Original airdate: October 30th, 2014
Production code: 1026-029
One morning, Steven cries for Pearl to save him, only for her to find out that Steven was playing Steven Tag with Garnet and Amethyst. In the form of Steven with cool sunglasses, Garnet wins this round by throwing Amethyst, also shape-shifted into the form of Steven, up in the air and knocking her down on the sand.
Steven finds Ronaldo making paranormal theories about the holes from the cave parasites. Afterwards, Steven joins him on his quest. Later they find rocks from the red eye, which Ronaldo states grew from the ground. Then they found flowers from Rose's moss. Ronaldo reveals that Peedee is not into paranormal events, so Ronaldo puts his trust in Steven. Later, at the top of the lighthouse, Steven finds out that Ronaldo's theories were about snake people, or "Sneeple", taking over the world, leading Steven to gain a fear of snakes.
Steven goes back home to tell the gems, Amethyst and Pearl, about the snake people by showing them the "evidence" Ronaldo showed him. Pearl and Amethyst point out that all of that stuff was caused by them and the monsters they fight. When Steven tells Ronaldo the truth, Ronaldo declines it and tells Steven not to listen to minor facts and start making your own truths. Steven says that's sounds like the opposite of truth. When Ronaldo lifts the print from the crater on the beach, it's shaped like Steven. Steven begins to explain Steven Tag, but Ronaldo stop him and then sadly walks away. Steven finds Ronaldo's blog is about to be removed. Pearl tells Steven not to feel bad over disappointing him, as people create conspiracy theories because they want to feel important. Steven tells the other Crystal Gems he has an idea to "fix" Ronaldo, and he'll be back in a hour.
Steven tries to cheer up Ronaldo by pretending to be a snake person to scare him and Peedee, but Ronaldo knocks Steven out with a potato. Steven wakes up in the lighthouse tied up by Ronaldo with Peedee watching from afar. The gems come to rescue Steven. Ronaldo revealed his golden armor and tries to attack the gems, but they beat him easily. Steven frees himself from the rope and stops the fight revealing that the "snake person" Ronaldo captured was him in a costume. Steven tells the gems that he was trying to inspire Ronaldo, which doesn't seem to have worked, but then Peedee gives him new theories about everything that he missed, facts about the Crystal Gems. He laughs, overcome with joy. Peedee, Steven, and the Crystal Gems leave the lighthouse together while Ronaldo happily shouts that the truth will be revealed.
We Iris Out over Ronaldo ranting triumphantly.
Tropes:
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Ronaldo believes the snake people distract humanity with elections, sports, and anime message boards.
- Bowdlerise: Originally, Ronaldo was going to knock Steven out with a telescoping baton
. This was judged as far too violent, so in the final episode Ronaldo use a potato. - Character Blog: We see the blog this episode shares its name with throughout the episode. It was updated in real time (on the Cartoon Network east coast feed) when Ronaldo has his Heroic BSoD to say that he's shutting down the blog. Of course, he takes it back later.
- Cheap Costume: Steven dresses up as a snake person to cheer up Ronaldo. The consists of pants with a scaly texture and feet with claws, along with, basically, a ghost sheet decorated to look like a snake. This leads Ronaldo into thinking that Steven is an actual snake person and he knocks Steven out.
- Continuity Cavalcade: The "evidence" of Snake People that Ronaldo finds are all aftereffects and reports of Crystal Gem activities:
- The holes the drill parasites made are still around, as are pieces of the Red Eye and some of Rose Quartz's moss flowers.
- In the Lighthouse there is a picture of Steven's cat fingers along with articles about the theatre being attacked by a strange creature, the ocean being drained and a strange man impersonating a local boy.
- The Cuckoolander Was Right:
- Ronaldo correctly deduces that the many strange goings-on reported in Beach City have a common cause. He's just very wrong about what the cause is.
- It may have been a bastardization of Steven mentioning everything is because of the Crystal Gems, but, in the end, he reasons it's all because of "polymorphic, sentient rocks" does get to the point in a roundabout way.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: On one side, we have the Crystal Gems, three alien Action Girls with superhuman strength and abilities, as well as thousands of years of combat experience, plus the extra motivation of a loved one being in danger. On the other side, we have Ronaldo, a normal human teen who's not even in shape. He refuses to back down, but you can guess the outcome of the fight.
- Currency Conspiracy: At the end of the episode, Ronaldo comes up with a new conspiracy based on the diamond on the one dollar bill, proclaiming that "polymorphic sentient rocks" have come to "hollow out the earth" as part of the "diamond authority".
- A Day in the Limelight: Ronaldo is a major character in this episode.
- Expospeak Gag: In the end, Ronaldo decides that the reason behind the weirdness isn't snake people or the Crystal Gems, it's "polymorphic sentient rocks". In other words, shape-shifting gem creatures.
- Fantastically Indifferent: Taken to its logical extreme here. The Gems are so mundane by now that when Steven explains that he and the Gems are responsible for pretty much everything weird that happens in town, Ronaldo gets incredibly depressed. It's just too easy, rather than the complicated conspiracy he built in his own mind.
- Gone Horribly Right: Steven's attempt to help Ronaldo by posing as a snake person goes a little too well, to say the least.
- Government Conspiracy: Ronaldo believes the government is controlled by snake people.
- Hard Head: Ronaldo receives a high kick to the jaw and has a wooden barrel smashed on his head. Both are painful, but he recovers in seconds.
- Heroic BSoD: Ronaldo pretty much has his soul crushed after Steven reveals to him that all the weird stuff that happens in Beach City has always been the result of the Gems.
- Iris Out: Over Ronaldo at the top of the lighthouse raving on about the Great Diamond Authority.
- It's All About Me: This episode deconstructs Ronaldo's motivation for being a conspiracy nut, as he mainly does it so he can feel important.
- Jerkass Has a Point: Pearl's summary of Ronaldo and why he's obsessed with weirdness is incredibly harsh to him and racist towards humans in general, but in his case is entirely accurate.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: One of the posts on the snake message board says that a show has been terrible
ever since they changed the designs. The pilot designs and the series designs for Steven Universe are very different and some fans prefer the pilot designs to the series designs. - Mama Bear: The Crystal Gems do quite a number on Ronaldo when they find him after he (unknowingly) kidnaps Steven. Really, it's quite amazing that he survives essentially uninjured.
- Nightmare Face: Ronaldo’s expressions can go from cutesy to creepy, depending on his Sanity Slippage.
- Punch Catch: Ronaldo attempts to punch Pearl... who effortlessly blocks with an open palm, not even budging while Ronaldo hurts himself on her hand.
- Reptilian Conspiracy: Ronaldo believes reptilian shapeshifters control the government. Not to be confused with what Ronaldo calls them, Snake People.
- Shout-Out: Ronaldo's definition of "truth" sounds like a rephrased version of the definition of Truthiness.
- Smug Super: Ronaldo's disappointment that his conspiracy theories were wrong causes Pearl to make a short speech calling humanity delusional and self-absorbed, though she pretty accurately describes Ronaldo. It doesn't exactly help that she says the following with an upturned nose and a "that's such a silly question" smile.Pearl: Humans just live short, boring insignificant lives, so they make up stories to feel like they're part of something bigger. They want to blame all the world's problem on some single enemy they can fight, instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control.
Amethyst: It's sad... and funny!
Pearl: Don't feel bad about it, okay? It's not like he was ever going to be right. - Stealth Pun: Ronaldo has spent lots of time in the lighthouse, pondering the source of phenomena which were just caused by the Crystal Gems and related events. The lighthouse is located on top the cliff the Gem Temple is built into. This means the answer to his questions was literally right beneath his feet.
- Sudden Anatomy: Amethyst in Steven's form has visible eyelashes, even though she normally doesn't.
- Take That!: Ronaldo takes a shot at people who argue whether subtitled anime is superior to dubbed anime. Another visible post mocks people who insists on moronically literal translation, saying a character's name must be "Koara", not "Koala", at the same time confusing Chinese with Japanese.
