History Recap / MashS2E1DividedWeStand

--> '''Trapper''': Hey, Frank, I took a lot at that kid whose bowel you resected this morning. That was some job.\\

* BlatantLies: Hawkeye, Trapper and Frank tell Captain Hildebrand the three of them work so well together they were discussing running their own clinic as a team when they get home. Hawkeye and Trapper, very believable, but either of them with Frank Burns, '''HA!'''

'''Frank''': That's right. The three of us war buddies would run the place.\\

--> '''Henry''': Klinger! I told you to get out of those clothes!
--> '''Klinger''': Not until I'm discharged, sir!

---> '''Hawkeye''': Hey! Somebody give the place a shove!
---> '''Trapper''': What is that?
---> '''Hawkeye''': I think this motel is surrounded by soldiers.
---> '''Frank''': It's disgusting that you sleep in your underwear.
---> '''Hawkeye''': Beats sleeping in yours.

----> '''Hawkeye''': Listen, Frank, we're all gonna make nice for Captain Hildebrand today, but don't push us.
----> '''Frank''': Well, a shave wouldn't be a bad start. You both look more like bums than doctors.
----> '''Trapper''': Actually, I was thinking of becoming a bum doctor, but the proctology class was full.
----> '''Frank''': [[SarcasmMode Ha ha ha.]]

-->'''Henry''': Captain Hildebrand doesn't care for any.
-->'''Radar''': Oh, then I won't bring his glass in.
-->'''Henry''': ''[nervously, to Hildebrand]'' Heh, heh... great little kidder, that one.

-->'''Frank''': I resent that, Captain. I, for one, have not cracked because of the war.\\

--> '''Henry''': I can explain that.
--> '''Hildebrand''': So can I.
--> '''Henry''': It's not what it looks like.
--> '''Hildebrand''': [[DeadpanSnarker Well, what do you think it looks like?]]
--> '''Henry''': I think it looks terrible.
--> '''Hildebrand''': Well then, that's what it looks like.
--> '''Henry''': Oh, there's nothing wrong with Klinger. He goes out with girls.
--> '''Hildebrand''': He must be stealing their clothes.

--> '''Margaret''': THAT ONE SPIES ON EVERYBODY!
--> '''Hawkeye''': Now dear, he ''is'' our son.
--> ''[Margaret's jaw drops]''
--> '''Henry''': He is not!

--> '''Trapper''': Oh, really? You got a specialty?
--> '''Henry / Hildebrand''': Uh, gynecology. / I'm a nose and throat.
--> '''Hawkeye''': Well, you were close, Henry.

-->'''Capt. Hildebrand''': These impossible people are in an impossible place, doing impossible things! They're mad, quite mad, all of them! And the only thing I can think of that would be madder still would be splitting them up!

--> '''Hawkeye''': Now dear, he is our son.
--> ''Margaret's jaw drops''

* CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass: The M*A*S*H personnel from Hildebrand's perspective, once the wounded arrive.

* WrongGenreSavvy: When Hawkeye is woken up by Radar in the dead of night, he asks if it's about a patient.