History Funny / StarTrekIntoDarkness

-->'''[=McCoy=]:''' Sweetheart, I once performed an emergency C-section on a pregnant Gorn. Octuplets, and let me tell you, those little bastards bite. I think I can work some magic on your missile.

'''Spock:''' I am Vulcan, sir. We embrace technicalities.\\

** Pike begins sounding like a drill sergeant trying to intimidate a defiant trainee, but realizing that this a Vulcan he's arguing with, can only just tell him "Out" and dismiss him from the room.

** Pike begins sounding like a drill sargent trying to intimidate a defiant trainee, but realizing that this a Vulcan he's arguing with, can only just tell him "Out" and dismiss him from the room.

* Implied Offscreen Funny Moment: There is just no way Spock Prime's account of the climax of ''Wrath of Khan'' didn't include, if not begin with, the following:

'''Spock:''' I am expressing multiple attitudes simultaneously. To which are you referring?
** Pike begins sounding like a drill sargent trying to intimidate a trainee, but realizing that this a Vulcan he's arguing with, can only just tell him "out" and dismiss him from the room.

*** At one point, Kirk irritably calls Spock "pointy" while ranting at him, causing Spock to ask, "'Pointy'? Is that a derogatory reference--" before Pike cuts him off.

-->[[spoiler:Well, shit. You talked to him.]]

--->'''Spock:''' "If you interrupt her now you will not only incur the wrath of the Klingons, but that of Lt. Uhura as well."

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[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/star_trek_into_darkness_funny.jpg]]

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** While Kirk is fleeing the angry natives, a massive beast rears up in front of him, which he immediately stuns...only for Bones to run up.

** Scotty's DoubleTake at the fish-thing swimming by the view screen of the ''Enterprise.''

'''Uhura:''' Spock, I was kidding. \\

---> '''Kirk''': Spock, you alright?\\
'''Spock''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Captain, you let them]] [[HonorBeforeReason see our ship.]]\\
'''Bones''': [[DeadpanSnarker He's fine.]]

-->'''Pike''': That's a technicality.\\
'''Spock''': I am Vulcan, sir. We embrace technicalities.\\

** Which could be a CallBack to the cat woman from Star Trek V.

--->'''Kirk''': Guys. Are...are we really going to do this right now?\\

'''Uhura''': I'm sorry, Captain, just two seconds.\\
'''Kirk''': Uh, okay.\\

-->'''Kirk''': Sometimes, I just want to rip the ''[pauses]'' bangs off his head.

-->'''Kirk''': Bones, thanks for helping out. Dr. Marcus asked for the steadiest hands on the ship.\\
'''[=McCoy=]''': You know, when I dreamt about being stuck on a deserted planet with a gorgeous woman, there was no torpedo!\\
'''Kirk''': Dr. [=McCoy=], may I remind you that you're not there to flirt.\\
'''[=McCoy=]''': ''[to Carol]'' So how can these legendary hands help you, Dr. Marcus?\\
'''Kirk''': Bones...

-->'''[=McCoy=]''': Sweetheart, I once performed an emergency C-section on a pregnant Gorn. Octuplets, and let you tell you, those little bastards bite. I think I can work some magic on your missile.

* When Kirk, Scotty, and Harrison are aboard Vengeance and making their way to the bridge. A random mook appears form round the corner and Harrison immediately goes from talking to beating the guy up. Kirk and Scotty watch for a moment then begin to slowly back away.

* When the Enterprise drops out of warp, and Kirk messages Chekov to find out what happened, and says in the most resigned voice ever...

* When Kirk and Harrison are [[spoiler: preparing to jump from the Enterprise's airlock into the Vengeance's]], Scotty protests that it would be like "jumping out of a moving car, off a bridge, into your shot glass".
--> '''Kirk''': [[CallBack It's okay, I've done it before]].[[note]] Referencing jumping down to the drill in the first movie. [[/note]] \\

'''Kirk''': Yeah, it was vertical, we jumped out through a...a... (beat) It doesn't matter.
** The best part? Judging by Harrison's look, he very possibly thought Kirk really ''had'' "jumped out of a moving car, off a bridge, into a shot glass".
*** It's also the only time in the whole movie where the man doesn't look creepy or evil, which is funny in itself.
*** And how, after Kirk claims it 'doesn't matter', Harrison simply turns away with a small roll of his eyes.

* Kirk arriving on the bridge of the rechristened Enterprise, only to find a grinning Sulu sitting in the captain's chair.

--->'''Kirk''': C'mon, it'll be fun!\\
'''[=McCoy=]''': Five years in space, God help me.

-->'''Kirk''': Spock, my display's down; I'm flying blind.
-->'''Spock''': Captain, without your display compass, hitting your target destination is mathematically impossible.
-->'''Kirk''': Spock, if I get back, we really need to talk about your bedside manner.
** Bones isn't exactly a fan of the bedside manner, either.
--->'''Bones''': Boy, you're a real comfort.

-->'''[=McCoy=]''': Jim, wait! You just sat that man down at a high stakes poker game with no cards and told him to bluff. Now Sulu's a good man, but he's no captain.
-->'''Kirk''': For the next two hours, he is. And enough with the metaphors, all right? That's an order.

-->'''Kirk''': [[spoiler:Khan]], Scotty. Scotty, [[spoiler:Khan]].

-->'''Spock Prime''': We took this big nebula, and fired a prototype terraforming torpedo right at its center...
* When Scotty sees the Vengeance for the first time:

-->[[CurseCutShort *swish of doors opening for Kirk and Spock on the Enterprise*]]

** When Kirk reaches for his phaser, he falls into the wall...and promptly smashes it.
** Uhura's accidental GroinAttack on a Klingon.
** Spock literally disappearing off screen suddenly when he trips.
** Scotty messing up his lines. And then ranting to himself.
--->'''Scotty''': It's a portable trans-warp beaming device.
--->'''Spock''': Are you certain?
--->'''Scotty''': Aye, it said in the script.

--->'''Scotty''': It's a portable trans-warp beaming device!
--->'''Simon's Best Impression of Spock''': Are you sure?
--->'''Scotty''': 'Course I'm sure, ya bastard! It's a big [[PrecisionFStrike f***ing]] thing made of metal, what's it look like?!
** Kirk needs to work on his aim.

** Scotty's over-the-top reaction to the ship shaking - which then becomes an improvised dance.
* The reference to the pregnant Gorn is all the more funnier when you realize that in the video game that preceded the film, Dr. [=McCoy=] ''really did'' operate on the Gorn.

** The fact that Benedict Cumberbatch, the very one whose's supposed to be playing a genius superhuman, signed the form without reading it in his big, loopy signature. Oh, Benedict.

** And before that, Kirk was making eyes at a pretty girl and was about to make his move when [[MomentKiller Pike suddenly appears]], killing Jim's game.

** Uhura's actress flubbing her lines by saying that the Klingons are "banging" their scanners.

** In the {{Novelization}}, when Scotty gets the call, he first assumes that the chirping sound of his communicator is "the focused emissions of a dying pulsar, aimed with fiendish precision at the back of his head". How he comes to that particular assumption is anyone's guess.

** Moments before that, upon being told he's answering to a different Captain, Spock gives Kirk the most adorable kicked puppy look a Vulcan can manage. It's [[CrowningMomentOfFunny funny]], [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming heartwarming]] and TearJerker all rolled into one.

* The end of Spock's thoroughly [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] NoHoldsBarredBeatdown of [[spoiler: Khan after Kirk's death]]. Uhura's gotten him to stop, but he just has to get in one more uppercut. Cue blackout.