*
Changed line(s) 52 (click to see context) from:
* OffTheShelfFX
to:
* OffTheShelfFX OffTheShelfFX
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***** [[ComicallyMissingThePoint The Amish?]]
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**** Please, which denomination is known for still performing exorcisms?
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None
Changed line(s) 52 (click to see context) from:
* QuoteSwearUnquote: "The power of Christ compels you, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!]]" from ''TheExorcist''.
to:
* QuoteSwearUnquote: "The power of Christ compels you, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!]]" from ''TheExorcist''.''Film/TheExorcist''.