Gramps: It was pandemonium! *Newspaper with the words "Pandemonium" is shown* The aliens were everywhere! *Newspaper says "Aliens Everywhere!"* No one knew what to do!! *Newspaper says "What To Do?!* I MARRIED BIGFOOT!! *Newspaper says "Bigfoot: Love At Last!"*
Gramps claims that the President personally asked for his help, and for some reason, in the story the President is a gorgeous woman, which is Lampshaded by his granddaughter.
Girl: Hello, we've never had a female president! *the President morphs into a Richard Nixon-lookalike, much to Gramp's horror* (Extra funny if you remember that the actual President during the U.S Dust Bowl, which Gramps said his story took place in, was Franklin Roosevelt, who didn't look anything like Nixon).
He literally begs his grandkids to let him keep this detail.
When Steve discovers that Larry is the only person at the pound who can understand him.
Larry: Hey, a dog that speaks English!
Steve: What?
Larry: You know, I once had a Jack Russel terrier that spoke Dutch, but I couldn't understand a word he was saying—
Steve: *grabs Larry by the shirt* If you don't get me out of here, I will be put to sleep, do you understand me?! You will be indirectly responsible for the resulting euthanasia!
The Swedish dub of the joke is pretty good too. Larry's response is changed to "I once had an aunt with that name!"
The Running Gag with the Quality Apartments and Quality Mall signs, where the Q falls off and crushes a pedestrian.
At the mall, Larry puts an 800 watt bulb in a table lamp, which turns it into a BFS. For comparison, real life bulbs are usually 20-40 watts.
Made even better when he swings the lamp around as a functional lightsaber and decimates the mall.
Larry: Luke, this is your landlord! Ya still haven't returned my weed whacker!
After Larry's car is bisected laterally by a literal fork in the road, Steve's side flies out of control down the road and through the house of an old couple playing Scrabble.
(Smash Cut of Steve's side of the car crashing through chicken coops)
After smashing through the chicken coops (and picking up an unexpected passenger) Steve sees that they are barreling straight towards an enormous inconveniently-placed pile of TNT. He promptly screams, only to stop himself and say, "Waait a minute, isn't that a bit contrived?"
After barely escaping the explosion, Steve (as well as the chicken he picked up) land in a parking lot... where Larry also winds up, reconnecting his half of the car with Steve's, not even noticing they were gone at all, as he's still reading the newspaper.
Steve's encounter with the massage bed. At first it is working as intended, giving Steve just a normal massage, then Larry accidentally kicks it into high gear. At which point the bed grabs Steve, beats the unholy blue hell out of him, grows legs, slams the poor dog into a wall, then leaves him there.
Quality Mall's spokesman - Mickey, the Xenophobic Scotsman!
Mickey: Ach, people!! *runs away and jumps through a window to escape*