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* "I'm queer. I'm gay. I'm homosexual. I'm a poof, I'm a poofter, I'm a ponce. I'm a bumboy, batty-boy, backside artist, bugger. I'm bent. I am that arse bandit. I lift those shirts. I'm a faggot-ass, fudge-packing, shit-stabbing uphill gardener. I dine at the downstairs restaurant, I dance at the other end of the ballroom. I'm Moses and the parting of the red cheeks. I fuck and I am fucked. I suck and I am sucked. I rim them and wank them, and every single man's had the fucking time of his life. And I am not a pervert. If there's one twisted bastard in this family, it's this little blackmailer here. So congratulations, Thomas. I've just officially outed you. ({{beat}}) Oh, and one more thing: did I mention I've got a baby?"
* Stuart to Nathan's father when he first sees them together:
--> '''Roy Maloney''': "He's ''fifteen''!"
--> '''Stuart Alan Jones:''' "The Jeep's only six months old and you've already buggered it!"
* ...and at the car dealership where Stuart is replacing the buggered Jeep:
--> "Where do I sign?"
* Nathan's "public service announcement" in the Canal Street bar:
--> "He's here! He's queer! I'm buying him a beer!" '''- Alexander'''
* In the season two finale, Stuart challenging a homophobe in a country where guns are legal.

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