Narrator: When they finally beheld the mighty Ape Mountain, they reacted with awe!
Group: Awwwww....
Narrator: I said "Awe". A-W-E.
Group: Oooooh...
Narrator: That's better.
Group: Awwwww....
Narrator: I said "Awe". A-W-E.
Group: Oooooh...
Narrator: That's better.
Mrs. White: He had threatened to kill me in public.
Miss Scarlett: Why would he want to kill you in public?
Wadsworth: I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.
Miss Scarlett: Why would he want to kill you in public?
Wadsworth: I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.
— Clue
King Candy: [Pulls out a pair of glasses] You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?
Ralph: [Proceeds to grab the glasses and hits King Candy over the head with them]
King Candy: You hit a guy... with glasses... that, heh, that's well played.
Ralph: [Proceeds to grab the glasses and hits King Candy over the head with them]
King Candy: You hit a guy... with glasses... that, heh, that's well played.
Miss Price: This is Poisoned Dragon's Liver.
Paul: You mean they poisoned the dragon, or just the liver?
Paul: You mean they poisoned the dragon, or just the liver?
universalpotatochip: My stomach growled super loud in French omg
universalpotatochip: I would like to clarify my stomach did not speak French. It growled in French class I apologize
universalpotatochip: I would like to clarify my stomach did not speak French. It growled in French class I apologize
Mike: Billie was drunkenly mauled by a bear.
Walky: ...What?
Mike: ...She was drunk, not the bear.
Dorothy: Mike!
Mike: Fine, they were both drunk.
Walky: ...What?
Mike: ...She was drunk, not the bear.
Dorothy: Mike!
Mike: Fine, they were both drunk.
Ford: It's unpleasantly like being drunk.
Arthur: What's so unpleasant about being drunk?
Ford: You ask a glass of water.
Arthur: What's so unpleasant about being drunk?
Ford: You ask a glass of water.
weak fungicide
The liquid in this can is actually very powerful, it's just that it's tailored to kill weak fungi.
The liquid in this can is actually very powerful, it's just that it's tailored to kill weak fungi.
Kenshi: Tanya.
Tanya: Another fool wants to test me.
Kenshi: He'll have to wait til we're done.
Tanya: Another fool wants to test me.
Kenshi: He'll have to wait til we're done.
— Match Intro dialogue from Mortal Kombat X
Bard: I take the glove off its paw and I kiss it.
DM: The hand or the glove?
Bard: The bear.
DM: The hand or the glove?
Bard: The bear.
— Entry from Out of Context D&D
<SRG> Metallica sold out in 45 mins :/
<NotOneOfUs> Yeah I know.
<NotOneOfUs> Oh wait
<NotOneOfUs> You mean, like, a concert?
<SRG> yes
<NotOneOfUs> Yeah I know.
<NotOneOfUs> Oh wait
<NotOneOfUs> You mean, like, a concert?
<SRG> yes
— This
Bash.org quote
Bash.org quoteKaecilius: Mister...?
Strange: Doctor.
Kaecilius: Mister Doctor?
Strange: It's... "Strange".
Kaecilius: Maybe. Who am I to judge?
Strange: Doctor.
Kaecilius: Mister Doctor?
Strange: It's... "Strange".
Kaecilius: Maybe. Who am I to judge?
My all-time favorite example of syntactic ambiguity comes from Wikipedia: 'Charlotte's Web is a children's novel by American author E. B. White, about a pig named Wilbur who is saved from being slaughtered by an intelligent spider named Charlotte.'
Person 1: I'm giving up alcohol for a month.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Sorry, that came out wrong.
Person 1: I'm giving up.
Person 1: Alcohol for a month.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Sorry, that came out wrong.
Person 1: I'm giving up.
Person 1: Alcohol for a month.
— Unknown source
Juliet: Well, that's it for me then. Gonna send my eyes off to prison and resign my vile body to the ground. Bury me and Romeo in the same coffin, okay?
Angelica: Yes, I too am that upset about the death of Tybalt. Tybalt Capulet: what a great guy. He was courteous and honest, Tybalt was. Yep, that was definitely Tybalt, the man who was murdered and whose body I was just describing!
Juliet: WHAT THE HELL?! I thought we were talking about Romeo!!
Angelica: No, Tybalt. Your dead cousin? Try to keep up, Juliet.
Juliet: YOU said 'he's dead' right after we finished talking about Romeo's sex ladder.
Angelica: 'He' meaning Tybalt'.
Juliet: When this is over we're going to talk about pronoun attachment ambiguity.
Angelica: Yes, I too am that upset about the death of Tybalt. Tybalt Capulet: what a great guy. He was courteous and honest, Tybalt was. Yep, that was definitely Tybalt, the man who was murdered and whose body I was just describing!
Juliet: WHAT THE HELL?! I thought we were talking about Romeo!!
Angelica: No, Tybalt. Your dead cousin? Try to keep up, Juliet.
Juliet: YOU said 'he's dead' right after we finished talking about Romeo's sex ladder.
Angelica: 'He' meaning Tybalt'.
Juliet: When this is over we're going to talk about pronoun attachment ambiguity.
"Nothing lasts forever" is a phrase with two meanings, and they're both true.
"This next round is based on Give Us A Clue, the entertainment show that really is something else."
— Humphrey Lyttleton, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue Series 36 Ep. 2
Luna Traffic Cop: Hey! You can't park that thing here!
DoytHaban: That's a curious thing to say. Are you threatening to levy some sort of fine, or are you questioning our piloting skills?
Luna Traffic Cop: I, uhh. Well...
DoytHaban: [sigh] Why don't you just write me a nice parking ticket while you ponder the nuances of grammar.
Luna Traffic Cop: Say, are those tanks?
DoytHaban: That's a curious thing to say. Are you threatening to levy some sort of fine, or are you questioning our piloting skills?
Luna Traffic Cop: I, uhh. Well...
DoytHaban: [sigh] Why don't you just write me a nice parking ticket while you ponder the nuances of grammar.
Luna Traffic Cop: Say, are those tanks?
Mac: You know, this place is about the size of our houses.
Mark: Really? You live in a house like this?
Mac: No, our houses. All three of them, put together.
— The Road to Ruin (Dortmunder book 11)
Cloud: In order to get my ultimate weapon, we need to kill the ultimate WEAPON, Ultimate WEAPON.
Barret: I thought "Ultimate Weapon" was the weapon Scarlett used?
Cloud: No, that was an ultimate weapon she made as an ultimatum.
Red XIII: So that would make this ultimate WEAPON THE ultimate weapon of pure ultimacy?
Cloud: Ultimately? Yes.
Tifa: WHY THE F*CK ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!
Barret: I thought "Ultimate Weapon" was the weapon Scarlett used?
Cloud: No, that was an ultimate weapon she made as an ultimatum.
Red XIII: So that would make this ultimate WEAPON THE ultimate weapon of pure ultimacy?
Cloud: Ultimately? Yes.
Tifa: WHY THE F*CK ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!
Your knowledge of Monstrous Anatomy has increased. Or your Anatomy has become more Monstrous. One of those.
— Message upon your Monstrous Anatomy quality increasing, Fallen London
(Casey has read Dana's calendar.)
Casey: "Saturday the 2nd, Aztec Two-Step at The Bottom Line with Gordon." "Sunday the 10th, Turandot with Gordon at Lincoln Center." And I'm assuming, although your modifier was dangling, that you're going with Gordon to see Turandot, you're not going to see Gordon in Turandot.
Casey: "Saturday the 2nd, Aztec Two-Step at The Bottom Line with Gordon." "Sunday the 10th, Turandot with Gordon at Lincoln Center." And I'm assuming, although your modifier was dangling, that you're going with Gordon to see Turandot, you're not going to see Gordon in Turandot.
—from Sports Night, ep. 1x04, "Intellectual Property"
Bilbo: Good Morning!
Gandalf: What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good on this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
Bilbo: All of them at once, and a very fine morning for a pipe of tobacco out of doors, into the bargain.
[later]
Bilbo: Good morning! We don't want any adventures here, thank you! You might try over The Hill or across The Water.
Gandalf: What a lot of things you do use Good morning for! Now you mean that you want to get rid of me, and that it won't be good till I move off.
Gandalf: What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good on this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
Bilbo: All of them at once, and a very fine morning for a pipe of tobacco out of doors, into the bargain.
[later]
Bilbo: Good morning! We don't want any adventures here, thank you! You might try over The Hill or across The Water.
Gandalf: What a lot of things you do use Good morning for! Now you mean that you want to get rid of me, and that it won't be good till I move off.
"Because of the allegations, the Soviet ambassador today sought political asylum in the Soviet Union-" (Beat) "Beg your pardon. That should read 'The Soviet ambassador today was sent to a political asylum in the Soviet Union'."
— ITN Newsreader, Carry On Emmannuelle
Blake: [Your dad] sent a dog?!
Weiss: In the mail?!
Yang: Oh, he does stuff like this all the time.
Blake: Your father, or your dog?
Weiss: In the mail?!
Yang: Oh, he does stuff like this all the time.
Blake: Your father, or your dog?
— RWBY
Lois: Oh, my God. You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true. I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk.
Peter: That's not true. I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk.
Mother: Jimmy, take out the dog.
Jimmy: (dons sunglasses) Yes, mother. (shoots dog dead)
Mother: ...For a walk, Jimmy.
Jimmy: (dons sunglasses) Yes, mother. (shoots dog dead)
Mother: ...For a walk, Jimmy.
— asdfmovie 9
Athena: Are you the Vampire of Fetishville?
V: I'm a vampire of Fetishville. V The Vampire Vigilante! And you are?
Athena: Athena The Vampire Hunter!
V: You're also a vampire? And a hunter?
Athena: Er...
V: I'm a vampire of Fetishville. V The Vampire Vigilante! And you are?
Athena: Athena The Vampire Hunter!
V: You're also a vampire? And a hunter?
Athena: Er...
Interviewer: How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?
Joey: Really, me? Wow, I don't even know any huge gay people.
Joey: Really, me? Wow, I don't even know any huge gay people.
Marinette: I'm fucking Ladybug, but you don't see me making a song and dance about it.
Alya: You're fucking Ladybug?!
Marinette: Fuck yeah, I am.
Kim: That why you're so tired this morning?
Marinette: It'd be fine if Hawkdick wasn't a bitch, but nooooo. In bed, it's all systems go, and then the fucker decides it's the perfect time to send out an akuma.
Lila: So, Ladybug's often in your bed, Marinette?
Marinette: Every night, if I'm lucky.
Alya: You're fucking Ladybug?!
Marinette: Fuck yeah, I am.
Kim: That why you're so tired this morning?
Marinette: It'd be fine if Hawkdick wasn't a bitch, but nooooo. In bed, it's all systems go, and then the fucker decides it's the perfect time to send out an akuma.
Lila: So, Ladybug's often in your bed, Marinette?
Marinette: Every night, if I'm lucky.
It was date night, and Constance Verity was wrestling an alligator woman in her underwear. How the alligator woman ended up wearing Connie's underwear was a mystery she never solved.
Not-Donna: It's the knees. How many knees?
Not-Doctor: Two.
Not-Donna: Two in total, or two on each leg?
Not-Doctor: Two.
Not-Donna: Two in total, or two on each leg?
[The magazines have] all got names like "SUPERIOR ABODE" and "SMUGLY MODERN" and "YURT FANCIER." You know what they mean by "yurt fancier" is “someone who fancies yurts,” but you can’t help feeling like they’re implying the yurt is fancier than you are. (It is; it’s made of cruelty-free faux beluga whaleskin and you, last time you checked, are not.)
On Sargasso, Trudi can only be mounted and dismounted from at specific perches in the area. Ratchet very briefly rode on the back of a wild Pterafoid Flyer whilst falling through multiple dimensional rifts early into Rift Apart but he never rides Trudi, only Rivet.
— The Ratchet & Clank wiki page for Trudi
