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** Another episode was a ClipShow where Sophia said this about the girls:
--->'''Sophia:''' This house has seen more bad singing, bad dancing and bad acting than a Suzanne Somers special!
** When Blanche was defending herself to a reporter that she didn't sleep with a local candidate in "Strange Bedfellows":
--->'''Blanche:''' And I will take every lie detector test known to man, say it in front of 10 judges and swear on a stack of bibles that it is not true! ''(hangs up phone)'' There. Now does that sound like a person who would be lying to you?
--->'''Dorothy:''' ''(angrily)'' No, that sounded like Jim and Tammy Faye [Bakker] on ''Nightline!''
--->'''Sophia:''' This house has seen more bad singing, bad dancing and bad acting than a Suzanne Somers special!
** When Blanche was defending herself to a reporter that she didn't sleep with a local candidate in "Strange Bedfellows":
--->'''Blanche:''' And I will take every lie detector test known to man, say it in front of 10 judges and swear on a stack of bibles that it is not true! ''(hangs up phone)'' There. Now does that sound like a person who would be lying to you?
--->'''Dorothy:''' ''(angrily)'' No, that sounded like Jim and Tammy Faye [Bakker] on ''Nightline!''
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Changed line(s) 79 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Sophia:''' He's coming onto her like gangbusters, and I don't like it! I'm not sure what I meant by gangbusters: I've seen ''Film/Ghostbusters1984'' and I didn't like that, either; they couldn't give [[Creator/ErnieHudson the Black guy]] one funny line? Hey, and what about [[Film/GhostbustersII that sequel?]] ''({{Beat}})'' What the hell were we talking about again?
to:
--->'''Sophia:''' He's coming onto her like gangbusters, and I don't like it! I'm not sure what I meant by gangbusters: Not that I've actually ''seen'' ''Gangbusters''. But I have seen ''Film/Ghostbusters1984'' [[Film/Ghostbusters1984 ''Ghostbusters'']] and I didn't like that, either; they couldn't give [[Creator/ErnieHudson the Black guy]] one funny line? Hey, and what about [[Film/GhostbustersII that sequel?]] ''({{Beat}})'' What the hell were we talking about again?
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Changed line(s) 76,77 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Sophia''': Anything? (points away) A viable Democrat for president. Go!
-->*Jake runs to the lanai, with Rose running after him*
-->*Jake runs to the lanai, with Rose running after him*
to:
** An episode where Stan is trying to woo Dorothy has this rant by Sophia:
--->'''Sophia:''' He's coming onto her like gangbusters, and I don't like it! I'm not sure what I meant by gangbusters: I've seen ''Film/Ghostbusters1984'' and I didn't like that, either; they couldn't give [[Creator/ErnieHudson the Black guy]] one funny line? Hey, and what about [[Film/GhostbustersII that sequel?]] ''({{Beat}})'' What the hell were we talking about again?
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** That time Blanche decided to become a romance novelist and came close to having a mental breakdown due to lack of sleep.
--->'''Blanche:''' This is why Hollywood won't get my novel either. I will not have my words coming out of [[Creator/GlennClose Glenn Close's]] mouth; I'd rather die!
--->'''Blanche:''' This is why Hollywood won't get my novel either. I will not have my words coming out of [[Creator/GlennClose Glenn Close's]] mouth; I'd rather die!
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** And yet another, from "Yokel Hero", after Rose learns she has been nominated for St. Olaf's Woman of the Year.
--->'''Rose:''' I never dreamed that someone as unqualified as I am would be nominated for something so important!\\
'''Dorothy:''' I guess Dan Quayle really opened the floodgates.
--->'''Rose:''' I never dreamed that someone as unqualified as I am would be nominated for something so important!\\
'''Dorothy:''' I guess Dan Quayle really opened the floodgates.
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---> '''Dorothy:''' I'm really sorry. I promise I'll chant "Hail Mary" until {{Music/Madonna}} has a hit movie.
to:
---> '''Dorothy:''' I'm really sorry. I promise I'll chant I will say "Hail Mary" Marys" until {{Music/Madonna}} has a hit movie.
Changed line(s) 52 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Blanche:''' My hair is still its natural hue.\\
to:
--->'''Blanche:''' My And my hair is still its natural hue.\\
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** The network that aired ''Designing Women'' wasn't exempt either. From "Charlie's Buddy", after Rose announces she wants to move in with Buddy without marrying him:
--->'''Sophia:''' Two World Wars, a Polish pope, and now this. I may live to see Creator/{{CBS}} come up with a morning show yet.
--->'''Sophia:''' Two World Wars, a Polish pope, and now this. I may live to see Creator/{{CBS}} come up with a morning show yet.
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Changed line(s) 20 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Sophia''': Did something happen to Regis Philbin?
to:
--->'''Sophia''': Did something happen to Regis Philbin?Creator/RegisPhilbin?
Changed line(s) 35 (click to see context) from:
** Gary Hart, a Colorado Senator and Democratic Presidential frontrunner whose campaign was torpedoed in 1987 amidst allegations that he'd had an extramarital affair, was the butt of several jokes in Season 3.
to:
** Gary Hart, a Colorado Senator and Democratic Presidential frontrunner front-runner whose campaign was torpedoed in 1987 amidst allegations that he'd had an extramarital affair, was the butt of several jokes in Season 3.
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** When Rose claims Jake the rescue dog can find anything:
-->'''Sophia''': Anything? (points away) A viable Democrat for president. Go!
-->*Jake runs to the lanai, with Rose running after him*
-->'''Sophia''': Anything? (points away) A viable Democrat for president. Go!
-->*Jake runs to the lanai, with Rose running after him*
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** Another shot at Dan Quayle, while Rose tells the fable of Toonder the Tiger:
--->'''Rose:''' Anyway, it made Toonder's wife miserable that her husband was best known for being mediocre.
--->'''Blanche:''' I understand Marilyn Quayle feels the same way!
--->'''Rose:''' Anyway, it made Toonder's wife miserable that her husband was best known for being mediocre.
--->'''Blanche:''' I understand Marilyn Quayle feels the same way!
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** The first ChristmasEpisode has this gem when Dorothy is trying to hurry Rose up from her shift at the Grief Center so they won't miss their flights:
--->'''Rose:''' Just a minute, Dorothy. This man has some ''real'' problems. ''(whispering)'' He was one of the principal financial backers for ''Film/HowardTheDuck''.
--->'''Rose:''' Just a minute, Dorothy. This man has some ''real'' problems. ''(whispering)'' He was one of the principal financial backers for ''Film/HowardTheDuck''.
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Changed line(s) 45,46 (click to see context) from:
'''Rose:''' Oh, good. So [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeHWBush President Bush]] isn't married to his mother.
** Another gem by Sophia:
** Another gem by Sophia:
to:
'''Rose:''' Oh, good. So [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeHWBush President George Bush]] isn't married to his mother.
** Another gem bySophia:Sophia from "Three on a Couch":
** Another gem by
** Another one from the episode:
--->'''Blanche:''' My hair is still its natural hue.\\
'''Dorothy:''' Sure, Blanche; yours and [[Creator/LucilleBall Lucy's!]]
--->'''Blanche:''' My hair is still its natural hue.\\
'''Dorothy:''' Sure, Blanche; yours and [[Creator/LucilleBall Lucy's!]]
Changed line(s) 59 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Sophia:''' Doctors. They go to medical school for 20 years and yet still don't know enough to warm their hands before doing a breast exam!
to:
--->'''Sophia:''' Doctors. They go to medical school for 20 years and yet still don't know enough to warm their hands before doing a breast exam!exam!
----
----
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Changed line(s) 51 (click to see context) from:
'''Sophia:''' No, for me. I always drink wine during cooking contests and ''Series/MySisterSam''.
to:
'''Sophia:''' No, for me. I always drink wine during cooking contests and ''Series/MySisterSam''.''My Sister Sam''.
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Changed line(s) 51,52 (click to see context) from:
'''Sophia:''' No, for me. I always drink wine during cooking contests and
''Series/MySisterSam''.
''Series/MySisterSam''.
to:
'''Sophia:''' No, for me. I always drink wine during cooking contests and
and ''Series/MySisterSam''.
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Changed line(s) 48 (click to see context) from:
** From "Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself" (this joke was later cut from the syndicated reruns, possibly out of respect for the show's murdered star, Rebecca Schaeffer):
to:
** From "Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself" (this joke was later cut from the syndicated reruns, possibly out of respect for the show's murdered star, Rebecca Schaeffer): Itself":
Changed line(s) 51 (click to see context) from:
'''Sophia:''' No, for me. I always drink wine during cooking contests and ''Series/MySisterSam''.
to:
'''Sophia:''' No, for me. I always drink wine during cooking contests and ''Series/MySisterSam''.and
''Series/MySisterSam''.
*** This joke (and the entire scene containing it) was cut from the syndicated reruns, possibly out of respect for Rebecca Schaeffer, the star of ''My Sister Sam'' who was murdered by a stalker in 1989.
''Series/MySisterSam''.
*** This joke (and the entire scene containing it) was cut from the syndicated reruns, possibly out of respect for Rebecca Schaeffer, the star of ''My Sister Sam'' who was murdered by a stalker in 1989.
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--->'''Dorothy:''' Whatever you're thinking, Rose, it isn't true.\\
to:
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** From "Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself" (this joke was later cut from the syndicated reruns, possibly out of respect for the show's murdered star, Rebecca Schaeffer):
--->'''Sophia:''' ''[on her way to a cooking contest]'' I forgot the wine.\\
'''Rose:''' For your mussels marinara?\\
'''Sophia:''' No, for me. I always drink wine during cooking contests and ''Series/MySisterSam''.
--->'''Sophia:''' ''[on her way to a cooking contest]'' I forgot the wine.\\
'''Rose:''' For your mussels marinara?\\
'''Sophia:''' No, for me. I always drink wine during cooking contests and ''Series/MySisterSam''.
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** Speaking of that presidency:
--->'''Dorothy:''' Whatever you're thinking, Rose, it isn't true.\\
'''Rose:''' Oh, good. So [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeHWBush President Bush]] isn't married to his mother.
--->'''Dorothy:''' Whatever you're thinking, Rose, it isn't true.\\
'''Rose:''' Oh, good. So [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeHWBush President Bush]] isn't married to his mother.
Changed line(s) 49 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Sophia:''' ''(To Dorothy about some medication prescribed to her by a pharmacist. She insists that the dosage is wrong) So? The man's not perfect. If he really knew what he was doing, he'd be a real doctor instead of just dressing like one.
to:
--->'''Sophia:''' ''(To Dorothy about some medication prescribed to her by a pharmacist. She insists that the dosage is wrong) wrong)'' So? The man's not perfect. If he really knew what he was doing, he'd actually be a real doctor instead of just dressing like one.
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Changed line(s) 47 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Sophia:''' New Jersey wouldn't have a state smell!
to:
--->'''Sophia:''' New Jersey wouldn't have a state smell!smell!
** Sophia didn't just insult people or places. She also went after occupations:
--->'''Sophia:''' ''(To Dorothy about some medication prescribed to her by a pharmacist. She insists that the dosage is wrong) So? The man's not perfect. If he really knew what he was doing, he'd be a real doctor instead of just dressing like one.
** Not to say doctors themselves get off easy with her:
--->'''Sophia:''' Doctors. They go to medical school for 20 years and yet still don't know enough to warm their hands before doing a breast exam!
** Sophia didn't just insult people or places. She also went after occupations:
--->'''Sophia:''' ''(To Dorothy about some medication prescribed to her by a pharmacist. She insists that the dosage is wrong) So? The man's not perfect. If he really knew what he was doing, he'd be a real doctor instead of just dressing like one.
** Not to say doctors themselves get off easy with her:
--->'''Sophia:''' Doctors. They go to medical school for 20 years and yet still don't know enough to warm their hands before doing a breast exam!
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From the opening of one episode:
to:
** From the opening of one episode:
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Changed line(s) 44 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Sophia:''' ''(to Blanche)'' What I can't stand is that phony Southern accent of yours! What is this, ''Series/DesigningWomen''?
to:
--->'''Sophia:''' ''(to Blanche)'' What I can't stand is that phony Southern accent of yours! What is this, ''Series/DesigningWomen''?''Series/DesigningWomen''?
From the opening of one episode:
--->'''Dorothy:''' Do you know what would happen if there were no swamps?
--->'''Sophia:''' New Jersey wouldn't have a state smell!
From the opening of one episode:
--->'''Dorothy:''' Do you know what would happen if there were no swamps?
--->'''Sophia:''' New Jersey wouldn't have a state smell!
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Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
'''Sophia:''' Because you had the same look of panic on your face when you got pregnant. Sort of like a deer caught in the headlights. I thought only pregnant teenagers had that expression until I saw Dan Quayle on TV.
to:
'''Sophia:''' Because you had the same look of panic on your face when you got pregnant. Sort of like a deer caught in the headlights. I thought only pregnant teenagers had that expression until I saw Dan Quayle on TV.TV.
** Another gem by Sophia:
--->'''Sophia:''' ''(to Blanche)'' What I can't stand is that phony Southern accent of yours! What is this, ''Series/DesigningWomen''?
** Another gem by Sophia:
--->'''Sophia:''' ''(to Blanche)'' What I can't stand is that phony Southern accent of yours! What is this, ''Series/DesigningWomen''?
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** Similarly to the above:
--->'''Sophia:''' There are three things you should always remember in life: one, hold on to your friends. Two, there's no such thing as security. Three, don't go see ''Film/{{Ishtar}}''. Woof.
--->'''Sophia:''' There are three things you should always remember in life: one, hold on to your friends. Two, there's no such thing as security. Three, don't go see ''Film/{{Ishtar}}''. Woof.
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** Several:
--->"If I wanted to take abuse like that, I would've worked on ''The Series/{{Roseanne}} Barr Show''!"
** And:
---> '''Dorothy:''' Now look, Rose, this nonsense has to stop. What we saw was not a UFO.\\
'''Rose:''' Well, it wasn't an airplane! Airplanes aren't that thin, or that bright.\\
'''Dorothy:''' Neither is Oprah Winfrey, but that doesn't make her a flying saucer.
** Also:
---> '''Dorothy:''' I'm really sorry. I promise I'll chant "Hail Mary" until {{Music/Madonna}} has a hit movie.
** Don't forget:
--->'''Rose:''' Now remember, this would be better with a bigger TV.\\
'''Dorothy:''' Yeah we know.\\
'''Rose:''' And it'd be better with music.\\
'''Dorothy:''' We understand you.\\
'''Rose:''' And of course it would be better-\\
'''Dorothy:''' It would be better with [[Series/CharliesAngels Shelley]] [[ReplacementScrappy Hack]], Rose, just turn it on!
** Plus:
--->'''Rose (praying to God before bed):''' I just wanted to say I think You're doing a great job. Of course, there are some things I don't understand. Like poverty... and the spokesmodel category on ''Series/StarSearch''.
** Another one:
--->'''Rose''': I just realized I'm the most boring person in the world.
--->'''Sophia''': Did something happen to Regis Philbin?
** And then there's:
--->'''Blanche:''' Well, this is great. We've been writing stories that have already been written.\\
'''Rose:''' Well, if it's any consolation, they do it all the time on ''Series/MrBelvedere''.
** This memorable moment from "Three on a Couch":
--->'''Blanche:''' ''(to a sick and couch-ridden Dorothy)'': It's just all in your head! In fact, you feel better already! You can heal yourself! Walk, Dorothy, walk!\\
'''Sophia:''' Hey, just because you put your makeup on with a butter knife doesn't make you Tammy Bakker!
** Two from "High Anxiety" in concern to Rose's prescription drug dependency, via Sophia:
--->'''Dorothy:''' That's because you're hooked on these, Rose. But honey, there's a place for people with your kind of problem.\\
'''Sophia:''' Just what the hell is Rose gonna do in the [=NBA=]?
** And later, when Rose admits embarrassment over seeking help:
--->'''Dorothy:''' Hey, was Creator/ElizabethTaylor embarrassed? Was Creator/LizaMinnelli embarrassed?\\
'''Sophia:''' She should have been: have you ever seen ''Arthur 2''? ''(makes a look of disgust)''
** Gary Hart, a Colorado Senator and Democratic Presidential frontrunner whose campaign was torpedoed in 1987 amidst allegations that he'd had an extramarital affair, was the butt of several jokes in Season 3.
--->'''Ted:''' ''[to Rose, who is still clad in her pajamas after a poor night of sleep]'' What do you do?
--->'''Dorothy:''' She's Gary Hart's campaign manager. It doesn't pay much, but you don't have to get out of bed to do it.
*** The woman Hart allegedly slept with wasn't exempt either.
---> '''Sophia:''' How gullible do you think I am? Do I look like Donna Rice?
** In later seasons, the series regularly took shots at Vice-President Dan Quayle, to the point that when Secret Service was interviewing them and wanted to talk to each of them one-on-one, Rose felt the need to say that the others wouldn't be making fun of the vice-president.
--->'''Dorothy:''' Ma, how did you know ''[that a teenage neighbor was pregnant]''?\\
'''Sophia:''' Because you had the same look of panic on your face when you got pregnant. Sort of like a deer caught in the headlights. I thought only pregnant teenagers had that expression until I saw Dan Quayle on TV.
--->"If I wanted to take abuse like that, I would've worked on ''The Series/{{Roseanne}} Barr Show''!"
** And:
---> '''Dorothy:''' Now look, Rose, this nonsense has to stop. What we saw was not a UFO.\\
'''Rose:''' Well, it wasn't an airplane! Airplanes aren't that thin, or that bright.\\
'''Dorothy:''' Neither is Oprah Winfrey, but that doesn't make her a flying saucer.
** Also:
---> '''Dorothy:''' I'm really sorry. I promise I'll chant "Hail Mary" until {{Music/Madonna}} has a hit movie.
** Don't forget:
--->'''Rose:''' Now remember, this would be better with a bigger TV.\\
'''Dorothy:''' Yeah we know.\\
'''Rose:''' And it'd be better with music.\\
'''Dorothy:''' We understand you.\\
'''Rose:''' And of course it would be better-\\
'''Dorothy:''' It would be better with [[Series/CharliesAngels Shelley]] [[ReplacementScrappy Hack]], Rose, just turn it on!
** Plus:
--->'''Rose (praying to God before bed):''' I just wanted to say I think You're doing a great job. Of course, there are some things I don't understand. Like poverty... and the spokesmodel category on ''Series/StarSearch''.
** Another one:
--->'''Rose''': I just realized I'm the most boring person in the world.
--->'''Sophia''': Did something happen to Regis Philbin?
** And then there's:
--->'''Blanche:''' Well, this is great. We've been writing stories that have already been written.\\
'''Rose:''' Well, if it's any consolation, they do it all the time on ''Series/MrBelvedere''.
** This memorable moment from "Three on a Couch":
--->'''Blanche:''' ''(to a sick and couch-ridden Dorothy)'': It's just all in your head! In fact, you feel better already! You can heal yourself! Walk, Dorothy, walk!\\
'''Sophia:''' Hey, just because you put your makeup on with a butter knife doesn't make you Tammy Bakker!
** Two from "High Anxiety" in concern to Rose's prescription drug dependency, via Sophia:
--->'''Dorothy:''' That's because you're hooked on these, Rose. But honey, there's a place for people with your kind of problem.\\
'''Sophia:''' Just what the hell is Rose gonna do in the [=NBA=]?
** And later, when Rose admits embarrassment over seeking help:
--->'''Dorothy:''' Hey, was Creator/ElizabethTaylor embarrassed? Was Creator/LizaMinnelli embarrassed?\\
'''Sophia:''' She should have been: have you ever seen ''Arthur 2''? ''(makes a look of disgust)''
** Gary Hart, a Colorado Senator and Democratic Presidential frontrunner whose campaign was torpedoed in 1987 amidst allegations that he'd had an extramarital affair, was the butt of several jokes in Season 3.
--->'''Ted:''' ''[to Rose, who is still clad in her pajamas after a poor night of sleep]'' What do you do?
--->'''Dorothy:''' She's Gary Hart's campaign manager. It doesn't pay much, but you don't have to get out of bed to do it.
*** The woman Hart allegedly slept with wasn't exempt either.
---> '''Sophia:''' How gullible do you think I am? Do I look like Donna Rice?
** In later seasons, the series regularly took shots at Vice-President Dan Quayle, to the point that when Secret Service was interviewing them and wanted to talk to each of them one-on-one, Rose felt the need to say that the others wouldn't be making fun of the vice-president.
--->'''Dorothy:''' Ma, how did you know ''[that a teenage neighbor was pregnant]''?\\
'''Sophia:''' Because you had the same look of panic on your face when you got pregnant. Sort of like a deer caught in the headlights. I thought only pregnant teenagers had that expression until I saw Dan Quayle on TV.
