History Awesome / ZeroPunctuation

-->'''Yahtzee:''' In summary, ''Marvel’s Avengers'' is exactly what it always seemed to be: a game designed not to engage or electrify but to take up space, inside your head, on your hard drive, in human culture in general -- but the plot takes on a deeper meaning if you look at the Avengers as an analogy for the [[Creator/{{Disney}} Disney Corporation]]. Assembling a team of franchise and media companies in order to fight against an oppressive government-backed regime bent on corporate regulation, taxation, and the dreaded monopolies commission. So in this metaphor Kamala Khan as the protagonist represents an approved citizen of the corporatocracy who buys all the merch and dutifully wets her Stan Lee autographed knickers over the right brands. And then each Avenger represents one of Disney's acquisitions. Thor represents Creator/{{Pixar}}, old school fantasy hero popular with the kids. The Hulk represents Fox, a veneer of respectability over an instrument of total societal destruction. And Iron Man represents Star Wars. Used to be good when better actors were involved, [[ItMakesSenseInContext now deserves to choke to death on its own cum]].

-->'''Yahtzee:''' So that's ''Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart'', generally inoffensive but hardly pushing the envelope, more prodding the post-it note, really. I apologise for the abject blandness of this take and also for the lateness of this review. It would have come out sooner if we'd gotten a review code before the release date but Sony wouldn't give us one when they found out what it was for. They said that, quote, "Given the tone of that coverage, we'd prefer you secure your own code." [[ArmorPiercingQuestion From where, Sony?! The fucking dumpster outside your office?!]] I don't normally give you these cheeky little glances behind the beef curtains, but, I mean, ''really''? I guess we all knew publishers want to dictate the content of reviews, hence those review guides they keep sending us that read like a timid schoolchild asking to please not be kicked in these specific sensitive areas, but I didn't expect them to just come out and admit it! What's your problem with my "tone", Sony? You didn’t know I’d make the "Snatchet" joke!

** The fact that he was one of the ''only'' reviewers to call the game out. Even Gamespot's infamous EightPointEight review only went so far as to call the violence too extreme. Yahtzee actively called out all the morally heinous and downright horrifying shit Joel and Ellie do throughout the game. Although many people who enjoy the game also understand that, and recognize it as being one of the major themes of the plot.

** The lasting effect of this cannot be overstated, because after one of his more infamous reviews was of ''Monster Hunter Tri'', it was assumed he would never touch the series again. He ended up returning to the series with ''Videogame/MonsterHunterWorld'' and was significantly nicer to it, even admitting that he could see why people would like it. ''Videogame/DarkSouls'' really did a number on this MeanBrit.

-->'''Yahtzee:''' I suppose ''Warfighter'', ahahaha, exasperates because after I declared ''Battlefield 3'' and ''Modern Warfare'' as the twin bollock lords of shit mountain there were dissenting voices dismissing my opinion on the basis that I "just don't like shooters". [[BerserkButton Oh you ignorant little]] ''[[BerserkButton bastards]],'' stick your balls up your ass and clench yourself castrated. I was into [[VideoGame/{{Painkiller}} shooters]] when you were sucking on Wiimotes, you cover-loving, health-regenerating, murderer-come-latelies. You don't even know what a shooter ''is!'' A shooter is [[MotorMouth fast-paced circle-strafing wits-about-you rocket-jumping last-scrap-of-health]] [[UnusualEuphemism toodly-fuckpies]] organic excitement in a [[NiceHat fancy hat]]! It is ''not'' riding a conveyor belt to the next chest-high wall and resting your head on it until you get lulled into a lovely little sleep by other people's gunfire!

* [[BrokenBase Arguably]], his review of ''VideoGame/MetroidOtherM'' is this to its detractors. Though many critics have gone on about how bad the games is (one lesser-known reviewer made a four-part review spanning about '''''eighty minutes'''''), Yatzee basically and crassly summed up all of their complaints in little over [[UpToEleven five minutes]]. This feat had a fan pledging in the comments section that, when the time comes that Yatzee will insult a game they like, they will forgive him. [[InternetJerk Someone on the internet forgiving a critic for criticizing something they like.]]

-->''Until Dawn'' is an interactive story of the [[Creator/QuanticDream David Cage]] school pushed through the filter of slasher movie with the promise being that [[VideoGameCaringPotential if we make all the right decisions, perhaps we could keep all the]] [[FormerChildStar out-of-work]] [[DawsonCasting twenty-something actors]] [[EarnYourHappyEnding alive]]. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I don't think you were paying attention, Until Dawn.]] [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential I will have made the right decisions]] [[EightDeadlyWords if every single one of these]] [[{{Jerkass}} gurgleberks]] ends up [[CruelAndUnusualDeath upholstering the soft furnishings in Leatherface's man cave]].

What does matter is that characters at least be interesting to watch, [[EightDeadlyWords and these aren’t]].

-->'''Yahtzee:''' So that's ''Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart'', generally inoffensive but hardly pushing the envelope, more prodding the post-it note, really. I apologise for the abject blandness of this take and also for the lateness of this review. It would have come out sooner if we'd gotten a review code before the release date but Sony wouldn't give us one when they found out what it was for. They said that, quote, "Given the tone of that coverage, we'd prefer you secure your own code." [[ArmorPiercingQuestion From where, Sony, the fucking dumpster outside your office?]] I don't normally give you these cheeky little glances behind the beef curtains but I mean, ''really''. I guess we all knew publishers want to dictate the content of reviews, hence those review guides they keep sending us that read like a timid schoolchild asking to please not be kicked in these specific sensitive areas, but I didn't expect them to just come out and admit it. What's your problem with my "tone", Sony? You didn’t know I’d make the "Snatchet" joke.

** The fact that he was one of the ''only'' reviewers to call the game out on its horrific MoralDissonance. Even Gamespot's infamous EightPointEight review only went so far as to call the violence too extreme. Yahtzee actively called out all the morally heinous and downright horrifying shit Joel and Ellie do throughout the game. Although many people who enjoy the game also understand that, and recognize it as being one of the major themes of the plot.

** He then tore it (and its sequel) to shreds in his actual reviews.

* Beating ''VideoGame/GearsOfWar'' [[FanDumb fan boys]] to the punch by telling them that if he said the plot of ''VideoGame/GearsOfWar'' was actually good, they'd trumpet that from the rooftops, but if he said the plot was crap, [[NoPlotNoProblem they'd be howling at him]] "what did you expect in a ''VideoGame/GearsOfWar'' game?"

* His [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/9246-What-Is-the-Matter-with-You-People What Is The Matter With You People?]] article, besides calling out some rather disturbing people in the ''VideoGame/CallOfDuty'' FanDumb, he also brings up how the death scene from the nuclear bomb in the original ''VideoGame/ModernWarfare'' managed to be both shocking and horrifying due how the player character in it is struggle to survive before finally succumbing, and how the attempts to shock the player in the series [[SerialEscalation have gotten less shocking by becoming MORE shocking]]:

* His ''Ocarina of Time 3DS'' review had the usual generic Nintendo-bashing, but in a refreshing twist he never explicitly condemned the game but made the point that [[SomeAnvilsNeedToBeDropped the game is thirteen years old and has a dozen sequels which have expanded upon it]], and NostalgiaFilter won't turn those who didn't play it when it was new.

-->'''Yahtzee:''' In summary, ''Marvel’s Avengers'' is exactly what it always seemed to be: a game designed not to engage or electrify but to take up space, inside your head, on your hard drive, in human culture in general -- but the plot takes on a deeper meaning if you look at the Avengers as an analogy for the [[Creator/{{Disney}} Disney Corporation]]. Assembling a team of franchise and media companies in order to fight against an oppressive government-backed regime bent on corporate regulation, taxation, and the dreaded monopolies commission. So in this metaphor Kamala Khan as the protagonist represents an approved citizen of the corporatocracy who buys all the merch and dutifully wets her Stan Lee autographed knickers over the right brands. And then each Avenger represents one of Disney's acquisitions. Thor represents Creator/{{Pixar}}, old school fantasy hero popular with the kids. The Hulk represents Fox, a veneer of respectability over an instrument of total societal destruction. And Iron Man represents Star Wars. Used to be good when better actors were involved, [[ItMakesSenseInContext now deserves to choke to death on its own cum]].

* [[BrokenBase Arguably]], his review of ''VideoGame/MetroidOtherM'' is this to its detractors. Though many critics have gone on about how bad the games is (one lesser-known reviewer made a four-part review spanning about '''''eighty minutes'''''), Yatzee basically and crassly summed up all of their complaints in little over [[UpToEleven five minutes]]. This feat had a fan pledging in the comments section that, when the time comes that Yatzee will insult a game they like, they will forgive him. [[{{GIFT}} Someone on the internet forgiving a critic for criticizing something they like.]]

** Yahtzee also takes his time to explain why the bleak atmosphere and unlikeable protagonist worked for ''Videogame/SpecOpsTheLine'' and why not for ''Videogame/TheLastOfUs''.

--->I'm not trying to be contrarian; I genuinely cannot think of a game that gave me a more miserable experience than ''The Last of Us II''. And [[HereWeGoAgain here we fucking go]]. "Ooh, look at Mr. Controversial Opinions! You think The Game Awards' Game of the Year was actually the worst game ever, do you? And you think all the people who think it's good are wrong, do you? And you think The Game Awards have their noses shoved so far up AAA buttholes that they wouldn't notice a good game if it was speed bagging their testicles, do you? [[TheWarOnStraw And you're going to put all these views into the mouth of a notional third party in a weak attempt at creating deniability, are you?]] You going to interrupt at some point?" [[DeadpanSnarker I wasn't, no.]]

* The "[[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaALinkBetweenWorlds A Link Between Worlds]]" review. A minute into the video, after building up to bash the game, Yahtzee, convinced that the only one who would actually keep watching after that point would be ''Nintendo themselves'', proceeds to have a chat with Creator/{{Nintendo}} concerning [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech their recent failure syndrome]].

* This line from his review of ''VideoGame/GhostReconBreakpoint'', regarding the game's infamously intrusive microtransactions:
-->When you charge money for something that's limitless and effortless to produce like in-game currency, that's not a service, it's the death of economics as a concept.

** He ends the review of a pointed takedown of Disney.

* He ends the review of a pointed takedown of Disney.

What does matter is that characters at least be interesting to watch, [[EightDeadlyWords and these aren’t]].

-->With the ''Wolfenstein'' series updated\\
It's straight-forward enough I can't hate it\\

And their corpses I leave desecrated

-->"[[VideoGame/SpecOpsTheLine Captain Walker]] ''decides'' [[ShootTheDog to shoot the white phosphorous]]! [[VideoGame/FarCry3 Jason Brody]] ''decides'' [[IChooseToStay to stay on the island]]! That's what makes their characters develop! Lara just alternates between [[HystericalWoman breathy whimpers]] and [[DullSurprise bland resignation]]. 'So you can [[ARealManIsAKiller kill a man]] and [[MadeOfIron take a machete like a champ]]', a ''[[InsultToRocks concrete block]]'' can do that! But [[CharacterDerailment you can't kick one out the back of a speeding truck and call that a 'character arc']]!"

1. Getting hurt a lot. Looking at you, [[VideoGame/TombRaider2013 Tomb Raider reboot]].\\

4. And we might as well tack on being a member of a minority, just ‘cos I’ve already given up hope for this video’s comment section.\\

--> With the ''Wolfenstein'' series updated
--> It's straight-forward enough I can't hate it
--> For the goodies I root
--> And the baddies I shoot
--> And their corpses I leave desecrated

--> "[[VideoGame/SpecOpsTheLine Captain Walker]] ''decides'' [[ShootTheDog to shoot the white phosphorous]]! [[VideoGame/FarCry3 Jason Brody]] ''decides'' [[IChooseToStay to stay on the island]]! That's what makes their characters develop! Lara just alternates between [[HystericalWoman breathy whimpers]] and [[DullSurprise bland resignation]]. 'So you can [[ARealManIsAKiller kill a man]] and [[MadeOfIron take a machete like a champ]]', a ''[[InsultToRocks concrete block]]'' can do that! But [[CharacterDerailment you can't kick one out the back of a speeding truck and call that a 'character arc']]!"

--> "A masterstroke of unconventional strategizing of which I was so embarrassingly proud that I boasted furiously about it for the entire last thirty seconds of an internet video." ''CreditsRoll''

--> We live in an age where mass communication has counter-intuitively turned all attempts at verbal debate into a basketball game where the teams are on different courts, and stand around a basket racking up meaningless points and throwing shit over the dividing wall. The only way an individual can safely express their politics these days is to anonymously spend money. [[RealitySubtext Hence why homophobic pizza joints can mysteriously accrue a million dollars in donations.]] ''[[NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity Hatred]]'' [[NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity exists merely as a maypole]] [[StreisandEffect for those wishing to defy]] [[MoralGuardians the cultural nannies who want to tell them that they can't have it until they learn to wipe their bottoms properly.]] [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech So two groups of affluent middle class people annoy each other,]] [[RatedMforMoney Hatred makes lots of money,]] [[SeriousBusiness and the world at large gives less of a toss than a quadriplegic shot-putter.]] Good night!

--> ''Until Dawn'' is an interactive story of the [[Creator/QuanticDream David Cage]] school pushed through the filter of slasher movie with the promise being that [[VideoGameCaringPotential if we make all the right decisions, perhaps we could keep all the]] [[FormerChildStar out-of-work]] [[DawsonCasting twenty-something actors]] [[EarnYourHappyEnding alive]]. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I don't think you were paying attention, Until Dawn.]] [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential I will have made the right decisions]] [[EightDeadlyWords if every single one of these]] [[{{Jerkass}} gurgleberks]] ends up [[CruelAndUnusualDeath upholstering the soft furnishings in Leatherface's man cave]].

--> "What happened to you?! WHAT HAPPENED TO US?!!"

--> But what made me choke on my sherbet was when the bloke narrating the gameplay video said, "For the first time, you will be able to choose between a male and female hero!"\\

--> "People ask me if I worry about the future of the interactive arts in this era of triple-A being a constant stream of soulless exploitative knock-offs, but I'm not worried! [[HistoryRepeats Because we've been here before]]. At the end of the 90s, games like [[VideoGame/QuakeIIIArena Quake III]] and VideoGame/UnrealTournament tried to convince us that we didn't ''really'' want artistic single-player PC games when we could just pay to run on hamster wheels all day, and look what the 2000s brought us. ''VideoGame/DeusEx''! ''[[VideoGame/ThiefIITheMetalAge Thief II]]''! ''VideoGame/{{BioShock}}''! ''VideoGame/{{Portal}}''! It's always a phase. In the long run, the only eternal guarantor of success is a quality product well-made, [[SexSells ideally with tits on the front]]. The money to be made from knocking off what's popular and exploiting the stupid always dries up eventually, if only because the stupids die out from daring each other to headbutt the ceiling fan."

* This line from his review of [[VideoGame/GhostReconBreakpoint Ghost Recon: Breakpoint]], regarding the game's infamously intrusive microtransactions:
--> ''When you charge money for something that's limitless and effortless to produce like in-game currency, that's not a service, it's the death of economics as a concept.''

--> "A masterstroke of unconventional strategizing of which I was so embarrassingly proud that I boasted furiously about it for the entire last thirty seconds of an internet video." *Cue credits*