History Awesome / Duckman

--->'''Duckman''': I just want to get home for my kids' birthday, but this whole [[LongList leaf-blowing, false-advertising, traffic-stopping, tax-dollar squandering workers-on-permanent-coffee-break, upper-class money dodging, stolen car-parts-dealing, sign-changing]] [[SocietyIsToBlame society]] ''won't let me''! And you know who's to blame?! '''[[{{Hypocrite}} We all are]]'''! We say [[EvilLawyerJoke we HATE lawyers]], but we can't ''wait'' [[FrivolousLawsuit to sue somebody]]. We want leaders [[TheChainsOfCommanding to make tough choices]], then we [[NoGoodDeedGoesUnpunished vote 'em out when they do]]! [[BreadMilkEggsSquick We all want X-Rated older women with hirsute-upper-lips' chat-lines, then scream bloody murder when we get the bill!]]

-->'''Duckman''': I don't care if you know what I'm going to say or disagree or think I'm making a mistake, I'm gonna talk and you're all gonna LISTEN!! I just realized that the best thing about life is that we don't know how it will turn out! Being surprised is all we have to hold our interest, and as far as I can tell you, your life ends when you start trying to control your fate. I don't want to know how every move I make affects my fate, I'm just going to do what I think is right and hope things will turn out okay - starting with ''this!'' *throws the timeline generator into the sink, breaking it and sending all the timeline copies back to their own realities*

--->'''Duckman''': *hands the generator to the stunned scientist who's staring at the army of mismatched copies* Don't worry, [[IronicEcho it's physically impossible!]]

* Duckman saves the day in "Color Of Naught" all by himself, even quickly coming up with a solution to restore the city to its former self with Anti-Beautex.

** Earlier in the episode, he blows a gasket about the pile-up of crap he'd had to deal with that day, culminating in the RantInducingSlight that landed him in the asylum (because he ranted [[FelonyMisdemeanor without a starched collar]]).

* Duckman's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knIroVvPZU4 rant on censorship]] and PoliticalOvercorrectness. It should be mandatory viewing for everyone.

* Duckman's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knIroVvPZU4 rant on censorship]] and PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad. It should be mandatory viewing for everyone.

* Fluffy & Uranus ''finally'' [[GrewASpine growing a spine]] in order to [[TheThingThatWouldNotLeave kick Duckman out of their home]], coinciding with a PrecisionFStrike.

--->'''Duckman''': I just want to get home for my kids' birthday, but this whole [[LongList leaf-blowing, false-advertising, traffic-stopping, tax-dollar squandering workers-on-permanent-coffee-break, upper-class money dodging, stolen car-parts-dealing, sign-changing]] [[SocietyIsToBlame society]] ''won't let me''! And you know who's to blame?! '''[[{{Hypocrite}} We all are]]'''! We say [[EvilLawyerJoke we HATE lawyers]], but we can't ''wait'' [[FrivolousLawsuit to sue somebody]]. We want leaders [[TheChainsOfCommanding to make tough choices]], then we [[NoGoodDeedGoesUnpunished vote 'em out when they do]]! [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers We all want X-Rated older women with hirsute-upper-lips' chat-lines, then scream bloody murder when we get the bill!]]

* Duckman giving a TheReasonYouSuckSpeech to Bernice, Charles, Mambo, Cornfed and Fluffy and Uranus in the Indian Casino episode, pointing out that for all his faults, the rest of the cast is FAR from perfect, ranging from Bernice's cruel, humiliating treatment, Charles and Mambo's treating him like an embarrassment rather than a father, Fluffy and Uranus' preachy and pushy attitude, and Cornfed's constant touting of his own accomplishments.