History Film / JMenForever

Creator/TheFiresignTheatre's most successful production beyond its audio work was this GagDub homage to the Republic {{Film Serial}}s of the 1930-50s. The villainous [[BigBad Lightning Bug]] schemes to conquer the Earth with SexDrugsAndRockAndRoll, and only the J-Men -- a dedicated team of tight-assed straights...err, straight-jawed men-in-tights -- can stop him!

* {{Superhero}}es: Colonel Kink, aka Rocket Jock (Commando Cody/Larry Martin, aka the Rocketman), Spy Swatter (Spy Smasher), the Caped Madman ([[{{Shazam}} Captain Marvel]]) and the Lone Star (ComicBook/CaptainAmerica).

* CliffhangerCopout: Lampshaded at the end, when a montage reveals [[spoiler:that all the J-Men apparently killed during the movie escaped from their predicaments.]]

-->"THIS IS THE MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY. WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY HIDEOUS WAVES OF ROCK MUSIC FROM THE MOON! ALL RESIDENTS ARE REQUESTED TO FLEE MINDLESSLY, WHILE MEMBERS OF THE POLICE AND FIRE DEPARTMENTS WILL ASSEMBLE IN THEIR UNION HALLS FOR CONTRACT NEGOTIATIONS! [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere THIS IS A RECORDING]]."

* TakeThat: Plenty of jabs at popular targets of TheSeventies; e.g., the FBI, the Pentagon, and the UsefulNotes/VietnamWar. Plus Los Angeles and UsefulNotes/NewYorkCity.

* StockFootage: The oft-used scene from the 1933 Italian movie ''Deluge'' -- where New York City gets swamped by a tidal wave -- makes one more appearance.

-->"The air assault against the dope fiends will be led by our flying ace in the hole; yes, we're putting our [[JohnWayne Duke]] up! He knows [[DeathFromAbove how to handle]] any John or Jane who's driving around with a roach in their roadster. And our rock & roll attacks will be co-ordinated by our new Commissioner of Culture -- Puke Earwax! He knows the Bug's pirate radio station can be hidden in the innocent looking farmhouse, the suspiciously innocuous orphanage, the inconspicuous summerhouse. And as a last resort we'll defoliate every forest and park, incinerate every private garden, balcony and window box, to ensure that this marijuana menace will never take root here again!"

* FilmSerial: Clips from ''Undersea Kingdom'' (1936), ''S.O.S. Coast Guard'' (1937), ''The Fighting Devil Dogs'' (1938), ''The Mysterious Doctor Satan'' (1940), ''Film/TheAdventuresOfCaptainMarvel'' (1941), ''Spy Smasher'' (1942), ''Secret Service in Darkest Africa'' (1943), ''CaptainAmerica'' (1944), ''The Purple Monster Strikes'' (1945), ''The Crimson Ghost'' (1946), ''Radar Men from the Moon'' (1952), and ''Zombies of the Stratosphere'' (1952).

* CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon: Agent Burns indignantly refuses a bribe.
-->"I'm going to have you wrapped in the U.S flag and burned personally by the President, in high-octane American gasoline!"

* ExplosiveOverclocking

* LargeHamRadio: Justified as it's Machine Gun Kelly.
-->"Take them away and teach them to talk like me: ''reallll sexy!''

* {{Gesundheit}}

* TakeThat: Plenty of jabs at popular targets of TheSeventies; e.g., the FBI, the Pentagon, and the VietnamWar. Plus Los Angeles and NewYorkCity.

-->'''Spy Swatter:''' "Anything but that, fiend!"

-->"THIS IS THE MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY. WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY HIDEOUS WAVES OF ROCK MUSIC FROM THE MOON! ALL RESIDENTS ARE REQUESTED TO FLEE MINDLESSLY, WHILE MEMBERS OF THE POLICE AND FIRE DEPARTMENTS WILL ASSEMBLE IN THEIR UNION HALLS FOR CONTRACT NEGOTIATIONS! THIS IS A RECORDING."

* FunWithAcronyms: The rock & roll invasion is fought by the combined forces of the F.C.C. (Federal Culture Control), KRAP Radio, and M.U.S.A.C. (Military Underground Sugared Airwaves Command). Meanwhile wimpy security guard [[PunnyName Billy Batchit]] becomes 'The Caped Madman' by uttering the magic word "SH-BOOM!", enabling him to take on all the vices of a J-Man of the Secret Service: S for Sneaky, H for Hateful, B for Bigotted, O for Obnoxious, another O for Double-Obnoxious, and M for Mean!

* NiceJobBreakingItHero: Admiral Ballzy accidentally destroys a skyscraper while demonstrating the deadly effects of rock & roll music.

* FilmSerial: Clips from ''Undersea Kingdom'' (1936), ''S.O.S. Coast Guard'' (1937), ''The Fighting Devil Dogs'' (1938), ''The Mysterious Doctor Satan'' (1940), ''TheAdventuresOfCaptainMarvel'' (1941), ''Spy Smasher'' (1942), ''Secret Service in Darkest Africa'' (1943), ''CaptainAmerica'' (1944), ''The Purple Monster Strikes'' (1945), ''The Crimson Ghost'' (1946), ''Radar Men from the Moon'' (1952), and ''Zombies of the Stratosphere'' (1952).

FiresignTheatre's most successful production beyond its audio work was this GagDub homage to the Republic {{Film Serial}}s of the 1930-50s. The villainous [[BigBad Lightning Bug]] schemes to conquer the Earth with SexDrugsAndRockAndRoll, and only the J-Men -- a dedicated team of tight-assed straights...err, straight-jawed men-in-tights -- can stop him!

* {{Superhero}}es: Colonel Kink, aka Rocket Jock (Commando Cody/Larry Martin, aka the Rocketman), Spy Swatter (Spy Smasher), the Caped Madman (CaptainMarvel) and the Lone Star (CaptainAmerica).

* ComedicHeroicSociopath: The Caped Madman.
-->'''Caped Madman:''' "Dirty towelheads!"
-->'''Arab troops:''' "Wait, we're on your side! We're with the U.N!"
-->'''Caped Madman:''' "U.N., hey? I'll show your what we think of you One Worlders!" ''(machine-guns them InTheBack)''

* HeroicSociopath: The Caped Madman.
-->'''Caped Madman:''' "Dirty towelheads!"
-->'''Arab troops:''' "Wait, we're on your side! We're with the U.N!"
-->'''Caped Madman:''' "U.N., hey? I'll show your what we think of you One Worlders!" ''(machine-guns them InTheBack)''

FiresignTheatre's most successful production was this GagDub homage to the Republic {{Film Serial}}s of the 1930-50's. The villainous [[BigBad Lightning Bug]] schemes to conquer the Earth with SexDrugsAndRockAndRoll, and only the J-Men -- a dedicated team of tight-assed straights...err, straight-jawed men-in-tights -- can stop him!

* HoYay: Spy Swatter and Captain Duran
-->'''Spy Swatter:''' "Drugs are being smuggled out of your country by a hooded hood called the Lightning Bug."
-->'''Captain Duran:''' "It's true; some of our troops have even been growing marijuana in window boxes!"
-->'''Official:''' "Gentlemen, this is incredible...do you realise how butch you two look together?"

* LoudOfWar: Taken UpToEleven where the evil Lightning Bug's rock and roll runs cars off the road, destroys buildings [[spoiler:and eventually the Moon after he cranks up his stereo too loud.]]

* {{MIB}}s: The J-Men, though they appear not to know it.