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* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: The universe in ''[[https://what-if.xkcd.com/120/ Alternate Universe What Ifs]]'', is [[CrapsackWorld a truely ghastly place]] where people swallow one spider each second on average, blood covers much of the world, London was destroyed, unescapable harvester robots prowl and cows are oblate spheroids.
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** [[https://what-if.xkcd.com/8/ "Everybody Jump"]] provides an example of a Class-2: everyone getting moved to the Rhode Island area to jump would cause massive societal disruption. Not because it would physically destroy civilization (Randall notes that the worst that would happen to structures and such would be some ruined flowerbeds), but because many people do not live on Rhode Island, and therefore everyone suddenly being there would cause a lot of logistical issues that would cause widespread collapse among the human race (such as food/water unavailability, poor communication among the many that do not share languages, and airports being unable to reliably distribute everyone to their homes).
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* CrazyPrepared: [[https://youtu.be/EsUBRd1O2dU?si=vuDgouBYwV6ECtMi "Would a Submarine work as a Spaceship?"]]: Randall says that if you were on a nuclear submarine as it reentered Earth's atmosphere, you could survive if you tucked yourself into the right part of the submarine, had a fastly-secured acceleration couch, and a parachute to jump out with, you could survive the rapid deceleration of the submersible meeting Earth's surface. Cueball questions what kind of submarine would have an acceleration couch and a parachute.
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* CrazyPrepared: [[https://youtu.be/EsUBRd1O2dU?si=vuDgouBYwV6ECtMi "Would a Submarine work as a Spaceship?"]]: Randall says that if you were on a nuclear submarine as it reentered Earth's atmosphere, you could survive if you tucked yourself into the right part of the submarine, had a fastly-secured acceleration couch, and a parachute to jump out with, you could survive the rapid deceleration of the submersible meeting Earth's surface.with. Cueball questions what kind of submarine would have an acceleration couch and a parachute.
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* NoBikesInTheApocalypse: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2M8Y0z9Rl0 The YouTube version of "Everyone Jump"]] depicts the new human civilization as a ''Film/MadMax''-esque post-collapse society where everyone uses tricked-out, spiky motor vehicles rather than bicycles. Even though the event that caused this (all humans being teleported to Rhode Island) caused causing massive logistical disruption for humankind's resources.
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'''Cueball:''' ''(sitting at the controls of his giant roof-mounted laser)'' Dunno.
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'''Cueball:''' ''(sitting at the controls of his giant roof-mounted laser)'' Dunno.[[labelnote:AltText]]List of possible causes. Smoking in bed. Dryer lint. Induced currents. Sunspots. Neap tides. COX-2 inhibition. [=eBay=]. A reverse fire extinguisher. One of the ghosts from Pac-Man got loose and got into your house and knocked over a candle. Could be anything.[[/labelnote]]
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* SpaceIsolationHorror: Discussed in [[https://what-if.xkcd.com/72/ "Loneliest Human"]], about the astronaut's in the Apollo missions
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** He then has this to say about astatine, one of the ''highly'' radioactive elements in the sixth row:
--->There's no material safety data sheet for astatine. If there were, it would just be the word "NO" scrawled over and over in charred blood.
--->There's no material safety data sheet for astatine. If there were, it would just be the word "NO" scrawled over and over in charred blood.
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'''Randall:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
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'''Randall:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!\\
\\
'''Anonymous:''' How many nuclear missiles would have to be launched at the United States to turn it into a complete wasteland?[[note]]Randall doesn't bother to dignify this one with a response, snarky or otherwise.[[/note]]
\\
'''Anonymous:''' How many nuclear missiles would have to be launched at the United States to turn it into a complete wasteland?[[note]]Randall doesn't bother to dignify this one with a response, snarky or otherwise.[[/note]]
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I realized I might be misusing it.
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* SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud: The animated version of ''What if you swam in a nuclear storage pool?'' starts with a DontTryThisAtHome disclaimer while Randall Munroe does an a cappella imitation of an alarm.
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* SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud: The animated version of ''What if you swam in a nuclear storage pool?'' starts with a DontTryThisAtHome disclaimer while Randall Munroe does an a cappella imitation of an alarm.
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** "Periodic Wall of the Elements" explains what would happen if you built a physical periodic table out of blocks of each element -- in other words, Randall describes the ''many'' ways it would kill you.
--->You could stack the top two rows without much trouble.\\
The third row would burn you with fire.\\
The fourth row would kill you with toxic smoke.\\
The fifth row would do all that stuff PLUS give you a mild dose of radiation.\\
The sixth row would explode violently, destroying the building in a cloud of radioactive, poisonous fire and dust.\\
Do not build the seventh row.
--->You could stack the top two rows without much trouble.\\
The third row would burn you with fire.\\
The fourth row would kill you with toxic smoke.\\
The fifth row would do all that stuff PLUS give you a mild dose of radiation.\\
The sixth row would explode violently, destroying the building in a cloud of radioactive, poisonous fire and dust.\\
Do not build the seventh row.
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The examples below are only for the blog itself and the first book in the series. For the second book, see ''Literature/WhatIf2''.
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The examples below are only for the blog itself and itself, the first book in the series.series, and the video series, which generally share many questions together. For the second book, see ''Literature/WhatIf2''.
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* CrazyPrepared: [[https://youtu.be/EsUBRd1O2dU?si=vuDgouBYwV6ECtMi "Would a Submarine work as a Spaceship?"]]: Randall says that if you were on a nuclear submarine as it reentered Earth's atmosphere, you could survive if you tucked yourself into the right part of the submarine, had a fastly-secured acceleration couch, and a parachute to jump out with, you could survive the rapid deceleration of the submersible meeting Earth's surface. Cueball questions what kind of submarine would have an acceleration couch and a parachute.
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* SpaceIsCold: {{Inverted}} in one chapter of the book [[https://youtu.be/EsUBRd1O2dU?si=JeKHjFJloBNT2Zzf (also explored in the YouTube version)]] where Randall says that space is cold... but, space is actually warm for the purposes of putting a nuclear submarine in space, since the submarine generates a lot of its heat, and it's surrounded by a vacuum which isn't good at absorbing that heat; as a result, the submarine would get hot enough to be like a sauna, then have a reactor meltdown.
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* ThatPoorCat: In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsUBRd1O2dU&t=0s "Would a Submarine Work as a Spaceship?",]] a nuclear submarine explodes in orbit upon reentry to Earth. The pieces crash-land into Earth with various assorted smashing noises... and one "meow" of a frightened cat.
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* MikeNelsonDestroyerOfWorlds: In "[[https://what-if.xkcd.com/15/ Mariana Trench Explosion]]", Randall's cat jumps on the keyboard and adds six zeroes to the bomb's megaton yield, creating an explosion comparable to the meteor that killed the dinosaurs, which then does the same to humanity.
-->Stupid cat.
-->Stupid cat.
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* CanadaEh: When researching how high up you'd have to be to [[http://what-if.xkcd.com/64/ freeze to death]], he finds "The scholarly authorities on freezing to death seem to be, unsurprisingly, Canadians".
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* MooseAndMapleSyrup: When researching how high up you'd have to be to [[http://what-if.xkcd.com/64/ freeze to death]], he finds "The scholarly authorities on freezing to death seem to be, unsurprisingly, Canadians".
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* ExpospeakGag:
** "Proton Earth, Electron Moon" has Randall refer to an object he calls a "desktop particle accelerator". The phrase is linked to an Amazon search of the translation: CRT monitors.
** "Stirring Tea" explores what would happen if you stirred tea fast enough: "if you stir hard enough that your tea cavitates, its surface area will increase very rapidly, and it will cool to room temperature in seconds". Meaning, you'd be stirring so fast that you will spill your tea.
** "Proton Earth, Electron Moon" has Randall refer to an object he calls a "desktop particle accelerator". The phrase is linked to an Amazon search of the translation: CRT monitors.
** "Stirring Tea" explores what would happen if you stirred tea fast enough: "if you stir hard enough that your tea cavitates, its surface area will increase very rapidly, and it will cool to room temperature in seconds". Meaning, you'd be stirring so fast that you will spill your tea.
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** He has a similar answer to the question of whether you could stop a volcanic eruption by dropping a really big bomb in it as it happens. An erupting volcano is depicted spewing ash into the sky to form the word "no" -- with more ash than usual because someone dropped a bomb in it.
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** He has a similar answer to the question of whether you could stop a volcanic eruption by dropping a really big bomb in it as it happens. An erupting volcano is depicted spewing ash into the sky to form the word "no" "'''NO'''" -- with more ash than usual because someone dropped a bomb in it.
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* ILied: The Hair Dryer article promised to stop when half the space was unused.
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* ILied: The [[https://what-if.xkcd.com/35/ Hair Dryer Dryer]] article promised to stop when half the space was unused.
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* ImplausibleDeniability: [[https://what-if.xkcd.com/119/ Laser Umbrella]] ends with Cueball setting a neighbor's house on fire.
-->'''Neighbor:''' Why is my house on fire ''again''?\\
'''Cueball:''' ''(sitting at the controls of his giant roof-mounted laser)'' Dunno.
-->'''Neighbor:''' Why is my house on fire ''again''?\\
'''Cueball:''' ''(sitting at the controls of his giant roof-mounted laser)'' Dunno.
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Crosswicking
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* SodaCandySplosion: The first image of "[[https://what-if.xkcd.com/162/ Comet Ice]]" has [[CardCarryingJerkass Black Hat Guy]] offer to plug an overflowing Diet Coke with Mentos. The AltText contains a MythologyGag, stating that "[[https://xkcd.com/1053/ some of the lucky 10,000 are less lucky than others]]."
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* WaxingLyrical: In "[[https://what-if.xkcd.com/83/ Star Sand]]", one image compares the Sun to stars that are "heavier, bluer, bigger, younger, [[Music/DaftPunk harder, better, faster, stronger]]".
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'''Megan:''' It's shaped like a copy of ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial''.
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'''Megan:''' It's shaped like a copy VHS tape of ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial''.
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* MedalOfDishonor: Awarded to someone called A.J. for his idea of how UsefulNotes/{{Chernobyl}} could have been prevented.
-->'''A.J.:''' Would dumping anti-matter into the Chernobyl reactor when it was melting down stop the meltdown?\\
'''Randall:''' A.J., in recognition of your Chernobyl response efforts, we award you the "For God's Sake, What Were You ''Thinking''?!" award.\\
'''Megan:''' It's shaped like a copy of ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial''.
-->'''A.J.:''' Would dumping anti-matter into the Chernobyl reactor when it was melting down stop the meltdown?\\
'''Randall:''' A.J., in recognition of your Chernobyl response efforts, we award you the "For God's Sake, What Were You ''Thinking''?!" award.\\
'''Megan:''' It's shaped like a copy of ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial''.
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--->'''Tomasz Gruszka:''' Would it be possible to stop a volcano eruption by placing a bomb (thermobaric or nuclear) underneath the surface?\\
'''Volcanic Eruption:''' '''NO'''\\
'''Randall:''' Why did you '''do''' that?!
'''Volcanic Eruption:''' '''NO'''\\
'''Randall:''' Why did you '''do''' that?!
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---> "What is the total nutritional value (calories, fat, vitamins, minerals, etc.) of the average human body?"
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---> "What is the total nutritional value (calories, fat, vitamins, minerals, etc.) of the average human body?"body?"\\
'''Hat guy''': ...I need to know by Friday. [-Shhh! [[ImAHumanitarian Here he comes.]]-]
'''Hat guy''': ...I need to know by Friday. [-Shhh! [[ImAHumanitarian Here he comes.]]-]
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'''Randall:''' Hello, police? I have this website where people submit questions...
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'''Randall:''' Hello, police? I have this website where people submit questions...\\
\\
'''Jon Merrill:''' How fast would a human have to run in order to be cut in half at the bellybutton by a cheese-cutting wire?\\
'''Randall:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
\\
'''Jon Merrill:''' How fast would a human have to run in order to be cut in half at the bellybutton by a cheese-cutting wire?\\
'''Randall:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
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--> '''Anonymous:''' How many houses are burned down in the United States every year? What would be the easiest way to increase that number by a significant amount (say, at least 15%)?\\
'''Randall:''' Hello, police? I have this website where people submit questions...
'''Randall:''' Hello, police? I have this website where people submit questions...
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* EveryoneHasStandards: As much as Randall seems to enjoy describing potentially apocalyptic scenarios, he sometimes fields questions that are too bizarre, disturbing, or borderline illegal for him to answer. In some cases, he shows himself alerting the proper authorities.
-->'''Anonymous:''' What would it take to defeat ''Air Force One'' with a drone???\\
'''Randall:''' Hello, Secret Service? Yes, it's Randall again...
-->'''Anonymous:''' What would it take to defeat ''Air Force One'' with a drone???\\
'''Randall:''' Hello, Secret Service? Yes, it's Randall again...
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* EveryoneHasStandards: As much as Randall seems to enjoy describing potentially apocalyptic scenarios, he sometimes fields questions that are too bizarre, disturbing, or borderline illegal for him to answer. In some cases, he shows himself alerting the proper authorities.
-->'''Anonymous:''' What would it take to defeat ''Air Force One'' with a drone???\\
'''Randall:''' Hello, Secret Service? Yes, it's Randall again...
-->'''Anonymous:''' What would it take to defeat ''Air Force One'' with a drone???\\
'''Randall:''' Hello, Secret Service? Yes, it's Randall again...
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* FrivolousLawsuit: [[http://what-if.xkcd.com/96/ 2 undecillion]] explores what would happen if the guy who filed a 2 undecillion lawsuit actually won. Turns out, he'd never get the money awarded because it's ''flat out impossible'' for Au Bon Pain to gather that much money, ever. They wouldn't even get anywhere near the target amount if they were able to convert the Earth's weight into copies of the most valuable item by weight ever sold (the Treeskilling Yellow postage stamp) and somehow sold all of them for the original's selling price.
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* FrivolousLawsuit: [[http://what-if.xkcd.com/96/ 2 undecillion]] explores what would happen if the guy who filed a 2 undecillion lawsuit actually won. Turns out, he'd never get the money awarded because it's ''flat out impossible'' for Au Bon Pain to gather that much money, ever. They wouldn't even get anywhere near the target amount if they were able to convert the Earth's weight into copies of the most valuable item by weight ever sold (the Treeskilling Treskilling Yellow postage stamp) and somehow sold all of them for the original's selling price.
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xkcd is not to be capitalized
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* MythologyGag: Since the illustrative diagrams are drawn in the same style as ''Webcomic/{{xkcd}}'', they sometimes feature guest appearances by characters from there. They also feature allusions to the main webcomic.
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* MythologyGag: Since the illustrative diagrams are drawn in the same style as ''Webcomic/{{xkcd}}'', ''Webcomic/{{Xkcd}}'', they sometimes feature guest appearances by characters from there. They also feature allusions to the main webcomic.
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** The RunningGag about "You will not go to space today" is a recycled joke from ''XKCD'''s [[http://xkcd.com/1133/ Up Goer Five]] strip.
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** The RunningGag about "You will not go to space today" is a recycled joke from ''XKCD'''s ''xkcd'''s [[http://xkcd.com/1133/ Up Goer Five]] strip.
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The examples below are only for the blog itself and the first book in the series. For the second book, see Literature/''WhatIf2''.
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The examples below are only for the blog itself and the first book in the series. For the second book, see Literature/''WhatIf2''.''Literature/WhatIf2''.
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The examples below are only for the blog itself and the first book in the series. For the second book, see Literature/WhatIf2.
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The examples below are only for the blog itself and the first book in the series. For the second book, see Literature/WhatIf2.Literature/''WhatIf2''.
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The examples below are only for the blog itself and the first book in the series. For the second book, see Literature/WhatIf2.
