Thank you! Thank you very much! You know, since I took care of Mr. Jannetty so quickly, I came prepared. Malenko, you claim to be The Man of 1000 Holds, but I counted and you know about 60. But I know 1004 and I wrote them all down, here we go:
Hold 1: Arm drag.
Hold 2: Armbar.
Hold 3: The Moss-Covered Three-Handled Family Grudunzle.
Hold 4: Armbar.
Number 5: The Saskatchewan Spinning Nerve Hold.
Number 8: Armbar.
Number 9: Shooting Star Staple Super Press.
Number 10: Right hand—
(fade to commercial and back)
Hold Number 712: Armbar.
Hold Number 713: The Hisridhdsih.
Hold Number 714: The Canadian—
(later...)
Hold Number 723—whoa—I'm starting to get blown up here.
Hold Number 723: The Jericho Screwdriver Twist.
(Prince Iaukea arrives to the ring)
Hold Number 725: The Super Blizzard
(Prince Iaukea enters the ring)
I still got 204!
Hold 1: Arm drag.
Hold 2: Armbar.
Hold 3: The Moss-Covered Three-Handled Family Grudunzle.
Hold 4: Armbar.
Number 5: The Saskatchewan Spinning Nerve Hold.
Number 8: Armbar.
Number 9: Shooting Star Staple Super Press.
Number 10: Right hand—
(fade to commercial and back)
Hold Number 712: Armbar.
Hold Number 713: The Hisridhdsih.
Hold Number 714: The Canadian—
(later...)
Hold Number 723—whoa—I'm starting to get blown up here.
Hold Number 723: The Jericho Screwdriver Twist.
(Prince Iaukea arrives to the ring)
Hold Number 725: The Super Blizzard
(Prince Iaukea enters the ring)
I still got 204!
—Chris Jericho becomes the Man of 1004 Holds, WCW Nitro, March 30, 1998
Chris Jericho: Welcome to RAW! IS! JERICHO!
(the crowd cheers for Jericho)
And I am the new millennium for the World Wrestling Federation! Now for those of you who don't know me: I am Chris Jericho, your... your new hero, your party host, and most importantly, the most charismatic showman to ever enter your living rooms via a television screen. And for those of you who do know me: Well, All Hail the Ayatollah of Rock AND Rollah!
(some of the crowd boos Jericho instead)
Jerry Lawler: He's got a nice haircut, I can say that.
Jericho: Now, when you think of the new millennium, you think of an event so gigantic that it changes the course of history. You think of a dawning of a new era—
(the crowd chants "Rocky! Rocky!")
Jericho: In this case, the dawning of a new era in the WWF.
(the crowd continues chants "Rocky! Rocky!")
Jim Ross: The Rock is not impressed.
Jericho: Thank you, thank you.
JR: Jericho's got a lot of guts...
Jericho: And a new era is what this once proud and profitable company sorely needs. What was once a captivating, trend-setting program has now deteriorated into a clichéd—let's be honest—boring snooze fest that is in dire need of a Knight in Shining Armor.
King: He's talking about you now, JR.
Jericho: And that's why I'm here...
JR: Huh.
Jericho: Chris Jericho has come to save the WWF!
JR: Aw, from what?
Jericho: Now, let's go over the facts. Television ratings: downward spiral. Pay-Per-View buy rates: plummeted. Mainstream acceptance: non-existent. And reactions of the live crowd: complete and utter silence. And I know why you're silent. You're silent because you're embarrassed to be here. And quite honestly I'm embarrassed for you. And the reason why you're embarrassed is because of the steady stream of uninteresting, untalented, mediocre "sports entertainers", for who you're forced to cheer for and care for. No wonder you're not cheering. You can care less about every single idiot in that dressing room. And especially this idiot in the center of the ring. You people have been led to believe that mediocrity is excellence. Uh-uh, Jericho is excellence! And now for the first time in WWF history, you have a man who can entertain you. You have a man who is good enough for you. You have a man who can make you jump off your chairs, raise your filthy fat little hands in the air and scream: "Go Jericho Go! Go Jericho, go! Go Jericho, go!"
(audience chants "Go Jericho, go!")
Jericho: Thank you. The new millennium has arrived in the WWF and now that the Y2J problem is here, this company, from the front office idiots to all the amateurs in the dressing room, including this one, to everybody watching tonight will never... EE—EE—EE—EVER...be the same...again!
(the crowd cheers for Jericho)
And I am the new millennium for the World Wrestling Federation! Now for those of you who don't know me: I am Chris Jericho, your... your new hero, your party host, and most importantly, the most charismatic showman to ever enter your living rooms via a television screen. And for those of you who do know me: Well, All Hail the Ayatollah of Rock AND Rollah!
(some of the crowd boos Jericho instead)
Jerry Lawler: He's got a nice haircut, I can say that.
Jericho: Now, when you think of the new millennium, you think of an event so gigantic that it changes the course of history. You think of a dawning of a new era—
(the crowd chants "Rocky! Rocky!")
Jericho: In this case, the dawning of a new era in the WWF.
(the crowd continues chants "Rocky! Rocky!")
Jim Ross: The Rock is not impressed.
Jericho: Thank you, thank you.
JR: Jericho's got a lot of guts...
Jericho: And a new era is what this once proud and profitable company sorely needs. What was once a captivating, trend-setting program has now deteriorated into a clichéd—let's be honest—boring snooze fest that is in dire need of a Knight in Shining Armor.
King: He's talking about you now, JR.
Jericho: And that's why I'm here...
JR: Huh.
Jericho: Chris Jericho has come to save the WWF!
JR: Aw, from what?
Jericho: Now, let's go over the facts. Television ratings: downward spiral. Pay-Per-View buy rates: plummeted. Mainstream acceptance: non-existent. And reactions of the live crowd: complete and utter silence. And I know why you're silent. You're silent because you're embarrassed to be here. And quite honestly I'm embarrassed for you. And the reason why you're embarrassed is because of the steady stream of uninteresting, untalented, mediocre "sports entertainers", for who you're forced to cheer for and care for. No wonder you're not cheering. You can care less about every single idiot in that dressing room. And especially this idiot in the center of the ring. You people have been led to believe that mediocrity is excellence. Uh-uh, Jericho is excellence! And now for the first time in WWF history, you have a man who can entertain you. You have a man who is good enough for you. You have a man who can make you jump off your chairs, raise your filthy fat little hands in the air and scream: "Go Jericho Go! Go Jericho, go! Go Jericho, go!"
(audience chants "Go Jericho, go!")
Jericho: Thank you. The new millennium has arrived in the WWF and now that the Y2J problem is here, this company, from the front office idiots to all the amateurs in the dressing room, including this one, to everybody watching tonight will never... EE—EE—EE—EVER...be the same...again!
—Chris Jericho's WWF debut
Jericho: Welcome to...Raw! Is! Jericho! This is not a mirage. This is real. This is here. This is now. This is the second coming of Y2J! You remembered. I want you to take out your cell phones, text your friends, take a picture, shoot a video, send an email, call them all and tell them that the sexy beast is back, baby! And I promise to ignite you, to excite you, to delight you, and I invite you to strap on your seatbelts, ease the seat back, click it into gear, and go into overdrive because from this point forward it's 100% entertainment, 100% electricity, 100% Jericho!
Randy Orton: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Who the hell do you think you are? The last time I saw you, Jericho, you were getting fired on Raw. And it's a good thing too, 'cause if you would have stayed on Raw, would have just been a matter of time before I kicked you in your head and ended your career. So tell us. Tell us, old savior, what's so important that you had to come back? What exactly? What exactly are you saving us from?
Jericho: Well, your boring personality for one. You want me to continue? How about saving us from that face of yours that looks like you got flattened by a frying pan? Or your monotonous robotic Randy Orton voice? Or how about I save us from childbearing hips? Your super cuts hairstyle? Your subscription to Blue Balls Magazine? But most importantly, Randy Orton, I'm here to save us from you. Because the first chance I get, I'm gonna take that WWE Championship from you. And I'm going to put it around this gorgeous waist and when I do...Monday Night Raw, The WWE Sports Entertainment, Entertainment Entertainment, the state of Florida, the country of the United States, the Western Hemisphere, the planet Earth, the heavens above, the galaxies, the crown nebula, the universe itself... will NEVER... NEVER... NEEEEEVEEERRR... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... be the same...again!"
Randy Orton: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Who the hell do you think you are? The last time I saw you, Jericho, you were getting fired on Raw. And it's a good thing too, 'cause if you would have stayed on Raw, would have just been a matter of time before I kicked you in your head and ended your career. So tell us. Tell us, old savior, what's so important that you had to come back? What exactly? What exactly are you saving us from?
Jericho: Well, your boring personality for one. You want me to continue? How about saving us from that face of yours that looks like you got flattened by a frying pan? Or your monotonous robotic Randy Orton voice? Or how about I save us from childbearing hips? Your super cuts hairstyle? Your subscription to Blue Balls Magazine? But most importantly, Randy Orton, I'm here to save us from you. Because the first chance I get, I'm gonna take that WWE Championship from you. And I'm going to put it around this gorgeous waist and when I do...Monday Night Raw, The WWE Sports Entertainment, Entertainment Entertainment, the state of Florida, the country of the United States, the Western Hemisphere, the planet Earth, the heavens above, the galaxies, the crown nebula, the universe itself... will NEVER... NEVER... NEEEEEVEEERRR... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... be the same...again!"
—Chris Jericho's second coming
"Would you please, shut the hell up? And allow me to welcome to all of you to Raw! Is! JERICHO! And after tonight, none of you in this ring will ever... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...BE THE SAME...AGAIN!"
