Almost Perfect Crimes is a 1995 book of mystery short stories (or "mini-mysteries" as the book calls them) written by Hy Conrad. Each mystery consists of a body of text two pages long, an accompanying illustration by Lucy Corvino, and several categories appendices of "evidence" in the back pages, to represent the fruits of an investigation. The categories include affidavits (witness testimony), autopsy reports, crime scene reports, lab and hospital reports, miscellaneous examinations, searches, and research. These, taken together with the body of the text, provide the clues needed to solve each mystery. These is also an "analysis of evidence" section to compile the various appendices and thus provide "hints" to the reader to help solve the mystery. The author discourages this, outright stating that "good sleuths" should not need this section to solve the mysteries. Finally, the actual solutions, as in most mystery anthologies, are found in the section at the very end, ahead of the index.
This book provides examples of:
- Accidental Murder: A few of the homicides were not premeditated, usually as the result of a fight between the killer and the victim which abruptly ended in death. This includes "The Flighty Freshman" and "The Show Girl Murders".
- Always Murder: Neither the title of the book nor the blurb at the back provide any hint that every single story is a murder investigation. Multiple murders are set up to look like suicides, and one of the cases is about a suicide that is intended to look like a murder.
- Clock Discrepancy: In the aptly-named "Daylight Saving Crime", the main suspect in a murder case is being observed around the clock by police, but when a rookie forgets about daylight saving time and leaves his shift an hour early, the suspect isn't being monitored by anyone during that entire hour. This proves to be a clue in the murder, when the victim's watch — still on the wrist of his dead body — is set at the correct time, proving that he was murdered after the clocks went back.
- Dead Person Impersonation:
- Critical to the mystery of "The Bearded Lady", where someone who died a long time ago is impersonated by a still-living relative.
- In "Last of the Royal Blood", the murderer turns out to be an imposter, who has further murdered the person whose identity was stolen.
- Disguised in Drag: The killer in "The Bearded Lady" is a man disguised as a woman. Apart from his frequent need to shave his facial hair and hide the disposable razors he is using, he appears to fool everyone (all of whom have plenty of reason to be suspicious), suggesting that he's got a major case of Dude Looks Like a Lady even without the disguise (although he is noted as being "big-boned"). He is caught only because he gets food poisoning and a nearby doctor is summoned to examine him and discovers his secret. There's a clue for sharp-eyed readers in the story itself, when the choker he is wearing bobs up and down as he is gasping for air — because of his Adam's apple.
- Frame-Up: Several of the cases feature the real killer attempting to frame someone else, with varying levels of success:
- In "Checking Out", the murderer plants a pearl tie tack and wedding ring on the victim to implicate his wife, Pearl. Only problem is that Pearl isn't his wife; both are married to other people and have been carrying on a long-term, intermittent affair with each other.
- The murderer in "The Flighty Freshman" frames the titular Perry Winkler for the murder of Donovan Myers. Perry Winkler doesn't exist, he is a false identity assumed by the two Myers brothers, and it was the other brother, Danny, who killed Donovan.
- One of the three titular Prep brothers in "Manny, Moe, or Jack" frames one of the other two for the murder of their father, Adolph.
- The real killer in "The Phantom Intruder" tried to frame Paul Esterbrook for the murder of Chef Teddy Gouda, but Esterbrook was stopped by a traffic cop on the way to the crime scene, and didn't arrive until police were already on the scene.
- The murderer in "Shot in the Cul-de-Sac" attempted to frame Marlene Smucker for the murder of her husband Ed.
- In "Daylight Saving Crime", the real murderer attempted to frame Phil Okan for the murder of his brother Richie.
- Inheritance Murder: One of the three brothers in "Manny, Moe, or Jack" kills his father Adolph Prep immediately after he (unwisely) announces that he is changing his will to disinherit them. As Adolph has not yet actually changed his will, he would have inherited his original share of the estate had he not been caught. The murder in "The Bearded Lady" happens because the victim is blackmailing someone impersonating an heiress, and said "heiress" kills him to avoid the ruse being discovered.
- Murder Is the Best Solution: Several of the killers, usually to cover up a relatively minor crime. Killing the blackmailer happens twice (in "The Bearded Lady" and "Psychic Suicide"), as does killing to beat a rap for embezzlement (in "How the Other Half Dies" and "Swallowing the Gun"). There's also killing to beat a burglary charge (in "Checking Out"). Probably the pettiest example is killing to protect an alibi (in "The Show Girl Murders"), although to be fair in that case the killer was already on the hook for one homicide.
- Never Suicide: Played straight in several cases, particularly (as the name implies) "Swallowing the Gun" and "Psychic Suicide", where apparent suicides turn out to be murders. Inverted in "The Phantom Intruder", where the victim killed himself and attempted to frame someone else for his own murder. Technically one of the deaths in "Video Violence" is (accidental) suicide as well.
- Murder in the Family: Several of the murders involve one family member killing another:
- Self-Made Orphan: The plot of "Manny, Moe, or Jack". One of the three brothers is accused of killing his father — the question is, which one? The middle brother, Moe.
- Sibling Murder: Phil Okan is accused of killing his brother Richie in "Daylight Saving Crime". This actually happens in "The Flighty Freshman" and "How the Other Half Dies".
- Til Murder Do Us Part: The evidence in "Shot in the Cul-de-Sac" seems to point to this, and the widow is also a suspect in "The Phantom Intruder". The murderer attempted to frame the victim's "wife" in "Checking Out" before said "wife" revealed she was actually his mistress. This actually happens in "Video Violence".
- No Celebrities Were Harmed:
- The "Video Violence" case is about a tabloid talk show host named Renaldo Jones, who is usually only known as "Renaldo".
- "Last of the Royal Blood" tells the story of the last Shah of Ibabi.
- Sympathetic Murderer: Mostly averted — almost all of the murderers are motivated by greed, a few by petty romantic jealousy. There are a few exceptions:
- In "The Flighty Freshman", a drunken fight over a girl led to the accidental death of one of the combatants. Even worse, the killer was his brother, and every indication is that the two were quite close. Now Danny Myers, who had his whole life ahead of him, has to spend the prime of his life in jail, and the rest of his life without his brother. He does lose some points for attempting to "frame" Perry instead of turning himself in.
- "The Phantom Intruder" takes the cake here, as the killer was dying of a brain tumor while his wife was cheating on him with his business partner. Even the author admits some sympathy for him.
