"From Here to the Pharmacy" is an episode in the seventh season of The Golden Girls.
A man Blanche had corresponded in the past has returned from the Gulf War and taken the job as pharmacist, but Blanche doesn't recall much about him or what they said, did, or promised to each other prior to his deployment. Meanwhile, Sophia has Rose help her set up a will, only to cause Dorothy to resent Sophia when Rose accidentally lets loose some information about Sophia's financial status in Dorothy's earshot at an inopportune moment.
Tropes in this episode include:
- Accidental Misnaming: Because Blanche doesn't remember much about the veteran who's now a pharmacist, Blanche slips when addressing his name (which she manages to find out as "Bill" after Dorothy helps her into discovering), calling him "Ben" or "Bob" before quickly correcting herself afterwards, enough that Bill doesn't catch on.
- Black Comedy Pet Death: The episode starts with Rose trying to prepare Sophia's will, but Sophia acts rather flippant, prompting Rose to recount the incident where Charlie, in an attempt to be funny while preparing a will for the Nylund family, left all inheritances to a pet cow in his will, only for a lawyer who got a hold of the will to try to enforce it on contingency, which resulted in Rose spending six months to get the farm back (presenting her piece to a jury of cows, at that, according to Rose). Then Rose exacted some payback...Sophia: But you must have been relieved when you won.
Rose: Oh, yeah, we celebrated... with a big, thick steak.
[Sophia gives a horrified look with dropped jaw]
[...]
Rose: I hated that cow. I still don't think she should have been awarded that car. (with a vindictive grin) Not that she got to use it. - Caffeine Failure: Dorothy, upset with her mother for hoarding money for Dorothy's siblings Gloria and Phil while forcing Dorothy to "go without," remarks that if she had the money, she could have been living "in a swinging condo" instead of with...Dorothy: I'd better not say anything else until after I've had my coffee. [sips coffee] A SLUT AND A MORON!!!! [Blanche and Rose look hurt] Sorry, must be decaf.
- Jaw Drop: Sophia reacts to Rose's "celebration method" for getting her farm back from a pet cow with a horrified look and her mouth agape.
- Karma Houdini: After Blanche and Bill talk over about dating and agree to take it slow with each other, a security officer takes Sophia to Bill on the allegation that she and a male shopper broke the last bottle of Preparation H when they scuffled over it, with Sophia trying to stuff some of the content into her handbag. Blanche chastises Sophia for it, but Sophia argues that she got the shorter end of the deal because, according to her, "the other guy got away scot-free, and he wriggled in it".
- Not Helping Your Case: Dorothy treats the idea of Rose being the one to prepare Sophia's will with unimpressed dismissal, and Rose's attempt to prop herself up further does no favor at impressing Dorothy.Sophia: Dorothy, Rose is helping me make out an ironclad will.
Dorothy: Wait. You're using Rose as a lawyer?
Rose: I know what I'm doing. Every Thursday, I watch "La Law".
[Beat, followed by Dorothy's Reaction Shot]
Dorothy: That's L.A. Law. - Saying Too Much: Dorothy's resentment towards Sophia takes shape after Rose lets loose that Sophia actually has $35,000 to herself.Dorothy: $35,000?
Rose: And four gold teeth. (turns to Sophia and notices a stern look from her) Oops!
Sophia: Nice going, Council. Exactly how close to the television were you sitting when you were watching "La Law"? - Small Steps Hero: Invoked by Blanche towards Bill. Back in the States, they're trying to figure out how to approach dating, and he remarks to her that he's not a hero, but a mere pharmacist, and he realizes they barely know each other. She then watches as he counsels a young Hispanic mother, distraught and speaking broken English, on how best to help her sick child.Blanche: (warmly) Who says you're not a hero? Welcome home.
- The Triple: When Bill talks to Blanche and Sophia about working at the pharmacy late in the episode, Sophia asks Bill for any pharmaceutical items that might be on sale. Among the three items Bill mentions, only the last item piques Sophia's interest.Sophia: So, Bill... what's for sale?
Bill: We have breast pumps.
Sophia: What else?
Bill: Afro Sheen.
Sophia: Moving on.
Bill: Preparation H.
Sophia: Hot damn. *leaves to find the product*
