Aside from the fact that EarthBound was the second game of the MOTHER trilogy and the only game in the series to make it stateside, the Nerd knows nothing about the game going in, a surefire sign that the game was truly horrible. Surprisingly, however, online research into the game turns up nothing but glowing praise: the game and the MOTHER series have a strong and loyal following throughout the world! The Nerd wants to get a copy to see what the hype is about, but online vendors all see copies of this highly coveted game for hundreds if not thousands of dollars. Thankfully, the game is more affordably available on Nintendo's Virtual Console and as part of the Super Nintendo Classic miniature console, which the Nerd uses for want of an original cartridge of the game.
The game puts players into the role of a young boy named Ness (although the player can rename him or the other members of the party if they so choose), who is joined by Paula, Jeff, and Poo (yes, that is seriously the character's name) as they collect sacred melodies in order to save the world from Giygas, one of the most bizarre and unfathomable villains in gaming history: according to in-game descriptions, Giygas is more of a force of pure evil and hatred than an actual physical person or being. As opposed to other RPGs of the time, EarthBound has a contemporary setting; Ness travels through modern-day towns and cities with drug stores, fast food joints, and cars, which the Nerd thinks is refreshing when compared to other RPGs set in fantasy lands. Even the enemies are unique, consisting of animals in the beginning.
The Nerd wasn't big on the battle system at first, since they took place in first person view with the party hidden from view, in comparison to other SNES RPGs which showed the party on-screen. Over time, however, the Nerd began to enjoy it. Setting EarthBound apart from its contemporaries is the rolling HP counters: rather than damage inflicted upon the party simply subtracting their HP, the HP counters counts down. If one of your party members takes enough damage that their HP would be reduced to 0, the player can save them by healing them if they act fast enough. This makes battles more engaging. The "auto-battle" option is also a welcome addition, allowing the player to step away from the game if they need to and let it play itself. The Nerd also enjoys the "sneak attack" function: approaching enemies from behind allows you to gain the first turn in battle, while getting snuck up on by an enemy allows them to attack first.
The in-game dialogue is also enjoyable, with many fourth wall-breaking jokes. While other RPGs may have tedious dialogue, the Nerd finds himself talking to random NPCs just to see what they have to say. The music in the game is highly diverse and enjoyable to listen to. One example the Nerd points out as being particularly masterful is one theme that plays while your party travels through the desert, as a song plays over the ambient winds.
The plotline of the game is highly nonsensical and borderline insane, and the later enemy designs are outrageous and bizarre against psychedelic backdrops.
The Nerd concludes that EarthBound is awesome: for as much as he enjoys playing bad games, he is just as much heartbroken to have missed out on so good a game as EarthBound. He is gobsmacked at how such a game could have possibly flopped in America.
As much as the Nerd loves EarthBound, however, he still has some criticisms. The first gripe is how all of the money earned from winning battles must be withdrawn from an ATM before you can even use it, and that you lose half of the money you have on your person when you lose. One NPC requires a diamond to proceed through the game, but you can't just hand it to her: you need to walk around behind the desk she is seated at. There are also lots of impassable areas where there looks to be empty space, which is particularly egregious in one area of the game where your party is shrunken, drawing unfavorable comparisons to Little Red Hood.
Ness walks around very slowly, which makes navigating the world or evading enemies tedious, although this can be remedies by getting a bike, at least until you gain more party members, which makes your one-seater bike useless. There are too many items that are useable only in one particular instance, which becomes a problem with your party's limited inventory space. You can use Escargo Express to hold excess items, but they can only ferry three items at a time. There is no option for choosing the quantity of items you want from stores, forcing you to buy them one at a time.
One area of the game requires you to stand behind a waterfall, not unlike the tornado from Simon's Quest, except you have to wait three minutes in EarthBound. If you lose in battle, Ness's party members remain dead and must be revived at cost (which means another trip to the ATM), all while trying to survive combat encounters with only one able fighter. Not helping matters is that, like shopping, you have to revive your friends one at a time, and even then, their PSI (this game's version of Magic Points) is not replenished, forcing you to either find butterflies or check in at a hotel, which costs money. This makes losing in the game costly of both money and time; resetting would be faster.
To save the game, you need to call your father on the phone. This wouldn't be so bad if not for the fact that your father tends to ramble. He can also call you at any time, grinding your adventure to a halt. It's not just your father, either; in one area, you can be halted by earthquakes. You can also get accosted by the Photo Guy, who will stop the game just to take your party's picture.
Backtracking is common, but the combination of the game world's size, your slow movement speed, and enemy encounters makes this even more of a hassle. A teleportation ability can make this easier, but only if nothing is standing in your path as you make the mad dash to activate the ability, and doesn't even work diagonally or even in every area. An upgrade to the ability allows you to move in a circle instead of a straight line while teleporting, but the issue with clearance of obstacles still remains.
The Nerd finds these issues incredibly frustrating, but he is willing to forgive them since the game is otherwise good and still oh so charming, and he finds himself wanting to continue just to see what happens next. Every moment of the game is interesting, from boss battles with police officers and blue-hued Ku Klux Klansmen to the bizarre neon-lit city of Moonside which can only be navigated with the help of townsfolk who warp you around, in addition to the meanings of "yes" and "no" being inverted. One maze requires you to give items to monkeys, putting your inventory management skills to the test.
One particular part of the game has players go as Poo to meditate. After waiting for a while, the game enters into a battle where Poo is confronted by an astral projection of his master, who breaks Poo's legs, then his arms, then his ears (which causes the game's audio to stop), then his eyes (blacking out the screen except for a dialogue box with psychic communication), and finally, his mind.
After that and a fight against a Diamond Dog (a literally hard boss), Ness travels to the bizarre realm of Magicant which is formed from his memories and populated by old friends and enemies, but which ceases to exist when Ness awakens. The Nerd finds this area to truly stand out. There is a grave for one character named Buzz Buzz, whom the Nerd thinks represents the collective EarthBound fandom: he met Ness ten years ago (the game started to become popular ten years after its American release) and could be for players who gave up at this particular point in the game. Afterwards, Ness must confront his inner darkness, which is represented as a golden statue, after which Ness absorbs the "power of the land" and sees his memories flash before him.
This causes the Nerd to travel to his own personal Magicant, populated by Shitpickel, the Guitar Guy, the Ninja Master from the Ninja Gaiden episode, the Glitch Gremlin, characters from the various games he played, his destroyed copy of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, the trucker from his fake commercial for Big Rigs, the shit he shat upon the Atari Jaguar CD, and his younger self.
In order to defeat the shit his life had become, the Nerd must go back to the source of his anger, which he must accomplish by beating EarthBound.
The climax of EarthBound is one of the most bizarre and memorable in the history of games. Once you're ready to confront Giygas, you learn that it is actually attacking from the past, so you must travel back in time upon the Phase Distorter to fight it. However, because the time travel process is deadly to living things, you and your friends must place your souls into robot bodies first. Now you must travel through the past, fighting your way through Starmen, the most difficult non-boss enemies in the game. They are occasionally accompanied by enemies that self-destruct and cause mortal damage when defeated, so they must be killed last so that any damage you take won't cause your HP to reach 0. Better hope you stocked up on restoratives, first; you won't have a chance to do so once you've traveled back in time.
Up to this point, the game was cutesy and adorable. Once you're within reach of the final boss, however, the game gets very dark and foreboding. After making your way up a path that looks to be made from entrails, you discover the Devil Machine which houses Giygas, accompanied by Ness's neighbor-turned-villain Pokey. Giygas appears to take the form of Ness's face when the battle begins, making this battle even more surreal.
If you manage to beat Pokey, he turns off the Devil Machine and unleashes Giygas. This leads to one of the absolute most frightening final bosses in all of gaming: Giygas's true form is vague and barely perceptible, undulating and contorting unsettlingly. Even its attacks are vague and eldritch: the game's dialogue even states "You cannot grasp the true form of Giygas' attack!" Giygas is less a being and more an idea, an intangible mental projection that cannot be physically harmed. The only way to fight Giygas is to have Paula pray for help. As the characters you met throughout the game pray for your safety, Giygas begins to take damage, drawing parallels to the Devil with how the power of prayer is the only way to vanquish this pure evil.
Making this battle all the more unsettling is that Giygas's form, intentionally or otherwise, resembles a picture of a fetus as seen from an ultrasound. The Nerd describes the final boss as very fourth wall breaking: you're not fighting a boss, but the game itself, which had become possessed by evil itself. One popular theory about Giygas is that you fight him before he is even born: the final boss fight is essentially you trying to perform an abortion to save the world from Giygas. This theory is aided by the entrance into Giygas's lair looking like a vagina, and the Devil Machine resembling a uterus. The game's lead developer, Shigesato Itoi denied the theory, but the Nerd thinks a game artist intentionally made these visual analogies. One thing that is confirmed is that Itoi accidentally walked in on a movie with a brutal murder scene as a child, which left quite the impression on him and may have helped inspire Giygas, which is essentially a representation of childhood trauma (which the Nerd imagines as the LJN logo and ET). The intentionally ambiguous nature of Giygas makes it easy to interpret it however the player wishes, which the Nerd states is one of the game's biggest strengths: you can share your unique experience with others who played the game.
The Nerd even has his own theory: Giygas is an eternal being who reincarnated as Ness, his original body from the first MOTHER being just his current body at the time. As such, Ness had been born with powers he never fully understood and that influenced animals, people, and inanimate objects to attack him, making the battles actually against Ness's dark side. The sacred melodies are reminders of his youth, and Magicant is formed after collecting them all so that Ness can examine his life up to the present and coming to terms with his past. Only then can Ness travel back in time to destroy Giygas before it can be born as Ness, in essence "exorcising" Giygas from Ness's soul. Because Giygas was born in a different dimension, Ness and his friends had to leave their mortal bodies behind and become non-copoeral beings in order to confront Giygas. Even then, they are powerless against Giygas without support from their friends and family back home.
The same is true of the Nerd, who calls upon the aid of everyone to help him beat EarthBound. As Ness and their friends get power from prayers to help them beat Giygas, the Nerd receives support from his fans the world over.
In the end, Giygas is vanquished, and EarthBound is cleared.
The Nerd awakens in his room and commends EarthBound as a must-play SNES game.
- Poor Communication Kills: The Nerd had no idea as a kid that the game was actually good, as he took the tagline in Nintendo Power about the game stinking at face value.
