Funny / The Incredible Hercules

• Two from Ares: "NO! Blows from an unseen assailant have felled Wonder Man!" and "I am sorry, teammate Wonder Man! I cannot hear you over returning fire!"
• While at Avengers Academy, Hercules tries to get the students to reenact the first Olympics with him. In full original Olympic dress.◊
  Hercules: Burn the sight before you into thy memory fore'er!
  Hazmat: Already done.
• Herc's thumbs up to Amadeus, as immortalised in the "Cool Story, Bro" meme. In context, that's the thumb of: "I came here to rescue you but you seem to be getting cozy with your evil captor^note This is Hercules, he's quite familiar with such situations. Stick with it, bro, I'll be back later." Hercules may not be particularly articulate, but he can still get his meaning across.
• Herc's flashback to seventies era Ares in The Incredible Hercules #114. "Hot DAMN, I'm evil!"
• "I feel a draft."
• Thor vs. Hercules? Amusing, but been done. While dressed as each other for complicated plot reasons? Hilarious. And resorting to playground attacks like purple nurples, groin attacks, and wedgies? PRICELESS.
  • Not to mention Hercules throwing the fight, and then using the deception to boost his own legend (and ego).
  • Every usage of an Unsound Effect is hilarious, but that battle was particularly rife with them, such as GODDATHUNDAA and SUKKAPUNCH!
  • That entire arc was brilliant! We have:
    • Hercules is disguised as Thor, and has to sneak into the Kingdom of the Dark Elves and prove himself worthy. He comes across a complicated chess set, for which he has to win to prove that he has wits. Hercules' response? Knock it over.
    Hercules: For the only way to win at an unwinnable game is to change the rules!
    Elf Queen: Brilliant!
    Queen's Advisor: But... that wasn't unwinnable... all he had to do was—
    • "No one else has mastered the Elven Tickler so fast."
• Delphyne Gorgon's Lock-and-Load Montage, especially at the end:

  EXPRESSION! WORTHY! OF DEATH SCRUNCHIE!

• Herc's numerous paramours recounting their "time" with him to his friends. The various facial expressions alone are hilarious.
  Alflyse: Let me tell you of the Elven Tickler, and his mastery thereof.
  Twenty eight graphic minutes later...
  Namor: :o
  Thor: :)
• Thor and Amadeus Cho, attempting to rescue Hercules from another dimension, end up fighting the Egyptian goddess Sekhmet. Cho draws on a knowledge of Egyptian mythology to intoxicate her and turn her into an aspect of Hathor (yes, Hathor), a goddess of love. And lolcats. Really.
  Amadeus: How the heck do you know what a roofie is in the first place?
  Thor: I saw it on the YouTube.
• From Herc #2: WHO'S THY DADDY NOW?!!!
• In The Mighty Thor-cules arc, Herc asks Balder (actually Malekith in disguise) why Thor is currently exiled from Asgard, and is told it's because Thor killed his grandfather. Herc finds this doubly hilarious, since killing your dad is kind of a thing in his family (Zeus killed his father Cronus, who had killed his own father Uranos), yet he himself managed to not only buck tradition and not kill Zeus but get his father reincarnated - as a Bratty Half-Pint.
  Zeus: Hardey-har.
• As much as Hercules cares for his wife Hebe, “do you know that woman keeps beany babies?”
• Hercules throws out this gem in a fight: “And another thing! Why do you persist in talking in old-timey Shakespeare talk?! We're from Greece! From two thousand years before Shakespeare! It makes absolutely... NO! SENSE!”
• Hercules hates Clash of the Titans.
• In a Quasar plotline, the being known as Her is seeking the most powerful specimens of humanity to mate with for what she believes is her purpose of conceiving genetically superior offspring. Most of the heroes she approaches are confused and awkward with her blunt declaration of her intentions. Then she gets to Hercules.
  Her: You have the right attributes to become one of my mates.
  Hercules: You say you wish to what?
  Her: Mate with you.
  Hercules: Thou hast talked me into it.
  • When it turns out that Her's method of procreation entails attaching strange pods onto her mates' backs, Herc quickly develops a one-track mind regarding his determined solution to the problem - just punch them off! - and gets annoyed when his fellow victims express doubts about this plan and refuse to "smite" him as he wishes.
    Hercules: Bah! Were the mighty Thor here, he'd smite me most readily!
  • Eventually, he does get someone (Gilgamesh) to test out his proposed fix:
    Captain America: We'd better go check on Hercules.
    Doc Samson: Yeah, he's liable to do something rash.
    (cut to Hercules, having just been punched in the back by Gilgamesh, flying through the air with the biggest, happiest grin on his face)
    Hercules: HUZZAH!!! I have been SMITTEN!!!