History Characters / ItsMyLife

Insane Guy of DOOM's alter ego here is your typical fanfiction nut who is only ever acquainted with half of her source works, [[has CloudCuckooLander the approximate reasoning of a three-year-old child]] and [[RougeAnglesOfSatin who is lucky if she can get a D- from spelling classes]]. Add in the fact that while she is able to write longer stories than Creator/SueMary, they aren't necessarily better in plot or characterization, and are still smeared in the same kind of {{Gorn}} humor that Sue Mary loves writing about, and finish with a pinch of MarySue [[SelfInsert self-insertion]]. Now you know what is wrong with [=MarrissaTheWriter=].

Insane Guy of DOOM's alter ego here is a CloudCuckooLander who is having trouble with her spelling and, while she is able to write longer stories than Creator/SueMary, they aren't necessarily better in plot or characterization. She has switched between a couple of sites, including [[Website/FanFictionDotNet FanFiction.Net]], Website/{{Tumblr}} and Website/ArchiveOfOurOwn.

-->'''Roslalonde:''' To be are apprentise yull have to don much more diffulct misshuns.
-->'''Robot:''' Yay / Lick the time we had to kill [[UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy JFK]].

-->What are u lossers doin here?

The first seen principal of Portal High School. She is revealed to be Caroline's mother and the idea for the name of Caroline's robotic body. She was killed by "Dog the Bownty Hunner" shortly after making an appearance, and was replaced by the [[FanFic/PortalThe4thMillenniumFranchise Business Magnet/"Man",]] who has an entry below.

[[WMG:Robot and Roslalonde Lettuce]]

[[WMG:Cave Jonson and Evil/"Bad" Teen Fortress 2]]

->I am CAVE JONSON who is GABE JONSONS more evil twin!

Gabe Jonson's EvilTwin and his self-made clones of Team Fortress 2, these are the main antagonists of the events taking place in the past.

Misspellings: Cabe Joneson

[[WMG:Doug Rattmann (the past)]]

In the past, Doug was working with Gabe Jonson after he renamed himself to Cave, and helped him build [=GLaDOS=].

[[WMG:Portal High School teachers]]

Only three teachers from Portal High School were ever named:

* a History teacher Mr. Pursell who is described as "dumb" and blushes from love notes directed to someone else; Chapter seven implies that he is actually Steve Purcell, creator of SamAndMax.
* a Math teacher [[Literature/HarryPotter Mr. Sanpe]] [[ShoutOut (lol)]] who is given a slightly longer backstory: he used to be a teacher in Britain but he killed the principal and escaped the judgment so he came to teach at Portal High School and changed his name [[spoiler:only to be killed by Jenny Weasley]]. He therefore was very pissed off at everyone, especially hermaphrodites, and used to give Scot a lot of F's;
* another Math teacher, "Mr. Logik Edtor" / Mr. Logik, who does not hurl abuse at the students, but [[EverybodyHatesMathematics fails to make the class interesting]].

[[WMG:UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln]]

->“Oh wems this is badder than thot. We most help Marrissa but how.” Abraman Liknan (AN ITS THE PAST REMBER SO HE CAN PRESDENT)

The President of the United States during "the past" which appears [[ArtisticLicenseHistory to be the 90s]]. He has awarded Marrissa, Teen Fortress 2, Ratmann and Gabe Johnson medals for their acts of bravery in ITS MY LIFE! and keeps a keen interest in Marrissa. Currently he is using [[Film/MenInBlack Agents J and K]] to watch over her in the future.

Tropes:

* AnachronismStew - He's the president in a time period with computers and televisions, Ferraris and MileyCyrus (but not Music/JustinBieber or Film/BackToTheFuture).

[[WMG:Agents J and K]]

->“Yes Mr. Prisedent Lincan we haf disvocered that Marrissa Robers is in Hunger Games troble!!” Deadpanned K wile J did a funny joke.

Previously having been members of the Film/MenInBlack, they now act as time traveling spies for President Lincoln to watch over Marrissa. They have been tasked with recruiting Teen Fortress 2 to rescue her from the Hunger Games. And they are dressing in red.

Tropes:

* ADayInTheLimelight - They star in chapter five (actually chapter seven) of THE MARRISSA GAMES, appropriately titled "J AN KS WUBULOS ADVENTURE".
* BerserkButton - K is ''very'' insistent that meat is supposed to be inside people, not [[VideoGame/AmnesiaTheDarkDescent growing on walls]].

[[WMG:Videogame/HalfLife College]]

Teen Fortress 2 studied here after graduating from Portal High School.

** Previous to TheEighties: ''Film/BackToTheFuture'' is not out yet.

* {{Expy}} - Shares many traits with [[LightAndDarkTheAdventuresOfDarkYagami D'arkYagam'i]]. Her SelfInsert MarySue OC lacks an OverlyLongName, she introduces LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters who are either taken from canon or are her reviewers, has developed her stories into a shared universe, found her own TV Tropes page and is writing a Literature/TheHungerGames crossover.

* WhatCouldHaveBeen - The original draft of ITS MY LIFE! had Chell take the role of Marrissa, complete with her being pregnant with Wheatly's child, but the author didn't deem it funny enough. There is still a bit of a Wheatly/Marissa/Chell LoveTriangle persistent in the final fic.

* PregnantBadass

* WhatCouldHaveBeen - The original draft of ITS MY LIFE! had Chell take the role of Marrissa, but the author didn't deem it funny enough.

* AnachronismStew - He's the president in a time period with computers and televisions, Ferraris and MileyCyrus (but not JustinBieber or Film/BackToTheFuture).

In this verse, [=GLaDOS=] is the evil computer system who, upon learning her origins, becomes a goth emo who listens to [[AvrilLavigne Avril Lavinge]] and [[MyChemicalRomance My Kemical Romace]] and attempts sewisiding. However, she doesn't quite succeed, is sent to Adroid Hell and returns, and starts causing more mess.

* [[DrivenToSuicide Driven to Sewiside]]: She kills herself by "cutting" when she learns her origins.

* {{Goth}} {{Emo}}: Purportedly; she appears to be a lot more of an EmoTeen.

* DrivenToSuicide: She kills herself by "cutting" when she learns her origins.

* {{Goth}} {{Emo}}

** Or that Skepkitty is actually a he.

So far, the only person to be mentioned in all the MarrissaTheWriter stories and, in a lot of respects, Marissa's second-in-command, to the point where she owns [[FanFic/ITSMYLIFEExpandedUniverse at least a couple of fanfics set in a distinct Marrissaverse]].

[[/WMG]]

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Portal Labs]]

Seen in: ITS MY LIFE!, THE MARRISSA GAMES

!Protagonists

[[WMG:Marrissa Roberts]]

->Why cant I jus be a normal girl going to high school an have a boyfriend that isn’t space lost!

->MARRISSA ROBERTS - Im Chells sister but more hot an pretty. I have spesal powers gived to me by the ingineer lick space fly an brething! Aso I have detektive power an MAGA PAWNCH an electic stuff. Im merried to Wheatly an we have a dotter named Chell Junor in onor of my dead sister.

A MarySue protagonist, Marrissa Roberts starts out as a test subject within "Portal Labs" until Glaods reveals that she is in fact Chell's sister with speshul powers and promptly sewisides. Then Marrissa starts gradually fucking up the entire ''Portal'' canon and the entire ''world'' which is ultimately turned into a battle arena between her and ''her evil clone''.

* MarySue
* NewPowersAsThePlotDemands
* PregnantBadass
* SelfInsert

Misspellings: [[AllThereInTheManual Marrisa Robers]], Marissa, Marrisser, Marrisssa

[[WMG:Wheatly]]

->You bloody sod stop oh god save the queen!

->WHEATLY THE ROBO BALL - Wheetly is my hubby an we luve eachotter very much. He gotted arms an legs now from that JERK BOBOT Altass dead body copse. Sum JERKS thank hes dum but Wheatlys not, hes relay brave an is POWERFUL BAD ARSE becos hes got the power of love!

Marrissa's love interest, Wheetly is a robot ball in charge of the "relax hotel" before ascending to power and being shot into space by Chell. From there Glados and Marrissa find him and Marrissa brings him back to Portal Labs, where he is involved in a love trangle between Marrissa and Chell, teams up with Atlas and P-Body against Marrissa and dies. From there Marrissa brings his past self to the furture and eventually with Chell dying Whaatly merries Marrissa and they have a robot ball-human hybrid child.

* ADayInTheLimelight: Two chapters of ITS MY LIFE! and one of TEEN FORTRESS 2 are written from Wheelty's POV, but that should not be taken as a sign of good writing: (From Blog/TheHalfWorld [=MSTing=])
-->Wheatley’s POV is worse than Marissa’s. Not only do we have to endure the OOC-ness and the misuse of British slang, we also have to endure the Sue getting praised.
* DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch
* PowerOfLove

Misspellings: Wheetly, Whaatly, Wheelty

[[WMG:Chell]]

->SHAKE IT BAKE IT BOOTY QUAKE IT ROLL IT A ROUND!

This fic's take on Chell is a brain-damaged woman on whose head the only thought is [[SymBionicTitan booty-quaking]] (though, upon becoming a zombie she seems to be smarter and the whole brain damage thing may be orchestrated by [=GLaDOS=]). However, minus brain damage, she is a fairly nice woman and knows that [=GLaDOS=] is evil.

* WhatCouldHaveBeen - The original draft of ITS MY LIFE! had Chell take the role of Marrissa, but the author didn't deem it funny enough.

Misspellings: Cheel, Schell

[[WMG:Doug Rattmann]]

->Silly CHELLGADOS you cannt hurt me becos… IVE GOT BALLS OF STEEL!

->RAT MAN - A guy hoo fites the bad robots lick GLaDOS an ATLAS AN P-POTY! He replased his man thingys wif BALLS OF STEEL an was lost in spase an died or is he? Winkwhinkstoryplotdevelop

The author of the eponymous "the cake is a lie" phrase, Rattmann is a rebel soldier of GLaDOS and the fusion [=CHELLGaDOS=] until Marrissa came back from the future.

* LukeIAmYourFather: Just before being shot into space, Rattmann tells a story about how Gabe Jonson couldn't have children with [=GLaDOS=] normally ([[YouFailLogicForever even though Marrissa and Wheatly can]]) and instead made Marrissa and Chell artificially, but DNA was all mixed up and Rattmann's DNA was used instead of Gabe's for one of the tubes, which would mean Rattmann is in fact Chell's biological father.

Misspellings: Ratman, Rtaman, Rat Man

[[folder:Portal High School]]

Seen in: ITS MY LIFE!, TEEN FORTRESS 2

[[/folder]]

[[folder:The Past (Non-Portal High School)]]

Seen in: all of the fics

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Distract 12 and The Capital]]

Seen in: THE MARRISSA GAMES

[[folder:Real life]]

Seen in: all of the fics

[[WMG:[[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2936305/MarissaTheWriter MarissaTheWriter]]]]

->Hi, its me [=MarrissaTheWritar=], my goodl frend Creator/SueMary said I can use her tumbler to postd my new storay THE MARRISSA GAMES since the dum CRITAKS NITED is tryin to destory all my stuff on [[FanFictionDotNet fanfiction.net]].

The author of this whole mess, [=MarissaTheWriter=] is a Website/{{Tumblr}} (and formerly, [[Website/FanFictionDotNet FanFiction.Net]]) fellow, and really nothing more than [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment the author of this whole mess]].

Tropes:

* CloudCuckooLander - As mentioned on the main page, Marrissa has some rather... odd ideas about things.
* CreatorBreakdown - In later chapters, especially in TEEN FORTRESS 2, Marrissa becomes increasingly angry in her author's notes and the spelling will at those times [[{{Angrish}} get even worse than usual]]. She's also started writing in the various "Falmer Trolls" as some form a revenge, derailing the main story to work in things to annoy them. TEEN FORTRESS 2 also has even more nonsensical plot twits and a ''lot'' of {{Gorn}} compared to ITS MY LIFE!
* {{Expy}} - Shares many traits with [[LightAndDarkTheAdventuresOfDarkYagami D'arkYagam'i]]. Her SelfInsert MarySue OC lacks an OverlyLongName, she introduces LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters who are either taken from canon or are her reviewers, has developed her stories into a shared universe, found her own TV Tropes page and is writing a Literature/TheHungerGames crossover.
* GeniusDitz - Blog/TheHalfWorld blog points out several pieces of evidence that Marrissa might be [[TrollFic smarter than she lets on]].
-->With It’s My Life, it’s ridiculous right out the gate. The author slipped in an ''Literature/AtlasShrugged'' joke in chapter 1, and right after that followed it up by using Creator/AynRand’s name in place of the words “and ran”, which seems cleverer than your average terrible fanfic writer. It’s over-the-top and in-your-face crazy right from the beginning.

-->So, no, I don’t think there’s solid evidence that [=MarissaTheWriter=] is a troll, but I think behind the stupid Cloudcuckoolander mask is someone more intelligent than they’re letting on.
* SockPuppet - Of Creator/SueMary. Of course, when they join the same Tumblr blog, they're two different people à la Creator/SachaBaronCohen's characters.

Misspellings: [=MarrissaTheWriter, MarrissaTheWritar=]

[[WMG:[[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3150339/Logic_Editor Logic Editor]] (real name Matthew Riggs)]]

->WASSUP G'S? It's ya boy, Logic!

Marrissa's beta reader. He has currently beta-read Chapters 7 to 9 of TEEN FORTRESS 2, and was working on an M-rated "better" version of ITS MY LIFE!. However, Marrissa disliked what Logic did to her story, and Logic himself had disappeared off the Internet. He did make a return, and became a Homestuck fan, but claimed he will not edit THE MARRISSA GAMES. He was a cool editor, though.

His depiction in TEEN FORTRESS 2 is the Maths teacher after Mr. Sanpe was assassinated, as told above.

Tropes:

* BetterThanCanon - This is his intention.
* IKEAErotica - Logic added a sex scene, even though Marrissa was against it.
* TheMole - Even though he's "working for" Marrissa, he let slip his Skepkitty fandom while beta-reading Chapter 9. He even wrote chatting with Skep (who turned out to be a bully further in the original story) into the chapter.

Misspellings: Logik Edtor

[[WMG:[[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2323369/ASBusinessMagnet Business Man]]]]

->Stop cyrin dudes you shuld be happy becos seinor gradulashun is common up soon!

->What the hell? Me and Peeta is a ship? NOT IN A MILLION YEARS. I’M NOT GAY.

The author of [[FanFic/PortalThe4thMillenniumFranchise Portal: The 4th Millennium franchise]] and someone who seems to follow Marissa, whether being of a good or a bad opinion about her stories. He also has an [[http://archiveofourown.org/users/ASBusinessMagnet Archive of Our Own account]] which he used to mirror THE MARRISSA GAMES there.

The in-story avatar of him briefly served as the Principal of Portal High School after Principal GLaDOS was killed. Later he married [[Blog/TheHalfWorld Skep]] and became a falmer troll, only to get a "divortion" and return to help Marrissa in the Hunger Games as part of her prep team. He is later revealed to hate the Flamer Trolls because [[Blog/TheHalfWorld Skepkitty]] makes him pay child support for their son in foster care, "Skepness Man". Later it turns out he is also the father of Caroline.

* HeelFaceRevolvingDoor: Business Man started out as a friendly principal, then joined the falmer trollz in ''Fanfic/InvaderZimBornAgainChristian'', then defected back to being a good guy prior to The Marrissa Games. (His FaceHeelTurn was acknowledged by Marrissa despite it having happened in a separate universe; apparently the falmer trollz are an intercontinuity faction.)
* LoveMakesYouEvil: His love for [[Blog/TheHalfWorld Skepkitty]] was what made Business Man go bad in the first place. [[TeacherStudentRomance Guess it didn't matter much that she was a student when Business Man was the principal]], [[FridgeLogic and got eaten by Scot's brothers at graduation.]] Or that in said alternate continuity, they were turned into one person then killed, and their baby christened.
** Or that Skepkitty is actually a he.
* NegativeContinuity: Business Man's activities since TEEN FORTRESS 2 appear to be from FanFic/InvaderZimBornAgainChristian, which Marrissa insisted was in a separate continuity. Even if [=IZBAC=] ''was'' in this continuity it still wouldn't make sense, as Business Man is killed and fused with Skepkitty to become "Skepness Man", who was then killed by [[JohnnyTheHomicidalManiac Nny]].

[[WMG:Reel fans]]

->AN THANKS FOR THE GOOD REVIEWS YOU LAST TOW ONES. AS LONG AS THE REEL FANS SUPPORT ME THIS STORY WILL NEVER DYE!

Presumably sarcastic, these reviewers of ITS MY LIFE! seem to praise the story and are the only reason Marrissa keeps writing ITS MY LIFE!.

This group, according to Marrissa herself, comprises of "Not" Cat Bountry with the DramaticReading and Selphuerel, who has done nothing other than praising the story with the reviews. (Though, Cat Bouncy recently has quit praising the story, and is not reading TEEN FORTRESS 2.) Among the other notable fans of the story is also Arrow-Awesome with [[RecursiveFanfiction two fan stories]] ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7187436/1/MarissaxChell MarissaxChell]]'' and ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7402781/1/Portla_3 Portla 3]]''.

[[WMG:Falmer trollz]]

->I gloped Wheatly an gave lots of hug an kisses while CAROLINE (See I listen to constertive crit instead of FALMER TROLLZ)

These reviewers are the [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Men]] within this whole mess, and, [[CaptainObvious obviously]], are being of a bad opinion about the fic. Notable people belonging to this faction are Tropers/{{Skepkitty}} of Blog/TheHalfWorld, the members of Script/TelltaleFanficTheater3000 and the other [=MSTers=], as well as bad reviewers.

They got a cameo as a gang of bullies that failed their graduations and were eaten quite unceremoniously.

It should be noted that this term is in fact interchangeable with "[[ConstructiveCriticism consertive critisim]] guys", because they could tell the problems with the story more loosely and be regarded as trolls.

!!Critics United

->CRITICS YOUNTIED -A groop of flmer trollz hoo did sterods an got superpowaed up so now theys even wores than the reglar ones! Wif tehere Preisent Snow they taked over the hole plase an a reely meen.

A group of "law enforcers" of [=FanFiction.Net=], who removed ITS MY LIFE! from the site. They are taking the role of the Capitol in THE MARRISSA GAMES.

* Demoman also has a girl with a similar status, [[InvaderZim Gaz]], who was close to breaking up after she was annoyed that he was addicted to "drugs and beer", but Scot managed to fix him and they went back to being lovers.

* the original Falmer Trollz ([[Blog/TheHalfWorld Skepkitty]] + TelltaleFanficTheater3000);

These reviewers are the [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Men]] within this whole mess, and, [[CaptainObvious obviously]], are being of a bad opinion about the fic. Notable people belonging to this faction are Tropers/{{Skepkitty}} of Blog/TheHalfWorld, the members of TelltaleFanficTheater3000 and the other [=MSTers=], as well as bad reviewers.

* ADayInTheLimelight: Two chapters of ITS MY LIFE! and one of TEEN FORTRESS 2 are written from Wheelty's POV, but that should not be taken as a sign of good writing: (From TheHalfWorld [=MSTing=])

* the original Falmer Trollz ([[TheHalfWorld Skepkitty]] + TelltaleFanficTheater3000);

* GeniusDitz - TheHalfWorld blog points out several pieces of evidence that Marrissa might be [[TrollFic smarter than she lets on]].

The in-story avatar of him briefly served as the Principal of Portal High School after Principal GLaDOS was killed. Later he married [[TheHalfWorld Skep]] and became a falmer troll, only to get a "divortion" and return to help Marrissa in the Hunger Games as part of her prep team. He is later revealed to hate the Flamer Trolls because [[TheHalfWorld Skepkitty]] makes him pay child support for their son in foster care, "Skepness Man". Later it turns out he is also the father of Caroline.

* LoveMakesYouEvil: His love for [[TheHalfWorld Skepkitty]] was what made Business Man go bad in the first place. [[TeacherStudentRomance Guess it didn't matter much that she was a student when Business Man was the principal]], [[FridgeLogic and got eaten by Scot's brothers at graduation.]] Or that in said alternate continuity, they were turned into one person then killed, and their baby christened.

These reviewers are the [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Men]] within this whole mess, and, [[CaptainObvious obviously]], are being of a bad opinion about the fic. Notable people belonging to this faction are Tropers/{{Skepkitty}} of TheHalfWorld, the members of TelltaleFanficTheater3000 and the other [=MSTers=], as well as bad reviewers.

Return to [[FanFic/{{ITSMYLIFE}} ITS MY LIFE!]].

* SockPuppet - Of Creator/SueMary. Of course, when they join the same Tumblr blog, they're two different people à la SachaBaronCohen's characters.

[[WMG:AbrahamLincoln]]

-->With It’s My Life, it’s ridiculous right out the gate. The author slipped in an AtlasShrugged joke in chapter 1, and right after that followed it up by using Creator/AynRand’s name in place of the words “and ran”, which seems cleverer than your average terrible fanfic writer. It’s over-the-top and in-your-face crazy right from the beginning.

The author of this whole mess, [=MarissaTheWriter=] is a {{Tumblr}} (and formerly, [[FanFictionDotNet FanFiction.Net]]) fellow, and really nothing more than [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment the author of this whole mess]].