Orc #1: [points at Tauriel] Kill the She-Elf!
Orc #2: [leans in, nudging] Which one is the She-Elf?
Orc #1: Oooohhhh!
Orc #1 and #2: [laughing together]
Orc #2: Geddit? 'Cos dey all look the same!
Orc #2: [leans in, nudging] Which one is the She-Elf?
Orc #1: Oooohhhh!
Orc #1 and #2: [laughing together]
Orc #2: Geddit? 'Cos dey all look the same!
Aragorn: Your character is seriously hot. She's hawt with a capital "haw".
Legolas: My character is a man.
Aragorn: Your character portrait says different. Me-ow!
Legolas: My character is a man.
Aragorn: Your character portrait says different. Me-ow!
Kili: Can't say I fancy elf maids myself. Too thin. They're all high cheekbones and creamy skin... not enough facial hair for me. Although, that one there's not bad.
Dwalin: That's not an elf maid.
Dwalin: That's not an elf maid.
— The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Extended Edition
"Avoid elven romance. The union of a mortal man and an immortal elf can only end in sorrow. Also that's totally a dude."
— Narrator, The Handbook of Heroes
