History Fanfic / TheSomewhatCrackedMindOfUchihaItachi

* NeverLiveItDown: In-universe, Sasuke accidentally blowing up an opponent's heart. He was ''trying'' to rupture a tendon.

** Itachi is a non-missing nin and has not killed off his family.

* CoolAndUnusualPunishment: Itachi's been raising cain and causing well-intentioned havoc thanks to his summer camp, leaving several teams of very-tough graduates. His punishment? He's now the sensei of Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura.

Itachi chooses a different path and arranges for several academy children to receive extra training via "ninja summer camp" leading to some interesting ForWantOfANail effects. Can be found [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8560313/1/The-Somewhat-Cracked-Mind-of-Uchiha-Itachi here.]]

** Yoshino Nara, Shikamaru's mom, at one point killed a guy with her ''sandal''.

** The main one is the delay of the Uchiha coup by the Sandaime using Itachi's recruitment of Kisame to hint that he considers Itachi a good successor (despite Itachi personally having no interest). This causes the coup to eventually [[spoiler:turn into an inter-clan civil war years later when Naruto is noted as the preferred successor. Apparently, they weren't willing to accept second-best, with an Uchiha teaching a future Hokage rather than an Uchiha ''being'' Hokage, as Fugaku lampshades.[[note]]Hilariously enough, in canon there is an Uchiha who ''does'' want to be Hokage and may have the potential to get there: Sarada Uchiha, Sasuke and Sakura's daughter.[[/note]]]]

** Itachi is weaker than he was in canon due to not having the Mangekyo Sharingan. Still a top-class ninja, though.
*** Itachi himself is a weird case. While he doesn't have the Mangekyo Sharingan, he also doesn't have the mortal, debilitating illness that more-or-less killed him in canon (and was the only reason he lost to Sasuke when they finally had their FinalBattle).

* FaceFault: Done by Obito when he overhears Sasuke asking him (well, his spirit, at his grave) to teach him strong fire jutsu's to burn [[BunnyEarsLawyer Kakashi's]] porn as he snuck into Konoha to spy.

* TheRival: Deidara and Itachi keep running into each other on missions, though they don't know each other's exact names (Itachi knows him as "the crazy Iwa nin" and Deidara as "that insufferable Uchiha). When they finally meet outside of combat, it's funny.

* AdaptationalHeroism: Kisame befriended Itachi and is now a Konoha shinobi.

* SentientWeapon: Samehada. She's a girl and likes Lee, meaning he gets her if Kisame dies. She also argues with Kisame a lot.

** Rasa, the Yondaime Kazekage and The Sandaime Hokage didn't die during the Suna-Oto invasion.
** Due to the delay of the coup, many of the Uchiha's are spared, at least until the in-clan civil war. Even then, Fugaku, Mikoto, Shisui, [[NeverMessWithGranny Mira]] and [[OCStandIn Noriko]] are spared off.

** Rasa's decision to hire the Akatsuki to participate (one of whom happened to be a missing ninja from his own village no less) is equally disastrous for Oto.

** After Mizuki starts what could be a StartOfDarkness, Kisame notes that his condition would be referred to in Mist as "The Emo" which leads to "Rage, resentment, crazy plots against your pals, possibly joining up with insane plotters" referencing both Sasuke and Mizuki's canon paths involving Orochimaru and the fandom tendency to call Sasuke emo.

** Mizuki's love of giant shuriken being commented on.

* AccidentalTruth: Chapter 9 has Mizuki do this totally by accident when trying to distract Kabuto, where he blabs about the Uchiha's current status in the village, their and others' problems with Danzou, and something surprisingly similar to the original coup plan (shocking the older Uchiha nearby). He actually doesn't know that much about any of the three due to his low security clearance as a chunin, thus making it this trope to himself, too. When Sasuke and Naruto find out way later how close to right he was about the coup, they're both shocked.

* EvilPlan: Orochimaru had his canon one of wanting Sasuke's body [[spoiler: but he also wanted to force both Sasuke and Itachi to get the Mangekyo so he could get the Eternal Mangekyo to get the Rinnegan to unlock the secrets of ninjutsu itself.]] The plan has issues when it seems Sasuke is having trouble getting the Sharingan in the first place, and Orochimaru is overjoyed when he finds out the kid finallry did it.

** Danzou only has Shisui's eye and not a store of extra Shraingan due to the massacre not occurring. [[spoiler: His over-reliance on the former allows Mizuki and Iruka to beat him once they figure out a way around it.]]

* RuleOfFunny: WordOfGod is that the fic runs on this more than anything else, along with RuleOfCool as a reaction to how dark and sad canon was getting when the fic started out.

* MythologyGag: When Sasuke asks Itachi what would happen to Shisui if he revealed to Ino, Sakura and Shino the identity of his girlfriend, he states:

* RuleOfFunny: WordOfGod is that the fic will run on this more than anything else, as a reaction to how dark and sad canon was getting when the fic was started.

* FaceFault: Done by Obito when he overhears Sasuke asking him (well, his spirit, at his grave) to teach him strong fire jutsu's to burn [[BunnyEarsLawyer Kakashi's]] porn as he sneaked into Konoha to spy.

* NoBudget: The Konoha Military Police constantly has its budget cut [[spoiler:due to Danzo's attempts to isolate the Uchiha from the village]]. They get by thanks to a lot of skimming, but eventually they're forced to go on a gambling spree during the Chunin Exams.

* NotSoOmniscientCouncilOfBickering: Suna's advisory council can't agree on ''anything''. The only thing they every agreed on in-story was who would replace Rasa as Kazekage (Chiyo), but she refused. They made Baki acting Kazekage instead, but since he lacks the necessary strength to take the position permanently, he doesn't have the clout to get things done. At one point, while watching one of their meetings, ''Shukaku'' states that the Konoha 12 (which consists of a bunch of preteens) have more productive meetings.

* RealityEnsues: Inoichi might be the head of Torture and Interrogation, but seeing his daughter so enthusiastic to follow in his footsteps obviously disturbs him.

** Art, to Deidara. He's horrified to find out that the piece he bought at auction for his sensei was made by an Uchiha.

* BigBrotherInstinct: Iruka and Mizuki to Naruto. Mizuki even threatens a nurse with giant shuriken for ignoring him when Naruto is clearly sick.

* ButtMonkey: [[spoiler:Orochimaru]] after being forced to return to Konoha. He is the recipient of much abuse from every single ninja jonin rank and above, particularly Tsunade.

** Most of Konoha is filled with crazy people. The Sand Siblings are left off-kilter when they realize they're relatively sane compared to most Konoha shinobi.

* EvilPlan: Orochimaru had his canon one of wanting Sasuke's body [[spoiler: but he also wanted to force both Sasuke and Itachi to get the Mangekyo so he could get the Eternal Mangekyo to get the Rinnegan to unlock the secrets of ninjutsu itself.]] The plan has issues when it seems Sasuke is having trouble getting the Sharingan in the first place, and Orochimaru is overjoyed when he finds out the kid finally did it.
* [[FanGirl Fan Girls]]: Samehada ''hates'' them.

* ForWantOfANail: The main one is the delay of the Uchiha coup by the Sandaime using Itachi's recruitment of Kisame to hint that he considers Itachi a good successor (despite Itachi personally having no interest). This causes the coup to eventually [[spoiler:turn into an inter-clan civil war years later when Naruto is noted as the preferred successor. Apparently, they weren't willing to accept second-best, with an Uchiha teaching a future Hokage rather than an Uchiha ''being'' Hokage, as Fugaku lampshades.[[note]]Hilariously enough, in canon there is an Uchiha who ''does'' want to be Hokage and may have the potential to get there: Sarada Uchiha, Sasuke and Sakura's daughter.[[/note]]]]

** Thanks to Mizuki staying good and eventually adopting Naruto with Iruka, Naruto gains another sibling-figure in the form of Mizuki's crush/girlfriend Tsubaki, a medic-nin. Then, during the Academy, Tsubaki becomes the demonstrator for the medic-nin profession. Since the Uchiha Clan Massacre never happened and Sasuke isn't obsessed with gaining more power to kill Itachi, he becomes incredibly impressed with Tsubaki's demonstration; so impressed that he ended up becoming Team 7's medic instead of Sakura.

* TheGadfly: Shisui seems to be this. At one point he claims ''he'' is Itachi's fiancé.

* GoodParents: The Konoha 12's parents, all of whom are incredibly reasonable and supportive, if a bit over-protective (understandable, considering what the kids get up to). Special mention must go to Fugaku (after getting that stick out of his ass), who, while stern, nonetheless pushes Sasuke to do the best he can with his chosen field (even if he doesn't understand why Sasuke chose to become a ''medic-nin'' of all things).
* HeelFaceTurn: Mizuki, more accurately he's prevented from making a FaceHeelTurn in the first place.

** Elder Chiyo could have easily been Kazekage if she had wanted to. Key words being: "if she had ''wanted'' to".

* NotSoOmniscientCouncilOfBickering: Suna's advisory council can't agree on ''anything''. The only thing they every agreed on in-story was who would replace Rasa as Kazekage (Chiyo), but she refused. They made Baki acting Kazekage instead, but since he lack's the necessary strength to take the position permanently, he doesn't have the clout to get things done. At one point, while watching one of their meetings, ''Shukaku'' states that the Konoha 12 (which consists of a bunch of preteens) have more productive meetings.

* ScrewThisImOuttaHere: Gaara found himself being treated better in Konoha than Suna. So in regards to the upcoming invasion, he tells his siblings the following: "I abandoned the plan a week ago, I'm staying here."

** Averted, and Itachi is determined to try and get Neji to see one; however once Gai is Neji's sensei the therapists assume ''Gai'' wants the therapy and all run away.

* ChronicHeroSyndrome: By the time the Wave mission rolls around, most, if not all of the Konoha 12, have it. Kisame blames Itachi.
* CloudCuckoolander: Itachi, as noted by the title, is a bit off. During the invasion the kids wonder if he's finally fully cracked [[spoiler: after he starts laughing when he sees a bunch of genin kill two members of Akatsuki]]. He's okay, though.

* TeenageRunaway: After the Invasion, the Sand Siblings refuse to leave Konoha unless their father is ousted from power. They get by thanks to the charity of their friends and the village's willingness to temporarily induct them into their ranks as thanks for their aid.

** [[spoiler:Shin is the only one of the liberated ROOT kids who could act like a functioning individual in normal society. Not even he is sure why]].

--> '''Neji''': Rigged Machine?
--> '''Asuma''': Kami Mocking you?

* RunningGag: Mizuki's love of giant shuriken being commented on.

** Itachi calling ROOT Danzou's hobby and pestering him with craft supplies to try and make him get a new one.
** For a long time, whether or not Iruka actually did have a crush on someone and was very good at hiding it or was just yanking the Official Couple's chains. [[spoiler: He did, on Kakashi.]]

* ArchnemesisDad: How Gaara sees the Fourth Kazekage. The warning that he gives to the Konoha ninja makes this very explicit.

* BloodKnight: Kisame calls himself such in the first chapter. Mizuki has shades as well, since his usual response to a situation is giant shuriken.

* FriendToAllChildren: Itachi is a surprisingly good teacher and good with children despite his utter lack of social skills.

* TheGambler: ''The entire police force'' during the chunin preliminaries, due to budget cuts. Thanks to knowing about the Konoha kids, they make a killing.

* GoodParents: The Konoha 12's parents, all of whom are incredibly reasonable and supportive, if a bit over-protective (understandable, considering what the kids get up to). Special mention must go to Fugaku (after getting that stick out of his ass), who, while stern, nonetheless pushes Sasuke to do the best he can with his chosen field (even if he doesn't understand why Sasuke chose to become a ''medic-nin'').

* InSpiteOfANail: Outside of Itachi being forced to teach Team 7, all the team are exactly the same.

* NeverMessWithGranny: Uchiha Elder Mira and her friend villager Elder Koharu.
* NiceJobFixingItVillain: Orochimaru might have had a chance against Itachi if the Fourth Kazekage hadn't hired Akatsuki as invaison backup. Sasori and Kakuzu both want him dead too much to let him be, leading to a MeleeATrois.

* NotNowKiddo: The Sand Siblings have this problem, even when they're effectively the only reason why Konoha didn't demand reparations from Suna and are trusted enough to sit in on council meetings. They get around it by telling Chiyo (one of the only councilors willing to listen to them) their ideas and having her suggest them.

* OddFriendship: Itachi and pretty much anyone he's friends with, especially Kisame. Ino and Shino form one as well, and even plan to go into Torture and Interrogation together as a team.

* ThereAreNoTherapists: Averted, and Itachi is determined to try and get Neji to see one; however once Gai is Neji's sensei the therapists assume ''Gai'' wants the therapy and all run away.

* WorfHadTheFlu: Itachi is weaker than canon due to not having the Mangekyo Sharingan. Still a top-class ninja, though.