“Well, I just feel bad because we really need to rehearse that Nine Inch Nails medley for our concert at Yarn for Cheap.”' - Jocelyn Schitt
The Plant
Alexis, wearing a sparkly dress, welcomes Stevie, Johnny and Roland to her office, which is also her and David’s motel room. She tells them that most V.I.P.s wouldn’t be caught dead in a motel like this, but she has secured a visit from a famous hotel blogger named Emir Kaplan. Johnny remembers that when he ran Rose Video, they used to plant customers in stores to say positive things. Roland volunteers, but Alexis suggests Stevie. She also suggests Johnny be the manager, and he points out that he is.
David and Patrick are in bed at Patrick’s room at Ray’s house. Patrick is reading a book and drinking coffee, and David is sleeping on his shoulder. Ray barges in saying “Knock, Knock, everybody decent.” Patrick politely reminds Ray that he is supposed to actually knock and not just say knock. Ray offers to make them breakfast and keeps coming in and out, while Patrick and David get increasingly more annoyed. The last straw is when Ray tells David that despite talking about how much he eats, Ray has seen him walk to the shower and he looks fine. Patrick realizes David isn’t going to take this well and says they need a minute. When Ray is gone, Patrick says they have to look for an apartment, and David is surprised but agrees. Ray returns, and David still wants breakfast.
At the Cafe, Moira is telling Ronnie a Bosnian story. Twyla brings their food and asks if Moira is telling more Bosnian stories. Ronnie says she never seems to run out of them. Moira then tries to order an obscure Bosnia pastry called a kifla. A disheveled Jocelyn arrives with Roland jr in a stroller and notices Ronnie and Moira have already ordered even though she is seven minutes late. She is tired and regrets that Roland has to work so she might miss rehearsal for the Jazzagals. Ronnie and Twyla say motherhood comes first. Jocelyn hints that she wants to come, but the others don’t get the hints, and Moira offers to step in as the leader. Twyla offers to do her solo. Roland jr. starts to cry, and Jocelyn says these days either he’s crying or she is. She leaves with the baby, clearly frayed.
Johnny, Alexis and Roland welcome Emir to the motel, and Alexis introduces Johnny as the manager and Roland as the guest services liaison, which he insists being pronounced with a French accent along with his name. He offers a bunch of services the motel doesn’t offer and Alexis laughs loudly at Emir’s mild joke. Roland and Alexis take him to his room, and Stevie appears and pretends to be Miss Felmington, a happy guest. She is clearly uncomfortable. Alexis, Johnny and Roland leave. Stevie continues her role, but when Emir starts to flirt with her, they start to banter. Stevie smiles at him.
Alexis arrives at her room to find David, and she asks him to stay at Patrick’s because his vibe is intense and they’ve got a VIP guest. David says he’s a selling point. They then discuss Patrick and David looking at an apartment, and Alexis is excited that they might be living together and she might get the room to herself. David is unsure, and she says that if your boyfriend asks you to live together, you do it.
At the town hall, The Jazzagals clap and Moira compliments them for being moody. Moira reminds Ronnie that the line has been changed to “I want to ‘’kiss’’ you like an animal,” which she says she’ll remember on the day. Moira tells everyone to scour their closets for black leather, pleather accepted. Jocelyn arrives, breathless and having found a sitter, and they tell her they moved the rehearsal up an hour because of Ronnie’s massage. Moira says it was also better for Twyla. Jocelyn is clearly upset, and lets loose on all of them for their selfishness.
Roland tells Johnny he’s initiated a turndown service as part of his new job as guest services manager. Johnny says he thought it was liaison. Stevie comes in and Johnny asks her for intel. She says she had a nap, a beer and now needs $40. Emir has invited her to lunch. Johnny is concerned this is too far. Alexis arrives, and Roland tells her Johnny is forcing Stevie into an uncomfortable situation with a strange man. Stevie insists she wants to go and needs $50, because she also needs shampoo.
At the cafe, Emir is telling Stevie horror stories about being a motel reviewer. They banter, but she is reluctant to tell him anything about herself. When he says he likes his job but is always unsure who to trust, given his job, she quickly admits she’s a plant. He is amused and invites her to stay and have lunch anyway because he rarely gets to dine with a beautiful woman.
At the Town Hall, Moira stands next to Jocelyn and is telling everyone how hard Jocelyn finds it to be honest, to Jocelyn’s chagrin. Jocelyn then tries to tell them how she has been feeling and she criticizes Ronnie and Twyla. Moira encourages her, until she turns her anger on Moira. Jocelyn tells her they are all sick of Bosnia stories. Moira tries to shut it down then.
David and Patrick are in the hall of the apartment building, and David is already skeptical. Patrick tells David that when he moved to town and got a room with Ray, he didn’t know how long he’d be staying. He smiles at David and says, now here we are. Ray appears and says this is bittersweet because he’d be losing Patrick as a roommate, but he’d be gaining a commission. He shows them into a very small studio apartment and shows them around. David is even more skeptical, but Patrick loves it. David looks for the closets, and Ray shows him a “step-in” closet. Patrick says it’s pretty, and David says…it’s pretty…and does not finish.
Alexis, Roland and Johnny welcome Stevie back, and Johnny is concerned. Emir and Stevie team up, and he needles Johnny and says he wants to take Miss Felmington to dinner. Alexis isn’t happy with losing control of the situation. When Stevie and Emir are alone, he says he wants to go finish his review before dinner so he won’t be biased.
Patrick and David stand in the apartment, and Patrick says he wants it. David says no, Ray is obnoxious and Patrick realizes he thinks they are moving in together. He gently corrects David and says he wants the place for himself alone. So, David agrees that if it is just for Patrick and occasionally David would be sleeping over, he thinks it is cute. Patrick then smiles and asks if he thought they were ready to move together. David, relieved, says it was a timing and a closet space issue but they can negotiate down the line. They kiss, and Ray interrupts them.
At the motel, Alexis is in her pajamas and reads Emir’s rave to Johnny and Moira. David arrives and snarks on the review, and he wants to know how to sign up for the turn down service.
Tropes that Appear in this Episode:
- Bad Liar: Although she's a better liar in other situations, Stevie is unable to sustain a lie with Emir.
- Foreign Culture Fetish: Everyone is getting sick of Moira's Bosnian stories.
- Its Pronounced Tropay: Roland insists his name is pronounced "Ro-LAHND".
- Laser-Guided Karma: Stevie cracks before drinks with Emir and admits she's a plant because he's charming and kind. His response? To continue complimenting her and ask her to stay, launching a brief and meaningful relationship.
- Meet Cute: Stevie and Emir have romantic comedy banter.
- Obsessed with Food: David may be annoyed with Ray but not enough to reject his breakfast offer.
- Odd Couple: David and Patrick have very different expectations about what makes a good apartment. Fortunately, it turns out Patrick wasn't expecting David to move in with him just yet.
- Poke the Poodle: Jocelyn hits her Rage Breaking Point and yells at the Jazzagals, ending with her calling them a bunch of B-Words. They respond with appropriate shock and horror.
- Poor Communication Kills: Averted. What could have been a big fight and source of hurt between David and Patrick turns out okay as they talk things out.
- Rage Breaking Point: Jocelyn has had enough.
- Roommate Drama: Ray being an overly friendly roommate to Patrick is the impetus of Patrick getting his own place.
- Shady Real Estate Agent: Ray is certainly the most optimistic of real estate agents, putting a positive spin on all the apartment's modest features.
- Stealth Insult: Alexis's insults are barely stealth.
- T-Word Euphemism: Jocelyn calls the Jazzagals a bunch of B-Words.
- When She Smiles: We know Stevie likes Emir because she smiles radiantly at him more than once.
