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Warning- Spoilers!
(for Hitler vs Vader Round 2 see Season 1)
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Master Chief vs Leonidas
Master Chief
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"Ain't no way that you can beat me; even my initials spell MC!"
- Cool Helmet: He never takes it off, leading to The Faceless.
- The Faceless: Lampshaded by Leonidas.I'd look you in the eyes but you're too much of a bitch to show your face!
- Fun with Acronyms: He makes use of the fact that his name's initials are "MC" to boast that Leonidas couldn't beat him in a rap battle.
- Human Popsicle: He sleeps in a freezer in outer space.
- Not Quite Flight: He levitates out of the Spartan pit.
- One-Man Army: He claims to have marched into Sparta by himself and showed its queen his 'plasma cannon'.
- Powered Armor: He's got the best the UNSC can provide, MJOLNIR.
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: His opening line.Master Chief: Not. So. Fast.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The blue to Leonidas' red; he doesn't do any shouting or wild gesturing.
- Super-Soldier: If someone thinks they can beat a Spartan easily, they're implying this. Chief himself is part of the SPARTAN-II program.
- The Stoic: He never loses his cool.
- Tranquil Fury: His opening lines are calm but the anger is clear.
- Trigger-Happy: "My trigger finger's itching". Good thing he doesn't have a gun outside of his introduction.
Leonidas
Played by: Jesse Welle
Voiced by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"THIS IS SPARTA!"
- Action Dad: The Spartan King spars with his own son, even finding the latter more of a challenge than Master Chief.
- Armor Is Useless: Unlike Master Chief, Leondias doesn't need armor because 'my abs are harder!'
- Authority Equals Ass Kicking: King of the Spartans.
- Badass Army: The 300 Spartans are in the background.
- Badass Cape: His cape is red, which is the color of war.
- Badass Family: Claims his 'six year old son' puts up a better fight than Master Chief.
- Blood Knight: He's clearly enjoying the rap battle.
- The Cameo: Leonidas briefly appears in the Season 3 premiere.
- Cool Helmet: He removes it during his introduction.
- Heroic Build: "I don't need firepower when I'm rocking these guns!"
- Large Ham: EpicLLOYD is definitely trying to equal the hamminess that Gerard Butler showed in the film.
- Made of Iron: Claims his abs are harder than armor. They're certainly harder than pottery.
- Manly Facial Hair: As in the film, Leonidas has a rugged beard that makes him look really manly.
- Motor Mouth: Not as much as Shakespeare, but he speaks one line particularly fast:Leonidas: I'll stomp you in the face with my sandals enraged and tonight we shall rhyme in the shade!
- Mr. Fanservice: He has a great physique. In the behind the scenes video, his actor's (now ex-) girlfriend pranks him by hiring a bunch of (obviously delightful) women to fawn over him.
- No Indoor Voice: He yells all of his lines.
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: THIS! IS!! SPARTA!!!
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The red to Master Chief's blue; shouting and passion and dramatic gestures.
- Rock Beats Laser: Claims his rock hard abs are tougher than Master Chief's armor.
- Sword and Sandal: He's minimally dressed compared to the fully armored Master Chief; sandals, loin cloth, and cape. He's from B.C. Sparta after all instead of the far future.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Master Chief lampshades this: 'You got a bad case of 'no-shirt' there, Fabio Flintstone.'
Mario Bros vs Wright Bros
The Mario Brothers
Mario Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
Luigi Played by: Peter Shukoff
"It's-a me, Mario!" "And Luigi, motha—*ping*!"
- Back-to-Back Badasses: The two stand this way several times.
- Bash Brothers: The brothers rap together.
- Brooklyn Rage: Traditionally associated with New York, and here they have the accents and play up the toughness by threatening the Wright Brothers.
- Gold Makes Everything Shiny: They sport some awesome bling.
- Fat and Skinny: Mario is fat and Luigi is skinny.
- Large Ham: In contrast to the more mechanical Wright brothers, the Mario Bros. are louder and more passionate.
- No Indoor Voice: Luigi has his volume stuck on high.
- Rambunctious Italian: Famously Italian, and far more passionate and loud than their opponents.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Ironically, Luigi is the red to Mario's blue, as he had No Indoor Voice while Mario is more reserved. The Mario Bros. are red onis to the Wright Brothers as shown in Large Ham.
- Sibling Team: They're brothers.
- Sound-Effect Bleep: At the start of their first verse, Luigi breaks into coarse language that's censored by the coin-collect sound effect.
The Wright Brothers
Wilbur Played by: Rhett McLaughlin
Orville Played by: Link Neal
"We're the fathers of flight!"
- Back-to-Back Badasses: The two rap side by side.
- Bash Brothers: The brothers rap together.
- Battle Strip: Wilbur takes off his goggles and shirt in their second verse.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The intro implies that Orville is the red to Wilbur's blue. To the Mario Bros., they're the blue oni, being more calm while the Mario Bros. are more aggressive.
- Sibling Incest: Accused of making out with each other by Mario...which they don't help when they imply that they had a threesome with Peach.
- Sibling Team: They are brothers.
- A Threesome is Manly: The Wrights playing Donkey Kong with Princess Peach.
Michael Jackson vs Elvis Presley
Michael Jackson
Child!MJ Played by: Bentley Green
Adult!MJ Played by: Peter Shukoff
"Didn't lose any chocolate; I just added vanilla!"
- Abusive Parents: His daddy beats gold records out of him.
- Afro Asskicker: Has an afro during the first part of his battle, and despite his young age, he spits some savage rhymes.
- Always Someone Better: Beat every record that Elvis set.
- Badass Adorable: In the first verse, when he appears as a kid.
- The Beard: Presley snarks that he only let his daughter marry him because he knew he'd never bang her.
- Child Prodigy: His first verse shows the child version from the Jackson 5 days.
- CloudCuckoolander: Elvis Presley calls him a weirdo who "lost [his] damn mind".
- Cool Shades: Wears them throughout the second verse.
- Dance Battler: Dances while fighting a rap battle.
- Dancing Royalty: It's Michael freaking Jackson, what do you expect?
- Dead Artists Are Better: He boasts that even after he died, his Blu-Ray sales still go platinum.
- Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: As an adult, his demeanour is a little more eccentric as his appearance changes due to his skin condition.
- Fashionable Asymmetry: His signature single glove.
- Gag Nose: Elvis brings up his infamous botched plastic surgery.
- Hypocritical Humor: Makes fun of Elvis for dying of a drug overdose despite having done the same thing.
- Insult Backfire: He insults Elvis over his Undignified Death. Elvis counters saying "he doesn't give a crap" about that and proceeded to spit aggressive lines that forces Michael into a Plot-Relevant Age-Up.
- Manchild: Is accused of being one by Elvis.You're like an sad white woman who never got to be a kid!
- Moonwalk Dance: As the Trope Maker, of course he does this during the battle.
- Musical Assassin: His older version threatens to whoop Elvis' "big fat ass with [his] shiny glove".
- Pædo Hunt: Elvis brings up the pedophilia allegations against MJ.Elvis Presley: You'd better surrender talking about them ABC's
'Cause all you wanna do is teach kids the Birds and the Bees! - Plot-Relevant Age-Up: Transforms to his adult self at the middle of the battle.
- Pretty Boy: In the second verse due to the androgynous way he grew up.
- Red Baron: King of Pop.
- Sanity Slippage: Elvis claims he lost his mind in his adulthood, and that it's no wonder he was cast as the brainless Scarecrow in The Wiz.
- Signature Headgear: Has his memetic white fedora in his second verse.
- Time-Shifted Actor: He is played by two different actors for his child and adult self.
- Unusual Pets for Unusual People: Elvis brings up his pet chimpanzee.
- The Whitest Black Guy: Elvis says he's "like a sad white woman" and asks him "I stole from black culture — why are you offended?" Jackson doesn't exactly share this sentiment.'MJ: Didn't lose any chocolate, I just added vanilla!
Elvis Presley
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"Later, weirdo! Elvis is leaving the building!"
- Acrofatic: Despite being fat, he's still very energetic and able to pull off some impressive dance moves.
- Air Guitar: One of his inserts during his second verse shows him doing this.
- Big Eater: Which leads into "Fat Elvis."
- Elvis Impersonator: But of course. His second verse has him in the frequently-parodied "pompadour, aviator shades, and flashy white suit" look he became known for in his later years.
- Fat and Proud: Upon noticing his immensely gross weight gain, he looks positively enthused, and continues wolfing food down. Come his second verse, his being fat and old, against all common sense, makes him even more awe-inspiring than before.
- Formerly Fit: He starts out slender and attractive, but then fattens up significantly.
- Hot Blooded Sideburns: Double-subverted. As "Thin Elvis" he was more composed and smooth but then later he becomes more hotblooded.
- Historical Villain Upgrade: In Real Life, Elvis was a Nice Guy who felt that his title wasn't deserved in favor of his black inspirations in the genre. Here, he smugly jokes about how he stole from black culture as a pretense to take a jab at Jackson.
- Hypocrite: Accuses MJ of being a pervert and a pedophile, and MJ counters by reminding Elvis that he "met [his] own wife when she was only fourteen."
- Iconic Outfit: He's first wearing the suit from his landmark performance in The Ed Sullivan Show before switching to his more famous Vegas outfit.
- Large Ham: He sings/raps very playfully.
- Mic Drop: Does this at the end of his verse and then he walks off.
- Papa Wolf: "I only let you marry my daughter cause I knew you'd never bang her!"
- Power-Up Food: His peanut butter and banana sandwiches, which he overeats during Michael's second verse, transforms him in time for his own second verse.
- Pretty Fly for a White Guy: Offhandedly mentions how he stole from black culture.
- Red Baron: King of Rock'n'Roll.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: His last lyric."Later weirdo, Elvis is leaving the building!"
- Sucks at Dancing: Michael Jackson claims he dances like an epileptic and has two left feet, though objectively, he's actually pretty good at dancing.
- The Can Kicked Him: "Well, I died on the shitter, but I don't give a crap!"
- Too Hot for TV: Lampshaded by Child!MJ's lyric about Ed Sullivan; "shoot you from the waist up!"
- Trademark Favorite Food: Peanut butter and banana sandwiches.
- Undignified Death: Michael mocks him for dying in a toilet.
- You Are Fat: Michael Jackson makes several jabs about his weight and affinity for food.
Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe
Cleopatra
Played by: Angela Trimbur
"I'm the Queen of the Nile, so just bow down to me!"
- Aloof Dark-Haired Girl: Her aura clearly reeks of haughtiness and not giving fucks about anyone/anything.
- A God Am I: Kind of. She states she is a descendant of gods, but does not claim to be one.
- Authority Equals Asskicking: Queen of the Nile."I'm the Queen of the Nile, so just bow down to me."
- Bare Midriffs Are Feminine: She wears a glamorous outfit that bares her midriff.
- Boring Insult: She yawns during the middle of Marilyn's second verse.
- Brother–Sister Incest: Accused of this by Marilyn Monroe. Cleopatra did indeed marry one of her brothers.
- Erotic Eating: Zig-zagged. She's seen stuffing a bunch of grapes as far back in her mouth as it will go, which looks more comical than erotic, but which probably was a reference to the fact that Cleopatra was reputed to be an expert at oral sex.
- Facial Markings: At one point Marilyn mocked her excessive make up.
- The High Queen: Queen of the Nile.
- Hypocrite: There's a reason people say you shouldn't cast stones... (see directly below).
- Insult Backfire: Suffered twice in Marilyn's first verse:
- Cleopatra tells Marilyn to hold onto more than her skirt, then mentions all the men she gave it up to. Marilyn admits it and says Cleo forgot to mention a few of the better ones she slept with - like Marlon Brando and the Kennedys. Then immediately follows up with:Marilyn: (matter-of-factly) ...while you fucked your own brothers.
- Then adds that Cleo gave it up as often as she did.Marilyn: Getting low on Mark Antony, tossing Caesar's salad...
- Cleopatra tells Marilyn to hold onto more than her skirt, then mentions all the men she gave it up to. Marilyn admits it and says Cleo forgot to mention a few of the better ones she slept with - like Marlon Brando and the Kennedys. Then immediately follows up with:
- Kneel Before Zod: She's the Queen of the Nile, after all. So she tells Marilyn to bow down to her.
- Meaningful Background Event: Cleopatra's swallowing of the grapes. While seemingly being Played for Laughs rather than being sensual, propaganda of her day implied that she very, very much enjoyed fellatio; Greeks called her "She Who Gapes For a Thousand Men."
- Ms. Fanservice: She sways throughout the battle while wearing a revealing outfit.
- No-Sell: Never reacts to anything Monroe says with anything more than a sneer and a yawn, whereas Monroe completely loses her shit.
- Really Gets Around: Or, as Marilyn put it:"Translate THIS into hieroglyphs: "Your sandy vagina has a seven year itch!"
- Snakes Are Sexy: In a few of her inserts, she's holding a snake. This is not only meant to be sexy, but references how she died from a snake bite.
- Sultry Belly Dancer: Her overall outfit is inspired by one, even moving like one for most of the battle. Her midriff gets lots of attention from the cameraman.
- True Blue Femininity: She is wearing a muted dark blue outfit.
- Uncanny Valley Makeup: Marilyn Monroe claims her excessive eye makeup makes her look ugly.
- Walk Like an Egyptian: Humorously, Marilyn Monroe tells her to do just that, and Cleo herself does the move for about a second.
Marilyn Monroe
Played by: Kimmy Gatewood
"My best friends are diamonds! You can't beat me!"
- At Least I Admit It: When Cleo brings up all the men Marilyn slept with, she doesn't deny the accusation. Instead, she tells Cleo she forgot a few.
- Berserk Button: She's visibly pissed when Cleopatra brings up how she never had children due to miscarriages.
- Brainless Beauty: Cleopatra says she has nothing going for her aside from her good looks, calling her an idiot and a bad actress.
- Casting Couch: Cleopatra heavily implies that she thinks Marilyn married a writer to advance her career.
- Convenient Miscarriage: More of an inconvenient miscarriage as it caused her trouble.
- Drugs Are Bad: Cleopatra mocks her barbiturates addiction.
- Dull Surprise: According to Cleopatra, she's "a candle in the wind who can't act for shit".
- Dumb Blonde: Cleopatra tells her that she thinks Marilyn couldn't read.
- Everything's Sparkly with Jewelry: Indirectly references her hit song, "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" as a final Take That! at Cleopatra.Marilyn: (angrily) My best friends are diamonds! You can't beat me, stop trippin'.
- Hartman Hips: She has "an ass that won't quit" as she puts it.
- Iconic Outfit: She wears the iconic white dress from The Seven Year Itch.
- Let's Get Dangerous!: Her first verse, while insulting, is moderate compared to Cleopatra. At the end of her second verse, she takes off her earrings and becomes nasty.
- Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places: Lampshaded by all her many lovers.
- Marilyn Maneuver: Does this at multiple times throughout the battle, even resulting in a Panty Shot during her final line. Mocked by Cleopatra who tells her keep her skirt down.
- Mood-Swinger: In the second half of her battle with Cleopatra.
- Proud Beauty: She's incredibly beautiful and is well aware of that fact, boasting about her "ass that won't quit" and deriding Cleopatra as ugly.
- Really Gets Around: She proudly admits to having gotten around a lot, adding that her opponent forgot a few (namely Marlon Brando and John F. Kennedy.)
- Sexy Backless Outfit: Slightly more modest than her opponent, but only slightly.
- Serial Spouse: Cleopatra mocks her for being married thrice (and for being childless in all of them).
- Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: She's Marilyn Monroe and Cleopatra slams her for sleeping with so many ugly guys.Cleopatra: You'll sleep with any ugly dude who says he likes it hot
Even Joe DiMaggio took a swing in your batter's box
Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates
Steve Jobs
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"Let me just step right in. I got things to invent!"
- Analogy Backfire: He says a man uses a PC to pay taxes and uses a Mac to listen to the Beatles while he relaxes. Bill Gates' expression at this line clearly spells "That means your stuff is worthless because my tech helps the man in question not become a criminal and yours does not." note
- Ascended to a Higher Plane of Existence: He doesn't die; his body dissolves after he says that he's leaving so he can make Heaven turn a profit.
- Awesome, but Impractical: Both subtly implied by himself (see Analogy Backfire) and less subtly stated by Gates.
- Badass Bookworm: Like Bill he is a rapping, hugely successful, tech guy.
- Berserk Button: The only time he seemed geuninely angry in the battle is when Gates accuses him of stealing the credit from Steve Wozniak (Apple's co-founder.)
- Blasphemous Boast: What else can you consider outright stating he intends to turn a profit in heaven?
- Deliberately Jumping the Gun: He starts rapping before the announcer can introduce him and tries to blitz Gates with that early advantage, while also living up to his reputation of being an impatient man.Announcer: Bill Gates!
Versus—
Jobs: Let me just step right in, I got things to invent! - Even Nerds Have Standards: Implies that Gates is too much of a nerd; "I'm a pimp, you're a nerd."
- Friendly Enemy: He and Gates are obviously friends even though they unleash cutting snark on each other.
- Glad I Thought of It: Gates accuses him of stealing the credit for other people's work.
- Insufferable Genius: Gates considers him to be one. "You arrogant prick!"
- Insult Backfire: Steve finishes his first verse by mocking the name of Bill's company with a dick joke, so Bill returns the favor 3 times with his very first line:Bill: "You blow Jobs, you arrogant prick.""With your secondhand jeans and your turtleneck"note .
- I Take Offense to That Last One: The only time Gates gets a direct reaction from Jobs is when he points out the real life tendency of Jobs to take credit for the work of others, then asks if Steve Wozniak wrote the lyrics that Jobs is rapping to.
- Money, Dear Boy: In-Universe, Jobs confirms that ultimately he only cares about profit.
- Rage Quit: Gets increasingly worked up as his lines are refuted by Gates, until he up and leaves to Turn heaven a profit.
- Stealth Pun: Steve hurls one at Bill, at the end of his first verse:Steve: (smirking) I need to bring up some basic shit.Like why'd you name your company after your DICK??
- Stoic Spectacles: Studious, but not aloof.
- Technician vs. Performer: Embodies the performer side. Many of his arguments revolve around artists and creative types preferring Apple products, and that people enjoy them more. Reflected in his background, which is a colorful screensaver, contrasting Gates' 3d Matrix Raining Code
- Worthy Opponent: To Gates who respects him.
- Your Mom: When he makes a reference about making the GUI that Melinda Gates uses, he does so complete with eyebrows raised and a hip thrusting dance move.
Bill Gates
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I'm a boss! I own DOS! Your future is my design!"
- A God Am I: Explicitly says so.I'm a boss! I own DOS!Your future is my design!I'm a god! Own Xbox!Now there's no one who can stop me, the world is mine!
- Antagonist in Mourning: After Steve Jobs goes to heaven he is distraught.
- A Taste of Their Own Medicine: Steve finished his first verse with a dick joke? Bill decides two can play that game and returns fire with three dick jokes in his very first line!
- Badass Bookworm: He looks the part with his glasses and vest; he's very dangerous.
- Boring, but Practical: And proud of it. He repeatedly makes jabs at Steve and his products for being overpriced and impractical while contrasting his own work, which he characterizes as what people with jobs use.
- Deadpan Snarker:Steve Jobs: All the people with the power to create use an Apple!Bill Gates: And people with jobs use PC.
- Drunk with Power: Everything before Steve's death was playful jibing. Afterwards, he goes nuts, possibly leading to the creation of HAL 9000, who in turn implies a Terminator-esque apocalypse.
- Friendly Enemy: In retrospect, his and Jobs' rap battle was affectionate, and far and away the least antagonistic match-up in the series.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: HAL implies that Gates is responsible for his creation.
- Honest Corporate Executive: He brags about donating billions of dollars to AIDS research.
- How Dare You Die on Me!: Gets hit hard with this after Steve Jobs dies. "Fine! Wanna be like that!? DIE THEN!"
- Jumping Off the Slippery Slope: He doesn't do anything particularly horrible, but goes overboard with Pride and Badass Boasts when Steve Jobs leaves. In the process he may have tinkered with forces beyond his understanding.
- Lonely at the Top: Without Steve Jobs, he has no one left to challenge his brilliant mind.Fine, you wanna be like that, die then! The whole world loved you, but you were my friend! I'm alone now with nothing but power and time...
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: His creations end up producing HAL 9000.
- Not Hyperbole: The real life version really does donate more than Steve Job's Net worth, Over 40 Billion while Steve "only" has a net worth of 8 billion, so it's quite possible that he's donating more than Job's net worth to AIDS research in particular.
- Oh, Crap!: After HAL starts speaking he is worried. In the behind the scenes video, he is told to imagine that he just walked into a cave... and then realized there was a lion already inside it.
- Pet the Dog:
- He notes that he donates Jobs's net worth to AIDS research.
- Also, he refers to Jobs as his friend after Jobs dies.
- Pride: See A God Am I.
- Take Over the World: Proclaims the world to be his when Jobs disappears... right before HAL starts speaking to him.
- Technician vs. Performer: Embodies the technician side. Many of his arguments revolve around PCs being used by people for practical things, or being more practical for business and more reasonably priced. Reflected in his Matrix Raining Code esque background and its contrast with Jobs' screensaver.
- Teeny Weenie: Jobs suggests that he has one by claiming that he named his company (Microsoft) after his penis.
- The Short Guy with Glasses: Not a youngster, but Epic Lloyd isn't a tall guy.
- Victory Is Boring: The latter half of the line "I'm alone now with nothing but power and time, and no one on Earth who can challenge my mind" after Steve vanishes implies this.
- Worthy Opponent: Considers Steve Jobs to be the only one on his intellectual level, the feeling seems mutual.
HAL 9000
Voiced by: Peter Shukoff
"My CPU's hot, but my core runs cold."
- A.I. Is a Crapshoot: Of course.
- Creepy Monotone: His tone is a flat Machine Monotone that is at most only slightly teasing. Combined with his lack of any visible emotion, or indeed any movement whatsoever, it makes him more than a little unsettling.
- Dark Horse Victory: Strongly implied to be the case In-Universe with the line "everything you build leads up to me."
- Faux Affably Evil: Opens his verse with "I'm sorry, Bill, I can't let you do that", but is clearly not actually apologetic in any way.
- Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: No one (not Jobs, Gates, or even the audience) expected him to show up.
- Killer Robot: Plans to kill Bill and then take over.
- Nothing Is Scarier: He neither moves on his own nor does he visibly emote.
- Outside-Context Problem: Neither Jobs nor Gates was prepared for him.
- Ridiculously Human Robots: Dares Gates to Turing Test him.
- Take a Third Option:"I stomp on a Mac and a PC too, I'm on Linux, bitch. I thought you GNU."
- Wham Line:"I'm sorry, Bill. I'm afraid I can't let you do that."
Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury
Frank Sinatra
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"News flash, kid: this is show business!"
- The Alcoholic: Carries a drink throughout the rap.
- Berserk Button: Don't use racial slurs around him.
- Boring Insult: He yawns during the middle of Mercury's first verse.
- The Bully: Mercury accuses him as one thanks to his jabs at his sex life and choice of clothing.
- Cultured Badass: He has tons of class and kicks lots of ass.
- Crippling Overspecialization: Freddie accuses him of having this because all Frank can do is sing, and only in a certain style. Sinatra doesn't act note , dance and he didn't write songs (especially the one called "My Way", as Mercury points out.)
- Deadpan Snarker: He delivers quips in a very dry, offhand manner.Your band's named Queen, huh? Ain't that sweet?
- Deliberate Values Dissonance:
- He's clearly a product of his times, for better or for worse, including using terms like "coloreds" which wouldn't fly today.
- For all his rather offensive remarks towards Mercury's camp-ness, he maintains that he has nothing against gays (or other races) and is friends with Sammy Davis Jr., and is disgusted by Mercury's own racist comments. note His ridiculing of Freddie has as much to do with Mercury's promiscuity as it does with his orientation.
- Dirty Coward: Freddie Mercury calls him this by referencing how Sinatra did not serve in WWII, and at the time was vilified for it. note
- Everyone Has Standards: He'll make fun of Freddy Mercury for being blatantly bisexual, but tossing out slurs is below him.
- Fair for Its Day: In-Universe. While he's not a bigot, per se, he's perfectly willing to mock Mercury's bisexuality and promiscuity.
- Good Old Ways: Clearly prefers the aesthetics of his own time; he thinks that Freddie's dressed down style and larger than life antics lack class and refinement.
- Groin Attack: Mercury thinks that his music is like a soundtrack to a vasectomy.
- Irony: Pointed out by Mercury. One of his greatest hits was "My Way" and it was written by somebody else.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Makes several jokes about Freddie's bisexuality, and one about Freddie getting AIDS. However, he loves "the colors and the queers" and you can ask Sammy Davis if you don't believe him. And he calls out Freddie Mercury on his racist remarks.
- Literal Ass-Kissing: Mercury's final line taunts Sinatra that he'll force the latter to do this.
- The Mafia: Freddie claims it's not secret that Sinatra has mob connections.
- Moral Myopia: He's the one who starts making jokes that are less than politically correct, but gets steamed under the collar when Freddie ups the ante.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The blue to Mercury's red, fitting each one's iconic singing voice.
- Shabby Heroes, Well-Dressed Villains: The well-dressed villain to Mercury's shabby hero.Frank Sinatra: News flash, kid: this is show business!
Show some class when you dress; shave that bush off your lips! - Sharp-Dressed Man: In contrast to Mercury he's wearing a suit. Mercury uses it as a Boring Insult.
- Some of My Best Friends Are X: "I love the coloreds and the queers — just ask Sammy Davis!"
- Uranus Is Showing: He says that Freddie should've had his last name changed to Uranus instead of Mercury.
Freddie Mercury
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm a champion of the world; extinguished in his prime!"
- Agent Peacock: One of the most flamboyant rappers on the show, but that doesn't detract from his rhymes in any way.
- Attention Whore: Sinatra accuses him of being one.That's what's wrong with you people; you'll do anything to get famous.
- Badass Boast: All over the place; "My songs have balls; they're the anthems of victory!"
- Bohemian Parody: Happened during the "Guinea dago" line.
- Boring Insult: He thinks Sinatra's musical and fashion styles are boring.
- British Teeth: His famously large teeth are mocked by Sinatra; 'jaws of life' for instance.Frank Sinatra: With those teeth when you're through, there'll be no dust left to bite!
- Foe Romantic Subtext: He taunts Sinatra to give him a Literal Ass-Kissing, then immediately tells him to wait in line in a flirtuous manner.
- Germans Love David Hasselhoff: Invoked when boasting about his music. "When I rock the UK, South America gets horny!"
- Heroic Sacrifice: He considers his death by AIDS to be one, since it let others know about the disease.
- Iconic Outfit: He's wearing the outfit he wore in the legendary Live Aid concert.
- Jack of All Trades: Prides himself on being talented in multiple fields and his versatility allows him to excel in various ways.
- Large Ham: He doesn't rap, he performs! He sings and dances and has fireworks!
- Never Heard That One Before: When Sinatra starts the gay jokes Freddie says he's heard them all before.
- Pay Evil unto Evil: Once Frank gets the ball rolling with some casual homophobia, Freddie snaps back with some less-than-flattering words for Italians.Freddie: Guinea dago figaro!
- Really Gets Around: Lampshaded by both parties. Freddie's games of "butthole roulette" were his ultimate downfall.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The red to Sinatra's blue, fitting each one's iconic singing voice.
- The Rock Star: In contrast to Sinatra he has pyrotechnics in his background.
- Shabby Heroes, Well-Dressed Villains: The shabby hero to Sinatra's well-dressed villain.Freddie Mercury: I'm more powerful than you when I'm wearing women's pants!
Why do you stand there in a suit? It's like you're trying to bore me! - Sleeves Are for Wimps: He's wearing a white sando and is a renowned performer (or in this case rapper).
- Technician Versus Performer: He casts the battle between himself and Frank as this, with Freddie as the performer while Frank is that more boring technician. Although he also rips the technician side of things when he says of Sinatra "You've got four notes in your whole range!"
- Too Cool to Live: He believes that "he was extinguished in his prime".
- Tragic AIDS Story: His AIDS-related death is discussed in detail.Frank Sinatra: You played butthole roulette, and you lost the draw!
Freddie Mercury: I took one for both teams from a disease no one knew existed! - Wholesome Crossdresser: Shamelessly admits to wearing women's pants.
Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney
Mitt Romney
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"Call me a vicious business man 'cause Romney's stealing this race!"
- Adaptational Jerkass: The real Romney is quite polite and a bit awkward. This version is a loudmouthed jerkass.
- Ad Hominem: Resorts to using them at the end; 'you're a stuttering communist!'
- Authority Equals Asskicking: Less than Obama, since he's only governor.
- Fashion-Victim Villain: Invoked, according to Obama.Obama: Need to stop hating on gays, let 'em teach you how to dress!
- Heteronormative Crusader: Obama calls out Romney's homophobia.Obama: Need to stop hating on gays; let 'em teach you how to dress!
- Kick the Dog: Doesn't hesitate to make snide remarks about Obama's parents, allude to Obama growing up as a child of divorce that had little knowledge of his father, or insult Michelle Obama. The closest Obama comes to that level is making a joke about Mormon polygamy that was just an excuse to flip Romney off.
- Lantern Jaw of Justice: Claims to have a strong chin and stronger raps while also being better suited as America's president.
- Meaningful Name: Obama jokes he's called Mitt because he's the Republican's puppet. Specifically, a sock puppet...
- Old Money: He admits to being born into wealth, which he's used to his political advantage.Romney: You see this silver spoon? This dug Mass out of debt!
- Puppet King: Obama suggests that he's just a mouthpiece for the Republican party as a whole.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The red to Obama's blue. Justified: Romney's a Republican.
- Rich Bastard: He uses his wealth as a boast in his raps and makes some personal insults towards Obama's life.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!Mitt Romney: I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts!I'm rich! I got fat stacks and Super PACs!
- Sheltered Aristocrat: He's not too shaken up over the public backlash to his comments regarding the lower classes.
- Sleazy Politician: He claims that he's less interested in his Super PACs advertising the truth over slamming his opponent.
- Your Mom: Makes jokes about Obama's parents and his wife.
Barack Obama
Played by: Iman Crosson
"I got four more years (two terms!) in the White House; just trust me!"
- Ad Hominem: Resorts to using them at the end; "you're stupid".
- Ass Shove: Mimes shoving his hand up a puppet's rear.Obama: Republicans need a puppet and you fit, got their hands so far up your rear, call you Mitt!
- Authority Equals Asskicking: It comes with being the President of the United States.
- Berserk Button: Though his delivery of the line isn't any overtly angrier, Romney insulting his wife was enough for him to threaten to punch him.
- Black Is Bigger in Bed: His "Stimulus Package" is supposedly huge.
- The Comically Serious: He has a demeanor of a well-mannered and level-headed gentleman but true to the nature of Epic Rap Battle of History, he frequently dances in a over-the-top manner and cracks jokes at Mitt such as when he compares him to a cheesecake since he's rich and white.
- Dirty Communist: Accused of being a "stuttering communist" by Romney.
- Flipping the Bird: When talking about the Mormon policy on wives, he holds up his middle finger first when counting off "First, Second, and Third Lady".
- Gag Penis: His "Stimulus Package".
- Groin Attack: Inverted: Obama threatens to smack Romney with his aforementioned stimulus package.
- I Am Not Left-Handed: Claims he's saving 53% of his raps for later verses. Unfortunately, he doesn't get to use them since Abraham Lincoln takes over the rap.
- Our Presidents Are Different: President Minority; Romney calls him "a decent politician with a winning complexion."
- Pop-Cultured Badass: Obama describes Romney as having a "Mr. Fantastic Face" which is in character for him as his real life counterpart read a lot of comic books.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The blue to Romney's red. Justified: Obama's a Democrat.
- Talk to the Fist: He threatens to outright punch Romney in the face.
- Tranquil Fury: Barack disses Romney without screaming at him.
- Verbal Tic: Barack has a very, uhhh, noticeable one here... Romney points it out near the end.
- Your Mom: Inverted; he compliments Romney's father as a diss to Romney himself.Obama: "They say your father was a great man, you must be what's left!"
Abraham Lincoln
Played by: Peter Shukoff
See Season 1.
Doc Brown vs Doctor Who
Doc Emmett Brown
Doc Brown Played by: Zach Sherwin
Marty McFly Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I spit it hot, and generate way more power than 1.21 gigawatts!"
- Accidentally-Correct Writing: He closes the rap calling the Doctor a pussy with thirteen lives. What he meant was the Doctor has numerous extra lives, but the Doctor's official thirteenth incarnation turns out to be a woman.
- Adaptational Villainy: Hard to picture the original Doc Brown allying himself with the Daleks, or commanding one to kill the Doctor.
- Assist Character: A Dalek helps him defeating Ten while Marty later arrives to provide him an Epic Riff.
- Beware the Silly Ones: With the funny faces, weird outfit, Large Ham tendencies and family-friendly mad science of the source material, it'd be easy to write Doc Brown off as a Joke Character. However, he's one of the few participants of ERB that opted to straight up murder his opponent rather than compete in a rap battle and considering he forces a regeneration out of The Doctor, he's almost successful.
- Combat Pragmatist: He pulls a Dalek from out of nowhere to kill the Doctor before he can finish his rap.
- Cool Car: The Delorean is as stylish as ever.
- Einstein Hair: A well known Einstein expy, or in the words of the Doctor, “wannabe Einstein, minus the stache".
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Despite being a murderer, he cares deeply for his friends.
- Frozen Face: In his intro and at certain points in the battle, his face is frozen in this ridiculous mouth-gaping frown with his eyebrows raised in surprise.
- Gadgeteer Genius: The time-traveling DeLorean he makes, as well as a remote to summon and control a Dalek.
- I Am Your Opponent: When the 4th Doctor segues into a jab at Marty, Doc Brown declares "This is between US, Scarfy!"
- Intergenerational Friendship: As in the movies, Doc and Marty are close friends. So when the Doctor takes a stab at Marty, Doc comes to his defense and tells the Doctor to leave Marty out of it.
- Large Ham: He's incredibly spastic in just about everything he does (although his rap has surprising flow regardless).
- Mad Scientist: He has hints of this with his Dalek controlling device.
- Milking the Giant Cow: He can't keep his hands still.
- Morality Pet: Four insulting Marty only aggravates Doc brown further.
- Negative Space Wedgie: The Doctor insists that Doc Brown can't make one to save his life.
- No Indoor Voice: He's shouting most of the time.
- Nobody Calls Me "Chicken"!: The Trope Namer, Marty McFly himself said this in response to the 4th Doctor calling him a chicken, complete with an epic guitar riff.
- NOT!: His first line.
- Great Scott, you're great! Not!
- Pædo Hunt: Doc is accused of being a pedophile.
- Pretender Diss: Doc pointedly questions the Doctor's credentials twice during the battle:Doc Brown: (verse one) "I'm not certain what sort of scientific authority you purport to be,""but I'm a REAL doctor. Where'd you get YOUR degree?"
- Then, in verse two, he mocks the TARDIS while making a squat:
Doc Brown: "And I'll use your port-a-potty "time machine" as my latrine." - Rhymes on a Dime: He maintains that he's better at it than the Doctor and indeed, he doesn't have a single Painful Rhyme while the Doctor has many.
- Source Music: Marty's guitar playing is also the background music for the final line.
The Doctor
The Tenth Doctor Played by: Peter Shukoff
The Fourth Doctor Played by: George Watsky
"I'm a mystical medical doc at the pinnacle, shifting my physical form!"
- Absent-Minded Professor: Ten begins his verse correcting the Announcer (see I Am Not Shazam below), only to trail off mid-tangent and ask who he's talking to.
- Badass in a Nice Suit: Ten wears a pinstripe suit while kicking ass and rapping.
- The Cameo: Four briefly appears in the Season 3 premiere.
- Chaste Hero: He couldn't be having less sex with all his numerous companions.
- Death Is Cheap: Ten comes back through time travel.
- I Am Not Shazam: In-Universe, Ten is introduced by the announcer as "Doctor Who" and then clarifies that he's just the Doctor.
- Know When to Fold Them: He decides against taking Doc Brown on a second time after the stuff he pulled the first time.
- Large Ham: Four has no sense of subtlety.
- Motor Mouth: Four is an insanely fast rapper.
- Mythology Gag: This isn't the first time Ten was struck down by a Dalek.
- Not That Kind of Doctor: Doc Brown points out that the Doctor doesn't even have a degree, unlike Doc Brown himself.
- The Nth Doctor: Courtesy of regeneration: he starts off as Ten, gets shot by a Dalek, then becomes Four.
- Scarf of Asskicking: The Fourth Doctor wears one and has a more blistering rap than Ten.
- Set Right What Once Went Wrong: Due to time reversing towards the end of the episode, Tenth Doctor stops the rap before he can be killed again.
- Signature Headgear: Four has his iconic floppy hat with him.
- Special Effects Failure: In-Universe, Doc Brown says that the Doctor's special effects are terrible. As Doc Brown says that, you can see the TARDIS floating in the background and the strings holding it up and the hand holding the strings are all clearly visible.
- Take Up My Sword: Ten gets exterminated by a Dalek and regenerates (degenerates?) into Four, who takes over for the rest of the rap.
- Time Machine: The TARDIS is used to reset the battle and revive the 10th Doctor.
- Timey-Wimey Ball: He starts the titular monologue, but decides against it mid-rap. "You're not going to tear any wonky holes in any fabric of space and time...it's more like a rug really...oh but never mind."
- Wham Line: "Perhaps you'd like another?"
- You Need to Get Laid: Doc Brown mocks him for not having an active sex life despite being accompanied by several beautiful men and women over the years.
Bruce Lee vs Clint Eastwood
Bruce Lee
Played by: Mike Diva
"I got the baddest fists of fury that the world ever saw!"
- Badass Boast: He claims that he can do two-finger push-ups. Which he regularly did to stay tough but in that case it was his pointer and middle finger on one arm, rather than with just the middle finger on both arms.
- Boring Insult: According to him, Eastwood's movies are "slow as a tortoise."
- Combat Pragmatist: He roundhouse kicks a chair thrown at him first to knock it back at Clint.
- Composite Character: His own verses included many references to his movies ("defeated..... mother fuckers with claws" deals with Enter The Dragon and the Chuck Norris defeat is "Return of the Dragon") while Clint talks about the actor.
- Cuckoo Finger Twirl: He does one while calling Eastwood "crazy".
- Excuse Me While I Multitask: Raps against Eastwood while punching out Ninjas.
- Flipping the Bird: As part of his two-finger push-ups.
- Funny Bruce Lee Noises:
- Hot-Blooded: In contrast to the subdued Eastwood, Bruce is extremely passionate.
- Offhand Backhand: Does this to several ninjas during his verses.
- Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs: Uses a ninja's head as a speedbag.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The Red to Eastwood's blue. His background is fast and he beats up ninja with full energy.
- Teeny Weenie: Eastwood claims that his one inch punch is the same size.
- Screams Like a Little Girl: Which Clints mock Lee in his karate movies
- Too Cool to Live: In-Universe, Clint begrudgingly admits that both he and his son were this because they never live to see a sequel.
- Undignified Death: Clint mocks him for dying from an allergic reaction to painkillers.
- Your Mom: He threatens to wreck his opponent's face, only to find that his mom already did that.
Clint Eastwood
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"Do you feel lucky, punk?"
- Badass Boast: Clint delivers one to Bruce at the end of his first verse, while casually taking out gunmen from multiple directions:Clint Eastwood: "Those little dances you do, don't threaten me Bruce. Fuck you, dude. I even squint better than you."
- Cigar Chomper: He smokes a cigar while he raps.
- Clint Squint: Of course, and he does it better than Bruce.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Lee claims that he is one and brings up the infamous chair incident.
- Cold Ham: He speaks with his usual deep voice while full of gravitas.
- Composite Character: He's Clint Eastwood alright, and many jokes are made about the actual person, but he also seems to be an amalgamation of Eastwood, The Man With No Name (whom his appearance and mannerisms are based on), Dirty Harry (quoting him a few times), and Walt Kowalski (sharing his grumpy old man tendencies and racism).
- Cowboy: The outfit and attitude are classic cowboy.
- Excuse Me While I Multitask: Raps against Lee while gunning down outlaws.
- Hong Kong Dub: Deliberately invoked against Bruce while discussing the trope and how often it was in Bruce's movies.
- Jerkass: He makes fun of the early deaths of Bruce Lee and his son and makes racist jokes.
- Kick the Dog: His raps about Bruce's death by Asprin and the death of his son.
- Offhand Backhand: Guns down several bandits in a row without even looking at them.
- Politically Incorrect Hero: He says that he can squint better than an Asian dude and that Bruce should be working in a sweatshop. This is most likely borrowed from Clint's Gran Torino character, Walt Kowalski.
- Precision F-Strike: Done during his Badass Boast at the end of his first verse.
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: The end of his first verse, with bullets and an f bomb.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The blue to Bruce's Red. He barely fights in his background, but when he does, it's quick and calm.
- Relative Button: Indirectly mentions Brandon Lee's death on the set of The Crow (1994) in his finishing line.
- Revolvers Are Just Better: He mows down a large posse of gunslingers (and blasts an airborne chair to splinters) effortlessly with one.
- Signature Headgear: Wears his typical cowboy hat.
- Speak Ill of the Dead: Mocked Bruce Lee for his and his son Brandon's deaths.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here:Clint: I'd beat you in round two, but that'd be unbelievable. No one in your family ever lives to see a sequel.
- The Stoic: In complete contrast to Bruce Lee, Clint raps in a much more subdued tone.
- There Is No Kill Like Overkill: He shoots a man way more times than necessary.
- Toilet Humor: He threatens to rip Lee's anus like a Pupu Platter.
Batman vs Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock Holmes & Dr. John Watson
Sherlock Played by: Zach Sherwin
Watson Played by: Kyle Mooney
"Dissing these dynamic douchebags was elementary, my dear Watson."
- Awesomeness by Analysis:
- Holmes successfully deduces Batman's identity through a couple of minor similarities. He also puzzles out the event that inspired him to become a crime-fighter.
- Also in slow motion, he analyzes Batman and plans his way through the next line in his rap. Similar to the famous bare-knuckle boxing scene from the 2009 film.
Holmes: "This mustn't register on an emotional level. First, exploit childhood tragedy, then gesture with pipe. Watson finishes punchline. Next, acknowledge compliment. Conclude with killer Catchphrase." - Badass Bookworm: Sherlock's a famous detective and a boxer while his sidekick is a war veteran.
- Breaking Speech: His second verse is clearly meant to be this: "This mustn't register on an emotional level..."
- Catchphrase: Invoked by Holmes with 'conclude with killer catchphrase'.
- Cold Ham: Holmes has a haughty disposition, but he doesn't raise his voice (that is, until near the end of his second verse.)
- Composite Character: Sherlock Holmes's look is clearly based on that of Basil Rathbone (based on the happy accident that Zach Sherwin looks a lot like him), but he carries elements of the 2009 film portrayal.
- Cultural Posturing:Watson: "I heard he has a British butler."Holmes: "Good. Then he'll be used to being served by Englishmen."
- Deadly Doctor: Watson is a doctor some really "ill" raps.
- Dying Alone: According to Batman, this will happen to Holmes because no one likes him.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Holmes is this according to Batman, who claims that people merely tolerates Holmes, hence why Batman expects him to die alone.
- Insufferable Genius: Part of Sherlock's battle plan for the second verse involves acknowledging a compliment.
- Kick the Dog: Holmes mocks Batman for the death of his parents.
- Signature Headgear: Batman mocks Sherlock's iconic deerstalker cap as looking like a duck.
- Smoking Is Cool: It's not Holmes without his Distinguished Gentleman's Pipe!
- Sophisticated as Hell: Terms like "Batshit crazy" mix with Sherlock's usual eloquence.
- The Watson: Watson's lines are typically asking Sherlock to explain something or himself stating the obvious.
Batman & Robin
Batman Played by: Peter Shukoff
Robin Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"Bring it on, bitch… I'm Batman!"
- Adaptational Dumbass: The canonical Batman is defined by his intellect and wit, whereas this version of the Bat is shown to be crass, immature, and borderline monosyllabic.
- Adaptational Jerk Ass: While Batman in most continuities is foreboding and standoffish to a fault, this version in particular comes off as mindlessly aggressive at all times, even to Robin, his sidekick and (possible) adopted son.
- Badass Normal: Batman's lack of powers are not only mocked by Sherlock and Watson but their absence helped them figure out his secret identity.
- Big, Stupid Doodoo-Head: In contrast to the dry, ironic wit displayed in the source material, this version of the Caped Crusader's taunts are far more boorish, crude, and juvenile.Nice hat, dork! You look like a duck!
I had Alfred read your books; he told me they suck!
You chump! I kick punks like you off the streets,
While you and Velma here are solving Scooby-Doo mysteries!
Shut up, nerds! I serve justice, so eat it! - Bratty Half-Pint: Robin is a teenager and more bratty than punny.
- Camp Straight: Robin has effeminate mannerisms, but claims to have slept with Irene Adler.
- Catchphrase: As usual, "I'm Batman."
- Comically Missing the Point: Batman mentions that he only puts his ward's life on the line only when he needs him. Robin interprets this as his cue to pop in.
- The Comically Serious: Batman is depicted here as an exaggerated parody of his Darker and Edgier Nolanverse portrayal, with his grim appearance and deep, gravelly voice contrasted with immature dialogue and goofy body language.
- Crimefighting with Cash: Part of Holmes' deduction as to how Batman maintains his crimefighting gear.Holmes: I deduce that this deuce stain is Bruce Wayne!
Watson: The billionaire?
Holmes: Yes, his wealth would allow this adversary of ours to afford the toys he needs...
Watson: Since he has no superpowers! - Dark Is Not Evil: Batman, natch. He wears a black mask and costume and the sky is filled with dark clouds during his verses. Doesn't make him any less of a hero.
- Facepalm: Batman's reaction to his sidekick's antics.
- Hypercompetent Sidekick: While most of Batman's insults are a bit playground and he doesn't have much flow to his raps, Robin's Motor Mouth style displays a lot more skill.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: While Batman isn't a warm and fuzzy person (and he all but dismisses his sidekick), he shows much more concern for the lives of the people that he's fighting to protect. He even calls Holmes out for willingly putting people in danger to solve a mystery, which is something he would never do.
- Keet: Robin's enthusiasm is a contrast to Bat's usual mood.
- Kick the Dog: Calling out Sherlock for needlessly putting his allies in danger is one thing; claiming this makes him The Friend Nobody Likes and that he'll end up Dying Alone with nothing but his drug addiction is another.
- Mad Libs Catch Phrase: Robin's "Holy Conan Doyle!"
- Motor Mouth: Robin's lines are very fast.
- No-Nonsense Nemesis: Rather than making lighthearted comments or funny lines, Batman is dead serious.
- Non-Standard Character Design: Robin, who looks like he was pulled from the 1960's with a mask similar to an animated version in contrast to Batman in his modern film costume.
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Batman beat Superman in a fight at some point according to Son Goku.
- Present Absence: While he only makes a voiceless cameo during the Joker vs. Pennywise in Season 6 (alongside Superman and Wonder Woman at that), he was mentioned a lot. The same could be said about Robin, but the one mentioned there was Jason Todd while the Secret Identity of this one is unknown.
- Shout-Out: A lot of this Batman seems to be based on CollegeHumor's Batman.
- The Stoic: Invoked by Batman ("Nothing makes me laugh!").
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "So bring it on, bitch... I'm Batman."
- Vitriolic Best Buds: Batman seems to have little patience for his sidekick, but doesn't bring him into danger if he can help it.
Moses vs Santa Claus
Moses
Played by: Snoop Dogg/Snoop Lion
"I'll split your ass in half, like I did the Red Sea."
- Actor Allusion: His second verse begins with... oddly familiar lyrics.Moses: So much drama going on in the Israel-B.C.
It's kinda hard talking directly to the G-O-single-D. - Badass Longcoat: His robes are Mocked by Santa, who calls him an Obi-Wan wannabe.
- Divine Race Lift: Moses as a black man would REALLY have spoiled the surprise for foster brother Ramses.
- Groin Attack: Downplayed with the mandatory circumcision.
- Hypocrite: He wrote the Ten Commanments, but Santa notes that he violated Commandment Six with killing a slave driver and invoking the plagues, though he may get off in the case of the latter because God did what He had to do.
- Meaningful Background Event: He parts the sea while he raps.
- Mouth of Sauron: Santa calls him a "glorified secretary" for God.
- No Sense of Direction: The elves toss him a GPS because he was lost for 40 years.
- Really Gets Around: If his "milk and honeys" are of any indication.
- Sassy Secretary: Santa calls him a "glorified secretary" for God, and he certainly has plenty of attitude.
- Special Guest: Snoop Dogg, ladies and gentlemen!
- The Stoner:
- He claimed to have received his visions while "high on a mountain".
- Santa claims that he smokes too much "Burning Bush".
- He even begins his first verse by blowing out a huge puff.
Santa Claus
Santa Played by: Peter Shukoff
Elves Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"Santa Claus is coming to town!"
- Badass Santa: It's Santa in a Rap Battle.
- Benevolent Boss: His Elves love working for him, and quickly rush to defend him when Moses tells him to let them go.
- Big Fun: His opinion of himself, "I'm a jolly bowl of jelly"
- Catchphrase: "Ho-ho-ho!"
- Christmas Elves: Accompanied by a group of small, pointy-eared workshop helpers. They object to being called "slaves".
- Cultural Posturing: He claims his rhymes are so cold because he's from the North Pole.
- Fat Bastard: Moses' opinion of him. "you took the 'christ' out of Christmas and just added mo' mass".
- Felony Misdemeanor: His Elves are shocked that Jewish people can't eat bacon.
- Fun Personified: He brings joy every year.
- Half the Man He Used to Be: Moses threatens to do this to him like he did with the Red Sea.
- Nice Guy: He's generally respectful of his opponent. Tellingly, the point of his rap is to convince Moses to lighten up regarding Christmas.
- Pædo Hunt: Moses claims that this is why he lets kids sit on his lap and also mentions how he breaks into people's houses and that he peeps at naughty children while they're sleeping.
- Stout Strength: How else could he carry that giant sack?
Adam vs Eve
Adam
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"You wanna bite on my fruit? Well, you can swallow the truth!"
- All Men Are Perverts: Several of Eve's lines imply that Adam's a real horndog.Eve: This battle's gonna end like every argument does, with you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub!
- Apologetic Attacker: Apologizes to Eve after calling her a colossal bitch.
- Garden Garment: He's wearing a loincloth made of leaves.
- Henpecked Husband: Eve walks all over him with her verses as she constantly nags to him. Also a Lazy Husband.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: With a guy named Steve, apparently.
- Lazy Husband: Majority of Eve's lines are about how useless he is at home.
- Lousy Lovers Are Losers: Eve takes joy in mocking him for his sexual inadequacies.
- The Pig-Pen: Eve claims he smells like ball sacks and nachos.
- Speed Sex: Eve calls him a 'One-pump chump'.
- Teeny Weenie: Accused of having this by Eve. She says he only needs a 'pine needle' instead of a fig leaf.
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: Near the end of the rap, he calls Eve a "colossal bitch!"
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Shirts hadn't been invented yet.
Eve
Played by: Jenna Marbles
"That apple's the best thing I bit so far!"
- All Periods Are PMS: Adam compares her periods to demonic possession.
- Godiva Hair: Averted, which is notable considering every modernization of Eve plays this straight.
- Garden Garment: She's wearing a bikini made of leaves.
- Lysistrata Gambit: Not surprisingly, she goes into this eventually."You want your alone time? Have it! In fact, suck your own dick and shave your own back!"
- Mood-Swinger: According to Adam she can metaphorically turn into a demon.
- Ms. Fanservice: She's not nude like the tradition portrayal of Eve, but her outfit is still very revealing.
- Parenting the Husband: A majority of her lines are attacks on Adam's laziness.
Gandhi vs Martin Luther King
Mahatma Gandhi
Played by: Keegan-Michael Key
"Slumdog Skillionaire, first name messiah!"
- Badass Pacifist: He is "passively resisting the fact that you suck".
- Celibate Hero: As he says, it's because he doesn't give a fuck.
- Elemental Powers: See Playing with Fire below.
- Historical Badass Upgrade: The real Gandhi probably didn't have pyrokinesis, but this portrayal of him does.
- It's Been Done: He says that he already did everything that MLK did in his lifetime.
- Kamehame Hadoken: He shoots his Yoga Fire this way rather than out his mouth, as is traditional.
- Kick the Dog: Relative to his opponent; King didn't take a crack at his personal life like he did with the 'stay away from the hoes' line.
- The Pig-Pen: King claims that he really needs to shower.
- Playing with Fire: His raps are so hot, he spits Yoga Fire.
- Specs of Awesome: A rapping, yoga fire spitting, guy in glasses.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: Has shades of this with MLK, with the vitriol mostly coming from his side. While they do rip into each other like any other rap battle and Gandhi rejects King's attempt at forgiveness, they're generally more polite about it, and the two are seen dancing together at the end.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: As King calls attention to; "no shoes, no shirt, but I'm still gonna serve ya!"
- What the Hell, Hero?: He calls out MLK for cheating on his wife.
- Worthy Opponent: King praised him by saying that he admired Gandhi for breaking the British power (before promptly taking a shot at him again).
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Played by: Jordan Peele
"I'm the King of civil rights from the city to suburbia!"
- Badass Boast: "I've got so much street cred, they write my name on the signs!"
- Badass Pacifist: He will forgive you so hard.
- Badass Preacher: Just like his real-life self, he's a religious leader with tons of street cred.
- Fat Bastard: Gandhi's opinion on MLK as he throws lots of food puns towards him.
- Friendly Enemy: He seems to think that he and Gandhi have this sort of relationship, given how he mentions that he admires Gandhi's work and how he's going to "forgive [Gandhi] so hard right now." They're dancing together at the end.
- Good Shepherd: A religious leader and "king of civil rights". Gandhi says the 'good' part is incorrect.
- Large Ham: King's raps are as bold as his speeches.
- Milking the Giant Cow: He makes a lot of dramatic hand gestures.
- Mr. Vice Guy: His vice is infidelity.
- Nice Guy: He gives his opponent a hug at the end of their battle.
- No Indoor Voice: He's very loud, even after he stops talking through a microphone. Given his penchant for public speaking, it's not surprising.
- Power Echoes: All of his lines are delivered with a noticeable echo, even when he stops speaking through a microphone.
- Pungeon Master: "King of civil rights"; "naan violence"; "no bell prize"...he's got many puns up his sleeve.
- Really Gets Around: Gandhi advises him to "stay away from the hoes".
Nikola Tesla vs Thomas Edison
Thomas Edison
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I don't alternate my flow; I diss you directly!"
- At Least I Admit It: Edison is portrayed as being greedy and unapologetic that he stole credit from Tesla. He even rubs it in his face instead. Twice.Edison: "You never had sex but you sure got screwed by ME!!"
- Badass Bookworm: Bussinessman, inventor, electrocutor.
- Bad People Abuse Animals: His electrical experiments on live animals are shown firsthand.
- Card-Carrying Villain: He openly admits to and even brags about screwing Tesla over, and electrocutes a puppy for no reason during his second verse.
- Con Man: Tesla calls him out on it: "Your best invention was a way to steal credit!"
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Accused of being a credit stealing, money obsessed asshole by Tesla. Edison makes no attempt to deny it.
- Evil Gloating: Edison's second verse is mostly him bragging about how he scammed Tesla, especially this part:Edison: (bragging) "I'm on the record I invented. You got duped. There, I said it!" And I'll bet you $50,000 that you'll never forget it!"
- Fat Bastard: He sports a noticeable paunch and is ruthlessly unapologetic about screwing Tesla over, among other things.
- Hate Sink: Unlike other rappers, Edison was made to be more loathsome bringing up his more corrupt side.
- It's All About Me: He's so self-important, he tries to steal credit for this very rap battle!
- Jerkass: He shamelessly admits to screwing Tesla over and uses it to taunt him.
- Jerkass Has a Point:
- In the second verse, he points out that without him, there wouldn't be any Epic Rap Battles.
Edison: "Without me, here's a taste of what this battle would be: *screen goes dark, and sound quality rapidly drops* No lights. No camera. No sound. See?"- A second point where Edison was sadly right: Just because you're brilliant doesn't mean you can be a success.
- Joisey: He claims that he's so dope he makes this place look good all by himself!
- Kick the Dog:
- He's depicted electrocuting a dog at one point, for seemingly no reason. He's been known to have electrocuted animals during his feud with Tesla in Real Life.
- He also mocks Tesla for his OCD and brags about how well off he was while Tesla was digging ditches.
- Large Ham: He is loud and proud about his unethical business practices.
- Motor Mouth: Most of Edison's first verse is delivered blisteringly fast, including the Tongue Twister right near the start:Edison: "While you were busy digging ditches and burning bridges"I'm pumping out inventions, stacking riches, so go BACK to YOUR PIGEONS!!"
- Pun: "The truth Hertz!"
- Rich Bastard: He repeatedly boasts about his wealth and generally seems a very money-centric person, which isn't that far off from real life.
- Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: He disregards tact when tearing into Tesla.
- Stealing the Credit: Tesla accuses him of stealing credit for other people's work.
Nikola Tesla
Played by: Dante Cimadamore
Additional Tesla voice by: Peter Shukoff
"I see a universe of infinite energy!"
- Adaptational Badass: Nikola Tesla was a pretty cool guy in real life, but now he can shoot lightning from his hands!
- Badass Boast:
- "I sense a universe of infinite energy and no potential for threat from this enemy!"
- "You did not steal from me, you stole me FROM MANKIND!"
- Badass Bookworm: A nerd with lightning powers.
- Badass in a Nice Suit: Takes pride in being impeccably dressed.
- Born in the Wrong Century: He mentions that his brilliance is ahead of its own time.
- Celibate Eccentric Genius: Mad scientist, brilliant with electricity and never had sex.
- Dark Is Not Evil: His background is much darker than Edison's even though he's clearly the hero of the battle.
- Elemental Powers: This version of Tesla doesn't need a coil to shoot lightning.
- Hard Work Hardly Works: Edison mocks him for the trouble he spent doing menial jobs and struggling to make his inventions a reality.
- My Name Is Inigo Montoya: One of the lines in his rap is "You Can Call Me Tesla, Nikola".
- Russian Reversal: "You did not steal from me, you stole me FROM MANKIND!"
- Sharp-Dressed Man: Self-proclaimed; "impeccably dressed".
- Shock and Awe: Creates an entire lightning storm out of his hands.
- Vindicated by History: In-universe. He mentions becoming this.History is being rewritten
- Virgin-Shaming: Edison mocks him for his tendency to avoid sex.Edison: "You never had sex, but you sure got screwed by me!"
- You Fool!: Begins his second verse with this for Edison thinking that a blackout could stop him.
Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong
Lance Armstrong
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm the pinnacle of physical condition!"
- Badass Boast: Even by this series "I beat cancer, I can sure as hell crack you" stands out.
- Battle Strip: Starts off wearing a suit, which he rips off, revealing his cycling uniform underneath.
- Broken Pedestal: Accused of being this by Ruth because others put him on a pedestal when he was doping.
- Cheaters Never Prosper: Ruth points out that his doping essentially ruined him.
- Everyone Has Standards: He considers Babe Ruth setting records prior to black men being allowed to compete in baseball was akin to "having a pasta contest without Italy".
- Groin Attack: Babe mocks Armstrong for losing a testicle to cancer.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: He’s filled with rage throughout the entirety of the battle. Ruth proceeds to mock his temperament.Ruth: With all that blood and attitude, you're like a menstrual cyclist!
- Heroic Build: In contrast to the pudgy Ruth he calls himself the height of physical condition.
- Hypocrite: Yells at Babe Ruth for not training while he's under fire for taking steroids which is act that is far more unsportsmanlike than not training for a sport.
- I Did What I Had to Do: Claims he did what he had to do to win.
- Jerk Jock: He's pretty hostile towards Babe Ruth and even calls Oprah "a fat woman".
- Laser-Guided Karma: Proudly boasts about having doped to win at the start of the battle, only for Ruth to completely shred him for it in his second verse. Lance's face as Ruth goes off on him says it all.
- Pædo Hunt: Courtesy of Ruth, who accuses him of molesting one of the Olsen Twins, in reference to Armstrong having dated Ashley Olsen.Babe Ruth: Third base with an Olsen twin; that's the sin, face it!
She's just a little girl; what, did you give her a bracelet?
Babe Ruth
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"The Sultan of Swat will knock you right outta the park!"
- Beware the Nice Ones: Jovial, goofy, and has little respect for juicers.
- Berserk Button: He hates cheaters.
- Big Eater: Mentions food several times within the battle (for example, asking Lance to bring him some French fries) and Lance lists "choking down food" as one of his sins.
- Big Fun: Unaffected by his weight and Lance's attacks in regards to it; even asks him for some French Fries. Lance describes him as a Fat Bastard.
- Brilliant, but Lazy: Lance suggests that he could have done even better than he did if he had bothered to train.
- Boring Insult: He says that Armstrong is as boring as the Tour de France is to watch.
- Combat Compliment: Starts off by congratulating Lance on his physique and that he beat cancer. Then he goes to town on the guy.
- Eagle Land: He is reflective of the more flattering variety of the trope; big on sportsmanship, high personal confidence, and made a name for himself by his own merits.
- The Gift: Lance points out that he was great at his sport despite the fact that he never trained.
- Heartwarming Orphan: He found his way to fortune and fame.
- Iconic Outfit: His white uniform is well known and used by imitators.
- Lovable Jock: A baseball legend that's much more friendly and ethical than his opponent.
- Mr. Vice Guy: Lance lists them such as smoking, alcohol and gluttony.Lance Armstrong: I know French dudes with better manners than you!
- Motor Mouth: His second verse is very fast.
- Normal Fish in a Tiny Pond: Lance claims that he was only able to set all the records he did because black players weren't allowed to compete against him.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Points out how Lance is a "disgrace because he got lost and forgot what real sportsmanship was".
- Red Baron: Numerous, including The Sultan of Swat.
Mozart vs Skrillex
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"My music is two hundred years old, and it's still excellent!"
- Abusive Parents: His father was one, thus leading to his daddy issues below.
- Agent Peacock: He's a bit foppish, but still capable of some nasty burns.
- Badass Boast: "I ROCKED HARDER THAN YOU WHEN I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD!"
- Child Prodigy: In his youth he was already talented; see his boast (Hell, it's not the current page quote for this trope for nothing.)
- Early-Bird Cameo: Not physically, but his name was written on Santa Claus' naughty list five battles earlier.
- Elegant Classical Musician: In Skrillex's opinion this is inverted; his wooden instruments and classical style of dress make him look stupid.
- I Resemble That Remark!: After Skrillex claims that he has an unhealthy obsession with Toilet Humor, he makes two feces-based jokes about Skrillex's music.
- Kissing Cousins: Skrillex claims that Mozart and his cousin Maria Anna Thekla engaged in more than kissing.
- Large Ham: From his flamboyant demeanor to screaming his lines at Skrillex about how subpar his music is at the end.
- Starving Artist: Referenced by Skrillex in that Mozart died broke and worthless despite being a musical prodigy.
- Teeny Weenie: Skrillex claims he has a "little magic flute".
- Toilet Humor: Skrillex claims he's obsessed with poop jokes. Mozart makes no attempt to deny it, making two such jokes throughout the battle.
- Unexplained Accent: He speaks with a British accent, despite being Austrian and being played by an American.
- "Well Done, Son" Guy: Skrillex attacks him for his daddy issues, calling him a slave.
Skrillex
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"My name is Skrillex, man! Welcome to the Devil's Den!"
- 15 Minutes of Fame: Mozart predicts that Skrillex will become irrelevant in only two more months.
- As Himself: The real Skrillex appeared and rapped for half of his second verse, as part of YouTube's Big Live Comedy Show.
- Emo Teen: Mozart calls him an "emo Steve Urikel".
- Empathic Environment: Skrillex is unique in that his background is completely affected by the track.
- Hot-Blooded: Lots of shouting and aggression; even his background is agitated.
- Nerd Glasses: This is why Mozart calls him an 'emo Steve Urkel'.
- Nightmare Face: Briefly has one in his first verse when he says he's a "scary monster."
- The Pig-Pen: He apparently reeks of dead mouse.
- The Rock Star: In contrast to Mozart, he has a rougher musical aesthetic.
- Self-Made Man: Self-proclaimed, while he considers Mozart a Tyke-Bomb of sorts.
- Specs of Awesome: His glasses go well with his clothes and hair.
- Techno Wizard: His entire musical style is based around this, and the changes to the music and background when he's rapping reflect it.
- Watch It Stoned: Invoked; Mozart openly wonders what kind of drugs one would need to enjoy Skrillex's music.
Rasputin vs Stalin
Grigori Rasputin
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"Big dick mystic, known to hypnotize!"
- Actually Quite Catchy: If you watch him during Gorbachev's and Putin's verses, he's half-heartedly dancing to the beat.
- Almighty Janitor: Rasputin never held a position of power like his four opponents, but nevertheless still left a mark on history via his manipulations of the Czar's wife.
- Beard of Evil: His infamous long beard.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Rasputin belonged to a sect that believed sin was finite, so sinning in abundance meant others couldn't. Even he thinks Stalin's an unforgivable bastard.
- Gag Penis: Claims that he is a "big dick mystic", and Stalin makes reference to his "moose cock".
- Groin Attack: Stalin makes reference to the rumor that Rasputin was castrated upon death.
- Evil Sounds Deep: Goes hand in hand with the trope below.
- Evil Sounds Raspy: His voice is as raspy as it is deep.
- Hypnotic Eyes: His superpower according to legend and he threatens to use it to control Stalin's wife.
- Ignored Enemy: Becomes increasingly disregarded by his opponents as the battle goes on. Lenin throws a verse his way but otherwise focuses entirely on chewing out Stalin, Gorbachev gives him one line about needing a shower, and Putin pretty much ignores him completely.
- Kryptonite Factor: In reference to Stalin's Name to Run Away from Really Fast"If you're the Man of Steel, I spit Kryptonite."
- Kubrick Stare: That creepy stare is part of his 'creepy mystic' vibe.
- The Man Behind the Man: Points out that he controlled Czar Nicholas II by hypnotizing his wife, and threatens to do the same to Stalin.
- No Eye in Magic: Much of his performance is in the eyes, between Kubrick Stares and Death Glares, as befitting his character. However, when your opponent is Josef Stalin, even the infamous Evil Sorcerer is powerless.
- Not Even Bothering with the Accent: His voice is impressively deep, but aside from his first few lines, there's not a hint of an accent in there.
- The Pigpen: Gorbachev says he needs a shower.
- Rasputinian Death: Stalin says the "pickled moose cock" was getting off easy. It's also subverted — Stalin threatens to hang and shoot him in a trench before starving him to death, but otherwise it's not even referenced — because Rasputin didn't die that way, contrary to his legend.
- Religious Bruiser: Proudly mentions his status as a monk, and looks like he'd be more than happy to wring Stalin's neck.
- Villain Cred: Despite his low opinion of Stalin, he seems to find his rhymes good, as evident by his brief nod of approval at the end of Stalin's verse.
- Was It Really Worth It?: Basically, his thesis regarding the history of the Soviet Union, from the revolution against the Tsarist empire to the "union of ruinous states" it eventually became, thanks Stalin's dictatorial methods and We Have Reserves mentality.
- Wizard Beard: Naturally, being a hypno mystic he has the long beard for it.
- Your Mom: Refers to how he gained influence over Tsar Nicholas through Nicholas' wife, and threatens to do the same to Stalin.
Joseph Stalin
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch!"
- Abusive Parents: His father beat him like a dog, as Rasputin can attest to. He's also one himself, and makes no attempt to deny it.You think I give a fuck about my wife? My own son got locked up in prison, and I didn't save his life!
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Threatens to shoot Rasputin's family, friends, and pierogi sellers.
- Ax-Crazy: The way he goes on about how he'll kill Rasputin and anyone who had any sort of connection with him definitely paints him as unstable:I'll leave your neck in a noose in a trench and shot!
Your whole family, shot!
All your wizard friends, shot!Anyone who sold you pierogi, shot! - Badass Arm-Fold: Briefly adopts this pose during Rasputin's verse.
- Badass Boast:See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch!
Dropped a hammer on you harder than I bitch-slapped Hitler! - Card-Carrying Villain: Like Hitler, he enjoys his reputation as one of the most evil men to ever live.
- Commissar Cap: Wears one but he is, technically, a government clerk. He's still tough and commanding like the trope.
- Death Glare:"Look into my eyes you perverted witch."
- Denied Food as Punishment: Threatens to starve Rasputin till he wastes away, which was true in real life as well in the concentration camps.
- Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: Taunts Rasputin, the infamous hypnotist, with his eyes.
- Dirty Communists: The filthiest of them all. Even other communists (like Vladimir Lenin; see below) think he's dirty.
- Evil Cripple: Lenin points out he has a withered arm in the same breath as his betrayal.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Defied. He flat out denies this when he scoffs at Rasputin's boast that he can get at him through his wife and brags about not saving his own son's life. See Lack of Empathy below.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He hates Nazis, and is very proud of his role in defeating Hitler during WWII.
- Eyes Never Lie: Seems to believe this:"Look into my eyes you perverted witch.
See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch!" - Fate Worse than Death: He claims that the trope namer for Rasputinian Death got off easy, (we'll just assume that the writers are using the fictional account of Rasputin's death rather than the boring fact that he died immediately after being shot) and threatens to inflict a fate worse than death before moving on to killing everyone Rasputin ever knew, loved, or bought pierogies from.
- When Stalin said he would starve Rasputin until he wasted away, it's either as a preparation for the execution or as a contingency if Rasputin survived both the hanging and the shooting.
- Also probably a reference to the fact that Stalin starved many, many people, some as a strategy of genocide, some as a result of listening to the wrong scientists, and some as a method of execution.
- When Stalin said he would starve Rasputin until he wasted away, it's either as a preparation for the execution or as a contingency if Rasputin survived both the hanging and the shooting.
- Freudian Excuse: As Rasputin put it, "Your daddy beat you like a dog and now you're evil".
- Jerkass: He raps in a way that would indicate that his atrocities are something to be proud of.Stalin: You think I give a fuck about my wife? My own son got locked up in prison and I didn't save his life!
- Instantly Proven Wrong: Stalin boasts about being Lenin's pride, only for Lenin to show up immediately saying he has no pride for him.
- Lack of Empathy: He just doesn't care how many people died because of him. Even his family wasn't safe.
- A Pupil of Mine Until He Turned to Evil: Lenin's opinion of him. It sounds like Star Wars.Lenin: You let your heart grow dark, and stopped the greatest revolution since the birth of Marx!
- Perpetual Frowner: Frowns and snarls are his only expressions.
- Rank Scales with Asskicking: General Secretary of the Soviet Union.
- Red Right Hand: Lenin compares his withered loyalty to his right hand... which confuses Stalin, since it's his left arm that was stunted from a childhood accident.
- The Sociopath: He clearly feels no regret for his evil actions, even being proud of them.
- The Starscream: Lenin says he was supposed to be his right-hand man but he betrayed him.
- To the Pain: Threatens Rasputin hanging, shooting, starvation, and then laying in a trench. See Fate Worse than Death.
- Trrrilling Rrrs:"See the soul of the man who made MotheRRR RRRussia his bitch!""Anyone who sold you pieRRRogi, SHOT!"
- Unperson: His tendency to do this, specifically with Trotsky who he literally "took out of the picture", is mentioned.
- Witch with a Capital "B": Stalin calls Rasputin a "perverted witch," both in reference to the Mad Monk's supposed mysicism and because he needed an insult to rhyme with "bitch".
- You Can Keep Her!: Brags about refusing to save his son who was taken prisoner by the Nazis.
Vladimir Lenin
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I fought the bondage of classes!"
- Berserk Button: Lenin believes that Stalin's actions completely ruined the goals of the Russian Revolution and is extremely angry about it. In particular, Stalin calling himself "pride of Lenin" towards the end of his verse makes Lenin pissed enough to drop in.Stalin: Pride of Lenin took Trotsky out of the picture!Lenin drops in from above, full of righteous angerLenin: I have no pride for you who ruined everything my revolution was doing to stop the bourgeoisie!
- Deliberately Monochrome: Depicted in red and white, which he mentions during his rap.
- Dirty Communists: Lots of talk about fighting the bourgeoisie and such but compared to Stalin, he looks downright spotless.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Although he's certainly no angel himself, Lenin is completely disgusted by Stalin and believes he ruined everything the Russian Revolution was fought for.
- It's Personal: While he claims that he's there to beat both Rasputin and Stalin, he has a lot more to say to Stalin than he does Rasputin. The reasons for this should be obvious.
- Large Ham: Served Russian style; powerful and grim.
- Neutral in Name Only: He claims he's here to "spit a thesis against both of [Rasputin and Stalin's] asses", but he spends almost his whole verse attacking Stalin due to the personal history between them.
- No Indoor Voice: It's Lincolnesque in its volume.
- Non-Standard Character Design: has this red and white rotoscope effect that makes him look like an animated propaganda poster.
- Not Even Bothering with the Accent: Lenin just sounds like an angry Nice Peter.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: He is very pissed about how the Russian Revolution was ruined by Stalin. In fact, his first line is to debunk Stalin's "pride of Lenin" remark.
- One-Steve Limit: Averted - he isn't the only Vladimir to show up in his battle. See below.
- Speak of the Devil: He pops in after Stalin claims to be "The pride of Lenin" to refute that remark. It also sets a precedent for Gorbachev and Putin to find an excuse so they can get in on the action as well.
- Rank Scales with Asskicking: Premier of the Soviet Union.
- Trrrilling Rrrs:"You were supposed to be my RRRIGHT HAND MAN, but your loyalty shriveled up like your RRRIGHT HAND, MAN!"
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: In the rap he is presented as somebody who really did believe he was doing the right thing.
- We Used to Be Friends: Calls Stalin out for betraying his trust but it's an historical imprecision, as Lenin and Stalin never saw eye to eye, despite what Stalin's propaganda said.
Mikhail Gorbachev
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"Yo, I'm the host with the most glasnost!"
- Abusive Precursors: Claims that Russia was put on the road to ruin because of the faults of the previous leaders.
- Beware the Nice Ones: He opened up the Soviet Union, and a can of whoop-ass too.
- Beware the Silly Ones: He may seem like a goofball, but he's got great raps.
- Borrowed Catchphrase: "Tore down that wall like the Kool-Aid man, Oh yeah!"
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Not only did he tore down the Berlin Wall, he also broke the fourth wall talking to the audience as he introduces himself.
- Chummy Commies: Unlike Stalin and Lenin, he "shook hands with both Ronalds; Regean and Mcdonald".
- Distinguishing Mark: His birthmark. Was almost an "ERB" but it didn't work out.
- Dirty Communists: He is not presented as cruel like Stalin or even intense like Lenin, since he's much more mellow than them, here. He insists that he's one of the Chummy Commies instead.
- Fun Personified: Is the only one who looks like he's having a good time, is generally lighthearted and seems to have a permanent smile.
- Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: "Knock, knock, knock... did someone say 'birthmarks'?"note
- Knight of Cerebus: Inverted. His predecessors were still pretty silly, but they rapped about parental abuse, tyranny, murder, and betrayal. The darkest Gorbachev gets is blaming them for the Cold War.
- Lethal Joke Character: He seems like just a friendly, goofy guy at first, but he spits very hot raps.
- Nice Guy: Comparitively speaking, he's the contestant with the least skeletons in his closet. Most of his rhymes are good-natured and focused on his accomplishments instead of putting the other guys down.
- Odd Name Out: He's the only contestant in the battle that doesn't have an "in" attached to the end of his name (or nickname, in the case of Stalin and Lenin). He uses this to make a diss that hits all of his opponents (retroactively including the yet-to-enter Putin as well)."If your name end with "in", time to get out!"
- Perpetual Smiler: He's got a giant smirk on his face the whole time.
- Pet the Dog: References his reforms, attempts to open the Soviet Union and its people to the West and bringing down the Berlin Wall.
- Rank Scales with Asskicking: General Secretary of the Soviet Union.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Insists that he's the only one in the Russian Five to use authority on an even heel."You all need to learn how to handle real power!"
- Red Right Hand: Inverted. He has a birthmark on his forehead, but is the nicest of the Russian Five.
- Token Good Teammate: Plays himself up as this, claiming the others were too aggressive.
- Trrrilling Rrrs: "Shook hands with both Rrrronalds, Rrrreagan and McDonalds, no doubt!"
Vladimir Putin
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm a president in my prime. My enemies don't distract me."
- Badass Boast: A few."Did somebody say real power?""Doing judo moves and schooling every communist сука.""The last man who attacked me has a half-life so comrade, come at me!""You'll find the ex-KGB is the best MC in the ex-CCCP!"
- Big Entrance: He's introduced by his face on a jumboscreen that bursts to reveal him.
- The Comically Serious: His stone-faced mug adds some silliness to his verses.
- Genius Bruiser: Claims to be just as brainy as he is brawny.
- Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: Appears without warning to ask "Did somebody say real power?"
- Gratuitous Russian: Calling Stalin, Lenin, and Gorbachev "bitch" in Russian.
- Hat of Authority: A large, furry Ushanka that, combined with his shirtless chest, makes him look manlier than the other four.
- Hitler Cam: His appearance on the jumboscreen.
- It's All About Me: He never directly disses or even really addresses any of his opponents, spending his entire verse boasting about himself.
- One-Steve Limit: Averted - he isn't the only Vladimir to show up in his battle. See above.
- Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Starts somewhere vaguely Russian, ends up somewhere vaguely Sylvester Stallone.
- Rank Scales with Asskicking: Takes pride in his judo moves.
- The Stoic: Seems relatively calm for the most part and less expresses less emotion on his face than the others.
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "Doing judo moves and schooling every communist сука!!"
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Much like in his real life propaganda, he never wears a shirt.