History Film / CoolAsIce

A very strange 1991 film starring Music/VanillaIce. The director is David Kellogg, whose ADD directorial, er, "style" would be repeated in ''Film/InspectorGadget''.

* ChekhovsGun: The noisy machinery at the construction site. Don't expect this to make sense.

Originally she's repulsed by his approach (probably because their MeetCute involves Johnny accidentally knocking her off a horse), but before long, she finds his ImprobableHairstyle and 1991 catchphrases irresistible, [[CrazyJealousGuy much to her boyfriend's consternation.]] Along the way, he finds time to help some nerdy white people get their groove on at a local club, and have a FallingInLoveMontage at a construction site. But things start going sideways, as it turns out her family is in hiding from [[ObviouslyEvil bad guys]] (don't expect this to be adequately explained). Her father (Michael Gross) assumes Johnny is one of them just because... well, just because he ''is'' Vanilla Ice, basically. This culminates in a HostageSituation with Kathy's little brother.

* BlackBestFriend: Johnny has ''three!''

* FallingInLoveMontage: Johnny and Kathy frolic at a construction site, on a beach, on a horse, in a meadow, on a salt flat...

** As noted, he has no real particular reason to think Ice is connected with the criminals other than he saw them have a conversation. It's a small town, and everyone in town would have known who they were and why they were there by the time he gets around to accusing him of being their associate near the end.

-> ''"When a girl has a heart of stone, there's only one way to melt it. [[YouFailPhysicsForever Just add ice]]."''

** But it ''is'' the fricking cherry!

* IdiotBall: Way to show up on television while you're in the Witness Relocation Program, Mr. Winslow. Particularly in a news report apparently being broadcast nationwide.

* PacManFever: Averted; Kathy's little brother is occasionally seen playing various NES games, none of which involve wild controller mashing or Atari sound effects. In fact, it sounds at one point like he's actually playing ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros3'' for a good couple minutes straight.

* WitnessProtection: Kathy's family is under this, though her parents never bothered to tell her.
** Notably, the film neglects to include the ''protection'' part of the program, as apparently the same felons that are chasing Kathy's family are unimpeded in their ability to pursue them. The family would actually be under the protection of federal marshals, so the father's insistence there's nothing he can do but "be careful" is rather bizarre.
* WorstNewsJudgementEver: As the {{Podcast/Rifftrax}} of the movie points out, what exactly is newsworthy about a smart girl doing well in school? Obviously, it was contrived as a PlotDevice to get the dad on the television so the bad guys would see him, but the same could be accomplished more plausibly by having him unknowingly filmed in a crowd at some event that's actually newsworthy.
** It could be justified since it's a small town and local television stations do cover things that would otherwise be considered unnewsworthy in larger stations, but if that's the case, how did TheMafia know to watch a regional TV show?

* AluminumChristmasTrees: Ice at one point has the price tag still on his hat. This was actually popular in hip-hop circles in the early 90s. It was done to make sure everyone knew [[SkewedPriorities how expensive your designer name-brand clothing was]].

* TheNineties: Depressingly so.

* PacManFever: Averted; Kathy's little brother is occasionally seen playing various NES games, none of which involve wild controller mashing or Atari sound effects. In fact, it sounds at one point like he's actually playing SuperMarioBros 3 for a good couple minutes straight.

* SadTimesMontage: Johnny has one of these [[SoundtrackDissonance set to early 90s dance-pop.]]

* TheNicknamer: Upon finding out that his LoveInterest is named Kathy, Johnny immediately decides to call her "Kat." She appears to be totally indifferent to the name, never even commenting on it.

* TheNicknamer: Upon finding out that his LoveInterest is named Kathy, he immediately decides to call her "Kat." She appears to be totally indifferent to the name, never even commenting on it.

* BehindTheBlack: When Kathy is walking home from the Sugar Shack (in the middle of the street, for some reason), the bad guys spot her and try to run her over. Ice somehow manages to ride up next to her on a loud sporting motorcycle without anyone hearing or noticing him before he appears on camera.

--> ''"When a girl has a heart of stone, there's only one way to melt it. [[YouFailPhysicsForever Just add ice]]."''

--> ''"When a girl has a heart of stone, there's only one way to melt it. [[YouFailPhysicsForever Just add ice]]."''

[[caption-width-right:275:''"In the house, and the house is packed."'']] A very strange 1991 film starring Music/VanillaIce. The director is David Kellogg, whose ADD directorial, er, "style" would be repeated in ''Film/InspectorGadget''.

*** It actually makes sense in that they were supposed to be a hip hop group on tour (tho what they actually are is never directly addressed), and would have many traveling and stage clothes. Where they WERE keeping them all (sidecars we never see for some reason?) isn't, especially give how much room the 16 or so outfits Vanilla wears through the movie would take up a travel case at least. Perhaps they were just very efficient packers.

* SceneryPorn: It's one of the best looking bad movies in existence. The film's cinematographer, Creator/JanuszKaminski, would later [[SchindlersList win]] [[SavingPrivateRyan two]] Oscars.

-->''"Oh yeah, Kat! Words of wisdom: drop that zero and get with the hero."''

The film is a good old-fashioned [[CoolPeopleRebelAgainstAuthority teen rebel]] flick, fashioned to fit into the strange window of time that was the early 1990s hip-hop scene. Ice plays Johnny Van Owen, the leader of a hip hop/dance crew/biker gang/[[WhatExactlyIsHisJob who knows]] who are passing through a small, predominately white, conservative town. One of their bikes goes on the fritz, but as luck would have it, they run across a [[CloudCuckoolander kooky old couple]] who offer to fix it, and even lets them stay for a few days. What does Johnny do with all this free time? Scope out the pretty honors student down the street (Kristen Minter) and put the moves on her of course, her steady boyfriend be damned.

Originally she's repulsed by his approach (probably because their MeetCute involves Johnny accidentally knocking her off a horse), but before long, she finds his ImprobableHairstyle and 1991 catchphrases irresistible, [[CrazyJealousGuy much to her boyfriend's consternation.]] But things start going sideways, as it turns out her family is in hiding from [[ObviouslyEvil bad guys]] (don't expect this to be adequately explained). Her father (Michael Gross) assumes Johnny is one of them just because... well, just because he ''is'' Vanilla Ice, basically. This culminates in a HostageSituation.