History Main / ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies

* ''LightNovel/ACertainMagicalIndex'': This is a big part of Kaori Kanzaki's decision to sever ties with her comrades and friends of the [[UsefulNotes/JapaneseChristian Amakusa Church]] in the backstory. Despite (or indeed ''because of'') her powers as a [[KungFuJesus Saint]], she was never able to prevent them from being hurt in their battles, so she left in hopes that they would be safer without her drawing more dangerous foes to them. This gets {{deconstructed}} in that the Amakusas ''hate themselves'' for seemingly being so weak they couldn't support her and needed her to win their battles. This comes to a head in Volume 16 [[spoiler:when they fail to defeat Acqua of the Back and can only watch in despair as Kaori fights him alone and force him to lengths they could never dream of...and then promptly turned on its head when Kaori herself realizes she doesn't have the power to defeat Acqua alone and that her desire to "protect" them was in many ways just her being unable to have faith in their own strength and conviction. Cue [[ThePowerOfFriendship Kaori calling out to the Amakusa to join her in fighting him, which they do without hesitation and with joy in their hearts]]]].

* ''Anime/WeissKreuz'': Yuriko, Sakura, and Aya-chan get this treatment, via the main characters simply disappearing and never seeing them again--for good reason, since the ones who ''don't'' get the ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies treatment (such as Ouka and, in ''Anime/WeissKreuz [[OddlyNamedSequel2ElectricBoogaloo Gluhen]]'', Asami) always end up dead.

* A ''TabletopGame/{{Shadowrun}}'' book by Creator/MichaelStackpole ("Wolf and Raven") includes this.

* In ''VideoGame/VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines,'' you can meet a young woman named Heather Poe in the Santa Monica hospital, bleeding and in pain, but the doctor is tending to another patient, and you have the option to feed her some of your blood, healing her. If you do, you'll encounter her in the street not too long after; [[IOweYouMyLife she's extremely grateful for your help, and begs you to let her do anything in her power to make your vampire existence easier.]] You can either tell her to go away for her own good, or take her in, where her behavior will steadily get more eccentric in an effort to please you, from bringing a man home for you to feed from, to dressing however you ask. You're eventually given the option to [[ShooTheDog drive her out of your home for her own safety]], since by this point you're enbroiled in a great deal of conspiracy and violence. [[spoiler:If you keep her around, the Sabbat, a bloodthirsty vampire clan who is very much not happy with you, will kidnap and kill her, assumedly to spur you into shortsighted retaliation.]]

* In ''VideoGame/VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines,'' you can meet a young woman named Heather Poe in the Santa Monica hospital, bleeding and in pain, but the doctor is tending to another patient, and you have the option to feed her some of your blood, healing her. If you do, you'll encounter her in the street not too long after; [[IOweYouMyLife she's extremely grateful for your help, and begs you to let her do anything in her power to make your vampire existence easier.]] You can either tell her to go away for her own good, or take her in, where her behavior will steadily get more eccentric in an effort to please you, from bringing a man home for you to feed from, to dressing however you ask. You're eventually given the option to [[ShooTheDog drive her out of your home for her own safety]], since by this point you're enbroiled in a great deal of conspiracy and violence. If you keep her around, the Sabbat, a bloodthirsty vampire clan who is very much not happy with you, will kidnap and kill her, assumedly to spur you into shortsighted retaliation.

* ''Series/PennyDreadful'': Vanessa essentially uses this excuse to break off an impending CoitusEnsues moment with Ethan. In this case, the enemy is as much [[spoiler:Satan]] as [[EnemyWithin herself]], as sex is one way of triggering her ApocalypseMaiden status.

* In ''HirogaruSkyPrettyCure'', Sora starts having nightmares of her FirstFriend Mashiro getting hurt after she became Cure Prism. Thus, she tries to handle things on her own as Cure Sky. Thankfully, Mashiro is able to get through to Sora and this helps unlock their CombinationAttack.

* ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'': A version of this is done in ''New Moon'', when Edward leaves Bella, telling her she'll never see him again, in order to keep her safe. Not played exactly straight because he's not protecting her from his enemies so much as [[FriendlyNeighborhoodVampires from]] his own "insatiable" [[HorrorHunger thirst for her blood]]. In actuality, he left her unprotected from his enemies.

* ''Literature/PeaceTalks'': The trope becomes deconstructed, and almost leads to Harry and Ebenezar coming to blows. [[spoiler:Ebenezar insists Harry should send Maggie away to avoid making her a target. Harry, on the other hand, believes that being present in Maggie's life allows him to both give her the parental affection she needs to turn into an emotionally functional human being (unlike Harry) and protection. He angrily points out what Ebenezar's parenting style has already done to their family; it turned Harry's mother into the kind of person Demons and Winter Fae speak fondly of and drove her into the hands of the White King, directly causing her (and possibly Harry's father's) premature death. It also left Harry to the tender mercies of the American foster care system and [[EvilMentor Justin DuMorne]] and forced him to become a killer before his seventeenth birthday in order to survive. Maggie's time in her first foster home led to her being abducted and nearly killed by the Red Court, and directly caused Maggie's mother's death. Michael's home is well-protected, but that didn't stop Nicodemus from making an attempt on the Carpenter family, and Michael is probably one of the handful of people with an even more impressive list of enemies than Harry or Ebenezar.]]

** [[SubvertedTrope Subverted]] in the [[FourthWallMailSlot Q&A]]'s: [[HotScientist Amanda]] asks [[BadassTeacher Raven]] [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2011-07-29 on a date]], Raven replies with this. Amanda's response:

* In ''WesternAnimation/SupermanDoomsday'', Superman and Lois get into a fight over Superman's refusal to reveal his identity to her (despite her clearly knowing who he is, she just wanted him to finally admit it). He claims that he's doing this to protect her and not compromise her safety. Lois then argues that her safety was compromised the moment they met.

* ''Series/{{Bones}}'': Booth breaks up with Camille after the latter was poisoned by a serial killer they were on the trail of, believing their line of work to be too high-risk to be caring for one another at that level.

* In ''Film/SpiderManNoWayHome'', [[spoiler: as ComicBook/DoctorStrange works to {{unperson}} Peter in order to repair the space-time continuum at the end of the film, Peter promises M.J. and his BestFriend Ned that he'll come to find them again. However, after seeing them happy and safe without him around he can't bring himself to go through with it [[MentorOccupationalHazard after having already lost Aunt May]] and leaves.]]

* ''Literature/PeaceTalks'': The trope becomes deconstructed, and almost leads to Harry and Ebenezar coming to blows. [[spoiler:Ebenezar insists Harry should send Maggie away to avoid making her a target. Harry, on the other hand, believes that being present in Maggie's life allows him to both give her the parental affection she needs to turn into an emotionally functional human being (unlike Harry) and protection. He angrily points out what Ebenezar's parenting style has already done to their family; it turned Harry's mother into the kind of person Demons and Winter Fae speak fondly of and drove her into the hands of the White King, directly causing her (and possibly Harry's father's) premature death. It also left Harry to the tender mercies of the American foster care system and [[EvilMentor Justin[=DuMorne=]]] and forced him to become a killer before his seventeenth birthday in order to survive. Maggie's time in her first foster home led to her being abducted and nearly killed by the Red Court, and directly caused Maggie's mother's death. Michael's home is well-protected, but that didn't stop Nicodemus from making an attempt on the Carpenter family, and Michael is probably one of the handful of people with an even more impressive list of enemies than Harry or Ebenezar.]]

* In''Literature/TheLicaniusTrilogy'', Caeden tries to keep his distance from princess Karaliene despite his romantic feelings for her. Flashbacks reveal his PsychoExGirlfriend Nethgalla has a habit of murdering women he like, then shapeshifting into them to get close to him again. [[spoiler: It's already too late, though]].

** Although speaking of Joker, he's actually something of a subversion. While he won't think twice about attacking a Robin or a Batgirl, it's been noted numerous times that Joker's had the ability to discover who Batman really is, and could potentially attack those close to him in their civilian lives, but never has because he simply doesn't ''care'' who Batman is behind the mask. Barbara being paralyzed in ''The Killing Joke'' was actually totally unrelated to her life as Batgirl.

* [[ComicBook/{{Hellblazer}} John Constantine]] really ''ought'' to do this. But often doesn't.

* ''Franchise/{{Superman}}'':

** Non-romantic variant: When Superman first met ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} in ''ComicBook/TheSupergirlFromKrypton'' -back in the Silver Age-, she wanted to live with him, but he sent her to an orphanage because he was afraid that his enemies would target her if they found out about his cousin (and he was proved right in [[ComicBook/TheSupergirlFromKrypton2004 the Post-Crisis version of that story]]: as soon as Kara arrived on Earth, super-villains began attacking her and ComicBook/{{Darkseid}} kidnapped her).

LoveHurts. Add the SortingAlgorithmOfMortality, and it's just plain unbearable. TheHero has a ready and willing {{Love Interest|s}} who makes him happy, who would be good for him, with whom [[OneTruePairing even the fans want to see him]]. No LoveTriangle, no MayflyDecemberRomance, no VirginPower, no TwiceShy--things could be perfect. It's plain as day that he cares more about her than anything else... plain to everyone, including the BigBad. TheHero knows that his enemies will never let him have a love life in peace; they'll [[AndYourLittleDogToo strike down the people dearest to him]] first chance they get. The only way to protect his beloved from becoming BigBad cannon fodder is by letting her go. Despite what a noble, selfless move it is, the spurned Love Interest's reaction will usually be, "Screw the danger! I don't care!", to show [[SingleWomanSeeksGoodMan they love]] TheHero just as much.

Though in all fairness, in a practical sense, this should actually ensure that the hero's loved one should be granted PlotArmor from this method. But the sad fact of the matter is that all too often it doesn't. In fact, the only way that a character would be safe is if they are considered [[DemotedToExtra too minor for writers to care about]]. (And, even then, [[FriendlyTarget these characters are not always safe, either]].) However, there are also other certain flaws to consider, as villains are normally not known for being discriminate about their potential victims. So sadly, heroes, even if you do convince your enemies that your loved ones are random strangers you never heard of, chances are [[TargetedToHurtTheHero they will most likely go after your loved ones anyways]]. (Not to mention that normally heroes save anyone whom their enemies attack, regardless of whether if the Hero personally knows them or not, because it's the right thing to do.)

* ''Film/TheAmazingSpiderMan'': Peter [[spoiler:tries to end his relationship with Gwen this way, but ultimately changes his mind]].

* ''Manga/YuYuHakusho'': The reason why [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold Yusuke Urameshi]] keeps [[{{Tsundere}} Keiko]] in the dark about his life as a spirit detective is out of fear that if she knows it then it will only be a matter of time until she is in danger. [[spoiler:Naturally, later on in the 2nd arc, it fails miserably and she [[WhatTheHellHero calls him out on this]] but, to be fair, at least she wasn't [[StuffedIntoTheFridge killed off]] at the end of that arc]].

* In Stephen Marley's ''Literature/ChiaBlackDragon'' series, Chia (an immortal lesbian BlackMagicianGirl) knows that her nemesis, [[TheChessmaster Nyak]], will kill any woman she loves, which discourages her from pursuing relationships. Sometimes she does anyway, and the other girl is invariably killed by Nyak. Chia doesn't just have one past girlfriend StuffedIntoTheFridge, she has ''dozens''.

* ''Franchise/{{Superman}}'':
** For decades, this was used as one of the reasons that Superman couldn't marry ComicBook/LoisLane. Of course, she was publicly known as "Superman's Girlfriend", she had an [[TooDumbToLive almost suicidal capacity for putting herself in danger]], and he probably spent as much time at the Daily Planet as Superman as he did as Clark. {{Lampshaded}} in ''WesternAnimation/SupermanDoomsday'' when Lois points out everyone attacks her ''anyway'' because they think they're an item.
** In ''ComicBook/KryptonNoMore'', Clark has lunch with Lois, and he thinks as he eats [[https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-JNO4lvo4jOg/TWz_UFdH-LI/AAAAAAAALSA/ors2V4NkFSc/s1600/sm+308-04.jpg that he always resisted a romance due to the danger it might cause Lois]].
** Non-romantic variant: When Superman first met ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} in ''ComicBook/TheSupergirlFromKrypton'' -back in the Silver Age-, she wanted to live with him, but he sent her to an orphanage because he was afraid that his enemies would target her if they found out about his cousin (and he was proved right in [[ComicBook/TheSupergirlFromKrypton2004 the Post-Crisis version of that story]]: as soon as Kara arrived on Earth, super-villains began attacking her and ComicBook/{{Darkseid}} kidnapped her).
** In ''ComicBook/SupergirlCosmicAdventuresInThe8thGrade'', Superman tells his cousin that she has to keep her powers secret and learn to control them before becoming Supergirl because his enemies would attack her.
** The storyline ''Superman: Ending Battle'' featured Manchester Black learning Clark's secret. To get his revenge on Superman, he uses his mental powers to command ''every villain in the whole world'' to kill anyone who has ''ever'' shown Clark Kent one iota of kindness. The hit-list includes ComicBook/LexLuthor, the Daily Planet staff, his parents, his ''first grade teacher'', his old football coach... ComicBook/LexLuthor is informed of who Superman is as well; he finds the whole thing hilarious and plans to sit back and relax while Superman spends the rest of the day fighting and panicking. Come nightfall, Lex sits down to his computer deciding its time to destroy the Man of Steel utterly...just in time, of course, for Manchester Black to have a change of heart and [[StatusQuoIsGod wipe the knowledge clean again]].
* ''ComicBook/{{X 23}}'' provides a non-romantic version with her parting from her Aunt Debbie and cousin Megan. Unlike most, she gives them this speech, along with directions to a money stash and instructions on how best to go underground...''after'' their house was blown up and they were nearly tortured to death to punish her.
-->"How... how will you find us?
-->"I said, how will you find us?"
-->''[...]''
-->"Goodbye, Megan."

* In a way, ANY given costumed super hero with a secret identity can be quite susceptible to this. (Even characters who don't have a secret identity are not immune from this as well.)
** An example for the above statement would be Benjamin Grimm, AKA [[ComicBook/FantasticFour The Ever-Lovin' Blue-Eyed Thing]], who left his fiancee at the altar because of this--he saw Spidey, Daredevil, Banner and Namor sitting together talking at the wedding, and realized that ''all four'' of them had lost the women they loved.
* In the ''ComicBook/UltimateSpiderMan'' comic book, Peter breaks up with MJ to "keep her safe". It doesn't work, and MJ is still thrown into dangerous situations, so they get back together. Yup, we thought it was stupid, too.
** She split up with him, first, for being Spider-Man and therefore incredibly heartbreaking and high-maintenance.
** In this case, the problem is that Peter Parker and Mary-Jane go to the same school and, in this verse, many of Spidey's enemies know full-well that he is really Peter Parker, so the school and everyone he knows are under constant threat anyway. Probably didn't much help that both [[ComicBook/XMen Kitty Pryde]] ''and'' [[ComicBook/FantasticFour Johnny Storm]] start going to his school as well. If Peter ''really'' wanted to protect his loved ones, he should probably have had himself and everyone he knows put into protective custody and his school probably should have been shut down, while Peter continued his education in a secure [[=SHIELD=]] facility.

* In ''ComicBook/AstroCity'', this is the reason Silver Agent gave to his first girlfriend. It was a lie; actually, he was sterile, but knew if he told her that, she would try to stifle her dreams for him.
* In the season 8 ''ComicBook/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' comics, Buffy is woken with a TrueLovesKiss, which we initially think was from Xander. It turns out it was from Satsu, a Slayer who is [[HoYay in love with Buffy]]. Buffy tries to dump her due to how much danger she would be in by being her love interest. [[MasterOfTheMixedMessage Then Buffy sleeps with Satsu. She again invokes this trope, then sleeps with her again]].
* Subverted in ''ComicBook/{{Generations|MarvelComics}}'' #3: After rescuing Amiko from Comicbook/{{Sabretooth}}, [[ComicBook/{{Wolverine}} Logan]] tells Laura this is why he can't be in her life when she chides him for not spending a night with his daughter. Laura immediately points out that not being in Amiko's life made no difference, and Creed targeted her ''anyway''.

* Played straight and downplayed in ''Fanfic/BackToTheFuturePrequel'': Doc breaks off his friendship with Marty in order to protect him from a vengeful former schoolmate and from being contaminated by Doc's reputation. [[ForegoneConclusion Of course,]] [[SubvertedTrope they get back together.]]

* In ''Fanfic/KyonBigDamnHero'', [[OCStandIn Michikyuu Kanae]] gave a speech about how she's just bringing trouble on the SOS Brigade [[spoiler:before attempting to slide to another world... at which point Nagato [[DefiedTrope engages the Dimensional Anchor, trapping her]]]].
* In ''Fanfic/InFlight'', [[VisualNovel/FateStayNight Shirou]] leaves [[{{Tsundere}} Rin]] and Saber behind in England when he runs away before the Mage's Organization does something horrible to him due to this trope, especially as they rely on and belong to said organization.
* This trope and ConflictingLoyalty are responsible for the issues getting between [[Manga/LuckyStar Kagami]] and [[Anime/PuellaMagiMadokaMagica Homura]] in ''Fanfic/StarsAbove''.

* This is given as the reason why Cullen puts up with the harassment from admirers at the Winter Palace ball in ''[[Fanfic/TwiceUponAnAge All This Sh*t is Twice as Weird]]''. He ''could'' chase them off by informing them that he's in a relationship with the [[VideoGame/DragonAgeInquisition Lady Inquisitor]], but she's afraid someone would hurt him to get to her - and the way some of the ball guests are acting, he's legitimately concerned that one of them [[MurderTheHypotenuse might hurt]] ''her'' to get to ''him.''
* Varric contemplates the trope in ''Fanfic/BeyondHeroes: Of Sunshine and Red Lyrium''. [[VideoGame/DragonAgeInquisition The Inquisitor]] is [[VideoGame/DragonAgeII Bethany Hawke]], and he observes her lack of {{love interest}} and wonders if she's refusing to get involved with anyone because of this. He's partially correct.

* This trope, ConflictingLoyalty, the LoveTriangle, and being LockedOutOfTheLoop is responsible for most, if not, all the [[LoveHurts issues]] between [[Manga/{{Bleach}} Orihime]] and [[Manga/FullmetalAlchemist Edward]] in ''Fanfic/TheFlowerPrincessAndTheAlchemist''.

* Sia from ''Manhwa/MetalHeart'' tried this to get away from Minwoo to protect him but he convinced her stay.

* In ''Manga/RurouniKenshin'', Kenshin leaves to Tokyo to face Shishio on his own and not put the lives of his girlfriend Kaoru and the rest of his TrueCompanions at risk. [[spoiler:It doesn't work, they join him anyway]].

* Franchise/{{Superman}}:

** Non-romantic variant: When Superman first met ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} in ''ComicBook/TheSupergirlFromKrypton'' -back in the Silver Age-, she wanted to live with him, but he sent her to an orphanage because he was afraid that his enemies would target her if they found out about his cousin (he was proved right in the Post-Crisis version of that story: as soon as Kara arrived on Earth, super-villains began attacking her and ComicBook/{{Darkseid}} kidnapped her).