House of Horror
They say that making the cut is hard, but this is a bit much.
Crypt Keeper: (wearing a powdered wig and a judge's robe, seated behind a bench; he bangs a gavel) Fright Court is now in session. Will the defendant please approach the bench? (the camera approaches) You stand accused of watching too much Tales from the Crypt. Do you understand the charge? (the camera shakes itself "no") Neither do I. But I'll tell you this: if convicted, you'll receive a stiff sentence. You may even do a little horrid time. How do you bleed? Alright, then. Let the trial begin. Our first piece of evidence is a tale about a couple of college boys who are about to undergo a little trial and terror of their own, in a writ of habeas corpses I call: House of Horror.
Waters, Arling, and Henderson (Keith Coogan, Wil Wheaton, and Jason London) are three pledges of the Gamma Delta Omega fraternity, and they're not having a good time in college. The threesome are routinely treated as slaves by pledge master Les Wilton (Kevin Dillon), a sadistic bully who enjoys torturing them and forcing them to demean themselves in the hopes of becoming full-fledged brothers. The final step of the trio's initiation process is for them to enter the Cougher House, a derelict house said to be haunted by the ghost of an ax-wielding murderer with a hacking cough, and reach the attic alive. Unknown to the trio, the house isn’t actually haunted, as Les had his tech expert friend Sparks (Michael DeLuise) rig all kinds of tricks and traps in the house to scare the trio out.
Meanwhile, the newly formed Delta Omega Alpha sorority, led by Mona (Meredith Salenger), visits the Gamma Delta house. Mona says that she was hoping for a few men to join her and her sisters for dinner, during which they can discuss affiliation opportunities during social events. Gamma Delta president Tex Crandell (Brian Krause) is eager to accept, since he nearly lets it slip that the frat is on probation and can use a sister house to help lose that status. On the other hand, Les suspects that Mona is pulling a stunt as part of her own hazing process, so the pledge master taunts her by inviting her and the sisters to come watch as he and the frat brothers lead the pledges into the house. Mona accepts his offer, but to even greater shock, there appear to be disturbances going on in the house that weren't pre-prepared by Sparks and Les, prompting the pledge master to investigate the house himself. Are the hauntings of the Cougher House as true as they say? Or is there something more ghoulish at work?
Tropes:
- Added Alliterative Appeal: Les warns Arling about the case of D.D. Dewitt by noting that they rendered him "degraded, debilitated, and defunct".
- An Arm and a Leg: Henderson's arm is tossed out a window and lands on the hood of the car. The brothers initially think it's a prop, but they discover that it's quite real when they notice Henderson's pledge ring on its hand.
- Asshole Victim: Les, who meets the business end of a chainsaw thanks to Mona and her ghouls. It's utterly impossible to sympathize with him since he's a sadistic bully to his pledges, current and former, not to mention his idea of sending his pledges to the top floor of a supposedly haunted house as their final initiation ritual. As the ending shows, this directly leads to the deaths of Henderson and Waters.
- As You Know: At Les' request, Waters, Henderson, and Arling spell out the history of the Cougher House and its original owner for the benefit of the viewers.
- The Bad Guy Wins: Mona and her sisters are successful in killing and eating Henderson, Waters, and Les. The ending indicates that they do the same to Arling and the rest of Gamma Delta after the fade to black.
- Between My Legs: Arling is seen entering the Cougher House while the camera is set between Mona's legs.
- Blackmail: Les showed the Dean classified evidence that involved him to get him to conceal the fact that Gamma Delta was leading a cheating scandal, and he was made Gamma Delta's pledge master in exchange for his silence.
- Bookends: Les brags about "The Wall of Shame" for pledges who fail to complete their initiations, such as D.D. Dewitt. At the end of the episode, when he's surrounded and eaten by Mona and her ghoul sisters, she brags about her own "Wall of Shame" for pledges who don't eat every last bite, with Les' blood splattering on it.
- The Bully: Les, both to his three current pledges and former pledge D.D. Dewitt, who had a nervous breakdown as a result of the torture. He's stayed Gamma Delta's pledge master for six years, not even bothering to drop out or graduate solely to torment keep tormenting new pledges.
- Butt-Monkey: The pledge trio are treated as slaves by Les until they can become full brothers. Near the end of the episode, Les becomes a bigger example by D.D. Dewitt, being humiliated in front of his fraternity before he ultimately meets his Karmic Death.
- Chainsaw Good: Mona and her sorority sisters use a chainsaw on their targets, as shown near the end of the episode, when they corner and kill Les with it.
- Chekhov's Gunman: D.D. Dewitt, the former pledge who was said to have suffered a nervous breakdown from the torture he got as a result of failing his initiation ritual, is revealed to be behind many of the disturbances with Les' prank.
- Comedic Spanking: Les is heavily hinted to submit the pledge trio to this, as he menacingly wields a wooden paddle in the opening scene.
- Comedic Underwear Exposure: Arling, Waters, and Henderson spend the opening scene in briefs that say "Kick Me" on the seat. It could easily be seen as funny if they weren't being forced to do so by the sadistic Les.
- Cruel and Unusual Death: Henderson, Waters, and Les are chainsawed to death, and their bodies are made meals for Mona and her sorority. It's heavily hinted at the end of the episode that Arling and the rest of the frat boys are next.
- Dartboard of Hate: Les treats the picture of failed pledge D.D. Dewitt on the "Wall of Shame" as one early in the episode.
- Deadly Game: The pledges' task is to reach the Cougher House's attic, and Les definitely treats it like a game, even wagering $100 for Arling to go in.
- Death by Adaptation: Les and the pledges. In the comic, the pledges vanished once they got to the top, and Les was sent in after them. The cops found him alive, but driven insane, with no sign of the pledges. Here, the entirety of Gamma Delta gets eaten by Mona and her sisters, whether explicitly shown or implied to become so.
- Dirty Coward: Les is ultimately exposed as a coward by D.D. Dewitt, the failed pledge who he tormented to the point of a nervous breakdown.
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: The entire episode paints a glaringly obvious picture: college hazing is dangerous.
- The Dog Bites Back: D.D. Dewitt gets one over on Les by wearing a cloak and pretending to be the ghost of the Cougher, which leaves Les screaming and humiliated in front of his frat brothers. He did this because Les previously tormented him after he failed his initiation, to the point where he suffered a nervous breakdown.
- Dying Curse: After he was swindled out of his own house by a Jerkass mayor, the Cougher cursed his former residence before he killed himself, vowing that he would return from the grave to kill any fraternity brother who stepped inside. The curse seemed to come true when nine brothers of the fraternity who bought the house, one of whom was the mayor's son, were found hacked up with an ax. It's rendered moot when it's proven that the Cougher's whole story was made up.
- Eviler than Thou: Les is the ultimate capital-A asshole frat bully, but he has the bad luck of running into a sorority composed of flesh-eating ghouls.
- Evil Is Hammy: Being the obnoxious and abusive dick he is, Les does not once ease up on the ham. DOA's own pledge mistress gets pretty hammy when she reveals herself and her sisters to be flesh-hungry ghouls.
- Evil Wears Black: Mona wears an all-black outfit when she visits the Gamma Delta frathouse, as do the sisters who join her in watching the pledges trekking through the mansion, as they're flesh-hungry ghouls disguising themselves as women.
- Exact Words: When ordering Henderson and Waters out of the attic, Arling reminds Les that his instructions said that he would get them himself, forcing him to live up to his word to gain the little respect his brothers already have for him.
- Expy: Les is basically Brett C. Shelton if he led a college fraternity instead of a military school.
- Fate Worse than Death: The "Wall of Shame" is painted as one, as whoever is pictured on it is barred from Gamma Delta and loathed by everyone else who's already a member, who are to torment them nonstop. D.D. Dewitt can vouch for the claim, as Les and his brothers made his life hell when he flunked his own initiation.
- Feet-First Introduction: Mona is given one to accentuate her sex appeal.
- Foreshadowing:
- Les threatens the pledges that they'll end up like D.D. Dewitt, a pariah to be forever bound on the "Wall of Shame", if they don't complete their initiations. Guess who drops by and scares the living shit out of Les near the end of the episode?
- Les and the brothers can also hear chainsaw sounds inside the house, even though Sparks was told to use sounds reminiscent of an ax murderer, and they play even when he's not at his remote control. The ending reveals that the sounds came from a real chainsaw, which is used by the Mona and the ghouls to kill Les. She did say that she and her sisters "LOVE fraternity men", and wanted them to join them for "dinner".
- Henderson also jokes about using a chainsaw to kill Les as he and his fellow pledges debate on how they would do it.
- Fiendish Fraternity:
- Gamma Delta seems to be fun for official members, but through his humiliating tortures, Les makes things an absolute nightmare for pledges foolish or unlucky enough to want to join.
- DOA is even worse. It's hard to top a sorority composed of cannibalistic ghouls.
- For the Evulz: Les stayed in his college fraternity for six years, not even bothering to graduate or drop out as long as he gets to torture helpless pledges.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Les. His brothers talk trash behind his back, and his pledges only tolerate him to become brothers of Gamma Delta. Les also blackmailed the Dean of the university with personal evidence to cover up the cheating scandal Gamma Delta was running and obtained the position of pledge master for his silence, which he's gotten away with for six years. As the brothers say to the pledges, "Guys like Wilton never graduate."
- Fun with Acronyms: What makes Delta Omega Alpha, the name of Mona's sorority, a Meaningful Name is its acronyms: "DOA", which stands for "Dead on Arrival".
- Gory Discretion Shot: Les' death is marked with his blood splattering on a ramshackle "Wall of Shame" sign inside the Cougher House.note
- Hate Sink: Les is a twisted bully who gets his jollies from bossing his pledges around and forcing them to demean themselves to become members of his fraternity.
- Haunted House: The Cougher House, alleged to be haunted by the ghost of a ax-wielding hermit with a hacking cough, who killed nine brothers of the fraternity who took over the house (one of them being the son of the mayor who stole his house from under him), which led the house being condemned. It's revealed at the end that the legend of the Cougher's ghost was made up and printed in the campus newspaper so pledges could research it for initiations, but the house is somewhat haunted, as it's used as the living quarters for a sorority of flesh-eating ghouls.
- The Hermit: The Cougher, the alleged original owner of the haunted house that drives the plot.
- I Kiss Your Foot: Les makes Arling do this with his shoes... with dog shit on them.
- Incurable Cough of Death: The Cougher supposedly got his name for his hacking cough, which could be heard from miles away. Sparks plays recordings of hacking coughs, taken from the hospital's lung cancer ward, inside the house itself to psyche out the nervous pledges.
- Informed Attribute: Tex Crandell is noted to be the Gamma Delta president, but the episode frames it as though Les is the real decision maker for the fraternity. Tex finally shows his true power near the end of the episode, where he threatens Les with expulsion if he doesn't retrieve the missing Waters and Henderson.
- Initiation Ceremony: Les forces the pledge trio to get to the attic of the allegedly haunted Cougher House alive if they wish to be accepted as Gamma Delta brothers. DOA has their own ceremony to lure fraternity brothers into the house, which is revealed to be their sorority house, and eat them alive.
- Ironic Echo: Les acts like a chicken to persuade the pledges into stepping inside the Cougher House. His brothers throw this back at him when he's dared to go up to the second floor, and again by D.D. Dewitt, when he gets revenge on Les for the torture that he put him through.
- Jerkass Has a Point: Les suspects that Mona inviting herself and her sisters to watch the pledges' initiation is part of their own hazing ceremony. Not only was he right all along, Les also found himself to be the sisters' guest of honor, i.e. their dinner.
- Karma Houdini: Mona and her ghouls get away with killing Les, Henderson, and Waters, and they end the episode by going after Arling and the rest of Gamma Delta.
- Kensington Gore: Les is shown to have covered the stairway railing of the Cougher House with strawberry jelly, made to look like it's blood in the dim lighting.
- "Kick Me" Prank: The pledges have "Kick Me" on the seats of their briefs, establishing their pathetic status.
- Kick the Dog: After forcing Arling to kiss his dog-shit covered sneakers, Les smears it on the floor to increase the young pledge's workload of scrubbing it with his toothbrush.
- Meaningful Name: Overlapping with the above-listed Fun with Acronyms, Delta Omega Alpha, the name of Mona's sorority, is referred to as "DOA", which stands for "Dead on Arrival".
- Nobody Calls Me "Chicken"!: Waters is told that someone in a cloak holding an ax was seen through the window, but he goes in anyway when Les starts clucking.
- Off with His Head!: Les gets his head chopped off with a chainsaw, where it rolls down the stairs and shows the Gamma Delta members what's happened to him.
- Our Ghouls Are Creepier: Mona and her sisters look like normal women in the light, so as to blend in with society. Inside their sorority house, they transform into ghouls who prey on fraternity men.
- Red Herring: The rumors of the Cougher's ghost haunting his old house are proven false, since Les reveals that the whole story was made up and printed in the campus newspaper so inaugural pledges could research it. It's doubly subverted once it's revealed that Mona and her ghoulish sisters were behind all the killings, as the house serves as their living quarters.
- The Reveal: The Cougher House isn't haunted by the ghost of its former owner after all. Les reveals to Arling that the whole story was made up and printed in the campus newspaper so inaugural pledges could research the house. The ending reveals that the house doubles as the sorority house of Mona and her sisters, who are ghouls that feed on fraternity brothers.
- Sadist: Les, who stayed in college longer than a frat brother normally should solely to torment pledges. He also looks back fondly on the time he tortured D.D. Dewitt to the point of a nervous breakdown.
- "Scooby-Doo" Hoax: The tale of the Cougher's ghost was made up years ago and printed in the campus newspaper so pledges could look it up for initiations. Les and his techie friend Sparks rig various sound effects and mechanical dummies to scare the pledges out of the house to sell them on the legend. When things start going wrong and the pledges go missing, it's revealed that D.D. Dewitt had tampered with Les' plot to scare him shitless as revenge for the torment he put him through. This reveal is topped by another reveal that Mona and her fellow ghouls were behind everything, luring Gamma Delta to their sorority house so they could eat them as part of their own hazing ritual.
- Serial Killer: The Cougher was alleged to be one in life, and is teased as being a ghostly one who haunts his former house. The ending proves that this last theory isn't true, since his story was made up years ago, but there are killers who live in it.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: The pledges speak like this to Les and other brothers, having been conditioned to treat them like royalty through Les' abuse.
- Sinister Sorority Sisters: There's a reason Delta Omega Alpha's initials spell "D.O.A.": they're an all-ghoul sorority.
- Southern Belle: Mona speaks in such an accent to highlight her sex appeal.
- Strange Minds Think Alike: Les and Mona keep walls of "Fame" and "Shame" for pledges who either make the cut or flunk initiations.
- Techno Wizard: Les' friend Sparks, who rigs the Cougher House with spooky sounds and animatronic dummies to scare the pledges out.
- Toothbrush Floor Scrubbing: The pledges are seen doing this to Les' floor in the beginning of the episode, while wearing tighty-whities that say "Kick Me".
- Tragic Villain: The Cougher is painted as one in his fake origin story. He was a creepy hermit, sure, but he only became a murderer after a mayor swindled him out of his house so it could be given to a fraternity (of which he was a former member) when their previous house burned down, leading the Cougher to curse the place and commit suicide, then return from the grave to kill nine brothers of the fraternity that took it over.
- Uncertain Doom: It's not shown if Mona and the rest of DOA killed the Gamma Delta men that stayed downstairs or not, though it's highly likely that they're preparing to do so after the fade to black.
- Uncool Undies: The pledges are seen scrubbing the floor with their own toothbrushes in nothing but socks and tighty-whities that say "Kick Me" on the seat.
- Wacky Fratboy Hijinx: Les has his techie friend Sparks rig the Cougher House with scary sounds and dummies to drive the pledge trio out of the house screaming their heads off, all for him and his brothers' amusement. It starts veering into dangerous territory when the pledges go missing.
- Before all of that begins, Gamma Delta is implied to have had a history of rather violent hazes, as president Tex Crandell almost lets it slip that the fraternity is on probation, and could use a sister house to get that status revoked.
- Wham Shot: When the members of DOA step out of the darkness into the light, their faces reveal that they're flesh-eating ghouls who are aching to eat Les.
Crypt Keeper: (shaking his head) Poor Les! I know they say that college costs an arm and a leg, but this is ridiculous! (cackles) Still, I think he'd have been happy to know he was part of one last food fright. (a skeletal arm hands him a slip of paper) Ahh, I see we've reached a verdict. Members of the gory, do you fiend the defendant guilty or not guilty? (the camera pans over to the jury, revealing that they consist of skeletons hung from nooses) What do you know? A hung jury! (cackles)
