History WhatAnIdiot / OneThousandWaysToDie

'''Instead:''' Mike seemingly forgets that and shoots himself at point-blank to demonstrate that the gun had blanks, accidentally committing suicide in front of his daughter. It turns out that while the blank was not harmful enough to kill him, [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome the blast force from the shot on its own did the job instead]].

The entire premise of ''[[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Series/OneThousandWaysToDie 1000 Ways To Die]]'' is that most of the death presented are caused by [[TooDumbToLive negligence, clumsiness, or stupidity.]] These deaths are just a fraction of the many, many examples this show has.

'''You'd Think:''' That the trainer would stay somewhere safe to not get burnt by the fart.\\

'''You'd Think:''' He would get the idea that something was wrong with him and step out for a bit or at least open the window for fresh air.\\

A Ukrainian immigrant hooks up with the Russian mob. After bumping off three men who owe debts to the mob, the immigrant's fingertips are burned off with sulfuric acid so he can't be identified by the cops. To celebrate his joining, the mobsters order a round of vodka.\\
'''You'd Expect:''' The mobsters would keep the vodka and the sulfuric acid in different-looking bottles, or at least label the containers so that they don't get the two liquids confused. [[note]]Both vodka and sulfuric acid are colorless liquids.[[/note]] Or do the "manicure" outside of the bar, or at least check their drinks before downing them.\\

'''Instead:''' He decides Michael is too good of a catch and tries to wait for the guard to leave. An hour later, the guard awakes and sees the cage open, prompting the thief to tranquilize the guard. However, this causes the guard to fall in front of the cage and shut it. As the thief tries to get the cage open, the tranquilization on Michael wears off, and Michael bites the thief, ripping out his trachea.

'''Instead:''' They leave the spike on the bell and put the arena right next to the ring. Soon enough, one wrestler (who to be fair, was a [[AssholeVictim violent cheater]]), ends up slipping, falling backwards, and impaling her skull on the spike. The announcer puts it best:

'''Instead:''' She decides to dip in the hot tub. When she becomes paralysed, she goes under and drowns.

A horny real estate agent is selling a house to a fellow nymphomaniac and they decide to start having fun.\\

'''Instead:''' He bribes the night nurse to take him out back for a smoke. The ash from his cigarette holds enough of a spark to ignite the highly flammable ointment his bandages are soaked in. Set ablaze, he rolls uncontrollably down the wheelchair ramp and at the bottom his oxygen tank explodes into a ball of fire, burning him to a crisp.\\
'''On Top Of That:''' The nurse had just told him, "Okay Mister Burns, you've got 2 minutes, don't do anything stupid."

'''Instead:''' He opened the door without asking, changing the pressure in the chamber and killing the poor woman inside. One can only hope that this moron was, at the very least, fired and charged with manslaughter.\\

'''You'd Think:''' The mobsters would keep the vodka and the sulfuric acid in different-looking bottles, or at least label the containers so that they don't get the two liquids confused. [[note]]Both vodka and sulfuric acid are colorless liquids.[[/note]] Or do the "manicure" outside of the bar, or at least check their drinks before downing them.\\
'''Instead:''' The two liquids are kept in identical containers with no labels, so the senile barkeep couldn't tell the difference between the vodka and the sulfuric acid, so the barkeep serves sulfuric acid to the two mobsters and the immigrant, resulting in all three of them dying from internal damage.

'''You'd Think:''' He'd keep the citric acid away from all the dangerous chemicals.\\
'''Instead:''' He places the citric acid right next to red phosphorus, an explosive substance in meth and fireworks. Eventually, during a meth-fueled rush, the addict dips the gum in red phosphorus and when he bites down on the gum, his jaws apply 120 lbs of pressure, igniting the red phosphorus, blowing his lower jaws off, and causing his brain to compress to the back of his skull, killing him.\\

'''You'd Think:''' He would first try to find out if it's a good idea, such as asking a toxicologist who would hopefully tell him that it's an awful idea. Or at least find a spider whose bite would be less poisonous.\\

'''You'd Think:''' He would put it on near the water or use it on a cooler day.\\

'''You'd Think:''' He'd take this as a sign from the man upstairs that it's high time he kicks the habit.\\

'''You'd Think:''' He'd have the presence of mind to ''ask if the chamber was occupied before opening the pressure door''.\\

'''Instead:''' They do it in the laundry room where any number of accidents could happen during coitus. They end up rocking the dryer so much that it unhooks, releasing natural gas and causing an explosion that kills them both.

'''You'd Expect:''' The stalker to lockpick the door or break a window. If she does decide to go down the chimney, she'll bring a rope, or at least her phone so she can call for rescue at the price of being charged with housebreaking. Or better yet, quit her stalking and get a therapist before she gets herself arrested or killed in some stupid way.\\
'''Instead:''' The stalker climbs down the chimney without a rope or phone and finds herself trapped. Unable to climb out or call for help, she dies a long and painful death from dehydration.

'''You'd Think:''' He would get the idea that something's wrong with him and come down.\\

'''You'd Think:''' He'll run out of the kitchen and probably close up shop. If he must confront the snake, he could try toppling a pot or something on it.\\

'''You'd Think:''' The father to chew on the poor octopus, or better yet, carve it.\\
'''Instead:''' The father swallows the octopus whole. The live octopus stays alive long enough to latch itself in the father's throat and choke him to death.

'''You'd Think:''' To call the hospital as fast as possible.\\

'''You'd Think:''' Everyone would immediately run out of the room as soon as they see the barrel smoking.\\

'''You'd Think:''' He'll take a quick look for any cars and sprint across the road.\\

'''You'd Think:''' He'll peek through the window, join his buddy in shooting the police or just stay put.\\

'''You'd Think:''' Assuming she is aware of her condition, she would at least try and live somewhere she wouldn't sleepwalk into trouble.\\

An expert bomb maker plots to rob a bank by making them think he had had a bomb forcefully strapped to his neck and he'll be killed if they don't give him the money.\\
'''You'd Expect:''' That he would remove the blasting cap from the C4. That way, it can't accidentally go off and the ploy would still remain credible. (The interviewee even said that C4 is totally harmless unless hooked to a blasting cap.)

'''Instead:''' To be authentic, he makes the bomb real. When the cops show up, the teller, scared for her life, flees to her car and her keyless entry system turned out to be on the same frequency as the bomb, blowing it up and taking his head off.

'''Also:''' That he would call out to see who's in the house first before reaching for his gun.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' He would remove the blasting cap (the interviewer even said C4 doesn't explode without a blasting cap) from the C4 that way it can't accidentally go off and the ploy would still remain its credibility, or even use a fake bomb that can't actually blow up.\\

'''Or At Least:''' If they don't remove that spike, to be sure the bell table isn't so close to the ring, perhaps in a corner somewhere.\\

In yet [[HistoryRepeats '''ANOTHER''']] example, a rich football star named Jerome hooks up with a jersey chaser named Cindy. They spend the night making love, but Jerome wakes up the next morning with no memory of it. Worried that a burglar might have entered his home, he reaches for one of his guns.\\

* ''Or....''
* '''B.'' Hire an exterminator and warn them to not go near the vegetable garden.\\

* ''A.'' Install rat traps in safe areas around the backyard.\\
* ''B.'' Hire an exterminator and warn them to not go near the vegetable garden.\\
'''Instead:''' He does neither. He instead sprays the garden himself with rat poison. He does this without ever informing the gardener or receiving her permission. Unsurprisingly, the woman continues eating the food, not knowing that it's been contaminated, and ultimately dies when the poison kills her blood stream. One can only hope that the dumbass landlord goes to jail for getting that poor woman killed.

In yet '''ANOTHER''' example, a rich football star named Jerome hooks up with a jersey chaser named Cindy. They spend the night making love, but Jerome wakes up the next morning with no memory of it. Worried that a burglar might have entered his home, he reaches for one of his guns.\\

'''The Result:''' Predictably, the heat ignites the powder in the bullet and causes it to discharge, [[BoomHeadshot killing Cindy with a bullet to the head.]] Not only did an innocent woman die, but Jerome's life and career are almost definitely ruined since he'll likely go to jail for involuntary manslaughter. The Narrator said it best: ''[[WhatWereYouThinking Jerome, why the hell did you put a gun in the oven!?]]''

Most deaths are caused by stupidity, but these ones take the cake.

'''Instead:''' The stalker climbs down the chimney without a rope or phone and finds herself trapped. Unable to climb out or call for help, she has a long and painful death from dehydration, the only silver lining being one last scare for the couple.

A French man with an interest in lizards and bugs decides to try and [[AcquiredPoisonImmunity build an immunity to black widow spider venom]] by letting one bite him.\\
'''You'd Think:''' He would first try to find out if it's a good idea, such as asking an toxicologist who would hopefully tell him that it's an awful idea. Or at least find a spider that whose bite would be less poisonous.\\

'''Also:''' That episode was all sorts of FridgeLogic: why didn't the chamber have an intercom, window or some sort of signal light or sign to indicate when it was being occupied, and why exactly did the maintenance man open the door? Curiosity? Or did he have a legitimate reason to go into the chamber? As for the maintenance man opening it without asking, the occupant was presumably screaming out loud to warn him of what he was doing and the chamber was either soundproofed or so sound-shielded that he couldn't make out her words and thought someone was stuck in there and trying to free them, which again brings up another question of why there wasn't a speaker/intercom hooked up to the outside.

a trainer try and prepare the fraternity student for a fart competition. After feeding him several cans of beans and other stuff, he decides to test him out.\\

'''Instead:''' After lightning the fire up, he stands right behind the student in order to test the fart power. Predictably, the fart sets the trainer on fire and kills him in seconds.

A cruel man named Mark is abusive towards his girlfriend, Julie, and one month later, she dumps him for a nicer man. Mark finds out about Julie through a friend and drives to the restaurant where Julie is with her new boyfriend. Being too much of a coward to confront them, he decides to pelt them with paintballs and drive off. He backs up his car to hide, but begins to feel lightheaded because he backed up his car into a garbage heap, therefore, trapping the carbon monoxide exhaust in the car.\\
'''You'd Think:''' He would get the idea that something's wrong with him and step out for a bit or at least open the window for fresh air.\\

'''Also:''' He even kept a can of soda near a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, [[BaitAndSwitch which he nearly drank earlier but spitted out before he could swallow]].

A CuteAndPsycho woman stalks her ex-boyfriend and his wife, popping up outside and putting fish in their mailbox. When they go on a week long holiday, she decides it'll be hilarious to sneak in.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' The assistant to reveal or threaten to reveal the affair to his wife or his bosses. If she really wants to screw him over, she can carefully dispose or contaminate the chemicals, swap them in a way that would backfire on him or file a harassment complaint.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' The thief to grab Michael and flee while the guard is asleep. If it's too risky, he can just bite the bullet, leave Michael and sneak away.\\
'''Instead:''' He decides Michael is a too good of a catch and tries to wait for the guard to leave. An hour later, the guard awakes and sees the cage open, prompting the thief to tranquilize the guard. However, this causes the guard to fall in front of the cage and shut it. As the thief tries to get the cage open, the tranquilization on Michael wears off, and Michael bites the thief, ripping out his trachea.

A drug smuggler comes up with the innovative plan to smuggle LSD by soaking a shirt in it to get past airport security.\\

'''Instead:''' He wears the shirt as he boards the plane and starts tripping when the LSD soaks into his body as he sweats. Not only does he make a scene and alert airport security, he dies on the spot from an overdose.

'''Instead:''' He stays up in the oak tree with tens of thousands of pollen particles and ends up with an allergy-induced vertigo.\\
'''As A Result:''' When his former boss comes out of the building, he misses the shot, falls out of the tree, and dies of a paralysis resulting from the compression of his cervical spinal cord.

'''You'd Expect:''' That the people running this thing would think to remove or cork that spike to prevent it from hurting someone, since the fighters are obviously not always on stable footing.\\

A housewife pays a shady doctor for a botox injection. Soon after, she starts getting massive headaches.\\

'''Instead:''' She chooses to live in a house that is ''on a dock near the water''. Sure enough, one night she sleepwalks right off the pier, falls into the water and drowns before she can fully come to her senses.

'''You'd Expect:''' That Mike, being a war veteran, to remember from his training that blanks can still cause injury or death, and fire the gun at the wall or ceiling to prove it has no bullets.\\

'''Instead:''' He opened the door without asking, changing the pressure in the chamber and killing the poor woman inside. One can only hope that this moron was, at the very least, fired.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' That Mike, being a war veteran, to remember from his training that blanks can still cause injury or death, and just apologise for the prank or fire it at the wall or ceiling to prove it has no bullets.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' The assistant to reveal or threaten to reveal the affair to his wife or his bosses. If she really wants to sabotage, she can carefully dispose or contaminate the chemicals, or even swap them in a way that would backfire on him.\\

A ticket scalper has his cover blown and is approached by angry customers.

'''Or At Least:''' If they don't remove that spike, to be sure the bell table isn't so close to the ring.\\
'''Instead:''' They leave the spike on the bell and put the arena right next to the ring. Soon enough, one wrestler (who to be fair, was a [[AssholeVictim huge bitch]] who was just then gouging out her opponent's eyes), ends up slipping, falling backwards, and impaling her skull on the spike. The announcer puts it best:

A chef at an underground criminal restaurant serving endangered species learns that the King Cobra has escaped and is now hissing at him on the ground.

A housewife pays a shady doctor for a botox injection. Soon after, she starts getting massive headaches.

'''You'd Think:''' The mobsters would keep the vodka and the sulfuric acid in different-looking bottles, or at least label the containers so that they don't get the two liquids confused. [[note]]Both vodka and sulfuric acid are colorless liquids.[[/note]] Or do the "manicure" outside of the bar.\\

A lab assistant has a fling with her married boss. He breaks it off soon after, leaving her heartbroken and furious.
'''You'd Expect:''' The assistant to reveal or threaten to reveal the affair to his wife or his bosses. If she really wants to sabotage, she can carefully dispose or contaminate the chemicals, or even swap them in a way that would backfire on him.

A lab assistant has a fling with her married boss, who immediately breaks it off, leaving her heartbroken.
'''You'd Expect:''' The assistant to reveal or threaten to reveal the affair to his wife.\\
'''Instead:''' The assistant throws a tantrum and starts smashing the lab and throwing things around. The only reason she doesn't get fired is because she gets herself killed in a lab accident.