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Despite the rampant
Nightmare Fuel and grim settings,
Zombies has more than a few laughs to be found.
Series-Wide
- In general, a lot of the Pack-a-Punch weapon names tend to be this if they're not already Crossing the Line Twice or are Refuge in Audacity... or both.
- For example, the 1911 in World at War gets renamed to... C-3000 b1at-ch35. Yeah, wrap your head around that one.
- Then you have the humble AK-74 in Black Ops, Black Ops II, and Black Ops: Cold War. What clever name might Treyarch pick for this weapon, you ask? Easy - the AK-74fu2. Or AK-74NOFU in Cold War. No, really.
- FN FAL? Nah, more like EPC WN. Or just the WN in Black Ops II, anyway.note FN FAL sounds quite a bit like "Fuckin' Fail" whereas EPC WN is supposed to be "Epic Win". Now do you get it?
- There's also an abundance of Fun with Acronyms for weapon names in general, too. MP5? Mystic Pony Express. MTAR? Malevolent Toxonomic Anodized Redeemer. DSR-50? Dead Specimen Reactor 500. HVK-30? High Velocity Kicker. So on, so forth.
- And then some guns have some clever in-jokes or puns to them. The MAC-10 in Cold War, for example, is called the "Royale With Lead"... anyone who's ever watched Pulp Fiction will get the reference almost immediately.Explanation It's a play on "Royale With Cheese", which Vincent discusses with Jules in the beginning of the movie. Vincent meets his end later when Butch guns him down with a MAC-10. Then there's the Gallo 12 (the SPAS-12 from previous games, really), which becomes the H-ngm-n when pack-a-punched.Explanation It's "Hangman" with spaces in the name in reference to the game, in case you're wondering.
- The "Breccius Rebornus" (pack-a-punched SG-12) in Black Ops 4... how clever, Treyarch.
- Pretty much all the editions from Shi No Numa onward have been running on Denser and Wackier, with the characters spouting off hilarious one-liners after running low on ammo, getting downed, and killing in any conceivable fashion (and increasingly started Breaking the Fourth Wall as well). And, from around Ascension on, even Straight Man Takeo has become the Comically Serious.
- Nobody likes rebuilding barricades (justified due to how pointless it becomes very quickly.) They'll almost always have good lines for it, especially in Black Ops 4.
Ultimis!Dempsey: Everything trying to kill us, death around every corner, and I'm here practicing CARPENTRY?!
Ultimis!Dempsey: If I'm nailing anything, I should be nailing meatsacks... with bullets! Come on, get your mind out of the gutter!
Ultimis!Dempsey: Shouldn't, like, Takeo be doing this? Or is he too busy moping?
Ultimis!Takeo: This is a task for peasants... where is Nikolai?
Ultimis!Takeo: *"whistling* ...What? Richtofen does it to pass the time, why can't Takeo?
Ultimis!Nikolai: It is okay, everyone. Nikolai will fix wall. All by self. Just like always.
Ultimis!Nikolai: Payment for boarding walls too low! Nikolai should start union.
Ultimis!Richtofen: Hello, zombies? It's nearly ready for you to tear down!
Primis!Richtofen: Hello again, futility, I'm Edward! Remember me? We aren't friends.
Primis!Richtofen: There we are! Sturdy as a moist towelette.
Primis!Richtofen: Damn planks! Splinters! Blasted menial labor!
Primis!Nikolai: This is best wood, it is Russian wood. Best wood. Definitely.
- The reactions that most of the characters have to the Hellhound rounds are also pretty funny, too.
Ultimis!Takeo: I fear no dog!
Ultimis!Nikolai: They're trying to fetch our souls again!
Primis!Dempsey: Your bark was worse than your bite, mutt!
- A few, triggered by the characters automatic in-game responses:
Nikolai: (gunning down zombies) NO! GET AWAY! IT'S MY VODKA! MINE!
- When Richtofen is downed in Kino:
- This gem from Kino when Dempsey is low on ammo:
Dempsey:
HEY! PLAYER! DROP THE CHIPS AND GET ME SOME AMMO!!! - Half of the things JFK says
. (when trying to buy something that he doesn't have enough points for) "BUT I WANT IT!"
- Richtofen's reaction to being surrounded by a horde of zombies in Ascension:
Richtofen: I see one, two, thr-
oh, shit.
- A meta example, but the very idea that George Romero, the same man who helped invent the modern zombie genre is now a zombie director trying to kill the main characters in Call of the Dead, is very funny in and of itself.
- During the egg of Call of the Dead, Richtofen is looking for a lever while trapped in the dark, unlit room. Dempsey... doesn't appreciate what he grabs.
- Takeo begins embracing the silliness of everything and gets one-liners like this:
- Nikolai's Cluster F-Bomb whenever he uses the mining carts in Shangri-La. Makes you wonder if they finally sobered him up considering how he sounds like he's about ten seconds away from shitting himself.
- This. Just... just this. Even better since they got the voice actors!
- During a Nuke in Moon:
Dempsey: Gotta love that that doesn't affect us-WAIT, is my hair falling out?!?
- The Tombstone Soda jingle is already hilarious on its own... and then you have this dank remix as the cherry on top!
- Russman sings a little ditty in TranZit:
Russman: Run down, turn around, kill a herd of zombies!
- T.E.D.D. in TranZit. Just... T.E.D.D.
(when the player shoots at him or knives him) Keep fucking with me. See if I don't crash this bus and kill you all.
(when shot at by the player) Stand behind the yellow lines, or you'll be sorry asshole!
(trying to get in the bus) Door privileges have been fucking revoked!
- How does Marlton react when the bus gets overrun by Zombies?
- Let this be a reminder that this is the voice of none other than Robin, by the way.
- After you've spent a tedious amount of time building the Jet Gun, the pick-up text would read, "Aww yeah! Press <action button> to take the Jet Gun!" This would later be changed simply to the usual "Press <action button> for the Jet Gun" after word of mouth spread about just how awful the Jet Gun really is.
- Misty is in love with Marlton and makes numerous flirty comments towards him. One quote from Marlton suggests that she's making some very forward advances on him. One might say the lack of options in the apocalypse (especially given Russman is later revealed to be something akin to a father figure to her and Samuel is a misogynist prick) has made Misty very eager to act on her, ahem, needs. And since Marlton doesn't like to be touched, he doesn't take it too well, ignorant of how a beautiful woman is eager to have him for herself.
- In the Mob of the Dead intro, the inmates are clearly putting on their best shows to buddy up with prison guard Stanley Ferguson. Sal asks about Ferguson's family, and Ferguson happily says that his son is almost six. Sal says very awkwardly, "well ain't that swell?", clearly not giving that much of a shit. And hell, Billy doesn't even try to play nice, he just keeps quiet (if you can't say anything nice...).
- And then when Stanley gets zombified after he's killed, Billy simply reacts by shooting him in the chest, which Stanley no-sells, causing the zombified Stanley to look at Billy and the other mobsters as if to say, "What the hell?!" Billy's reaction is comedy gold at its finest.
Billy: What the fuck?
- Seems like Dempsey isn't the only one who has a habit of Breaking the Fourth Wall...
Misty: (if her current weapon is empty while she has another one available) Hey, player! Switch weapons!
- Maxis and Richtofen are both on their best behavior during Buried as they try to get you to complete their sidequests. Maxis ever so politely insists that he does not wish to be unsympathetic to Victis' plight, but you really need to get to work. Richtofen, meanwhile, quickly grows upset with Samuel when he doesn't listen to his instructions, and even tries sweet-talking him like a puppy.
- In The Giant's intro, Ultimis!Richtofen takes off his hat and smiles when he sees what appears in the teleporter, seemingly ecstatic to meet himself, only for Primis!Richtofen to shoot him in the head without saying anything. It's so unexpected it might cause a few chuckles.
Primis!Dempsey: Dammit Richtofen, I thought we were done with this!
- Ultimis!Nikolai piloting the Manticore mech from the Campaign while hammered as shit (this is Ultimis!Nikolai, after all) and with "Ace of Spades" playing in the background during Gorod Krovi's introductory cutscene is equal parts hilarious and awesome.
- Many of Monty's ramblings can provide levity during Revelations, due to the fact that despite being an omnipotent being, Monty is forced to make it up as he goes along; Malcolm McDowell succeeds in portraying the general sort of stumbling you'd do when trying to think of things during a chaotic crisis.
Monty: If I were to give you an analogy, I'd describe it like this: when a duck swims on the lake, you only see it glide, apparently effortlessly. But underneath, as in beneath the surface? It's a whole other story. Its' legs are moving like he's pedaling a fucking bicycle up a mountain! Well, that's me right now! I am that duck!
- Nikolai grumbles during Fire Sales in Revelations that his reward will probably be a crappy pistol or a sniper rifle.
- These priceless gems when Richtofen is unlucky enough to get a sniper rifle from the Mystery Box in Gorod Krovi:
Primis!Richtofen: Oh, you can just
fuck off, box.
Primis!Richtofen: WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
- The first even gets a callback in Revelations:
Primis!Richtofen: Oh, you can just
FUDGE OFF, box! ...I'm sorry I swore at you before. I didn't mean it.
- Dr. Monty trying his hand at singing the jingles of the original four perks (Double Tap, Juggernog, Quick Revive, and Speed Cola). It has to be seen (or in this case, heard) to be believed. Out of the main four, the only one he manages to get right is the one for Speed Cola! Hilariously, he doesn't even bother to try Double Tap's jingle!
- The aptly named Whimsical Gobblegums range from making zombies that die from explosions projectile vomit to inverting gravity for the many zombie corpses you'll rack up to coloring them solid colors to having Wacky Sound Effects play when they die. It more than makes up for their general uselessness, especially since Gobblegums are free to purchase at the beginning of every round.
- Speaking of the GobbleGums, not one member of Primis is fond of their taste. Primis!Dempsey comments in both The Giant and Der Eisendrache that they taste like ass.
- A few of Primis!Nikolai's quotes in Revelations are call-backs to The Giant. Like these ones:
Primis!Nikolai: This is best wood, it is space wood! Best wood! Definitely. I think.
Primis!Nikolai: Did you hear about angry Russian with SMG? Yes, you have! I tell before.
- The running gag of Shaw trying to hide most of his equipment in his skirt (read: his crotch) in IX. Gets especially egregious when he tries to figure out how to hide a fucking missile launcher of all things in it. Guess he likes to pack a punch?
- Shaw lampshades the presence of an Irish goddess in a Roman arena:
Shaw: That looks like the Goddess Tree. How the bloody hell did a piece of Irish folklore end up in a Roman Arena?! ...Silly me, I'm on drugs! Look, there's a walrus wearing a top hat! Hello... you jaunty little devil...
- Richtofen will have some choice words towards himself if you Pack-a-Punch in Blood of the Dead:
Primis!Richtofen: Ja, let's build your lab under Alcatraz! It's just a twisted little pocket dimension,
what could go wrong? Fucking Illuminati.
- In Blood of the Dead, Takeo praises Dempsey for being a devoted soldier in his usual, poetic way. Dempsey responds, "I love you too, Tak, but can you please not poke me in the feelings right now?"
- In Blood, Richtofen lampshades how the characters now have a conversation when reviving each other, and says the commentary from whoever is reviving him is unnecessary.
- Richtofen's lab hidden in Alcatraz has his walnut teleporter prototype. Mess with it a few times in Blood of the Dead and it will break, causing some disappointment by the members of Primis, except Dempsey, who goes whoops, and whistles.
- Nikolai singing, well, "Singin' in the Rain" in Blood... it has to be seen to be believed.
- The intro cutscene for Classified shows the player exactly why kind of map they're in for. Stylised as 60's style coloured backdrops and spy music, it is revealed how Ultimis ended up in the Pentagon instead of Groom Lake; someone overloaded the teleporter with Element 115 energy, screwing with it and sending the four back in time...after Dempsey fired a Wonder Weapon inside a teleporter. Again. All Richtofen can do is faceplam in irritation, to which Dempsey gives a hearty shrug.
- The cutscene also shows the four exploring the Pentagon, opening and closing doors and shutters like it's a Scooby-Doo episode - and the first thing Nikolai does is find some presidental booze and chug it. Yep, this is Ultimis, alright.
- There are a number of jumpscares across some of the maps after Mob of the Dead, and some of them are very creepy. The one in Classified? Less so; It's Last-Gen Richtofen, the infamously poorly rendered Richtofen from the Xbox 360 and PS3 versions of Shadows of Evil, which quickly became a meme due to just how off he looks. A decent parody of the other jumpscares, all considered.
- Kevin Sherwood himself also acknowledges the Last-Gen Richtofen meme by putting him on the thumbnail for Classified's Easter egg song, "Shockwave".
- FETCH ME THEIR SOULS!!!
- Madame Mirela naturally has no idea how to use a sniper rifle, leading to this gem when she pulls one out of the Mystery Box.
Madame Mirela: Hear me, o stinkers! Walk slow and keep your distance till I figure out how to use this thing...!
- Alpha Omega has both Ultimis and Primis as playable characters and they mix and match. The end result can have Primis Nikolai and Takeo be forced to play the role of babysitter to Ultimis Dempsey and Richtofen for example.
- Ultimus!Dempsey talking to Primis!Richtofen for the first time in Alpha Omega.
Ultimus!Dempsey: Hey Treyarch, this guy's bugging me. How do I kick him from the game?
Primis!Richtofen: Whoever you think you're talking to Dempsey, I... don't think they're listening.
Ultimus!Dempsey: Frankly doc, I'd rather scream into the void than talk to you for another second.
Primis!Richtofen: I hate you Dempsey, I hope you'll know that.
- While the Operators of Cold War aren't nearly as charming or have as much personality as Primis, Ultimis, Victis, or any of the other playable characters, some of them still have a few good zingers here and there. With the saving grace being that we can now play as Frank Woods in Zombies. Sam (now an adult) is also fully playable as of Firebase Z/Season 2, too. And she gets in a few good lines herself.
Woods: (after killing an entire horde of zombies in quick succession) Get the fuck outta here!
Maxis: (picking up a new weapon) Never look a gift horse in the mouth... or the ass.
Stone: (picking up the Ray Gun) Damn right I'll take a Ray Gun!
Garcia: (picking up the D.I.E. Shockwave or any other Wonder Weapon) Yankee ingenuity made this? ...
Okay, okay. - The very fact that we can play as John Rambo and John McClane in Zombies as part of the 80's Action Heroes event. Granted, most of their voice lines are actually archive audio from their respective movies, but that really should go without saying.
- Speaking of Sam, while this also leans somewhat into Nightmare Fuel, seeing her burst into a sudden fit of laughter after she kills several zombies in quick succession out of the blue can be somewhat amusing.
- After unlocking the Pack-a-Punch machine in Die Maschine, if you look around the Particle Accelerator Room, you'll find wisps of light that you can shoot at. Shooting all five in the room will teleport you into the Dark Aether and, well... see for yourself.
- Peck's reaction to the truth serum in Firebase Z is, well... unexpected. Which is all the more hilarious for a Smug Snake Insufferable Genius like Peck.
- The otherwise serious and tense Easter egg cutscene at the end of Firebase Z can be made hilarious (intentionally or otherwise) either by having four of the same Operators rescuing her or four Sams (assuming everyone in the lobby bought her Reactive Bundle and are all playing as her at the same time) trying to rescue a fifth! The same goes for the first Main Quest added in Outbreak (pictured above), too!
- The "Crank Box" emote introduced in Season 4. Whether or not it's a Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) reference, one can't deny the sheer hilarity of being able to casually flip off the zombies as you're gunning them down!
- Since the maps in Outbreak are large enough to accommodate vehicles, this means that you can run Zombies over like nobody's business! Some of the quips that your Operators have to say are but icing on the cake.
Maxis: Oh don't worry, I'm insured.
Wraith: Vroom, vroom, motherfucker.
- With Cold War introducing mixtapes via the Battle Pass (some of which can be played on foot via the Music Player - such as those from the previous Black Ops titles like "Adrenaline" or "Damned 3") on top of the vehicles mentioned above in Outbreak, feel free to know that you can invoke Soundtrack Dissonance up the ass as you mindlessly run Zombies over while Africa or Wild Side plays in the background.
- The very mental image of Samantha Maxis herself casually driving while listening to Toto is bound to elicit some chuckles, too.
- Fishing... in a Call of Duty: Zombies game. While it's little more than a distraction that'll net you anything from spare Scraps to a fucking Ray Gun, you can't deny that the image of seeing your favorite operator take a break from mowing down hordes of the undead to snag a bite is hilarious. Doubly so if you're playing as Sam!
- Klaus' blueprint as part of promotional material for Mauer der Toten. Some of the stuff written in the blueprints has to be seen to be believed -
Outstanding Issues: Highly irritable. Still lashes out violently if provoked - or when feeling self-conscious.
Prone to mood swings, resulting in increase of unsolicited opinions and complaints when bored.
Sometimes Klaus' train-of-thought verges on existential crisis. Advice: don't let Klaus be alone in his thoughts for too long!
DO NOT HUG, HANDSHAKE OR HIGH-FIVE. KLAUS HAS NO CONCEPT OF HUMAN FRAGILITY.
- Pretty much most of the voicelines from Omega Group during Mauer der Toten, given the circumstances.
- Kravchenko's passive-aggressiveness whenever he notifies you that Exfil is ready. Choosing not to opt for it results in him praising you or at the very least satisfied that you didn't leave the fight.
Kravchenko: Exfil available. For shame..
* Some players have reported mishearing it as "Pussy.." - Despite getting the Weaver treatment in the last map, Peck is still as much of a Smug Bastard as always, only this time he's a downright hilarious smug bastard.
- And apparently, he knew something about the villain of the story... and said nothing all last year. Kravchenko response is very clear exasperation at the fact that Mauer Der Toten was firmly a case of "Could Have Avoided This!" Plot.
- The train in the Subway portion of the map - while otherwise terrifying - is made hilarious by Kravchenko's snarky remark afterward, especially if you get hit by it:
- The entire concept of playing as the likes of Woods, Mason or Weaver under Kravchenko is hilarious in itself.
- While we got the very energetic rock anthem that is "Alone" for Die Maschine, and the slow and melancholic "Lost" for Firebase, what is the Easter egg song for Mauer der Toten? "Amoeba" by The Adolescents. Considering the otherwise bleak and ravaged state of the titular wall, one can't help but chuckle at the sudden Mood Whiplash, especially as this song plays during the Easter egg's climax!
- One of the bits of Intel that you can find is a very nice and morbidly hilarious Call-Back to the campaign of the first Black Ops:
The Director: Wake up. WAKE UP!!
Maxis: Where am I? Where's Notso?
The Director: You will answer our questions. Do you understand?
Maxis: Who the hell are you?
The Director: That's not important. What's important is who you are. What's your name?
The Director: Where were you born?
Maxis: Kiss my ass!
(The Director electrocutes Sam in response.)
- The fact that Notso not only replaces Reznov implying that Sam's dog means as much to her as Reznov did to Mason, but the name "Notso" is an In-Universe Ascended Meme as her reaction to the dog at first was to call it "not so fluffy" (it's a rottweiler and her dog from the original universe was named Fluffy) is just adorable.
- This voice line from Kitsune after killing 10 zombies in rapid succession:
Kitsune: Elemental Pop!....ohhh,
kawaii! - Using the Brain Rot ammo mod on a Hellhound or a Plaguehound when there are no enemies to attack around will cause them to sit down, panting and wagging their tail like a regular dog. You can even pet them and get points from it.
- Becomes even funnier when playing as Maxis since her dog, Fluffy, was basically the mother of the Hellhounds, and evidently, she's a huge dog lover.
- Rarely in Outbreak, a random zombie will inexplicably be dressed in punk attire with a bright pink mohawk that when killed, will drop a Ray Gun. The kicker is that its name is Ronald Raygun.
