History TheReasonYouSuckSpeech / WebOriginal

* One ''Website/FourChan'' [[https://i.imgur.com/TSUcJEl.png post]] depicts [[ComicBook/SpiderMan J. Jonah Jameson]] giving one to ComicBook/{{Venom}} after he tells him Spider-Man's secret identity.
-->'''Venom:''' JAMESON. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME. PETER PARKER IS SPIDER-MAN.\\

* Similarly, someone on 4chan also depicted [[WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill Dale Gribble]] delivering one to John Redcorn for sleeping with his wife, [[https://66.media.tumblr.com/77ae8ed8b175837e26009cdcc54ba57d/299b371f16190aae-11/s500x750/e50582af41e9ac6985682d54fdf76accad3d3eb7.jpg though not to his face]]:
-->'''Dale:''' She cheated?\\
[[WhamLine Hank, I knew about Nancy and John Redcorn.]] I knew about them the day [[ChocolateBaby Joseph]] was born. But every day since he was born [[ObfuscatingStupidity I've been taking my revenge.]]\\
That boy -- [[GoodParents he loves me, Hank. He loves me.]]\\
John Redcorn will never get. He'll never hear his boy tell him that.\\
Joseph will go to his GRAVE loving me and never so much as looking in Redcorn's direction. His children, his grandchildren--they'll love me too Hank. And they'll never know Redcorn even existed.\\
That's revenge, Hank.\\
[[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Just like when the former Soviet Union resurrected Lenin to cause the housing crisis in America as revenge]].

* Yet another [[https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1862639-metroid 4chan post]] depicts [[Franchise/{{Metroid}} Samus Aran]] giving one to Adam Malkovich over the events of ''VideoGame/MetroidOtherM'':
-->'''Adam:''' [[CatchphraseInterruptus Any objections, la]]--\\
'''Samus:''' Yes, actually. Several. First of all, [[WhamLine I haven't forgiven you for the time you shot me in the back.]] Oh, you thought I forgot about that, didn't you? How could I? Getting shot in the back by someone I foolishly considered a surrogate father is one hell of a betrayal.\\
And remind me, why'd you do that again? Oh, that's right, because you didn't want me to kill those Metroids you and the boys in Sector Zero had been cooking up. One of the most dangerous creatures in the galaxy and the Federation has been mass-producing them as weapons. As if that worked out well for the Pirates. Not to mention how hypocritical it was of the Feds to [[VideoGame/MetroidIIReturnOfSamus send me to exterminate the Metroids in the first place]], only to turn around and make some for themselves, for reasons I still can't quite fathom. That's not the Federation I fought for.\\
Come to think of it, the whole "Bottle Ship" fiasco ([[WhoWritesThisCrap seriously, who names a ship that]]) was the biggest snafu of my career as a bounty hunter. [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot And I could've resolved it a lot faster]] [[BagOfSpilling if you had just let me use my full arsenal from the start.]] "Perfect military mind," my ass.\\
When [[VideoGame/MetroidFusion the Federation declared me an outlaw for stopping their Metroid production line yet again]], I realized something: seeing you as anything more as an abusive, controlling, arrogant moron was the greatest mistake I've ever made. And that's considering the fact that I let my PTSD relapse when I encountered Ridley aboard the Bottle Ship for some goddamn reason. [[SenselessSacrifice Even in death]], you just couldn't let me do my [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] job. I hope you're burning in hell right now, Adam. I really do. I'm going to enjoy erasing [[BrainUploading you]] from the ship's memory banks.\\
Oh, and one more thing? [[EmbarrassingNickname Stop calling me "lady".]]

* Another ''Website/FourChan'' [[https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/138/786/be5.png post]] has someone criticizing ''VideoGame/{{Undertale}}'', despite admitting to having never played it, merely because other users of the board have voiced negative comments about it. He even goes as far as to claim you're 'asking for trouble' by praising the game. He gets met with a scathing reply bashing against [[Main/YesMan users who blindly agree with others rather than forming their own opinion.]] Thanks to the reaction image used, it's usually known as "the day [[Franchise/TheMuppets Kermit]] went [[UnstoppableRage nuclear]]"
--> What the fuck do you mean "asking for trouble"? It's a video game. On a board for video games. Are we supposed to just shit on it because some other people did? Are you afraid to tell people in real life of your interests because you're afraid they won't like them? Do you pretend that you hate stuff that other people do?
--> I don't know where we fucking went so wrong as to make absolute fucking cowards like you - who parrot every shitpost they see - welcome on this board. You echo every criticism you notice on this website without any knowledge of its source content so you can feel like you fit in the /v/ "le epic pessimist mindset" because you're certainly not going to get the satisfaction of community and friendship out of real life, you worthless fucking nobody.
--> I hate you. I hate everything you represent in this day and age on this board in which shitposting hivemind have replaced actual debate. I hate that you are incapable of forming your own opinion. I hate that genuinely good games now have a bad reputation on this site because of fucking morons like you.
--> I'll be waiting for your response, but considering that 3 people disagree with you now, I guess you would be [[Main/IronicEcho "asking for trouble",]] you fucking prick.
** Thanks to similar typing styles and the same reaction image being used, it's believed the same poster was responsible for the [[https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/275/442/244.jpg following furious rant]] in response to someone being upset that ''Videogame/SuperSmashBrosMelee'' was not granted a Sunday spot in the 2017 EVO tournament, insulting every other game that did in the process; a rant targeted not just at the poster, but at the ''Melee'' fanbase as a whole.
--->[[green:>Why does this game that's had some of the best top 8 action of any series at EVO get a Sunday slot?]]\\
[[green:>I'd much rather watch Armada, Hungrybox, Mango, [=Mew2King=] and some random assortment of [=Plup/Westballz/(insert top 12 player here)=] fight for the 20th tournament in a row]]\\
This is why your game isn't on on Sunday. It's basically a solved game at this point. Forget about age, forget about muh displays, forget about your obnoxious fucking fanbase for five seconds and think about how utterly stale Melee is. You can claim the game is growing all you want, but there is zero variation in the part of the community that actually plays the game. There are a handful of good players left while the scrubs fight for scraps at the bottom of the battle. There is no Spark who played a mid-to-low character in [[Videogame/BlazBlueContinuumShift Continuum Shift]] and pulls the tournament out from underneath everyone's nose. There is no Gamerbee from Thailand [[Videogame/StreetFighterV playing a character nobody gave a shit about and slaying veterans left and right]]. There is no Noah, a literal child that was [[Videogame/MarvelVsCapcom3 able to win games]] by abusing the shit out of SuperArmor.\\
Melee has no progression. Top 4 is all but guaranteed and the only reason it wouldn't be is if you put all four on the same side of the bracket for some reason. We can only [watch] the same four people fight so many times before it gets stale. You have more people watching and sitting in the crowd booing games that aren't yours, but nobody's actually playing at a level that's acceptable for competition. Melee is past that point. The complexity of the game has caught up to it, you can't possibly match a decade of experience and muscle memory, it's just never going to happen. So nobody new is playing the game, and the gap between the top 10 players and everyone else is huge, and there's no online scene to speak of. There are more new people SHITPOSTING ABOUT MELEE than actually putting time into the game.\\
Eat shit, but considering you're defending Melee you probably already do.

* "WebVideo/SgtFrogAbridged":

* [[https://www.youtube.com/@SallowDawn Sallow Dawn]], one of many people heckled by WebVideo/LowTierGod, who tried to get Dawn fired from his job with false racism charges, gives a little speech to Dale after [=YouTube=] finally banned his channel. It's unclear why [=YouTube=] finally decided to ban him, but Dawn thinks that [[LaserGuidedKarma years of bullying and doxing innocent people finally caught up to him]].

'''Dick Richards:''' The MCU churns out multi-billion dollar '''movies'''! [[Film/AvengersEndgame Endgame]] alone has made a third of your entire box office! ''(cue more money falling on Dick's head)'' Endgame has made ''half'' of your entire box office! And you wanna talk about household names? You guys had some of the most popular characters of all time and you royally screwed the pooch with them! Meanwhile, all the MCU had was Marvel's leftovers, and we made them into [[Main/CashCowFranchise gold-shitting machines!]] I mean, we made a talking f*cking [[Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2014 raccoon]] into a household name, for Christ's sake! [[Main/WhamLine We don't]] ''[[WhamLine need]]'' [[WhamLine you!]]

--->'''Squidward:''' (''[[TranquilFury Inhales calmly]]'') Listen, sir. Your points are indeed valid. [[FreudianExcuseIsNoExcuse But that does not give you an excuse to humiliate me in my place of work]]. Yes, [[AtLeastIAdmitIt I am a cynical grouch who has lashed out at the world needlessly]], but I have ''never'' used obscanities with my customers. I will admit, I was rude, but to say that nobody in Bikini Bottom likes me is a '''''BOLD''''' claim. As for everyone liking Spongebob, speak for yourself. I know I don't like him, [[BadBoss Mr. Krabs barely cares about him]], and do you know why most people actually avoid him? Because as optimistic and kind as he is, [[StalkerWithoutACrush he is horribly and annoyingly obsessive with his neighbors]], [[UnwittingInstigatorOfDoom he has caused more havoc to this town than natural disasters]], and let's just say [[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS8E16RestrainingSpongeBobFiasco I couldn't have gotten a restraining order against him, which he has ignored]], without a ''valid'' reason. [[HypocriteHasAPoint If this kind of attitude is the one you have at your own place of work, then you really gotta practice what you preach]]. So, if I can finally ask you... Would you like some fries with that?

---->'''Android 16:''' Gohan. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Grow. Up.]] You act like [[ItsAllAboutMe you are the only one suffering]]. But I believe that [[TraumaCongaLine Trunks]] has some stories for you. And I can assume they all end with "[[EverybodysDeadDave And then he died too]]". And before you start whining about your [[ParentalNeglect father]], again, [[NotSoDifferentRemark and I get it]], take a moment to consider that [[MadScientist my father]] made me a soulless killing machine to kill your father. And that doesn't even come close to the complete tragedy of fatherhood that is [[AbusiveParents Vegeta]]. [...] [[VillainHasAPoint Cell was right]]. [[BrutalHonesty You think you're better than everyone else.]] But there you stand, the good man doing nothing. But while evil triumphs, [[SuicidalPacifism and your rigid pacifism]] crumbles into blood-stained ''dust'', [[DoomedMoralVictor the only victory afforded to you is that you stuck true to your guns]]. You are a coward. To your last whimper. Of fear and love, I fear not that I will die, but that all I have come to love, [[FriendToAllLivingThings the birds]], [[TrueCompanions and the things that are not birds]], will perish with me. So please... Gohan... [[DareToBeBadass Stop holding back.]]

--->[[green:>Why does this game that's had some of the best top 8 action of any series at EVO get a Sunday slot?]]
--->[[green:>I'd much rather watch Armada, Hungrybox, Mango, [=Mew2King=] and some random assortment of [=Plup/Westballz/(insert top 12 player here)=] fight for the 20th tournament in a row]]
--->This is why your game isn't on on Sunday. It's basically a solved game at this point. Forget about age, forget about muh displays, forget about your obnoxious fucking fanbase for five seconds and think about how utterly stale Melee is. You can claim the game is growing all you want, but there is zero variation in the part of the community that actually plays the game. There are a handful of good players left while the scrubs fight for scraps at the bottom of the battle. There is no Spark who played a mid-to-low character in [[Videogame/BlazBlueContinuumShift Continuum Shift]] and pulls the tournament out from underneath everyone's nose. There is no Gamerbee from Thailand [[Videogame/StreetFighterV playing a character nobody gave a shit about and slaying veterans left and right]]. There is no Noah, a literal child that was [[Videogame/MarvelVsCapcom3 able to win games]] by abusing the shit out of SuperArmor.
--->Melee has no progression. Top 4 is all but guaranteed and the only reason it wouldn't be is if you put all four on the same side of the bracket for some reason. We can only [watch] the same four people fight so many times before it gets stale. You have more people watching and sitting in the crowd booing games that aren't yours, but nobody's actually playing at a level that's acceptable for competition. Melee is past that point. The complexity of the game has caught up to it, you can't possibly match a decade of experience and muscle memory, it's just never going to happen. So nobody new is playing the game, and the gap between the top 10 players and everyone else is huge, and there's no online scene to speak of. There are more new people SHITPOSTING ABOUT MELEE than actually putting time into the game.
--->Eat shit, but considering you're defending Melee you probably already do.
* ''WebVideo/DreamSMP'':
** Wilbur delivers a particularly ''brutal'' one to Tommy as he goes to duel Technoblade in the Pit, lining out that Tommy can never be president because of his [[HotBlooded emotions]] [[TheMcCoy ruling over]] [[RevengeBeforeReason his better judgement]], in comparison to Tubbo who is more thoughtful. And the worst part is ''he isn't entirely wrong''.
--> '''Tubbo:''' I'm not an advocate of violence. I believe everyone should get along.\\
'''Wilbur:''' I mean, that's very mature of you Tubbo, that's very mature. I'm sure- unfortunately, Tubbo, Tommy isn't as mature. You see, that's why he can't be President. [[HotBlooded He's too- he follows his emotions too strongly. He gets too angry at things.]] He doesn't- look at him, look at him, even after [[EasilyForgiven you said that you've forgiven Technoblade,]] he's still gone into the Pit to fight him in hand-to-hand combat. This is a man driven by his emotions, not by political goals. Look at him. I say Tommy throws the first punch. I wanna- I wanna see this.
** [[CallingTheOldManOut Fundy gives Wilbur one right back]] posthumously, yelling at Ghostbur for running away from his problems and avoiding any negative discussion because he can't handle the consequences of his actions, as well as treating Fundy like a child and never respecting his autonomy.
** Tubbo [[BewareTheNiceOnes out of all people]] gives one off to Tommy right after deciding to go along with Dream's request to exile him, after tiring of being bound to Tommy's obsession of his discs, pulling L'Manburg into greater and greater dangers. [[CycleOfRevenge He does so mainly in refusal of yet another plan of establishing another conflict with Dream.]]
** After Dream tricks Tubbo into giving him the disc, he gives one to Tubbo about how terrible a president he has been and how weak L'Manburg was under him.
--> '''Dream:''' Well, uh, thank you for giving me the disc. I just wanna say that you're an idiot. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis You. Are. An. Absolute.]] ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Idiot.]]'' You have ''no'' power and you are the ''worst'' President that has ever been elected- you're no President ''at all''! You're not even President! ''Quackity'' is more President than you. ''I'm'' more President of L'Manburg than you! You listen to -- you get pushed around by ''everybody'' on the server! Because YOU. ARE. AN IDIOT. You are a ''buffoon''! You are a fool! You fall for ''everything''! '''''You just gave me the ONE thing I needed to DESTROY L'Manburg!''''' I don't ''CARE'' about the L'Manburg, I don't care about ''anything''! I've ''said'' this before! The only reason I did not ''destroy'' L'Manburg is because you had the disc! ... ''Ranboo'' is a traitor! One of your most trusted advisors is a traitor! You can't even run your ''own'' nation right, Tubbo! L'Manburg is weaker than it's ever been, and it's ''because of you''!
** Tommy gives a brutal one to Dream while he's trapped with him in Dream's prison cell, calling him out on how he abused and gaslighted Tommy and his generally [[ManipulativeBastard manipulative]] and [[LackOfEmpathy callous]] nature.
-->'''Tommy:''' I know why I'm in here. This is... This isn't worse than exile. ''(laughs)'' This isn't worse than the exile... Because the thing is, in exile, I thought you had all the power. I thought you were fucking dangling me like a little fuckin' ''puppet'', man, and even though in here it's small, and I'm fucking -- ''what was that sound?!'' -- and I'm [[{{Claustrophobia}} claustrophobic]], and I ''hate'' this... Here's the thing, here's the thing, Dream, here's the thing I KNOW. ''({{Beat}}, deep breath)'' [...] The revive-book, Dream... It's not real, is it? It's not fuckin' real. 'Cause all you do- All you do that I- [[BigShutUp SHUT THE FUCK UP]] -- What I remember from exile, is that all you do is ''lie'' to me. And then you UNVEIL this BIG THING in this FINALE, that all the fuckin'- when we go down into your pit, here's what you tell me, you tell me "Oh, oh, I was actually fuckin'... It was ''me'' that reorganized your beach party, it was ''me'' that blew up the community house!" You are a ''clinical'' manipulator, a- a ''psychopath'' if you will. [...] You're a liar, and really, through your Netherite armour and skin, I look at you, and you know what I see? I see a sad little man, who's insecure about the fact that this server has gotten ''so far'' ahead of him, and his ''only'' little ''glimpse'' of power in this world is ''gone.'' I see an insecure, ''sad'' little man. Alright? So ''fuck off.''

** After enduring several millennia of being tortured by the [[RealityWarper reality warping]] and [[MindScrew bizarre]] [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3999 SCP-3999]], Researcher Talloran chews it out during an interview log and vows to put an end to its nonsense:

-->'''Barack Obama:''' Mr. Speaker. Mr. ''Bbbbbb~''. Members of ''Caaaaaaa~''. And fellow Poopers. Tonight, we meet at an urgent time. Millions have watched {{YouTube Poop}}s and have spent months making their own, including many who are sitting here tonight. ''[cuts to view of "other Poopers"]'' They've seen the dick jokes too often. We continue to face [=YouTub=]e Poopers like [=CS188=] that have made things [[PrecisionFStrike fucking worse]]. ''[audience claps]'' There are censored privates all across his work. Everything in here is the kind of shit that has been supported by young people with small dicks. ''[more clapping]'' Everyone knows CS can't actually sentence mix. Dinner Warrior did the sentence mixing for everything in this video. So, for those who everyone who speaks so passionately about CS as the leader who saved {{YouTube Poop}}: ''shut up''. [=CS188=] is fucking overrated. ''[more clapping]'' More people have followed the example he set, making sex jokes and sentence mixing [=YouTube=] Poops. It's an outrage. We need to stop this right now. I want to see Poops with more ''EAR RAPE'' and random fucking shit flying back and forth. If you do the right thing, you can make it--everyone can make [=KevinTAckerman=]'s Top Ten {{YouTube Poop}}s of the Month. ''ALL'' of us will have to change the way we do Pooping. The only solution-lution-lution-lution is to let this crisis as an excuse [[DisproportionateRetribution to wipe out China!]]

* [[https://archive.org/details/videoplayback_20210823_2052 No dude, you said "sodium chloride"]], an upload of the mementic [[Memes/TheAdventuresOfJimmyNeutronBoyGenius "It's sodium cloride"]] redubbed to have Skeet giving one to Jimmy Neutron over his {{insufferable|Genius}} attitude.

'''Skeet:''' Actually dude, it's salt.\\

** [[https://youtu.be/QgQ9iQo05f0 In a later video by the same YouTuber,]] Skeet points out that Jimmy's use of scientific terminology was inaccurate since edible salt is not ''pure'' sodium chloride.

* ''WebVideo/ArbyNTheChief'' became very fond of throwing these around [[ArtShift around the start of Season 5]]. So much so that it would require it's own page just to do so. Arbiter, Chief, and the villains would mostly dish them out to one another. One example includes Arbiter dishing one out to Master Chief in Season 6 for just how much he has devolved in emotional growth, only for Chief to [[TakeThat return the favor by pointing out all of Arbiter's flaws as well.]]

'''Pollo:''' Hrmm. It is always fascinating to hear individuals attempt to justify their actions. [[MultiversalConqueror Lord Vyce]] conquered and enslaved countless individuals because "he had to". [[RoboticPsychopath My doppelganger]] from a parallel universe [[FantasticRacism slaughtered who he thought was inferior]] because he thought it was for the best that [[FinalSolution organic beings be culled]]. Even [[EldritchAbomination the Entity]] felt it was better that all existence become a part of it. In many ways I have more respect for Doctor Insano; [[CardCarryingVillain he holds no delusions]] [[AtLeastIAdmitIt about who he is or what he wants]]. You have stolen the property of others and afflicted much harm onto them, and yet you seem to feel that Linkara was more wrong for retaliating.\\

* In the web-exclusive ''Toys/{{Bionicle}}'' story ''The Kingdom'', AlternateUniverse Matoro gives one to Alternate Makuta, after the latter consumed him but failed to suppress his mind. The speech gave Matoro enough strength and weakened Makuta so much that his mind actually succeeded in ''killing'' both of them.

* Adam delivers one to Rowan, who is a MeanBoss after Rowan asks Adam if he wants a coffee, only to go out and buy himself one without buying Adam one as he originally thought in [[https://youtu.be/PNoH85RFapc this episode]] of the Viva La Dirt League' web series, ''Bored''. It's a well overdue speech. [[spoiler: Too bad it's all in Adam's head.]]

'''Rowan:''' ''(geniunely rendered speechless for a moment)'' Heh... ''(steps closer to Adam, clearly trying to restablish dominance)'' Okay, I'm gonna ask you one more time. What did you ''(bleep)''ing say to me?\\

* The second half of olawoolo's video [[https://youtu.be/3o9sJMzBPWo?si=SZLHaHOaAEKGQhhP&t=597 "These Demons Must Be Stopped Part 2"]] is an abridged recap of ''[[Manga/DemonSlayerKimetsuNoYaiba Demon Slayer: Mugen Train's]]'' final battle. Akaza offers Flame Hashira Kyojuro Rengoku the chance to become a demon. Rengoku refuses, and in a deviation from canon, tries to needle his foe with an insult. The Upper Three is having none of it, and proceeds to verbally rip his family a new one.

* Prominent YouTubePoop maker Creator/EmperorLemon, notable for making numerous [=YTPs=] based off of various Creator/{{Pixar}} movies (such as WebAnimation/TheFryingNemoSaga) eventually announced that he was going to move on from making poops based on Pixar movies and make shorter non-Pixar related [=YTPs=]. Regardless, his fans kept bugging him about making more Pixar poops, even after he opened an [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk-eefwJ8AQ update video by reiterating that he wanted to move on from making these videos]], at which point he outright stated that if they couldn't deal with him not making any further Pixar videos, they could unsubscribe from him and quit watching. Regardless, his fanbase continued to badger him about it on every video he uploaded. This came to a head after ''WesternAnimation/FindingDory'' came out, resulting in the fanbase clamoring for a sequel to the beloved ''Frying Nemo'' saga, even with the movie still being in theaters at the time and not legally obtainable. Finally, Emperor Lemon decided he had had enough and proceeded to upload a video entitled "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCWKSUhy3oE Frying Dory]]" which was ''not'' actually a [=YouTube=] Poop, but a six minute long version of this trope; [[TakeThatAudience starting with a montage of comments]] clamoring for a ''Finding Dory'' YTP from every one of his recent videos and ending with Emperor Lemon [[RageBreakingPoint finally exploding]] and personally delivering one himself to his fanbase:
--> '''Creator/EmperorLemon:''' (''passively'') ''Hooo boy'', [[SarcasmMode I have such loving and supportive fans]]...but there's just one small thing you need to know about ''Frying Dory'', and that's that '''''[[SuddenlyShouting THE FUCKING MOVIE ISN'T OUT ON DVD YET YOU GODDAMN MENTALLY-HANDICAPPED IDIOTS!!]] DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW THIS SHIT WORKS?! EVEN IF I WANTED TO MAKE FRYING DORY, WHICH I DON'T BY THE WAY, I COULDN'T MAKE IT BECAUSE I CAN'T ACQUIRE THE ACTUAL SOURCE MATERIAL. THESE VIDEOS DON'T JUST SPAWN INTO EXISTENCE BY SHEER FUCKING FORCE OF WILL. BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE ASKING ME TO MAKE FRYING DORY. IT'S NOT LIKE I SAID I WOULDN'T MAKE IT IN AN UPDATE VIDEO. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk-eefwJ8AQ EXCEPT I TOTALLY DID!!]] [[SarcasmMode OOOPS!!!]] I GUESS YOU COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO WATCH IT BECAUSE IT'S NOT A FUCKING PIXAR POOP! OH WELL, I GUESS THAT'S MY FAULT, TOO. BUT I GUESS THAT NOW THAT I HAVE YOU WATCHING''''' '''THIS''' '''''UPDATE VIDEO, YOU CAN FINALLY''''' '''LISTEN''' '''''TO ME TO TELL YOU TO UNSUBSCRIBE ONE HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE TIMES! HEY? [[IronicEcho CAN YOU UNSUBSCRIBE?! CAN YOU UNSUBSCRIBE!? CAN YOU UNSUBSCRIBE?!?]]'''''\\
(''cut to his Twitter handle, which reads "@FUCK OFF" instead of his actual twitter handle'')
* An [[https://youtu.be/QeNdC8hVIT0 episode]] of ''WebVideo/EpicNPCMan'' features the titular character breaking character in a most intimidating way, while delivering one to a player for constantly skipping the dialogue that he tries to say.

-->'''Tom:''' Hey, Squidward? [[PrecisionFStrike Shut the fuck up.]] I don’t know what your problem is, man. I have thirty minutes for lunch, and I’m spending them here, alright? There’s no one behind me in line, so what if I took an extra ten seconds to order? Who cares, man? You really are something else, you know that? You lash out at people, and why? [[SoulSuckingRetailJob Because you hate your job?]] News flash, asshole, everyone hates their job! I work at the grocery store! [[FreudianExcuseIsNoExcuse I have to deal with bullshit all the time too, but I don’t act like a sarcastic prick with customers!]] You know, Squidward, this town [[HatedByAll does not like you,]] and it’s not because you’re some kind ofmisunderstood artist, o-or genius, or [[AllOfTheOtherReindeer we just don’t get you;]] it’s because you’re mean, alright? Look at Spongebob, he works in front of a hot grill all day, but [[NiceToTheWaiter we all like him,]] and you know why? [[AllLovingHero Because he’s nice. He says hello to us.]] Look, man, I don’t want to be [[UnsatisfiableCustomer this type of customer,]] you know? I don’t like to start fights with folks, but, like, you can’t do that, alright? And I’m not going to call out Mr. Krabs or anything; I just want to get my food and go. [[SincerityMode Please learn from this, alright? Thank you.]]

-->...And lastly your scumbag coach, and I mean pure scumbag. Brian Kelly killing a student. In 2010, Brian Kelly was having practice outside amid 50 to 60 mile an hour winds gusts. Kelly, despite having access to an indoor practice facility insisted that practice be outside because he despised indoor practice. Declan Sullivan, a twenty-year-old student at Notre Dame, despite numerous warnings and multiple tweets from Declan himself about the wind conditions, was sent up 50-foot scissor lift to film practice by Kelly. In this painfully ominous tweet Declan again remarks about the conditions. Less than an hour later, the lift blew over, killing the young man. Practice continued for twenty-five minutes after this incident. I don't get how this is repeatedly glossed over like it didn't happen. Brian Kelly is a piece of shit. Scissor lifts aren't even supposed to be lifted in twenty-five miles an hour winds. There were numerous warnings and Brian Kelly ignored them all. He might as well have put a gun to that kid's head and shot him. I hope you're triggered by that. Think if that was your son, your brother, your friend. If Declan was mine, Brian Kelly and his fat face would be breathing today. What do you expect from a piece of shit scumbag who ran out of Cincinnati like a carpetbagger headed west?

* In the online horror series ''WebVideo/MarbleHornets'', the protagonist--Jay--documents his entire life as it spins out of control through the influence of [[Franchise/TheSlenderManMythos the Slender Man.]] This is all well and good, except for the fact that everyone Jay seems to film on his quest for answers [[DoomMagnet ends up having something horrible happen to them.]] In the end, one of these people, [[spoiler: Tim, a mentally unbalanced man whose life has been hell for years as he battled split personalities]] can take it no longer, accusing Jay of ruining his life just as he was [[YankTheDogsChain finally starting to recover]] with [[spoiler: therapy and medication.]] Finally, [[spoiler: Tim]] accuses Jay of not having any plan besides "film everything, find answers and then see what happens." [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLbp-1NjZsM It's a truly brutal speech,]] and the worst part is that [[JerkassHasAPoint he's absolutely right.]]

** He gives himself one in the [[https://youtu.be/KAYuWvrn1xU eighth]] episode of his ''VideoGame/{{Minecraft}}'' series, after he struggles to find new additions to the Nether Realm after a game update. Particularly amusing since all he had to do to find these additions was explore more of the Nether, but he didn't want to do this.

And remind me, why'd you do that again? Oh, that's right, because you didn't want me to kill those Metroids you and the boys in Sector Zero had been cooking up. One of the most dangerous creatures in the galaxy and the Federation has been mass producing them as weapons. As if that worked out well for the Pirates. Not to mention how hypocritical it was of the Feds to [[VideoGame/MetroidIIReturnOfSamus send me to exterminate the Metroids in the first place]], only to turn around and make some for themselves, for reasons I still can't quite fathom. That's not the Federation I fought for.\\

** Applebloom calmly and politely points out how incompetent as parents, a couple her and the rest of the CMC were hired help are in Season six episode nineteen (Not even counting that they go to twelve year olds for parenting advice):

'''Applebloom:''' Oh, I don't know, I mean I'm an orphan myself, so what do I know. Right? But generally I get this impression that when people have kids, they sometimes you know, talk to them. Like hay child I gave birth to, what's going on with you? Got any hobbies? Crazy as it sounds, some of these people-their called parents by the way-um, actually do this on a regular bases, so when the child say, I don't know goes through some kind of personal right of passage, that essentially determines what she's going to be doing for the rest of her life, they can be like; "Oh hay, props on being good at that thing that you like, we totally know about." Now I'm not knocking you guys or anything, I'm sure you've got lots of dinner parties, wine tastings, and school reunions to go to and I mean priorities, right? But do you recall ever having a passing conversation with your daughter, that didn't revolve around who's taking care of her for the evening?\\

** DWK also gives one to Trixie, after she [[DirtyCoward immediately start acting like a coward and begging for Twilight's help]], when told they are in danger, after muttering how much she ''hates'' Twi, during "To Where and Back Again", after finding out about the changelings.
--->'''DWK:''' Oh, Trixie, you talk such a big game and act like such a badass; but when shit gets real, you scream like a little girl and toss away your last shred of dignity like a used prophylatic. No wonder [[DrivenToSuicide you wanted to kill yourself after having one fight with Starlight]]. You literally have nothing else.

'''Twilight:''' Bro, these kids right here are more mature than you are. Listen up you dumb whore, becoming an adult is not about a number. It doesn't magically happen when you reach a certain age. It happens when you stop being a selfish tool and realize there are more important things in this world than your stupid little feelings. I'm fucking terrified about being a princess, but I'm just going to fucking do it, because the world doesn't revolve around my emotions.

'''NC:''' ''(standing up)'' No. They're ''not'' just simple kids' books. They're stories that we are continuing to read even today. They're stories that we remember years later, even when other stories fade from our memory. They're stories we will never forget, and for good reason. They're stories that helped shape our childhoods, through well thought-out writing, imaginative drawings, and endearing morals. And the idea of ''this''... shaping somebody's childhood, the fact that it even has the ''same name''... just makes me sick to my stomach. Maybe these ''(makes AirQuotes)'' "simple kids' books" are far more adult than you give them credit for. And I guarantee that'll show, when years later, both children and adults will still be reading these "simple kids books" while pandering bullshit like this disappears out of people's consciousness, also for good reason. Good art doesn't come from focus groups and statistics. It comes from people who share how they see things in their own unique way.\\

'''NC:''' Nobody! Because nobody would ever want to see you! When people ask monks what the meaning of life they say, "Stay away from your dumb ass!" You're Beethoven's Lost Symphony, "Death to Joy"! Would everyone in an orange sweater, glasses, brown hair and a likable personality please raise your hand?\\

--> Wings, you're not charismatic. I know you think you are. You think people like you? People don't fucking like you. Nobody likes you. An entire fucking industry has spawned hating on [=WingsOfRedemption=]. [=WingsOfRedemption=] is ''exactly'' like a NASCAR driver that crashes every weekend and thinks that people come out because of his driving skills. No Wings! People aren't watching you because you're good at gaming. People aren't watching you because you're charismatic. People are watching you because [[BileFascination it is a new and fascinating thing]] for them to see a fucking 32-year-old, going-on-500-pounds failure-to-launch manbaby crying about dying in videogames then [[NeverMyFault deflecting it as if it's someone else's fault]]. I don't know anyone else like that! [=WingsOfRedemption=] is unique in his loserdom! [[EpicFail There is no one else that has achieved this level of failure-to-launch]], but who could fucking launch when they weight that much anyway? Wings, keep my name out of your mouth you fat piece of shit. I don't know if you're a moron because of a genetic deficiency or is it some sort of emotional retardation like, maybe if you were adopted, then you wouldn't have turned out like this. It's hard to say. But what is true is that you live in a goddamn trailer with your mommy talking about how I'm not charismatic. Rage some more [=WingsOfRedemption=]. Show me more about how what... You say people don't know how wonderful you are? That's right, [[JerkAss cause you're not wonderful]]. You are just a manbaby who cries on stream. And that's why people watch.

'''Popculturebuffet:''' [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor Okay Daisy, you want to recap]], you insufferable, pompus, selfish, self-absorbed, overly-demanding, overly-haughty, golddigging rose-colored shrew? [[LetsGetDangerous Let’s fucking recap]]. He left you in a bad part of town because he got ''fired'' from his job and found out his house burned down, something you ''refused'' to let him explain. You found out about this and then proceded to berate him over dinner, saying he couldn’t possibly help people. While he did spend a while in the bathroom with a hula skirt and never explained it, [[JerkassHasAPoint the one point you have]]... he ''left'' to go help his friends, with you, once again, leaving instead of letting him come back and explain later, or leaving but going to his place to hash this out or just dump him. ''Then'', something you ''carefully'' omitted, you moved on. Which is fine... as a way to make him jealous, [[OperationJealousy bringing the guy to his door to rub his beak in your new relationship with not a hint of shame]], and ran off while he was fighting for his life clearly. Now seeing things were more complicated, you asked ''no'' follow-up questions, imposed a date on him, and while he ''did'' lie, your nieces WERE NOT FUCKING BRAINWASHED. This was of their own free will, you unbelievable she-demon! You are so up your own ass, you can’t even see the obvious. [[KickTheDog And then you came here]] ''[[KickTheDog just]]'' [[KickTheDog to say all this and be mean to Donald one more time]]. While Donald shouldn’t have called you up, it’s not because of all that; it’s because [[FetishizedAbuser you're a heartless, selfish, shriveled husk of a person]]. You care about ''no one'' but yourself, and [[WhatDoesHeSeeInHer that includes Donald]]. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

--->'''Chef Pee Pee:''' And from the bottom of my heart, I've been wanting to say to all of you... '''F*CK YOU! F*CK YOU! F*CK YOU! F*CK EVERYBODY! F*CK ALL OF YOU!''' ''(unleashes a bunch of f-bombs)'' F*cks given to everybody! You can have a f*ck! You can have a f*ck! You can have a f*ck! You can a have a f*ck! Look, this is the reason why I say F*ck you, OK?\\

* ''WebVideo/TomGrossiComedy'': Tom often gives these out to opposing teams in his fan reactions to show the frustration many fans of NFL teams have with how poorly their team are run as an organization. He also does this with his own fan-made characters, such as once in [[https://youtu.be/CgWBHSC5rsk?list=PLpfKWYL55S9EybNKZMB-X-K3uyGB0gcSH The NFC West's Reaction to Week 5]], when Jerry, a 49ers fan, demands respect from Eugene, a Cardinals fan, and the latter responds to him in a calm yet scathing manner:

* ''Turtles' [=ERTLs=]'': In the rewrite of "James Works it Out", James and S.C. Ruffey exchange these kind of speeches about each other, as well as Hector when the latter tries to lead James in the right direction.

Yep, that's it! It's quiet obvious this team didn't learn from last year's embarrassing loss in the playoffs[[note]]the previous season several Steelers players were openly discussing how they were looking forward to facing the New England Patriots in the AFC Championship Game while their Divisional Round game hadn't even been played yet, overlooking the Jacksonville Jaguars (the Steelers' opponent for that round) and implicitly dismissing them -- the Jaguars notched the upset 45-42[[/note]], so it's time for me to go harder! Excuse me, I need to grind my ax!\\

I'm tired of talking about Mike Tomlin[[note]]Steelers head coach since 2007[[/note]]. It's the same goddamn shit '''every fucking year''' with this guy! Horrible clock management, the painfully cliche press conferences, the lack of controlling the insatiable egos on the team, his pathetic play-call challenges, the inability to hold people accountable for their actions, hideously playing down to ''vastly'' inferior competition on nearly '''every fucking occasion'''. Once again, when it happens repeatedly it's not a fluke, it's what we call a ''trend''. Players and coordinators keep changing. What hasn't? The head coach! I used to think the calls for his head were ridiculous, but this season proved how incompetent he truly is! Look at the excuses he brought up! ''A fucking x-ray machine?!'' '''That's''' your excuse for leaving one of your best weapons on the sideline?![[note]] In the loss to a 2-10 Raiders team, Mike Tomlin was criticized for waiting to put in Ben Roethlisberger when he was shown to be relatively uninjured. His excuse for that was...not well-received.[[/note]] No big deal, they just need to raid Le'Veon's locker, it's "theraputic", and nothing will be done because that's how most locker rooms act! [[Main/SarcasmMode Keep pretending you have the high road and ignore the drama, it's really doing this team some good!]] This is a goddamn circus and Mike is the ringmaster! The standard is the standard, you know! The time has come for heads to roll and it needs to start with Tomlin! But that's just a pipe dream! After all, Joey Porter[[note]] former Steelers linebacker-turned-assistant coach who kept his job despite being arrested multiple times[[/note]] is still here.\\

--> '''Dick Richards:''' Alright, I was trying to do this the nice way but I guess I'll have to spell it out for you dumb-dumbs. In the face of the [[CashCowFranchise unstoppable juggernaut]] that is the MCU, you are nothing. The only reason you have a movie franchise in the first place was because of the goodwill created by the [[WesternAnimation/XMenTheAnimatedSeries 90's cartoon show]]. The last time you guys were relevant, [[Website/MySpace MySpace]] was a thing. Out of [[Film/XMenFilmSeries 12 films]], you only managed to create 3-and-a-half good ones. That's a lower ratio than [[Characters/MarvelComicsCyclops Scott's]] screentime in [[Film/XMenTheLastStand X-Men 3]].\\

'''Dick Richards:''' The MCU churns out multi-billion dollar '''movies'''! [[Film/AvengersEndgame Endgame]] alone has made a third of your entire box office! ''(cue more money falling on Dick's head)'' Endgame has made ''half'' of your entire box office! And you wanna talk about household names? You guys had some of the most popular characters of all time and you royally screwed the pooch with them! Meanwhile, all the MCU had was Marvel's leftovers, and we made them into [[Main/CashCowFranchise gold-shitting machines!]] I mean, we made a talking f*cking [[Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2014 racoon]] into a household name for Christ's sake! [[Main/WhamLine We don't]] ''[[WhamLine need]]'' [[WhamLine you!]]

'''Doctor Venus''' ''(to Dr. Macabre)'' Cobb, like I said, [[TheFriendNobodyLikes Nobody Likes You]]. And it's not just that snotty attitude of yours, though God knows that doesn't help. Cobb, TheSyndicate is a bunch of professional crooks, thieves, spies, assassins and mad scientists- AND YOU'RE STILL A FUCKING EMBARRASSMENT! The rest of us do horrible, illegal things... but YOU? You experiment on KIDS! I get a lot of grief for what I do to my stud-muffins, but at least I give them a fucking choice! They volunteer for what I do to them. You? You grab kids off the street and shove them literally kicking and screaming into that Monster Chamber of yours! You turn them into fucking monsters! That's sick, Cobb, SICK!\\\
'''Eldritch:''' ''(to [[PhysicalGod Imperious]])'' “Lesson one, know your opponent’s weaknesses.” Caitlin stepped the last yard and slammed her fist at Imperious’ chest. He managed to deflect the impact to his shoulder and rocked back. It hurt worse than a shot from Kodiak. Caitlin’s attack wasn’t stronger, but her attack had overtones of actual, serious hand to hand training and intent to cause massive bodily harm.

-->'''Barack Obama:''' Mr. Speaker. Mr. ''Bbbbbb~''. Members of ''Caaaaaaa~''. And fellow Poopers. Tonight, we meet at an urgent time. Millions have watched {{YouTube Poop}}s and have spent months making their own, including many who are sitting here tonight. ''[cuts to view of "other Poopers"]'' They've seen the dick jokes too often. We continue to face [=YouTub=]e Poopers like [=CS188=] that have made things [[PrecisionFStrike fucking worse]]. ''[audience claps]'' There are censored privates all across his work. Everything in here is the kind of shit that has been supported by young people with small dicks. ''[more clapping]'' Everyone knowns CS can't actually sentence mix. Dinner Warrior did the sentence mixing for everything in this video. So, for those who everyone who speaks so passionately about CS as the leader who saved {{YouTube Poop}}: ''shut up''. [=CS188=] is fucking overrated. ''[more clapping]'' More people have followed the example he set, making sex jokes and sentence mixing [=YouTube=] Poops. It's an outrage. We need to stop this right now. I want to see Poops with more ''EAR RAPE'' and random fucking shit flying back and forth. If you do the right thing, you can make it--everyone can make [=KevinTAckerman=]'s Top Ten {{YouTube Poop}}s of the Month. ''ALL'' of us will have to change the way we do Pooping. The only solution-lution-lution-lution is to let this crisis as an excuse [[DisproportionateRetribution to wipe out China!]]

-->'''Jim Sterling:''' [[FullNameUltimatum Gilson B. Pontes]], I do not have time for sad, oversensitive little boys who do not like to be challenged. You are not an autuer. You are not a genius. [[SmallNameBigEgo You compare yourself to Orson Welles in the IMDB page you wrote for yourself]], you ''sad. Little. Man.'' Do not bother me again. Do not [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] with my life again. You have been shown so much fucking mercy already--the fact I haven't gone after you harder than I should, than I really, really should, is something you need to count your blessings for. Okay? So don't do it again. Naughty boy. Filthy little boy. Urchin. In your bed, no porridge for you. Thank god for me! Say your prayers. [[{{Metaphorgotten}} Like that, then you go to bed, you've got a nightshirt on, and one of those little hats, little floppy ones, little poffle like that, like I'm sending you to bed, right]].

-->'''Jim Sterling''': He's a punchline with basic coding ability. He's so wrong that even a lot of people who ''hate me'' think he's acted like a buffoon. He managed to tank his own company while the man he blamed for everything wasn't even talking about him, and he's been left humiliated and mocked for throwing a years-long temper tantrum that culminated in several embarassing messes of legal documentaion, and a dismissal with prejudice that actually adds a little admonishing point about how he needs to consider Fair Use if he ever wants to take down my shit again, and this ''creature'' thinks I spend my time conspiring to ruin him?! James , mate, I wouldn't conspire to have a food truck bring you a bad sandwich. There is nothing I can do to you, you haven't done to yourself. And more than anything else, at this stage...I pity you. I truly...fucking...pity...you. So James, I gotta ask: is it fair to call ''The Slaughtering Grounds'' an absolute failure '''''now'''''?

-->'''Tom:''' Hey, Squidward? [[PrecisionFStrike Shut the fuck up.]] I don’t know what your problem is, man. I have thirty minutes for lunch, and I’m spending them here, alright? There’s no one behind me in line, so what if I took an extra ten seconds to order? Who cares, man? You really are something else, you know that? You lash out at people, and why? [[SoulSuckingRetailJob Because you hate your job?]] News flash, asshole, everyone hates their job! I work at the grocery store! [[FreudianExcuseIsNoExcuse I have to deal with bullshit all the time too, but I don’t act like a sarcastic prick with customers!]] You know, Squidward, this town [[HatedByAll does not like you,]] and it’s not because you’re some kind of [[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible misunderstood artist,]] o-or genius, or [[AllOfTheOtherReindeer we just don’t get you;]] it’s because you’re mean, alright? Look at Spongebob, he works in front of a hot grill all day, but [[NiceToTheWaiter we all like him,]] and you know why? [[AllLovingHero Because he’s nice. He says hello to us.]] Look, man, I don’t want to be [[UnsatisfiableCustomer this type of customer,]] you know? I don’t like to start fights with folks, but, like, you can’t do that, alright? And I’m not going to call out Mr. Krabs or anything; I just want to get my food and go. [[SincerityMode Please learn from this, alright? Thank you.]]

--->'''Chef Pee Pee:''' I hate you, I hate you because you're an annoying little brat! All you do is come in the kitchen, bother me, while I'm cooking, and then you bring the toys in there like I wanna play with you, but I'm ''not'' a child! I don't have time for that! I have to wash dishes! And all you do is make messes in the kitchen!" ''[6 hours later]'' "And the reason I hate you the most Junior? Is because ''you exist!'' Would not—why would God even create a little bastard like you?! Please tell me -- in this beautiful universe he could create anything else! But it's OK, I'mma take you out of this universe. Any last words Junior?

** Dr. Vera Hadley gives her asshole ex and thorough monster of a Director, Elliot Emerson, a piece of her mind about what he's been doing in [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1730 Site-13]].