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[-Do not try KlatchianCoffee™ if you are pregnant, are going to become pregnant, suffer from high-blood pressure or suffer from any heart conditions. Ask your doctor before trying KlatchianCoffee™. TropeCo/TropeCo® cannot be be held responsible for every Tom, Dick and Harry who tries out products without reading the warning label and suffers from any medical emergencies related to KlatchianCoffee™. In fact, we might just sue you for libel should any health problems arrive from taking our KlatchianCoffee™. Your ass will be grass and your family will be indentured servants to TropeCo/TropeCo® for the next five generations. Ironically, they'll spend the rest of their lives harvesting coffee-beans used to make more KlatchianCoffee™.-]
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[-Do not try KlatchianCoffee™ if you are pregnant, are going to become pregnant, are emotionally attached to keeping your liver, suffer from high-blood pressure or suffer from any heart conditions. Ask your doctor before trying KlatchianCoffee™. TropeCo/TropeCo® cannot be be held responsible for every Tom, Dick and Harry who tries out products without reading the warning label and suffers from any medical emergencies related to KlatchianCoffee™. In fact, we might just sue you for libel should any health problems arrive from taking our KlatchianCoffee™. Your ass will be grass and your family will be indentured servants to TropeCo/TropeCo® for the next five generations. Ironically, they'll spend the rest of their lives harvesting coffee-beans used to make more KlatchianCoffee™.-]
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[[quoteright:250:[[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/250px_redbonk.png]]]]
[[caption-width-right:250:It comes in a can, a bottle and a drum designed to house the most potent of radioactive isotopes.]]
If you MustHaveCaffeine, TropeCo/TropeCo® can provide.
KlatchianCoffee™.
With beans from Turkey and hastily brewed on the request of Music/ZiltoidTheOmniscient, KlatchianCoffee™ will kick your ass and keep you up for weeks at a time. Containing 50,000% of your daily-dose of artificial sweetness and distilled coffee extract that only ScienceFiction could accomplish, KlatchianCoffee™ supercharges the neurons in your brains, removing your need -- and the ability -- to sleep from between 1-to-5 weeks straight.
KlatchianCoffee™: When regular TropeCo/{{Coffee}}™ just won't cut it for you anymore.
[-Do not try KlatchianCoffee™ if you are pregnant, are going to become pregnant, suffer from high-blood pressure or suffer from any heart conditions. Ask your doctor before trying KlatchianCoffee™. TropeCo/TropeCo® cannot be be held responsible for every Tom, Dick and Harry who tries out products without reading the warning label and suffers from any medical emergencies related to KlatchianCoffee™. In fact, we might just sue you for libel should any health problems arrive from taking our KlatchianCoffee™. Your ass will be grass and your family will be indentured servants to TropeCo/TropeCo® for the next five generations. Ironically, they'll spend the rest of their lives harvesting coffee-beans used to make more KlatchianCoffee™.-]
[[caption-width-right:250:It comes in a can, a bottle and a drum designed to house the most potent of radioactive isotopes.]]
If you MustHaveCaffeine, TropeCo/TropeCo® can provide.
KlatchianCoffee™.
With beans from Turkey and hastily brewed on the request of Music/ZiltoidTheOmniscient, KlatchianCoffee™ will kick your ass and keep you up for weeks at a time. Containing 50,000% of your daily-dose of artificial sweetness and distilled coffee extract that only ScienceFiction could accomplish, KlatchianCoffee™ supercharges the neurons in your brains, removing your need -- and the ability -- to sleep from between 1-to-5 weeks straight.
KlatchianCoffee™: When regular TropeCo/{{Coffee}}™ just won't cut it for you anymore.
[-Do not try KlatchianCoffee™ if you are pregnant, are going to become pregnant, suffer from high-blood pressure or suffer from any heart conditions. Ask your doctor before trying KlatchianCoffee™. TropeCo/TropeCo® cannot be be held responsible for every Tom, Dick and Harry who tries out products without reading the warning label and suffers from any medical emergencies related to KlatchianCoffee™. In fact, we might just sue you for libel should any health problems arrive from taking our KlatchianCoffee™. Your ass will be grass and your family will be indentured servants to TropeCo/TropeCo® for the next five generations. Ironically, they'll spend the rest of their lives harvesting coffee-beans used to make more KlatchianCoffee™.-]
