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Witless Protection is a crime comedy film released in 2008, starring Larry the Cable Guy, Ivana Miličević, and Jenny McCarthy. The film's director is Charles Robert Carner, and the distributor is Lionsgate.

During a routine patrol in his small town, Deputy Larry Stalder (Larry the Cable Guy) intervenes when he sees a woman (Ivana Milicevic) held against her will by four men in black. The woman, Madeleine, is the key witness in a high-profile FBI case and her supposed captors are the agents assigned to guard her. Larry suspects the agents are crooked, however, and takes Madeleine to Chicago, where he hopes to solve the case himself.


This film includes examples of:

  • Anti-Climax Boss: Agent Bodi, the agent who has been chasing Larry down the entire film, bows out after Larry convinces him to let him go in exchange for all the loot in Grimsley's safe.
    • Speaking of Grimsley, he is easily thwarted after Larry hands over a fake disc to him instead of the real one.
  • Advertised Extra: Despite being the only other headliner of this film, McCarthy's character, Connie, is a minor appearance throughout the film.
  • Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Obviously platonic since Larry's already taken, but he and Madeleine gradually get along much better over the course of the film.
  • Big Bad: Arthur Grimsley.
  • Butt-Monkey: Madeleine just cannot catch a break after she's forcefully joined together with Larry.
    • That goes double for FBI agent Riccardo Bodi, and his fellow agents who are actively hunting Larry down.
  • Chekhov's Gun: Of all things, the song Achy Breaky Heart from Billy Ray Cyrus.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Larry's cousin, Doc Savage.
  • Covers Always Lie: Larry is seen holding a gun in the poster/DVD cover, but in the film proper, he's never seen using one. The only time Larry does hold a gun, it's at the very beginning where he just hands it to his superior as he goes to confront Elmer regarding his horse.
  • The Danza: Larry the Cable Guy plays Larry Stalder.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Both Larry and Madeleine get into this in most of their scenes together.
  • Defrosting Ice Queen: Madeleine over the course of the movie.
  • The Dragon: Wilford Duvall.
  • Evil All Along: Even if Larry's assumptions of them being in cahoots with the Big Bad were discarded as false, Bodi and his fellow agents are revealed to actually be on Grimsley's side.
  • Fanservice: At one point, Connie wears a bra and short-shorts as she holds the FBI agents infiltrating Larry's house at gunpoint. Sweet.
    • Fan Disservice: During the airport scene, Larry is completely naked as the security team prepares to give him a cavity search. Eww.
  • Hostage for MacGuffin: At the climax, Grimsley demands the disc from Larry in exchange for Madeleine's safety.
  • Idiot Hero: Larry. The whole reason why the plot of the film happens is because he mistakenly believed the FBI agents escorting Madeleine had her against her will.
  • Living MacGuffin: Madeleine.
  • MacGuffin: A CD that contains incriminating evidence against the Big Bad.
  • MacGuffin Escort Mission: The whole premise consists of Larry escorting Madeleine to Chicago so that she could hand over a disc that'll bring the Big Bad down, while the FBI agents are actively hunting him down.
  • Mouth of Sauron: Wilford Duvall is the only villain Larry physically fights throughout the film.
  • Spanner in the Works: Despite his bumbling incompetence, Larry does prove to be this.
  • Squick: The airport cavity search scene.
  • Take a Third Option: During the Hostage for MacGuffin situation shown above, Larry subtly does this when it seemed as though he handed over the disc. Instead of being given the disc that contained the incriminating evidence against Grimsley, it was actually a disc containing a video of Larry singing "Achy Breaky Heart".

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