A long-running podcast ranking all of the Roman Emperors. Based on the format of Rex Factor.
Examples
- Aerith and Bob: Rob and Jamie tend to name bit players mundane names, such as Jeff or Cyril.
- Bolivian Army Ending: Rob and Jamie choose to believe the sources that report Constantine XI joining the fighting against the Turks in the guise of a common soldier, only to be never seen againnote , comparing it to the ending of Blackadder Goes Forth.
- Canis Latinicus: All of the categories are formulated by adding classic Latin prefixes to English words: Fightius Maximum, Approprium Crazium, Successus Ultimatus, etc.
- Catapult Nightmare: How Rob and Jamie portray Didius Julianus after successfully buying the empire: peacefully going to bed that night, only to wake up screaming when he realises what he's done.
- Chick Magnet/Even the Guys Want Him: How Rob and Jamie explain the seeming Disproportionate Retribution of Majorian getting kicked out of the army and exiled as a result of his potential engagement to the previous emperor's daughter falling through:Rob: Maybe Majorian's just incredibly good looking. Maybe he's like Prince Charming levels of good looking.Jamie: Slightly flowing blond hair... Blue eyes...Rob: Square chin. People have to shade their eyes when he smiles. The only way Placidianote isn't going to want to marry him, thinks Atius, gotta get him out of the way.Jamie: His beautiful baritone voice... Glistening chest... Phwoar, Majorian. I'm liking this episode.
- After this, Majorian's sheer sexual appeal becomes a Running Gag throughout the rest of the episode, as well as every time he comes up subsequently.
- Companion Cube: A Running Gag is that the Emperor Claudius had a pet rock, which he kept with him on a leash at all times.
- Epic Fail: The entire tenure of Didius Julianus. Julianus purchased the Imperial title from the Praetorian Guard, who had just murdered his predecessor, and spent his short reign panicking as the general Septimius Severus marched on the capital to take it off his hands. Several zany schemes (including, but not limited to attempting to train circus elephants to fight and hiring magicians to curse Severus) utterly failed, and Julianus was killed only two months into his reign. Even the staid Dio breaks the fourth wall in the source material to note that the senators were all laughing at him.
- Eye Scream: All the time when covering the Byzantine emperors, many of whom were blinded alongside being deposed and/or killed.
- Heh Heh, You Said "X": Any name ending "anus," will earn a few jokes, but most notoriously Pupienus. See also Real Joke Name; the hosts cannot say the name without giggling at it.Rob: We are twelve.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Emperor Otho, who, after releasing he cannot win the civil war, commits suicide rather than drag it out any longer. Noticeably despite not doing especially well in the points department, this self-sacrifice is enough to win him Je Ne Caesar.
- Large and in Charge: Maximinius Thrax, who according to the sources was a giant of a man who used his brute strength to become emperor.
Also, he once punched a horse. - Overly Long Name: Tarasis Kodisa Rousombladadiotes.Jamie: You've been practicing that all week, haven't you?
- Psychopathic Manchild: Nero fails to get the ranking of Je Ne Caesar, as the hosts decide that he was merely this, and overrated as a villain.
- Real Joke Name: Pupienus, pronounced "poopy anus." Neither host can say it with a straight face, even in the episode introduction.
- Running Gag: Many, but most notably Jeff, the hapless soldier and occasional rank-and-file senator.
- The Cloud Cuckoo Lander Was Right: Any time Rob says "We'll get to that" in response to an offhanded quip, which is surprisingly often, means Jamie has inadvertently predicted exactly what's going to happen at some point in the episode.
- Unusual Euphemism:
- "Advantage," which from the Baccus Groundus episode starts being used as a euphemism for a Gag Penis. Occasionally causes confusion when they need to use the word "advantage" in a non-euphemistic sense.
- Also "getting to know", for sex.
- In Season 2, "playing Scrabble."
