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The closest thing we have to main characters note
Ivan
- The Apprentice: Joined up with The Mistress to learn magic. Turns out he's not the first—she never teaches them actual magic and just gets off by tormenting them.
- Cosmic Plaything: Enforced by The Mistress, of course, but even when he temporarily escapes the castle nothing at all goes right for him and he ends up right back where he started.
- Masturbation Means Sexual Frustration: In his case it does, since a major hobby of The Mistress is to arouse him and then not let him get off. However once she knows he's doing this, she makes it so his jizz comes to life as a "cumsprite" to inform her that he's doing something he's not allowed to. Notably this is the very first comic.
- Put on a Bus: Gets put in a magic-induced coma after the Guilt Lizard arc and hasn't been seen since.
Navaana
- Of Corsets Sexy: Typically wears one over her jumpsuit
- Facial Markings: Has a triangle over each cheek, pointing inward.
- Our Vampires Are Different: Hoo boy. This one is a sexually inexperienced (at first) black woman who claims to be a doctor despite having no medical skill and a detective despite not knowing what is and is not a crime. She displays zero common vampire powers other than the fangs and zero weaknesses other than sunlight.
- Quack Doctor: Seriously this woman has no idea what she's doing, but she still charges. Shades of Obscene OB-GYN since she usually uses sex (often with herself) as a solution to ailments.
- Sexy Whatever Outfit: During the interrogation portion of the "Fun God" arc, she dressed up in one to seduce the perp. Only problem is she and the monks and very little time to find anything to use. She goes with "Fruit Viking"...and then with "Sexy Ghoul" just to do it again for more info. She pointedly did not go with Bedsheet Ghost or "Hat Rack"
Greir
- Butch Lesbian: Other than her long hair, anyway. She has only been shown willing to have sex with woman...and even then, only for a price.
- Cutting the Knot: Does this in her first story, sexually satisfying the Snow Queen (who is freezing cold and thus harms anyone who tries to have sex with her) by donning a thick coat and using a strap-on.
Vanka
- All There in the Manual: Her name hasn't thus far actually been used in the comic.
- Crazy-Prepared: She even booby-traps her own vagina in "The Rogue's Arsenal".
- Eyepatch of Power: She wears a scarf over one eye that has the same effect
- Impossible Thief: Most notably in "Fingers."
- Navel-Deep Neckline: She usually wears a dress with a deeply plunging neckline, which she often uses to tease or tempt others as she can easily open it to expose her breasts, such as in "Fingers".
- Vapor Wear: Her outfit is cut low enough in front and high enough on the sides to demonstrate this ("Cryophilia", for example).
- Weakness Turns Her On: According to Vanka in "Lapidary," "sometimes you can be so sad you go all the way around to being hot." When her victim proves utterly pathetic, she bones him.
Kronar
- Barbarian Hero: He's a Manly Gay version. It's parodied in "Dark Miasma", where his barbarian values apparently cause him to regard writing as sorcery, and even arrows as only borderline not-sorcery.
- Does Not Like Magic: Though his opinion on the definition of it may be skewed since he thinks of arrows as borderline not-sorcery...
- Dual Wielding: Does this in "Kronar Takes a Toll" and the "Dark Miasma" stories. Especially impressive considering his right hand's fingers are mostly lopped off.
- Eyes Always Shut: Except when showing rage or shock, he basically takes Clint Squint to its logical conclusion.
- Fingore: Kronar lost all the fingers on his right hand after holding on to a sword by the blade to insert the hilt in the anus of a guy. He still kicks ass.
- He-Man Woman Hater: Kronar and all of his fellows utterly reject anything remotely feminine. It helps that they're capable of Homosexual Reproduction, so they don't actually have to interact with women.
- Magic Skirt: Notably averted; he wears a rather dangerously short Loincloth. Whenever he's in a fight, the fact that he's Going Commando is easy to see.
- Manly Gay: It's probably not a coincidence he's always on top in whatever sex acts he gets up to. The former part getting tested is basically the plot of "Dark Miasma". He feels no shame over how he dressed and what he used to defeat the sorceress because feelings are for women.
- Testosterone Poisoning: Kronar and his fellow warriors are very masculine, so... they reproduce by themselves, shun women and are gay.
Recurring Characters
Oglaf
- Advertised Extra: Shares his name with the comic (whether or not it's named after him is unclear), but only appears in a handful of strips and hasn't been seen in years.
- The Chosen One: Apparently is this, but for what, exactly, is never revealed.
The Mistress
- Bad Boss: Mostly to Ivan, but she sometimes goes after other minions.
- Evil Redhead: And how!
- Sorcerous Overlord: Her magical power is often implied to be very mighty, though mostly she uses it for sexual reasons. We do eventually se her use it to collapse a tunnel.
- Stripperiffic: She may have an Unlimited Wardrobe but none of it leaves anything to the imagination.
- Villainous Friendship: With Sandoval, despite their differing ideas on tormenting Ivan.
Sandoval
Ambassador of Xoan. Very into Ivan
- "Ass" in Ambassador: Not towards the Mistress, but he's one hell of a libertine
The Snow Queen
The Dwarves
- Awesome, but Impractical: Pretty much anything built by the dwarves is going to be so over-the-top as to be worthless. Notable examples include a three-bladed sword the size of a plow that is designed to fuck your wife at night, a ring of bliss that instantly killed the user through sheer happiness, a chess-playing golem that "plays to fukken win" (read: it flips the board), a door locker that requires you to have sex with it, and something called a "cunt auger." That said, their attempts to make sex toys for dragons paid off, since being over-the-top when dealing with dragons is a good strategy.
- Bungling Inventor: At least in the opinion of everyone else. The dwarves seem to be satisfied with the outcomes.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Their inventions are mostly uniquely weird and of dubious usefulness. They also may suffer a Logic Bomb.
- Fish Eyes: The dwarves are sometimes drawn with these ("Brass Knobs", "tool", "Ring of Bliss", "Cavalcade of Wonders").
- Keet: They are extremely excited and happy about everything they do.
- Our Dwarves Are All the Same: They are more like Dragonlance gnomes than typical fantasy dwarves, being inventors of (mostly) impractical gadgets.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: All of the fukken dwarves have fukken limited vocabularies.
Curse Wraith
King Blowjob
The King from "A Very Deep Chasm"
An unnamed monarch, levelheaded and standard-issue.
- Only Sane Man: He appears to be the only sane person in his whole kingdom, and spends most of his appearances meting out irritation with the insane people and grifters who keep turning up at his court.
Gods
God
Devil
Sithrak
- Eye Scream: Has two nails embedded in his eyesockets.
- Hates Everyone Equally: According to his followers, devout worshippers and nonbelievers will suffer the same eternal fate.
- Mad God: His followers interpret him as such. In truth, not so much.
- Not Evil, Just Misunderstood: Big time. His followers insist he will torment everyone equally after death regardless if they good or bad ("So stay alive as long as you can!"). He explains to one of his cultists that he was the equivalent of an Emo Teen when he wrote that and that's not what will happen after death, before resurrecting him to spread the truth. Of couse, the cultists misinterpreted this as petty mind games ("His hate for us knows no bounds!").
