- To drive away a French chick Red was having sex with, Blue uses a French phrase book to say something to drive her away. What does he choose to say? "He has a lot of penis crabs." It actually works.
- Blue in his room, panting and moaning Olivia Munn's name as his hands move rapidly just below the camera. But then it pans down...Blue: There! Done with this hand-crocheted towel of Olivia Munn! (deadpan) Time to jack off.
- This exchange from Blue to Red:Blue: I'M a loser?! I once caught you masturbating to Animal Planet!Red: That was ONE TIME! You're just racist against elephants!
- Red actually does something nice for Blue at the end of the movie, saying it's for his friend. How does he respond?Blue: (utterly deadpan) "I must be dead."
- When it it revealed that Lord Takagami is the Raccoon's father , The Raccoon immediately has a flashback from his childhood.Father-San/Lord Takagami: If you ever want to fight evil, you MUST keep your elbows straight!Raccoon: Father! One day, I want to go to America!Father-San/Lord Takagami: That is NOT a country yet!
- The Big Bad of the movie, Lord Takagami, supplies some hilarious lines:Lord Takagami: We are the Takagami Demon Army. Our blades burn like fire, and our fire stings like ice, and our ice is REALLY FUCKING COLD.
- After it is revealed that Lord Takagami is Father-San, the Raccoon's father.Raccoon: YOU are Lord Takagami?Lord Takagami/ Father-San: Did you ever wonder why we have the same last name?Raccoon: ...IMPOSSIBRUUUUUUUU!!!
- The Raccoon's family all have the same voice as him. That alone is worth a few laughs.
- "Seize their souls! From our point of view, THEY are the villains! Not us! It is ONLY rational from our side of the story!"
- Blue's reaction to Japan, after experiencing it's weirdness.Blue: (deadpan) I'm gonna die here.
- The third piece of the Great Sword of Destiny is located inside a mountain. When attempting to find said mountain, Red just looks for it under his foot.
- Red trying to disguise himself as a crab.
- It actually works. Unfortunately, this leads to his hands getting gnawed on by two people.
- The fact that Red is scared less of demons than of cops. Red exclaims that it's because demons don't have guns.
- When Red and Blue first enter the Raccoon's store to look for a gift for Pink.Red: [gasps, picks up a bear trap] You should get her this cool hat!Blue: Yeah, try it on.[...]Red: [CRUNCH!] Fits perfect!Raccoon: Did you touch that fucking bear trap?!Red: ...No. Idiot.
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